TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #1 “Lost On You” by LP

We've Finally reached the end of our list.  Now please enjoy the best song of 2016!
# 1
LP
“Lost On You”
Death Valley

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Lost On You” was a very big hit in Europe last year, but is barely starting to get traction here in the States.  American audiences aren’t exactly the most refined musical consumers in the world.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

There is no better way to end our list than with this random Pokemon screen cap that Google image search gave us when we typed in “Lost On You Sexy”.  The picture is from the famous “lost” episode of Pokemon where James uses magic or something to get huge breasts to try and win a bikini contest and then Team Rocket proceeds to body shame Misty for not looking hot in a bikini.  Yes, that episode of Pokemon REALLY DID happen and has not been officially released in America for very obvious reasons.  Not shown is Pikachu who I assume was just crying in the corner the entire episode.  Yup, this is the most absurd and best way we can end our countdown.  Lost Suggestive Pokemon Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Join us again next year when we once again countdown the top 100 songs, hopefully a little earlier than March.

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 3/26/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE BIG PONY RACE HAS FINALLY RETURNED TO SUNLAND PARK!  NOT EVEN HORSIE HERPES CAN STOP THE SUNLAND DERBY! – A year after an outbreak forced the cancellation of the race season and the 2016 Sunland Derby, the ponies came back for a renewed season and an ultra exciting 2017 Sunland Derby.  The race was won by Hence, ridden by local race hero Alfredo Juarez Jr., who managed to take the lead late and come ahead of local favorite Conquest Mo Money.  Though it would have been nice to see local horse Conquest Mo Money win the Sunland Derby, Hence ran a great race and a local jockey was a part of the victory.  Now Hence will go on to the Kentucky Derby and Sunland Park Racetrack will move on from the turmoil of last year to bigger and better things.  Good show, ponies.  (elpasoproud.com)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SOCORRO GOVERNMENT WAS BECOMING RATIONAL AND COMPETENT THEY GO AHEAD AND DO SOMETHING STUPID AND CHAOTIC FOR NO APPARENT REASON – Because of Socorro’s weirdo city rules, it is possible for city council to vote the mayor out for any random alleged impropriety.  Naturally, the Socorro government has now decided to make use of their crazy rules with hilarious results and voted to remove the mayor.  Because the current mayor, Gloria Rodriguez, allegedly used a city appointed lawyer when she was a city council representative embroiled in the equally skeevy term extension scheme, the current members of council felt she used city funds for personal gain.  To make matters worse, no mention of any city attorney or legal counsel has been made by council, so they are basically making a legal decision WITHOUT consulting a lawyer.  Now the City of Socorro will have to waste money on another election AND will have to hire an attorney to fight the upcoming legal case by the ex-mayor.  So because the Socorro city council interpreted a law without the help of a lawyer, they will have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for an election and legal fees because Gloria Rodriguez allegedly used $3,000 in services from a lawyer attained for city business.  A reprimand and a request for payment of funds would have been much cheaper AND would have actually resulted in the city making some money.  Way to be competent, City of Socorro.  You make the current batch of spineless wonders at El Paso City Hall look like geniuses in comparison.  (kvia.com)

THEY’RE FINALLY PUTTING A LINEAR PARK NEXT TO ONE OF THE CANALS IN EL PASO!  THE CITY OF EL PASO DID SOMETHING GOOD AND EFFICIENT!  THE SKY IS FALLING! – For years, many people have begged the City of El Paso to do something about the eyesore canals that criss-cross the lower valley other than just fencing them and making them even scarier and more dangerous.  Finally the city has listened to the masses and will not only clean up the canals, but will turn the surrounding areas into super long linear parks that everyone can use.  The first canal project will be part of a larger city-wide park project and will turn 3.5 miles of the Playa Drain from Ascarate to Riverside Park into a beautiful urban trail and linear park.  Eventually the urban trail will reach all the way to Capistrano Park past Ysleta High School and will hopefully be used as a model to improve ALL the canals in the city in a similar manner.  Next on our “competent city wish list” is a request to turn all the god awful ponding areas into park/ponds that can actually be used by people instead of being wasted space.  If you’re going to dig a giant fucking hole in the ground to combat perceived flooding issues, you might as well spend a few extra bucks to engineer it into a usable park as well.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

VLADIMIR PUTIN IS JUST JEALOUS OF ALEXEI NAVALNY’S GIANT BALLS OF STEEL – One of the most dangerous jobs in the world is being an anti-Putin, opposition leader in Russia.  So that makes Alexei Navalny one of the toughest men in the world.  This weekend Navalny led protests in Russia against corruption and the Russian leadership who are stealing from the people.   The protests were peaceful, but the Russian government doesn’t like it when people point out things like “corruption” and “incompetence” so they started arresting the protesters, including Navalny.  The leader is safe, for now, and this protest shows that the good people of Russia are still willing to fight for freedom and against authoritarian scumbags.  In closing, Alexei Navalny has big balls.  (bbc.com)

CANADA IS SET TO ANNOUNCE A PLAN FOR COUNTRYWIDE MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION BY 2018.  DON’T TELL THE REPUBLICANS OR THEY MIGHT BUILD A WALL WITH CANADA TO PREVENT THE “EVILS” OF MARIJUANA – Plans are underway to introduce legislation in April that will seek to legalize marijuana in Canada by 2018.  This is the logical next step in the dismantling of the horrible “war on drugs” and it’s good to see at least one country in North America be a shining beacon of liberty and progress.  It will take a long time for America to follow the lead, but if this is successful the dominoes will hopefully fall in other progressive countries in Europe and some of the non-crazy, rational states in the U.S.  This is still in the early stages, but at least they are seriously discussing this topic in Canada and being smart about the fight against illegal drugs.  And to anyone bitching about the dangers of marijuana, alcohol is waaaaaaaaaay more dangerous than weed and that doesn’t stop these so-called conservatives from pounding back a few Bud Lights like a good ol’ blue collar boy.  (cbc.ca)

DONALD TRUMP IS A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT AND NOT VERY GOOD AT “DEALMAKING” – In the ever growing list of Donald Trump failures, the idiot was unable to pass a Repbulican-created, anti-Obamacare bill in a congress that is MAJORITY Republican.  This is the equivalent of failing to give out free slices of cake at a fat camp.  The bill was utter garbage that would have made everyone unhappy, but Donald Trump still decided to try and push it through based on the strength of his “charisma” and “dealmaking”.  Although once it failed he distanced himself from his stupid bill and blamed everyone but himself for its failure – classic Donald.  Kudos to the Freedom Caucus for showing some backbone and principle and being the voting bloc in the Republican party that kept the bill from passing.  Their hearts were in the wrong place and wanted to completely destroy the program regardless of how many people died, but you have to admire them for sticking to their guns and not bowing down to Donald Trump.  At least they know the proper definition for “fiscally conservative”.  (bbc.com)

 

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #2 “Do I Ever” by Kensington

# 2
Kensington
“Do I Ever”
Control

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Kensington is a rather nice section of London.  The band Kensington is not from Kensington, or England for that matter, and is from Utrecht, Netherlands.  “Utrecht” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as “Kensington”.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

For some reason, “Do I Ever Sexy” gives us a picture of a hot girl in a sexy Scooby Doo costume.  I wasn’t even aware a sexy Scooby Doo costume was possible, but Google image search showed us the light.  Scooby Dooby Mmmmmmmm Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

Top 100 Songs of 2016 – #3 “Never Ever” by Royksopp with Susanne Sundfor

# 3
Royksopp with Susanne Sundfor
“Never Ever”

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Royksopp and Susanne Sundfor are Norwegian musicians who joined forces to create a hit song in English.  Now we need to have English musicians join forces and create a hit electropop song in Norwegian – I elect The Chemical Brothers and Adele.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Royksopp are prim and proper young chaps and are not afraid to be classy.  Are we sure they aren’t in an orchestra and not techno superstars?  Smooth Nordic Techno Model Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #4 “De La Bouche A La Taille” by Jil Is Lucky

# 4
Jil Is Lucky
“De La Bouche A La Taille”
Manon

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Manon Rheaume was the first woman to sign with an NHL team (Tampa Bay Lightning) back in 1992.  This album is probably not a concept album devoted to Manon Rheaume, but it would be a good idea for a concept album.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Bonus Trivia:  Did you know that Jil Is Lucky moonlight as Religious Tolerance Power Rangers on the side?  Theological Spandex Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #5 “It’s Just Us Now” by Sleigh Bells

# 5
Sleigh Bells
“It’s Just Us Now”
Jessica Rabbit

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Although they are in the band’s name, there is no pervasive use of sleigh bells anywhere on the song.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

The Google image search for “It’s Just Us Now Sexy” gave us this snazzy picture of Magic Mike giving us his patented ultra pelvic thrust.  Sometimes Google image search works in divine and mysterious ways.  It’s best not to question the Google algorithm, it truly knows all.  Absurd Search Result Tatumtastic Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #6 “Akhar Zaman” by Bombino

# 6
Bombino
“Akhar Zaman”
Azel

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Akhar Zaman” means “This Moment” in the Tuareg language of Tamasheq and is NOT a Star Wars character related to Admiral Gial Ackbar.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Here is Bombino looking suave with his guitar.  Tuareg Guitar Hero Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #7 “Ablaze” by School of Seven Bells

# 7
School of Seven Bells
“Ablaze”
SVIIB

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

A school with only seven bells would be very weird and consist of only like 3 periods and one random warning bell.  That school is probably in YISD and was one of Superintendent Xavier De La Torre’s “brilliant” ideas.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

School of Seven Bells was a very photogenic group from any angle.  I don’t think they were capable of taking a bad group picture.  Mythical Pick Pocketing Sexiness!

 

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

 

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #8 “Excuse Me” by Nothing But Thieves

# 8
Nothing But Thieves
“Excuse Me”
Nothing But Thieves

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Robin Hood was considered the “Prince of Thieves” according to Kevin Costner and his awesome movie from the ‘90s.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Back in 2015, K-Pop group BESTie also had a song called “Excuse Me” complete with sexy video.  How the hell did we miss this and not include it in the Simple Minded Top 100 Songs of 2015 list?  Regretful Hot Korean Girl Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #9 “Il Messia” by Salmo

# 9
Salmo with Victor Kwality and Travis Barker
“Il Messia”
Hellvisback

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Messia” is Italian for “Messiah”.  “Salmo”, however, is not Italian for “Salmon”.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Here we have Salmo looking very GQ and sassy, yet hardcore and serious.  He really cleans up well once you remove the scary skull mask.  Italian Skull Rap Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.