Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/15/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AT LEAST SOMETHING USEFUL IS BEING BUILT WITH THE “BORDER SECURITY” MONEY THAT DONALD TRUMP WAS BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT – As part of the billions of dollars that were approved by Congress for border security, a large detention center will be built in El Paso to house refugee families while they are processed for asylum.  The now empty Hoover plant in West El Paso will be converted for this purpose starting in the spring but there is still no word on whether the $190 million earmarked for this project will be used at the proposed Hoover location or if another purpose built center will be constructed at a yet to be named location.  Kudos to Congresswoman Veronica Escobar for managing to snag a massive $100+ million plus project for El Paso amidst the border security melee – aka Trump Wall Temper Tantrum.  As a bonus, this construction project will actually serve a purpose and make the system more efficient, unlike the useless border wall project that is just an egotistical boondoggle.  (cbs4local.com)

WHO KNEW MEERKATS WOULD MAKE SUCH GOOD ACCOMPLICES FOR VALENTINE’S DAY REVENGE? – The El Paso Zoo had a great promotion this Valentine’s Day where they would name a cockroach after your ex and then feed it to one of their meerkats.  The ‘Quit Bugging Me’ event was a great success that attracted international media attention, had online submissions from all over the world and raised money for zoo exhibits.  The meerkats get to eat cockroaches as a treat anyway, so might as well make a neat little promotion out of it.  Kudos to the El Paso Zoo for coming up with a great promotional event and to the meerkats for being so adorable.  Now if you’ll excuse me I will go and mourn for the brave little cockroach that was named after me.  (cbs4local.com)

LOOK AT THOMASON HOSPITAL BEING ALL INNOVATIVE AND FANCY.  GOOD SHOW, THOMASON HOSPITAL – A brand new surgical procedure was recently performed at UMC in order to help a patient suffering from stomach cancer.  The surgical procedure was led by Dr. Mendoza-Ladd and helped a patient who couldn’t eat because of a blockage in his digestive tract.  The “endoscopic jejunostomy” operation creates a new hole in the stomach which is then connected to the small intestine thus bypassing the blockage.  This is only the second time this operation has been completed in Texas and offers incredible relief to people who are suffering from similar conditions.  Kudos, Thomason Hospital.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

KEEP ON EYE ON 5G NETWORKS IN THE FUTURE.  FOR THE UNITED STATES TO ATTACK HUAWEI LIKE THAT, IT CAN ONLY MEAN THAT ALL GOVERNMENTS ARE PLANNING TO USE THE NETWORK FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES IN THE FUTURE – European mobile networks are the latest group to raise the alarm over 5G security and as it is set to roll out strong in the coming years, this is a major issue that more people should be paying attention too.  The first sign that this is much bigger than just a simple cell service upgrade came when the United States government went after Huawei because it is one of the largest equipment suppliers for the 5G network.  Although it looks like a case of corporate protectionism at first glance, one has to wonder if the U.S. government is just projecting its own motives on Huawei and wants them out of the picture because everything they are accusing them of is exactly what they want to do.  At this point, any country worth its salt should be looking at creating their own networks with their own home grown suppliers.  Because if 5G is going to be a vital part of the future infrastructure involving the internet of things and self-driving car networks, it’s best that neutral countries don’t depend too much on China or the USA.  (bbc.com)

IN THE FUTURE, EL PASO’S CLIMATE WILL BE LIKE ARIZONA AND ARIZONA WILL JUST BECOME AN OVEN AND EXPLODE – A massive study published in Nature Communications shows how the climate in the major cities in America will change in 60 years if nothing is done to stop climate change.  The hard working researchers even created a web program that lets you choose a city and then gives you a forecast for which current city the climate will likely emulate in 60 years.  In El Paso and Las Cruces’ case, the climate in 60 years will most likely resemble Phoenix – so it will be slightly warmer and drier and a lot more racist (Arizona redneck joke!).  So unless we get our act together, we’re going to get a bit hotter in the future.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

DONALD TRUMP CONTINUES TO BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – Fresh off the heels of his bullshit-filled racist monologue in El Paso on Monday night, Donald Trump decided the best way to build a stupid fucking wall is to declare a fake national emergency in order to steal taxpayer money.  So like a good little fascist he is trying to go around the checks and balances of the Constitution because congress doesn’t agree with his stupid ideas and doesn’t want to give him an ungodly amount for a stupid wall.  This will naturally go to the courts and we will have to see if certain “compromised” individuals on the Supreme Court follow their master’s bidding or show some backbone and protect the integrity of the nation.  Of note is that Donald Trump literally said that he didn’t have to do this and could wait to get the funding but wanted to see if he could abuse his power and get the money faster; thus negating any claim he has that there is an actual emergency on the border.  Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/08/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 11 BETO O’ROURKE WILL LEAD THE EL PASO COMMUNITY ON A MARCH TO CELEBRATE THE PEACE AND UNITY OF THE PASO DEL NORTE REGION.  ALSO ON THAT DAY, A VILE RACIST OLD MAN WILL SPEW LIES AND HORSESHIT ON A STAGE IN THE EL PASO COUNTY COLISEUM – Multiple El Paso-area organizations will be uniting on Monday to march from Bowie High School to Chalio Acosta Park where they will be led by Beto O’Rourke in a celebration of unity at the border.  The March For Truth will take place at around 6 PM and will run counter to Donald Trump’s glorified klan rally in the coliseum.  So let’s all attend the March For Truth and keep the coliseum empty for the fascist’s vile rhetoric.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE LAS CRUCES INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL IS ALMOST UPON US.  START STOCKING UP ON CHILE AND BOOZE – One of the coolest regional arts events is the Las Cruces International Film Festival.  The event is less than two weeks away and the lineup and special guests are as great as ever.  This year the event features film events with Edward James Olmos and George Lopez, so start preparing your Battlestar Galactica questions now.  Get your tickets now and get ready for the Las Cruces International Film Festival!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EL PASO NEEDS ANOTHER CHURCH AS MUCH AS IT NEEDS ANOTHER BAR.  BECAUSE LORD KNOWS EL PASO DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH BARS AND CHURCHES – It seems like every day a new random bar or church opens up somewhere in El Paso.  But now a popular church has replaced a popular club to some hilarious reactions online.  Abundant Living Faith Center (El Paso’s own tribute to Joel Osteen without the closeted homosexuality) has purchased over the building that once housed the popular Tricky Falls nightclub on El Paso Street.  The reaction online has been hilarious and some crazy people online had some real choice words for ALFC after they announced the deal.  In ALFC’s defense, the prick owner of the building kicked Tricky Falls out a few months back and the building was simply sold to the highest bidder.  But it is a bit of a downer that a popular performance space that offered something unique in the city will now be replaced by something that is available in practically every block in the city.  But hey, a fancy church will add some diversity to Downtown’s business lineup and since the building now has an owner/tenant it will finally get a full blown renovation.  But still, it stings.  Rest in Peace, Tricky Falls.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHEN BILLIONAIRES FIGHT EACH OTHER TO THE DEATH, WE ALL WIN – According to Jeff Bezos (the guy who conned humanity into giving him billions of dollars for a business model that barely turns a profit), the National Enquirer is trying to blackmail him via dick pics because of his ownership of the Washington Post and his fights against the powers that be.  Whether completely true or not, the last person you want to blackmail is a fucker with billions of dollars and not just “pretend billions”.  What makes this more intriguing, however, is the insinuation that certain people in power (coughTRUMPcough) and his cronies used their position to get dirt on Jeff Bezos and feed it to the National Enquirer.  Given the fact that the garbage enquirer’s owner has his mouth around Donald Trump’s dick and that the organization has been found to work with the idiot in the past, it’s not too far-fetched to believe that Donald Trump and friends have been using the government to try and attack Jeff Bezos.  Turns out that billionaires are just as petty and trashy as everyone else.  (bbc.com)

MEANWHILE IN BRITAIN, THE UK EXPRESS HAS LOST ITS BRAKES AS IT CAREENS TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF KNOWN AS NO DEAL BREXIT – Even though Britain has no leverage whatsoever, Theresa May continues to ask for concessions from the European Union for her stupid Brexit plan.  The EU is, obviously, just laughing when she gives her demands but you have to admire her blind devotion to a stupid cause.  The main issue continues to be the Northern Ireland border backstop but it is highly unlikely that the European Union will let the UK have their cake and eat it too by letting them leave the EU but still give them special treatment with freedom of movement.  I guess that grand plan of having the UK leave the EU yet still having freedom of movement and business for UK residents only didn’t work out.  Who would’ve thought?  (bbc.com)

SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT FISH AND HONEY BEES ARE SMARTER THAN DONALD TRUMP.  THAT IS NOT SURPRISING AT ALL – New scientific research has discovered that fish can recognize themselves in a mirror and that honey bees can do basic math.  So these animals are self aware, can do basic math and would more than likely not lie after being presented with facts and data.  Hell, it seems like most fish and bees are infinitely more qualified to be in the White House than most of the current inhabitants.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/01/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE DECADES, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS BEGINNING TO BE MORE TRANSPARENT WITH ITS HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE AND THE EL PASO DIOCESE IS COMING TO TERMS WITH ITS PAST SINS – In conjunction with all the Catholic Diocese in Texas, the El Paso Diocese has recently released a list of all the priests who ever served in the El Paso Diocese who had credible accusations of child molestation brought against them.  Although the percentage of abuse was lower than the national average and the last recorded case came in 1999, it is still disheartening to see that people that were placed to help the community could cause so much harm.  This is merely one of the first steps as the Catholic Church in El Paso seeks to heal from this unfortunate part of its history.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

PLEASE WELCOME THE ADORABLE DEJA THE BABY SIAMANG TO THE EL PASO ZOO – Deja the siamang has arrived from the Pittsburgh Zoo as the adorable ape searches for foster parents.  Siamangs are in the gibbon family which is part of the larger ape family that includes the more recognizable gorillas and chimpanzees.  Deja is coming to the El Paso Zoo after her mother sadly rejected her at birth and is being hand raised until she is introduced to her surrogate siamang family here at the zoo.  The hope is that the El Paso Zoo’s resident siamangs, Suni and Adinda, will accept her and that she will become part of their family unit.  Deja is only 5 months old and visitors will be able to see her during special sessions where the zoo staff will show how they are taking care of her.  Kudos to the El Paso Zoo for doing their part in protecting endangered species.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

APPARENTLY THE CONCEPT OF PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY IS TOO HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND.  I GUESS “PUBLIC” AND “PERSONAL PROPERTY” ARE EASILY CONFUSED BY SOME – Once again, the people with homes around UTEP and Kern Place are bitching and complaining because they think that the sidewalk in front of their houses belongs to them and that the street in front of their house is their own personal parking space.  First they bitched and moaned about UTEP students and now they are complaining about hospital visitors and staff.  It’s been said before, but we shall try to explain the concept of public right of way once more to these obviously confused people.  The personal property line of all houses ends where the sidewalk or parkway begins.  The sidewalk, parkway and street are all part of the PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY and belong to everyone in the public.  Anyone in the public has as much of a right to walk and park in front of a house as anyone else.  IT IS NOT THE HOMEOWNER’S PERSONAL PARKING SPACE!  IT’S PUBLIC FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY!  Read the damn city code or any civil code to understand this basic universal concept.  And if all else fails the residents in these areas can go ahead and lease the space from the city at a fair market rate for their personal parking or create one of those stupid parking districts that the city made up to make the whiny crybabies shut the fuck up.  And shame on the local media for referring to this issue as a “residential parking problem”.  There’s no such thing as fucking “residential parking”, public right of way belongs to EVERYONE.  Please stop pandering to these crybabies.  If they don’t like a dense urban environment they can move to Montana Vista and have all the on-street public parking that their hearts’ desire.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

YUP, THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL COLD – A phenomenon known as a polar vortex has brought crippling cold to a good portion of the central and eastern United States.  The temperature went down to minus 49 degrees Celsius (minus 56 degrees Fahrenheit) in some parts of the country with a wind chill close to negative one meeleeon beeleeon degrees.  So yeah, it was a smidge cold in the Midwest this week.  And of course, there were idiots – including Donald Trump – using this as “proof” that global warming/climate change doesn’t exist even though this is an example of weather and not climate.  In fact, most climate change forecasts show that extreme weather phenomenon will increase in a rapidly warming world and that events like polar vortex explosions will become more common in the future.  And just for the record, Australia just experienced their warmest January on record.  So it is really, really hot in some parts of the world right now.  (reuters.com)

DEATH BY TOXIC SLUDGE LANDSLIDE MONSTER IS AS SCARY AS IT SOUNDS – Video footage has just been released of last week’s dam burst/toxic sludge flood in Brumadinho, Brazil and it’s as surreal and frightening as imagined.  Although not super fast, it moves across the land devouring everything in its path with a brisk yet relaxed paced.  The mass of water, mud and toxic sludge is massive and one can only imagine the shock that was going on in the minds of the drivers of the vehicles – seen in the video – that were racing to get out of the way.  As of last count, the disaster had taken 110 lives with over 200 people still missing.  Authorities are still investigating, but it is believed that liquefaction of the dam was the cause of the collapse and that it is similar to previous dam collapses seen in other mines in Brazil.  Multiple people have been arrested for safety violations and Vale SA – the owner of the mine and the retention pond and dam – will probably face more consequences over their lack of safety preparation.  (bbc.com)

MEANWHILE IN VENEZUELA, MADURO IS STILL HOLDING ON TO POWER AND THE SHIT SHOW IS GROWING – Say what you want about dumbass Maduro, but he’s pretty good at holding on to power.  Despite all the hemming and hawing by the global community over the opposition and Juan Guaido, Nicolas Maduro still has the military in his back pocket and is no closer to stepping down as he was before this whole mess started.  And now we wait to see what the next move is in this “spontaneous” rebellion that is in no way being propped up by the CIA and their ilk.  Because we all know the CIA and friends have NEVER EVER done anything like this in Central America and elsewhere in the world.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/25/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE CITY OF EL PASO IS REALLY PUSHING TO IMPROVE THE NORTHEAST.  YOU CAN’T SAY THEY AREN’T TRYING – Northeast El Paso has unfairly had a negative stigma for a long time.  But the city government and investors are really trying hard to improve the image and economic potential of Northeast El Paso.  From Paul Foster’s planned super development to the mixed-use plans for the Northpark Mall lot to the planned renovation of the Cohen Stadium zone; it’s looking like Northeast El Paso will finally get some love in the future.  And the city is even holding a city council meeting in Northeast El Paso to try and engage with the people in the area and get some feedback on these future plans.  You can’t say the city isn’t trying to make Northeast El Paso better.  (cbs4local.com)

IT’S CHILE FEST TIME AT NMSU!!!! – It’s that time of the year again.  New Mexico State is holding their annual New Mexico Chile Conference February 4 – 5.  As always,, the 2019 conference will be hosted by New Mexico State’s Chile Pepper Institute and registration is now open for the public.  NMSU is one of the top agricultural universities in the world and is one of the world’s top organizations for chile pepper research.  So if you love chile and all things chile-related, then be sure to check out the presentations, booths and more at 2019 CHILE FEST!!!!!   You must pay for the whole seat, BUT YOU’LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!!!! (elpasoheraldpost.com)

AS LONG AS RED T. HAWK DOESN’T USURP OUR BELOVED AMIGO MAN, I WELCOME HER WITH OPEN ARMS – El Paso International Airport has a new mascot; a tough, ex-fighter pilot Red Tailed Hawk that will encourage girls and boys to pursue science related fields.  Coincidentally her name just happens to be Red T. Hawk and, like her brethren, is a native to the region.  This mascot looks pretty cool and we welcome her into the pantheon of El Paso area mascots that include Amigo Man, Paydirt Pete, Bowie High Bear, El Paso High Tiger, Austin High Panther and Kiki La Kobra.  We hope this is the start of an amazing trend where every random organization and government department starts getting mascots until we are flooded by large, cute and cuddly spokespersons like in Japan.  Also of note is that Red T. Hawk is female and brings some much needed estrogen into the male-heavy mascot realm.  God speed, Red T. Hawk.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

VENEZUELA HAS UPPED THE ANTE ON ITS CURRENT CRISIS AND NOW WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF A CIVIL WAR.  NICOLAS MADURO IS NOT VERY GOOD AT LEADERSHIP – It was bound to happen and now Maduro has pissed off so many of his country’s citizens that protests have grown to such a level that a new leader has emerged to unite the opposition and claim to be the “real president”.  In fact, opposition leader Juan Guaido has become so popular that foreign governments, including the United States, have gone so far and acknowledged him as de facto ruler according to the tea leaves that are currently being used as a constitution in Venezuela.  Maduro still has the backing of the military and certain countries with veto power and “mercenary” capabilities – so this is far from over.  But as it stands, a civil war might just erupt in this most unstable of regions.  Maybe Maduro can come up with another farcical election and dig up the corpse of Hugo Chavez to save him from his self-made mess.  (bbc.com)

THE HIGHEST QUALITY PICTURES OF ULTIMA THULE HAVE ARRIVED AND IT STILL LOOKS LIKE A SNOWMAN – The New Horizons spacecraft has been transmitting data since it passed Ultima Thule on the outer edges of the Solar System back on New Year’s Day.  And now scientists have the most detailed picture ever of the unique Kuiper Belt dual orb.  As expected, the object still looks like a snowman missing its face.  Though we only have one side of the object, so it’s still possible the other side features a delightful face made of random objects and a carrot nose.  So if you are a snow man aficionado and are ever in the Kuiper Belt region of the Solar System, be sure and visit Ultima Thule the Snowman.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

DONALD TRUMP BLINKED AND NOW THE MCCONNELL/TRUMP SHUTDOWN IS OVER AND HE STILL DOESN’T HAVE HIS WORTHLESS FUCKING WALL.  LET’S SEE IF HE HAS ANOTHER TODDLER TANTRUM WITH NANCY PELOSI AND STARTS ANOTHER SHUTDOWN WITH EVEN LESS LEVERAGE AS BEFORE – It happened, Donald Trump finally gave in to public pressure and the Democrats stood their ground and prevented the idiot in the White House from using threats to hijack the legislative branch.  Donald Trump (with tail between his legs) opened up the government after more than a month by signing off on temporary funding to re-open the government for at least another 3 weeks.  Though, it should be noted, he has kept on making his bullshit immigrant propaganda and threatening to shutdown the government again if he doesn’t get his stupid wall.  Donald Trump has even less leverage now and his remarks from the past few days show that he is still taking responsibility for any future shutdowns or borderline dictatorial national emergency declarations.  The wall is a stupid waste of money and it’s good to see the Democrats – and some Republicans – stand up to the use of a shutdown as a bargaining tool to force things on the legislative branch of the government.   Let’s see if idiot Trump is willing to start the McConnell/Trump Shutdown:  Part 2.  (reuters.com)

Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – 01/18/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

MAYBE IT’S ABOUT TIME THE EL PASO COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE STARTS CRACKING DOWN ON IDIOTS WHO LET THEIR OVERGROWN DOGS RUN AROUND IN THE STREET IN THE LOWER VALLEY – The Licon Dairy petting zoo has reopened, but it was a somber scene after the vicious dog attack that left many animals dead earlier this week.  The Licon Dairy is well known for its amazing asadero cheeses and also for the petting zoo that is located at their farm/store in San Elizario.  The generally tranquil life of the farm animals was shattered when two large dogs entered the Licon Dairy farm and attacked and killed 10 animals including goats, sheep, llamas and a swan.  Idiots in San Elizario and the rest of the Lower Vahlley have been letting their large dogs loose on the street for years and it’s about time that the authorities cracked down on these irresponsible morons.  It’s sort of funny, if not stupid, when people let small dogs like Chihuahuas or terriers out in the street.  But it is completely despicable and abhorrent when dumbasses let large dogs like German Shepherds and pit bulls out in the street.  This time it was poor, defenseless animals in a petting zoo but next time it could be a small child that is killed by dogs.  Let’s hope the authorities finally do something to stop the idiots in San Elizario who don’t give a damn about proper dog ownership.  And please support the Licon Dairy by visiting their reopened shop and petting zoo, and don’t forget to buy some asaderos while you are there.  (cbs4local.com)

GOODBYE, SANDMAN – A beloved local artist passed away this week, but his art and legacy will live on in the hearts and minds of all who enjoyed his work.  Alberto “Sandman” Avila is best known as the man behind most of the sand art on the sidewalks and medians throughout El Paso.  You might not have known his name, but if you have ever seen the random sand pictures on the sidewalks while driving around the city then you are familiar with his work.  And if you ever saw a man shaping piles of sand with a broom on one of the medians in the city, then you just happened to see the Sandman in his prime at work.  He lost his battle with cancer but he will always be remembered in the city by those that appreciate art and free expression.  Rest in peace, Sandman.  (cbs4local.com)

DID YOU KNOW EL PASO HAS PRODUCED SAINTS?  THANKS TO THE EL PASO HERALD POST NOW I KNOW THE STORY OF SAINT PEDRO DE JESUS MALDONADO LUCERO – The often overlooked history of El Paso and the Greater Mogollon region is very interesting and we can always count on the El Paso Herald Post and Steven Cottingham for great stories.  Saint Pedro De Jesus Maldonado Lucero – or Saint Peter Of Jesus Maldonado for short – was born in Chihuahua in 1892 and made his way to El Paso during the Mexican Revolution to finish his studies to become a priest.  He worked as a priest in El Paso and throughout Mexico and used the city as his base during times of religious persecution in Mexico.  He was ultimately tortured and killed by authorities in Chihuahua after one of his missionary trips into Mexico from El Paso and he was remembered as a martyr.  He was ultimately canonized by Pope John Paul II and is considered the patron saint of the Diocese of El Paso among other honors.  Kudos, El Paso Herald Post, for making history come alive.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

EVEN BY BREXIT STANDARDS, THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A HUMILIATING DEFEAT FOR THERESA MAY AND THE IDIOTS THAT THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR BRITAIN TO LEAVE THE EUROPEAN UNION AND SHRINK THEIR ECONOMY AND INTERNATIONAL BARGAINING POWER – Prime Minister Theresa May has been tasked with delivering a clean break for Britain from the European Union once the Brexit deadline is reached in March.  Unfortunately, Britain has no real bargaining power and their demand that they get all of the benefits of being in the European Union without actually having to play by the European rules is laughable at best.  Seriously, that’s the plan that the idiots who wanted Brexit want from Europe – as if Europe would just give them all of that for no apparent reason.  Naturally, the deal that Theresa May was able to negotiate sort of sucks ass and parliament voted it down by a stunning 432 votes to 202.  So now Britain finds itself staring down the barrel of a no-deal Brexit by the March deadline that will see Britain out of the European Union with no benefits and having to get in line with all the other countries in the world to set up trade deals and treaties with the EU.  So now Britain finds itself bracing for a no-deal Brexit and hoping that Theresa May can get some concessions from the EU on a new deal even though she has no leverage whatsoever.  They can also ask for another referendum and hope that this time the intelligent people in Britain vote to stay in the EU and that stupid, xenophobic dumbasses stay home and don’t get involved with shit that they don’t understand.  (bbc.com)

AT LEAST THE PEOPLE OF DR CONGO DIDN’T VOTE FOR EBOLA AS PRESIDENT.  THOUGH EBOLA WOULD PROBABLY BE A BETTER LEADER THAN ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVE RUN THE COUNTRY INTO THE GROUND – Despite the conflicts, Ebola and general corruption; Democratic Republic of Congo had its first democratic elections in a long time last week (with obvious controversial results).  The winner of the election was Felix Tshisekedi who won with only 38.5% and who is being accused by his closest rival for election fraud.  The allegations are not entirely unwarranted and many observers say that there are inconsistencies in the voting.  Even the African Union is urging caution and asking the courts not to approve the results.  In the long run, none of this will make any difference as DR Congo will either explode with Ebola or just spontaneously combust sometime in 2019.  DR Congo has A LOT of problems and the country should probably just be broken up into smaller countries because the current situation makes no sense at all.  (bbc.com)

THE BORDER IS SUCH A CRISIS ZONE THAT THE EL PASO SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT IS FOCUSING ON PECAN THIEVES!  YES, PECAN THIEVES!  THE TRUE MASTERMINDS OF THE BIG, BAD “BORDER CRISIS” – Donald Trump and his vile racist cronies are horrible human beings that make up bullshit stories in order to stoke their base with shameless fear mongering.  Perhaps the most vile of their moves is to create this garbage narrative that there is a crisis in the border and that all the border communities in America are war zones.  Even idiot Republicans in Austin are parroting this bullshit and they actually live in the state and can go down to any border community to see that this is all fear mongering.  For proof that this is bullshit, please note that the El Paso Sheriff’s Office just sent out a news release about pecan thieves.  Things are so unassuming on the border that the sheriff’s office just spent time and effort to talk about pecan thieves taking pecans from the trees in local pecan orchards.  FUCKING PECAN THIEVES!  Unless the border crisis involves pecan robberies, Donald Trump is just speaking out of his ass and making up shit about a part of the country he knows nothing about.  Fuck Donald Trump and all his cult members for disrespecting El Paso and all the border communities in the country.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/11/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

UTEP HAS BEEN DECLARED A TOP TIER RESEARCH UNIVERSITY!  HOORAY!!  MAYBE THEY CAN RESEARCH HOW TO HAVE A DECENT FOOTBALL TEAM. ZING! – Congratulations to UTEP for attaining a R1 designation in the Carnegie Classification of Institutions of Higher Education.  The designation is only attained by the top tier of universities that make up the top 4.5% of the nation’s schools.  Kudos to UTEP for focusing on the important things in college like education and learning and not blowing all their money on sports and other random nonsense.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE TORNILLO DETENTION CENTER/INTERNMENT CAMP IS FINALLY CLOSING.  GOOD RIDDANCE AND NOW WE HOPE THAT THE MORON’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS POLITICAL STUNT FOLLOW THE CAMP’S LEAD AND SIMPLY DISAPPEAR – According to U.S. Representative Will Hurd, the migrant youth detention center/internment camp/disgusting political showcase is finally closing and being removed from Tornillo.  Ever since Donald Trump decided to attack migrant children, the center was used to house unaccompanied minors waiting to be reunified with family in the country.  Most of these kids will now go to more stable shelters throughout the country that normally handle these situations and will soon be reunited with their families as they await their day in court.  And the disastrous Tornillo Camp is just another example of the shitshow that Donald Trump creates when he tries to fix things with new ideas that are infinitely worse than what is currently being done.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PAXTON IS EITHER A FUCKING MORON OR A RACIST SACK OF SHIT WHO PULLS FAKE STATISTICS OUT OF HIS ASS IN ORDER TO APPEASE HIS MASTER DONALD TRUMP – In a brazen attack on El Paso and its people, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton made the amazingly ignorant statement that the border wall in El Paso helped lower crime in a once “lawless” city.  The truth is that no statistics back that claim up and some stats even show the opposite happening with crime rising slightly in the years after the wall went up about a decade ago.  To make up shit and say that El Paso was a violent place before the idiotic border wall went up is just a vile lie that is laced with racism and sycophantic love for Donald Trump.  Just look at the stats!  There are no statistics that show that crime was high before the wall.  Hell, crime has been down since the 1980s and has remained at the lowest levels in the state since then.  Even the local media – which normally supports stupid conservative talking points and bends the knee to their conservative corporate masters – went out of their way to fact check this dumbass fucker.  When KFOX and the El Paso Times take time off from their busy schedule of spouting right wing idiocy to correct you, you know that the comment was utter bullshit.  In closing, fuck off Ken Paxton.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WE ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE END OF ONE OF THE DUMBEST CONFLICTS IN A WORLD FILLED WITH DUMB CONFLICTS – After decades of fighting between the Greek region and the new nation over the right to use “Macedonia”, it looks like the conflict between the areas with the same name will finally be resolved.  Macedonia’s parliament (the country, not the region) has narrowly approved a constitutional amendment by the necessary 2/3 majority to rename itself as the Republic of North Macedonia.  The Greek parliament still has to approve the deal that was proposed by Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and his Macedonian – correction, North Macedonian – counterpart Zoran Zaev.  People on both sides are still bitching and complaining over the name and taking things to scary levels, but overall it looks like it will all be approved and this 27 year long pissing match over a name will finally end.  This will hopefully end Greece’s decades long cock block of “North Macedonia” and they will finally be able to join NATO and the EU.  Crazy people on both sides with nothing better to do will still debate random things like the actual birthplace of Alexander the Great.  But as long as they don’t kill each other or hurt each other physically this compromise will be considered a great success.  Zeno The Fox would be proud.  (bbc.com)

SOMETIMES TWITTER CAN BE A VALUABLE TOOL AND USED FOR POSITIVE CHANGE AND TO SAVE LIVES.  BUT THE OTHER 99% OF THE TIME IT’S JUST AN OUTLET FOR VILE RACISTS TO SAY HORRIBLE THINGS – Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun is the 18-year old Saudi girl that made international headlines this week after escaping her family while in Kuwait and then being trapped in Thailand while attempting to get to Australia in an asylum bid.  Her desperate cries for help via Twitter, while trapped in a Bangkok airport hotel room, attracted so much attention that multiple governments got involved to help her leave Thailand and seek asylum.  In a matter of days she went from having only 24 followers to thousands of followers that all helped her get her message out to the world.  For an excellent summary, check out the BBC’s excellent timeline of events that follows her entire ordeal from the first tweet to the tense moments where it looked like authorities in Thailand would send her back to her family and a possible death sentence for renouncing Islam.  Truly riveting stuff.  If it weren’t for Twitter, she would probably be dead – so who says Twitter can’t be used for the forces of good?  (bbc.com)

WHEN DOGS LEARN TO USE GUNS THEY WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE KILLING MACHINE AND WILL RULE THE WORLD.  OUR TIME IS UP! –In an absurdly tragic story out of Mississippi, a former LSU football player was shot in the leg by his dog and had to have the wounded leg amputated.  Although it sounds like a crazy drunk hunting story, it does appear that his dog accidentally shot him.  According to his friends, Matt Branch left his loaded shotgun on the bed of his truck when Tito the dog jumped in the truck and accidentally stepped on the trigger causing the gun to fire through the side of the truck and hitting his leg.  No word if Tito has already been questioned by police.  On a side note, check out the over-the-top graphic which might have been created by the KDBC graphic department on a bender – a foreboding LSU logo looks on as a shadowy picture of a man hunting with his dog fills the screen.  It’s practically the promo image to a cheesy Netflix show.  Even a caricature of a dog shooting a guy with a machine gun would have been less melodramatic.  (cbs4local.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/28/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S A TREE AND A RANDOM COLOR VERSUS PANTHERS IN A HIGH NOON SHOWDOWN AT THE SUN BOWL – As we say goodbye to 2018, we have the final major event on El Paso’s calendar coming up on New Year’s Eve ……. the Sun Bowl.  This year the Stanford Cardinal takes on the Pittsburgh Panthers in a contest that promises to be quite entertaining.  So go out and get your ticket and let’s sell out the Sun Bowl.  This is one of the main showcase events for the Greater Mogollon land and it’s always cool to see the Sun Bowl filled up for a global audience.  And if you are a gambler, my pick is Stanford.  In a basic mascot analysis, a panther would kick a color’s ass – Stanford’s nickname is cardinal the color as opposed to cardinal the bird.  But Stanford’s unofficial mascot is a crazy tree with googly eyes and you just can never underestimate a crazy tree – bet all your money on the team with a crazy tree.  (ktsm.com)

KUDOS TO THE ANNUNCIATION HOUSE AND OTHER LOCAL CHARITIES FOR STEPPING UP IN HOUSING CENTRAL AMERICAN IMMIGRANTS SHAMELESSLY DROPPED OFF IN EL PASO – As most people already know, ICE and the other tone deaf morons in the government decided that the best Christmas gift they could give Central American refugees would be to drop them off in the middle of downtown El Paso with no warning and let them fend for themselves in the bus station.  Thankfully, El Paso and its countless charities and concerned citizens banded together to get these poor people a warm meal, a roof over their heads and a chance to travel to their loved ones throughout the U.S.  Annunciation House has really stepped up in this situation and the El Paso Community Foundation has done its share with a generous donation of $40,00 to them.  Kudos to El Paso for standing up to Trump and Company’s vile attempt at causing a crisis in El Paso by leaving thousands of migrants on the streets without warning.  Unlike other cities, El Paso isn’t filled with racist shitheads and the city handled this with compassion and composure.  There were a few sour points, but overall the community’s response was commendable.   So keep the good vibes going by donating whatever you can to the Paso Del Norte area organizations doing good work during these hard times.  (cbs4local.com)

SNOWMAGGEDON 2018 (DECEMBER EDITION) – Snow is predicted throughout the Paso Del Norte area starting today and, as always, it’s time for the annual tradition of people acting like they’ve never seen snow before even though it snows every year here.  So be careful out there because it’s going to get cold and icy.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

KRAKATAU ERUPTED AGAIN.  YES, THAT KRAKATAU – Last weekend, Anak Krakatau in Indonesia had a rather large eruption that caused a massive collapse of land into the ocean that created a tsunami that killed hundreds of people in the surrounding coastal areas.  If the name Krakatau sounds familiar it’s because it was the site of a massive eruption in the 19th century that was heard thousands of miles away and that ejected so much debris into the atmosphere that it altered climate patterns GLOBALLY for years to come.  This volcano is Anak Krakatau (Child of Krakatau) and is on top of what once was Krakatau.  The alert level has been raised in the area and there is still a chance of a large eruption.  Though the odds of a massive 19th century-size eruption are low, it is still possible that Anak Krakatau is not done yet.  Be safe, Indonesia.  (bbc.com)

ULTIMA THULE SOUNDS LIKE A HEAVY METAL BAND.  MAYBE NASA WILL DISCOVER HEAVY METAL IN SPACE! – NASA’S New Horizons spacecraft made headlines when it photographed Pluto and took data from the solar system orb and now it has gone even further.  On New Year’s Day, New Horizons will make history when it photographs and collects data on Ultima Thule, a Kuiper Belt object that is billions of miles from Earth.  If all goes to plan, the spacecraft will speed by Ultima Thule and take pictures and collect data and then turn it’s transmitter to Earth where it will send the data at a snail’s pace over the next few years.  This will be the farthest object ever visited by an Earth-based spacecraft and is an amazing feat of engineering and scientific know-how.  And it will definitely inspire many rock bands in the years to come to name themselves after some variation of UTLIMA THULE.  (apnews.com)

GOODBYE, 2018! – 2018 has come to an end and we now welcome 2019 with open arms.  Like most years, 2018 was a bittersweet year with ups and downs that we sadly leave in the rear-view mirror.  But now we welcome 2019 and the hopes of something better in the year ahead.  If you are in the area, make sure to bring in the New Year in Las Cruces for the annual Chile Drop.  It’s a cool event that keeps on getting bigger and better every year and is the de facto New Year’s Eve focal point for the Greater Mogollon land.  Happy New Year, everybody!  (Wikipedia.org)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/21/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

LET’S FIND THE FUCKER THAT BURNED DOWN THAT MOBILE HOME IN SUNLAND PARK AND KILLED A LITTLE GIRL – Arson is suspected in the case of the mobile home fire in Sunland Park that killed 8-year old Marisa Munoz.  The arsonist/murderer is yet to be caught but authorities are on the hunt.  So if you have any information on this case, please call the local authorities or Crime Stoppers.  Let’s catch this bastard.  (cbs4local.com)

IN THEIR DEFENSE, HOMELAND SECURITY DOESN’T KILL ALL THE CHILDREN THAT COME THROUGH THE BORDER – Kudos to the Customs and Border Protection Officers at the Paso Del Norte Bridge for saving the life of an 11-month old Guatemalan child at the bridge last week.  The young girl was choking after being fed by her mother and the quick acting officers managed to perform the Heimlich maneuver and save her life.  This comes on the heels of news that a 7-year old girl in Border Patrol custody died from health complications after reaching the U.S. at Antelope Wells and being transported to Lordsburg.  Though to be fair, anybody having a major medical emergency in Lordsburg will have a hard time surviving since the nearest trauma center is in El Paso.  But refugee children should at least get a basic medical check when they arrive at the border to make sure something like this doesn’t happen, one dead child is way too many.  (cbs4local.com)

WESTSTAR TOWER WATCH (END OF 2018 EDITION) – WestStar Tower will one day be the tallest building in El Paso and construction is looking to ramp up in 2019.  The building at Hunt Plaza will be 313 Feet and 6 inches tall and will house the headquarters for WestStar Bank.  The site clearing and foundation work is coming along nicely and we will soon be seeing more vertical elements going up in the coming months.  Dowtown El Paso is growing and sometime in 2020 the skyline will change dramatically once the tower is completed.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHO KNEW LAWS THAT ENCOURAGE SLAVE LABOUR WOULD BE SO UNPOPULAR?  SOMEBODY SHOULD TELL THE FASCIST GOVERNMENT IN HUNGARY ABOUT HOW SLAVE LABOUR IS BAD – The right-wing, fascist, nut job leadership in Hungary has done it again and passed another stupid law.  This time, however, the law fucks over the majority of the working class in the country and the people don’t like it.  Thousands of people across Hungary have taken to the streets to protest the Fidesz party’s tribute to corporate welfare – the overtime “slave law”.  Among other things, the law allows employers to demand 400 hours of overtime a year (up from 250 hours a year) and lets companies “hold” the payment for this overtime for up to 3 years.  Because everyone knows that money-making corporations need the most welfare from the government to survive.  The law was pushed by Prime Minister Orban and President Ader whose party is also pushing a law to create special courts completely controlled by the powers that be – not fascist at all.  So even though the majority of the people are against this and visibly angry at the government, the right wing idiots in the government are blaming George Soros and some stupid random conspiracy theories for the protests.  Right wing morons around the world are all the same,  George Soros is apparently the boogey man that can appear all over the world and give money to protestors that are asking for – GASP – basic human rights.  (bbc.com)

IDIOT MAN-CHILD THROWS TEMPER TANTRUM OVER POINTLESS WALL AND ENDS UP SHUTTING DOWN GOVERNMENT AND COSTING MANY THEIR LIVELIHOOD – It’s official, the idiot Donald Trump is going to make his racist monument border wall the hill that he dies on.  After agreeing to a Republican/Democrat compromise to keep the government funded for a few months, Donald Trump decided at the last minute that he wouldn’t sign off on it because some right wing idiots on TV told him not to do it unless it included billions of dollars for a stupid wall.  Let’s ignore for a minute that illegal immigrants will still be able to come over on boats, planes and expired visas regardless of how big the wall is.  But wasting billions of dollars for a stupid vanity project is just irresponsible and criminal in today’s economic climate.  But Trump’s base – racist morons who don’t live near the border and who have never even seen the border – are more than happy to support Trump to fulfill their racist fantasies in the guise of “national security”.  So once more, the idiot Donald Trump has made a shit show of the government and now even the stock market is collapsing.  Well done, Donald Trump.  It bears repeating, Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (apnews.com)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! – Christmas is coming up next week and I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and good vibes this holiday season from me and the rest of the Simple Minded family.  We come off a bit rough around the edges sometimes but we just want everyone to be happy and live in a world that isn’t horrible.  In uplifting holiday news, today we found out a minor Christmas miracle occurred in England when LadBaby’s spoof song, “We Built This City … On Sausage Rolls”, claimed the Christmas number one spot on the singles sales chart.  For those that don’t know, the battle for the number one song at Christmas is a time-honored tradition in England and it is quite remarkable for a spoof charity single by an internet star to reach the top spot.  And it’s all for charity, so everyone’s a winner.  Merry Christmas, one and all.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/14/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AND SO, THE CITY OF EL PASO BEGINS ITS QUIXOTIC QUEST TO IMPROVE BRIDGE CROSSING TIMES AT THE BORDER. AS LONG AS THE BABY HUEY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IS IN CHARGE OF BRIDGE CHECKS, NOT MUCH WILL PROBABLY GET DONE – The City of El Paso is pledging more than $30 million on a plan to improve crossing times and efficiency on the international bridges that connect El Paso and Juarez. There are no real details on what exact projects will be done at the bridges, but at least they’re trying to make things better. Currently the city has been paying for extra overtime for federal bridge staff but the results of that have been mixed. Maybe if they build more bridges or add lanes that will at least add more capacity, but the core issue of the idiot Baby Huey government getting in the way will be the main source of delays in crossing. Although the local economy would benefit exponentially from more efficient bridge operations and faster crossing times, the feds will just complain about how it is more important to protect ‘Murica’ from the ‘drigs’ and ‘terists’ and that’s why they have to poke their ass on the inspections. And how else will the Baby Huey secret police at the border get tons of overtime for just standing around and doing jack shit? It would be nice if the local government could take matters into its own hands, but morons at the federal level – both in D.C. and Mexico City – will always have the final say on border crossings. (cbs4local.com)

PARTS OF MONTANA VISTA ARE FINALLY GETTING SEWER SERVICE. HOORAY! MAYBE NOW MONTANA VISTA CAN INCORPORATE AND TRY TO MOVE FORWARD WITH MORE INFRASTRUCTURE PROJECTS – The Texas Water Development Board has approved over $12 million to be used in the community of Montana Vista to bring sewer service to over 800 residences in the area. The funds will come from the Economically Distressed Areas program and is a continuing step to get the infrastructure in Montana Vista up to livable standards. More work is needed, obviously, but our local representatives are working hard to get more funding for these economically distressed areas both here in the region and in the rest of the state. And with all this advancement, maybe the residents of Montana Vista will one day band together to incorporate into a city and bring more development to their community. They can either follow the path of San Elizario or choose to be become Chaparral 2. (elpasoheraldpost.com)

LUMINARIAS ON SCENIC DRIVE AND KHALID CLAUS, AARON JONES CLAUS & ALVIN JONES CLAUS DELIVERING PRESENTS. IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS! – Christmas is arriving in the desert and, though it’s been pretty warm, we are in the midst of winter and the holiday season. Holiday events are popping up around the Mogollon region, but the annual Navidad de La Fe Luminarias on Scenic Drive is one of the more beautiful events and it’s happening this weekend. And kudos to Khalid, Aaron Jones and Alvin Jones for donating toys to Ernesto Serna School (Khalid) and East Point Elementary (Jones Brothers). For a second straight year Khalid even delivered the toys personally, so extra kudos for him. Other local celebrities now have to step up and donate even more toys to children! In addition, countless local charities are accepting donations this holiday season to help those in need throughout the region. So make your own Christmas magic and help as much as you can this year – you’ve got a few weeks left. (elpasoheraldpost.com/cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

VENEZUELA HAS DONE THE IMPOSSIBLE AND THEIR ANNUAL INFLATION RATE HAS GONE UP BY MORE THAN ONE MILLION PERCENT. NEXT YEAR, PRESIDENT NICOLAS MADURO HOPES TO OUTDO HIMSELF AND CONTINUE TO DESTROY THE ECONOMY SO THAT THE ANNUAL INFLATION RATE CAN GO UP BY ONE MILLION BILLION PERCENT! – In case you were wondering, Venezuela is still a disaster with no end in sight. Inflation continues to rise and people are leaving the country in droves in search of a better life. This year inflation went up by over one million percent and the International Monetary Fund expects inflation next year to rise by 10 million percent! Venezuela is truly fucked and the only solution is for President Nicolas Maduro to dig up the corpse of Hugo Chavez and sodomize it on national television while he puts a gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger. Even then, the inflation rate will only go down to thousand percent range depending on who takes over. Much like Zimbabwe, the government is incompetent enough to keep this going for years and simply printing more currency in the hopes that magic fairies and unicorns will appear and fix everything. So even though most people in Venezuela have millions in local currency, those millions are worth a few dollars in the real world and basic goods in the black market are priced out of the range of most people. Venezuela, we hardly knew ye. (reuters.com)

TRY NEW JOHNSON & JOHNSON BABY POWDER. NOW WITH ASBESTOS TO MAKE YOUR BABY FIREPROOF! – A report from Reuters revealed newly released internal documents from Johnson & Johnson that showed that trace amounts of asbestos have been found in their iconic talcum powder for years. The news has caused the company to get hammered on Wall Street and the lawsuits that were pending against the company have now gathered more steam. Although there is no hard scientific evidence that these trace amounts of asbestos in their talc caused cancer, the fact that they hid this information from consumers and regulators is very damning for the company. On the bright side, if you want to fireproof your house all you need to do is cover it in baby powder. (reuters.com)

MEANWHILE IN THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO, EBOLA KEEPS GOING STRONG – The latest report from the World Health Organization shows that the spread of Ebola in Northeast DR Congo continues to grow and has reached some larger cities. Though the rate that it is spreading is not too fast, Ebola is very dangerous and not the type of disease you want out in the open. The WHO is working hard with local authorities to contain this epidemic, but rough conditions in the region are making this prospect very hard. So although it’s a slow burn, this thing still has the potential to go to neighboring areas and cause even bigger problems in the future. At least there’s no asbestos in the Ebola, so we got that working in our favor. (arstechnica.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/07/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

LET’S ALL WELCOME CURACUBBY TO EL PASO – Another tech firm has decided to expand into ElPaso and it really is looking like there will be a tech scene in Downtown ElPaso.  The latest firm to enter the market is Curacubby, which to my extreme disappointment does not make computer software designed to match pediatricians with baby bears.  Curacubby is – in fact – a tech company that runs an online management system for schools and care providers that handles everything from enrollment to billing. The company is currently hiring and hopes to fill various positions with local talent.  So if you’ve ever wanted to work for a tech startup, now is your chance – and you don’t even have to move to Silicon Valley!  Kudos to the local city governments, the Borderplex Alliance and everyone else who is working behind the scenes to make deals like this happen.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ANOTHER ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR RON STALLWORTH. THIS IS BECOMING A COMMON OCCURRENCE – The accolades just keep on coming for BlacKKKlansman, the movie based on the book by local legend Ron Stallworth.  This week the film was nominated for multiple Golden Globes and with awards season upon us the accolades should just keep rolling in. Both the movie and book recount Ron Stallworth’s time in law enforcement in Colorado and the time he spent undercover as a member of the Ku Klux Klan.  Which was all the more dangerous and absurd because Ron Stallworth is black. Ron Stallworth is a great El Pasoan and it’s good to see his story get a much deserved international audience. It’s looking like we’ll be seeing BlacKKKlansman mentioned multiple times when Academy Award nominations are announced.  (cbs4local.com)

SO WHAT’S THE PUNISHMENT FOR GETTING DRUNK AND KILLING SOMEONE?  SIX MONTHS IN JAIL AND PROBATION.  EL PASO JURIES ARE NOT VERY GOOD AT GIVING OUT PUNISHMENTS – A verdict was reached this week in the case of Lorenzo Anchondo, who killed Xiaoyan Shi when he drunkenly went over the curb and hit a stop sign that landed on the victim’s head. An El Paso jury found him guilty of intoxication manslaughter for the offense but his “punishment” was a paltry 6 months in jail and probation.  To put that in perspective, if Lorenzo Anchondo would have had a box of kiddie porn in his car he would have gotten like 10 years in prison for that alone.  But KILLING someone only gets him a few months in jail.  Hell, even Billy Abraham got more time in PRISON and the person he killed was a drunk hobo who was crossing in the middle of the street away from the crosswalk in the dead of night. Anchondo must have been driving pretty fast to knock down a stop sign with such force that it killed someone, but I guess they only want to focus on the drinking and not the dangerous speed in a residential area.  El Paso juries are proof that common law and the 12-juror system might not be the best way to handle a legal system.  Bring on efficient European-style civil law!  (ktsm.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE DEATH CROSS IS COMING FOR YOU!  BEWARE!  BEWARE! – The financial markets have been tanking this week (who knew trade wars and piss poor management of the country could lead to volatility and horrible market conditions?) and experts predict that it’s probably going to get worse in the coming months.  The Death Cross occurs when “an index’s near-term moving average of daily closing prices falls below its long-term moving average as both averages are declining.”  And that very same phenomenon occurred on Friday like a majestic financial groundhog. This indicates that the index will fall more in the short term but any long term predictions are still up in the air. For my money, my favorite financial groundhog is the inverted yield curve and that one says we’re fucked. But fret not, as long as Americans keep making stupid purchases the markets will continue to fluctuate but remain in relatively stable territory.  If the end of year reports still show that people are buying TVs, iPhones, Netflix subscriptions, large trucks and other shit that they don’t need all will remain relatively stable.  If there is one national resource that America has in droves – it is stupidity.  And that is the real commodity that keeps the economy running.  (reuters.com)

TURNS OUT THE PLAGUE HAS BEEN A PAIN INHUMANITY’S ASS FOR FAR LONGER THAN ORIGINALLY THOUGHT – The 5,000 year old bones of a young woman found in Sweden have revealed the presence of plague according to DNA analysis.  The finding makes her the earliest known victim of the plague in humans and might explain the huge migrations and population shifts that are found throughout this time period.  The research by scientists Nicolas Rascovan and Simon Rasmussen published in the journal Cell reveals that the strain in the woman was the pneumonic plague which would have made it easier to spread from person to person in close quarters. If this spread like outbreaks that are found in Europe’s written historical record, it would have been cataclysmic to all the early civilizations around at that time and would have led to a significant paradigm shift in the history of the world.  It’s very interesting that this can be dated to the mysterious 3000 B.C. mark where many legendary figures are said to originate and where massive global change is believed to have occurred.  Plague is a bitch.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

FRANCE IS RIOTING!  IN RELATED NEWS, THE SKY IS BLUE – More people and groups around France have been emboldened by the “yellow vest” protesters and their successful anti-fuel tax demonstrations.  The discontent in France is so great that French authorities expect more protests and possible riots this weekend and have closed important venues for the next few days.   The lack of leadership for this movement makes it difficult to gauge just what their endgame is, but as long as the rich get tax breaks and the poor get shafted people will continue to protest and fight back.  Though it should be noted that these are prim and proper protesters that only do it on the weekends and go back to work during the week.  They want to change France, not destroy it completely.  But yeah, Macron is sort of fucked.  (bbc.com)