Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2020 – #10 “Care” by Beabadoobee

We have finally reached the Top 10 portion of the Simple Minded Top Songs list and, as always, the Top 10 songs will be honored with our expert analysis – i.e. sexy pictures and pointless commentary. Onward to the musical goodness.

# 10

Fake It Flowers





Although science has yet to prove it, it is believed that Beabadoobee is the reincarnation of Juliana Hatfield. Juliana Hatfield is still alive but using science we believe that using time travel the future soul of Juliana Hatfield traveled back in time and was reincarnated as Beabadoobee.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

1990s-Pixie-Sexiness! Beabadoobee not only sounds like a kick-ass ‘90s rocker, she looks like she just stepped out of a time warp from 1994. And considering that 1994 is one of the greatest years in human history, I have no complaints.


Support good music! Go buy this song now (at the store or digitally) or stream it on a legit source so the musicians make money! Mankind can’t live on bootlegging alone. Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.


Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2020 – #40 to #11

Our Top 100 List continues below. Same rules apply as every other year. So sit back and enjoy the list.

#. “Song” – Artist – (Album)

40. “Connect To Consume” – A. Swayze & The Ghosts – (Paid Salvation)
39. “Grange Hell (South London In D)” – Catholic Action – (Celebrated By Strangers)
38. “Maker” – Anjimile – (Giver Taker)
37. “Right Round The Clock” – Sorry – (925)
36. “Summertime” – Orville Peck – (Show Pony)
35. “Sun Queen” – Gerry Cinnamon – (The Bonny)
34. “f a m e” – Jeff Rosenstock – (No Dream)
33. “Nganga” – Neptunian Maximalism – (Eons)
32. “Do You Read Me?” – Field Music – (Making A New World)
31. “Sports!” – Dream Wife – (So When You Gonna …)
30. “Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress” – Gulch – (Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress)
29. “All That” – Sparks – (A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip …)
28. “Walking In The Snow” – Run The Jewels – (RTJ4)
27. “Kitchen Floor” – Jess Cornelius – (Distance)
26. “Kids” – Orville Peck – (Show Pony)
25. “Worth It” – Beabadoobee – (Fake It Flowers)
24. “Apparition” – Cult Loveless – (Beloved)
23. “Reigns” – IDLES – (Ultra Mono)
22. “Club Cougar” – Nadine Shah – (Kitchen Sink)
21. “Thief” – Cult Loveless – (Beloved)
20. “War Song Soldier” – Gerry Cinnamon – (The Bonny)
19. “Witness” – Catholic Action – (Celebrated By Strangers)
18. “Kill Them With Kindness” – IDLES – (Ultra Mono)
17. “LOADED” – HMLTD – (West Of Eden)
16. “Gospel For A New Century” – Yves Tumor – (Heaven To A Tortured Mind)
15. “Denk Maar Niet Aan Morgen” – Bazart
14. “Sin In My Heart” – Gulch – (Impenetrable Cerebral Fortress)
13. “Blank Slate” – HMLTD – (West Of Eden)
12. “Grounds” – IDLES – (Ultra Mono)
11. “Searching For Captain Save A Hoe” – Fantastic Negrito with E-40 – (Have You Lost Your Mind Yet?)


Check back for the rest of the list.

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2020 – #70 to #41

Our Top 100 List continues below. So sit back and enjoy.

#. “Song” – Artist – (Album)

70. “Mother Please Don’t Be Sad” – The Flaming Lips – (American Head)
69. “The Biggest Tits In History” – The Magnetic Fields – (Quickies)
68. “Jos Mulla Ei Ois Sua, Mulla Ei Ois Mitaan” – Maustetytot – (Eivat Enkelitkaan Ilman Slipia Lenna)
67. “One For The Ages” – Sparks – (A Steady Drip, Drip, Drip …)
66. “All Along The Uxbridge Road” – Chubby And The Gang – (Speed Kills)
65. “Barre” – Songhoy Blues – (Optimisme)
64. “The Bonny” – Gerry Cinnamon – (The Bonny)
63. “Ms. California” – Beach Bunny – (Honeymoon)
62. “If You Think This Is Real Life” – Blossoms – (Foolish Loving Spaces)
61. “Drive Me, Crazy” – Orville Peck – (Show Pony)
60. “Gonna Find Me A Genie With A Magic Bikini” – Melt Citizen – (Dullard EP)
59. “My Religion Is You” – The Flaming Lips – (American Head)
58. “KLK” – Arca – (KiCk i)
57. “To The Door” – HMLTD – (West Of Eden)
56. “Ruby Wand” – Sad13 – (Haunted Painting)
55. “Mikey’s Song” – HMLTD – (West Of Eden)
54. “Limelight” – Touche Amore – (Lament)
53. “Say So” – Doja Cat – (Hot Pink)
52. “Dark Days” – Gerry Cinnamon – (The Bonny)
51. “Claws” – Charli XCX – (How I’m Feeling Now)
50. “Don’t Start Now” – Dua Lipa – (Future Nostalgia)
49. “There Must Be More Than Blood” – Car Seat Headrest – (Making A Door Less Open)
48. “Pig Feet” – Denzel Curry, Terrace Martin, Daylyt, Kamasi Washington and G Perico
47. “The West Is Dead” – HMLTD – (West Of Eden)
46. “What’s In Store” – The Homesick – (The Big Exercise)
45. “Mr. Motivator” – IDLES – (Ultra Mono)
44. “Without You” – Perfume Genius – (Set My Heart On Fire Immediately)
43. “Hollywood” – LA Vision with Gigi D’Agostino
42. “Hysterical” – Sad13 – (Haunted Painting)
41. “Your Reply” – Frances Quinlan – (Likewise)


Check back for the rest of the list.

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2020 – #100 to #71

Once again, after a few delays, we bring you the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs List – our yearly analysis of the global music scene in a concise and sexy list form. Enjoy the music!

#. “Song” – Artist – (Album)

100. “Righteous” – Juice WRLD – (Legends Never Die)
99. “34 + 35” – Ariana Grande – (Positions)
98. “WAP” – Cardi B with Megan Thee Stallion
97. “En Mis Pies” – La Elite – (A 180)
96. “Kompass Zur Sonne” – In Extremo – (Kompass Zur Sonne)
95. “Donkey Long” – The Glitter Tacos – (They’re Afraid Of The Tacos)
94. “Anthems” – Charli XCX – (How I’m Feeling Now)
93. “Memento Mori” – Lamb Of God – (Lamb Of God)
92. “The Valley” – Emma Ruth Rundle & Thou – (May Our Chambers Be Full)
91. “Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd – (After Hours)
90. “Visage Pale” – Benjamin Biolay – (Grand Prix)
89. “True Romantic” – Ziemba – (True Romantic)
88. “Head & Heart” – Joel Corry with MNEK
87. “A Hero’s Death” – Fontaines D.C. – (A Hero’s Death)
86. “The Coming Of The Strange Ones” – Shabaka And The Ancestors – (We Are Sent Here By History)
85. “Under The Table” – Fiona Apple – (Fetch The Bolt Cutters)
84. “Believe” – Sparta – (Trust The River)
83. “Loading” – Central Cee
82. “Vajrabhairava: The Great Wars of Quaternary Era Against Ego” – Neptunian Maximalism – (Eons)
81. “Exile” – Taylor Swift – (Folklore)
80. “I Wonder” – Shamir – (Shamir)
79. “Ooh La La” – Run The Jewels with Greg Nice and DJ Premier – (RTJ4)
78. “Gaslighter” – The Chicks – (Gaslighter)
77. “Hey, Bus Driver!” – Tami Neilson – (CHICKABOOM!)
76. “Caution” – The Killers – (Imploding The Mirage)
75. “White Fruit” – Crackups – (Greetings From Earth)
74. “Forgotten Days” – Pallbearer – (Forgotten Days)
73. “Neon Skyline” – Andy Shauf – (The Neon Skyline)
72. “How Long?” – Fantastic Negrito – (Have You Lost Your Mind Yet?)
71. “Hex Valeria” – Melt Citizen – (Dullard EP)


Check back soon for the rests of the list.

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – December 2020 – FINALE EDITION


2020 WAS A PRETTY CRAZY YEAR.  WHAT DO YOU THINK? – I’m not a fan of dragging things out, so I’ll just come out and say it.  This will be the last Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! In its current sardonic, news-regurgitating form.  The recap-ITATION! will still pop up occasionally for other recap purposes and maybe our periodic news reviews will return some day, but for now we want to take Simple Minded Entertainment in a new direction for 2021 and focus more on “entertainment”, music, movies and other forms of time-wasting.  Who knows, you might just see an expansion of our company in a year or two.  2020 was a year for the ages and the COVID-19 pandemic is perhaps the biggest black swan/dragon king/dragon swan event that most of us will ever experience and the biggest such event since World War II.  So what better time to change course than after one of the craziest years on record.  We hope you enjoy what we have to offer in 2021 and may we all have a great new year (all 4 of you who visit this website)!  (



Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – November 2020


IT’S BEEN A PRETTY BAD MONTH FOR THE REGION WHEN IT COMES TO THE PANDEMIC.  SO KUDOS TO THE STUDENTS AT JEFFERSON HIGH/SILVA MAGNET FOR COMING UP WITH THE “#STAYPOSITIVE TO #TESTNEGATIVE” CAMPAIGN TO MOTIVATE EL PASOANS TO STOP SPREADING THE DISEASE.  I WOULD HAVE JUST COME UP WITH THE “#SHUTTHEFUCKUPANDWEARADAMNMASKYOUFIDGETYFUCKSTHATCANTSTAYAWAYFROMABARFORMORETHANTHREEMONTHS CAMPAIGN – El Paso and the Greater Mogollon region suffered through the worst of the pandemic earlier this month, but things have been looking up lately and it seems we have worked hard enough to lower the infection rate.  We are still waiting to see if the Thanksgiving holiday and the upcoming Christmas season brings a new surge, but I’m hopeful that we – as a community – are not that stupid to let this happen again.  So kudos to everyone who worked hard to get people to comply with restrictions and for everyone, like the Jefferson-Silva students, who put on a brave face to keep things positive during the worst of the pandemic so far.  Let’s do everything we can to stop the spread and not overload our hospitals.  (

AARON JONES, ALVIN JONES, KHALID, CHICO THE CHIHUAHUA AND OZZY THE BAT ARE ALL GETTING INTO THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT AND HELPING OUT PEOPLE IN NEED.  NOW IT’S YOUR TURN TO GIVE BACK TO THE COMMUNITY – Things might be a bit bleak at the moment, but many people and anthropomorphic animals are fighting the good fight and doing great things for the community.  From giving out food to the needy and collecting toys for Christmas, El Paso celebrities are going the extra mile to help the community.  So big thanks once again to Aaron Jones (go buy his cereal, it also helps charity!), Alvin Jones, Khalid, Chico The Chihuahua, Ozzy the Bat and everyone else who is donating time and money to make our community great.  Let’s just hope that Chico and Ozzy don’t sell all the toys for cocaine money.  We all know that Chico and Ozzy are El Paso’s top party animals.  (

GET WELL SOON, JUNO THE ELEPHANT – For many life-long El Pasoans, Juno the elephant has been around since they were young and is one of the earliest memories they have of the El Paso Zoo.  Juno underwent surgery to remove a malignant tumor from her mammary gland earlier this month and it appears that she is doing well.  We hope that Juno wins her fight against breast cancer and gets to brighten the lives of more El Pasoans for years to come.  Don’t forget to send your prayers and well wishes to Juno to help her pull through.  (


CONGRATULATIONS, AMERICA, YOU PICKED A COMPETENT LEADER IN JOE BIDEN INSTEAD OF A CORRUPT MORON FOR PRESIDENT.  THOUGH IT’S STILL SCARY TO KNOW THAT BECAUSE OF THE STUPID ELECTORAL COLLEGE THE VOTE MARGIN WAS NOT AS MASSIVE AS THE NATIONAL VOTE INDICATED – Even though Donald Trump continues on his toddler-like tantrum over the results of the election, Joe Biden will be the next president of the United States.  The new Biden administration is taking shape as more people are chosen for his cabinet, and other positions, and it is a breath of fresh air to see a diverse and experienced mix of individuals listed for the new administration.  After years of inexperienced white male sycophants at the head of the government, we might finally get some normalcy and efficiency back in the federal government.  We just have to survive another month and a half of Donald Trump’s tantrums and bullshit election fraud conspiracy theories.  (

GOOD NEWS, MULTIPLE COVID VACCINES ARE ON THE VERGE OF BEING APPROVED AND DISTRIBUTED.  BAD NEWS, THE SECOND WAVE IS UPON US AND VACCINES WILL NOT MAKE AN IMPACT UNTIL THE VIRUS NATURALLY DIES OFF SOMETIME IN THE MIDDLE OF 2021 – So the coronavirus pandemic is still raging on and the dreaded 2nd wave looks to have already begun.  After months of a steady infection rate in the US, there have been big increases seen already in multiple parts of the country this November – including in El Paso.  With winter approaching, it looks like the COVID-19 spread will get a lot worse before it gets better.  On the bright side, if we survive the upcoming spike things will get much better in 2021 and it might finally taper off if it follows the pattern of pandemics in the past.  Plus we now have fairly effective vaccines that will probably speed up the end of the pandemic.  We just have to keep holding on and then the “Roaring ‘20s:  Part 2” will be upon us!  (

LOOKS LIKE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS GOOD FOR A LOT MORE THAN JUST BEATING AUTISTIC CHESS MASTERS AND SERVING AS A CONVENIENT MOVIE VILLAIN – Researchers at DeepMind have used AI to predict the shape of proteins formed by amino acid chains.  This is one of the keystones of all life and scientists have spent years in the past trying to figure out the shape of different proteins.  Now with AI, the results can be predicted by powerful computers in a fraction of the time.  The results were announced as part of a protein folding competition – and yes, it is amazingly cool and nerdy that a protein folding competition exists.  The information is too complex to be explained by a smart-ass blurb on sarcastic website, so please read the full article and any other info you can get on this.  This is very, very interesting and groundbreaking stuff!  (


Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – October 2020


NICE BAIT AND SWITCH, EL PASO CHILDREN’S MUSEUM.  WHERE’S MY JETSON’S BUILDING WITH THE AIRPLANE ON THE ROOF? – The El Paso Children’s Museum had its groundbreaking ceremony this month and the building is on track to be completed by 2022.  The architects at Snohetta did a great job with the design, given the footprint and the issues with the nearby railroad track pit of doom.  I’m still disappointed that they didn’t go with the original futuristic Jetson-like design, but it looks like the kids will like it and that’s what matters for a children’s museum.  Now if Max Grossman and his butt buddy in Houston can just shove their heads up each other’s asses, we can finally get started with the downtown arena.  (

HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY, SCENIC DRIVE!  IF IT WASN’T FOR THE DAMN PANDEMIC, MANY EL PASOANS WOULD BE CELEBRATING THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION BY DRIVING UP, GETTING DRUNK, DOING DRUGS AND HAVING SEX – Scenic Drive celebrated it’s centennial this month and the City of El Paso marked the occasion with a special Scenic Sunday that included a sunrise watch on the observation area at the top of the road.  For those that don’t know, Scenic Sundays is a weekly event where they close down Scenic Drive to vehicle traffic and allow people to walk and ride their bicycles on the road every Sunday morning.  So, if you’ve never done Scenic Sundays, now you know and have something new to do on Sundays.  To think that this wonderful road started it’s life a hundred years ago when El Paso powerbrokers of the early 20th century wanted a secluded place they could drive up to and have sex with their mistresses who were impressed by the view.  100 years later, the original purpose still thrives.  Here’s to 100 more years of our beloved Scenic Drive!  (

NMSU HAS A WINE NOW!  WHAT BETTER WAY TO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO A DRUNK LOOKING MASCOT THAN BY NAMING A WINE AFTER HIM – Southern New Mexico, New Mexico State University and the surrounding region have a long history with vineyards and wine-making.  In honor of this connection, the university has partnered with Lescombes Winery to create a Cabernet Sauvignon known as Pistol Pete’s Crimson Legacy.  The wine is available at all Lescombes locations and other sites around the state – with hopefully wider distribution in the future.  The first batch of Crimson Legacy had 1,888 bottles in honor of NMSU’s founding in 1888 and Pistol Pete has already drunken half of the batch along with his good friend from UTEP – Paydirt Pete.  So go get your bottle now before they’re all gone.  (


IF A PANDEMIC WASN’T ENOUGH, NOW WE HAVE MORE EARTHQUAKES AND HURRICANES TO DEAL WITH.  MOTHER NATURE MIGHT BE A LITTLE PISSED AT HUMANITY – Natural disasters hit with a vengeance this month as not only did we have the usual hurricanes and typhoons lurking about, but we also had a major earthquake hit Turkey and Greece.  The 7.0 earthquake struck in the Aegean Sea between Turkey and Greece on October 30, with the worst hit area being Izmir in Turkey.  Multiple buildings are reported to have collapsed and the damage and casualties are projected to be quite high.  There are also multiple tropical storms churning in the Atlantic and Pacific, with record breaking Hurricane Zeta having made landfall in Louisiana this month.  There is still a month or so of hurricane-friendly conditions in the Atlantic, so we might be getting even more Greek-Alphabet storms in the coming weeks.  On the bright side, thanks to climate change more people will learn the Greek Alphabet.  (

RIOTS TO THE LEFT OF ME, RIOTS TO THE RIGHT OF ME, RIOTS EVERYWHERE – Conditions are ripe for social upheaval throughout the world and we have protests and riots occurring in many countries.  Not since, perhaps, 1968 has the world seen such motivation to change society through people power – with varying results.  The biggest upheaval this past month occurred in Nigeria where nationwide protests and riots, sparked by government corruption and police brutality, crippled the country and brought fear to the powers that be.  The protests were so successful that the government conceded on many demands and dissolved some controversial police units.  Elsewhere, electoral protests continue to gain momentum in Belarus and Kyrgyzstan over unfair and possibly fixed voting results.  And (in what seems like a broken record scenario) another American city protested over a police killing that should have never occurred.  This time the protests and unrest rocked Philadelphia.  2020 has been a wild ride and we still have a few weeks left.  (

CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC UPDATE:  AS PREDICTED BY EVERYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN, THE SECOND WAVE IS HERE – Like clockwork, the cold weather has caused people to go indoors and thus increase the spread of COVID-19.  The predicted second wave of the pandemic has begun to hit most of the Northern Hemisphere and it seems the Paso Del Norte region is at the forefront of this second wave.  Hospitals continue to fill up and the specter of lockdowns rise as more and more people continue to get sick.  The spread of COVID-19 doesn’t seem like it will stop anytime soon and more cities and regions will soon start to feel the brunt of this viral storm.  But let’s ease restrictions and help muhkonamy.  Everyone knows that small businesses are the “lifeblood” of the economy.  Small businesses are in no way glorified hobbies that amount to the insects of the financial world – no, they are VERY important.  So let everyone die so that we can have MORE irreplaceable crossfit gyms, bars and restaurants.  As we all know, human life is secondary to places that sell Bud Light Lime and White Claws.  Have a safe winter, everyone.  (

GO VOTE! – The elections are coming up and we just want to remind everyone to go vote.  But only if you are voting for Joe Biden.  Donald Trump and his fascist backers can all go fuck themselves and take their racist rhetoric to /pol, twitter or a truck stop bathroom.  I think I speak for most of society when I say that Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt and all his supporters should stay home on election day and post their racist dog whistle bullshit on Facebook.  You make more of a difference by arguing with other stupid people on Facebook than voting, it’s a Biblical fact.  (


Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – September 2020


DON’T FORGET TO BUY LOCAL.  IT’S ALWAYS BETTER TO SUPPORT LOCAL BUSINESSES, BUT IT’S ESSENTIAL TO DO IT NOW DURING THE PANDEMIC – The Better Business Bureau Paso Del Norte has started a “Buy El Paso” campaign and we would just like to echo the sentiment and make sure as many people as possible take up the cause.  The coronavirus pandemic has had a big impact on some businesses and it is times like these that we must support local businesses.  The pandemic and shutdowns won’t destroy strong businesses, but it’s important to make sure that our locally-owned businesses are strong through these tough times.  (

DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, TONS OF CULTURAL INSTITUTIONS ARE SHUT DOWN.  BUT THAT’S NOT STOPPING LAS CRUCES’ TOP MUSEUM FROM BRING CULTURE AND HISTORY TO THE MASSES – The New Mexico Farm & Ranch Heritage Museum is a jewel in the Las Cruces cultural landscape and everyone should visit it when they get the chance and they feel safe.  But if you are wisely hunkering down due to the pandemic, the museum is posting most of its collection online for the public to view.  So if you can’t (or don’t) want to go out, you can visit the virtual version of the Farm & Ranch Heritage Museum and learn something in the process.  Also, don’t forget to donate to the museum and other cultural organizations in the region.  The pandemic is hitting many industries pretty hard and we don’t want to lose any art and culture in the process.  (

EVEN COVID-19 CAN’T STOP THE CHIHUAHUAN DESERT – The 16th Annual Chihuahuan Desert Fiesta went virtual this year as a precaution against the coronavirus pandemic.  The festival is normally held at Franklin Mountains State Park near the El Paso Museum of Archaeology, but this year the even went online with tons of great presentations on our native Chihuahuan Desert.  One of the highlights was a virtual tour of the El Paso Zoo’s Chihuahuan Desert exhibit and all the neat stuff they have to offer.  We should all respect and know more about our native land, and the Chihuahuan Desert Education Coalition is encouraging that with the fiesta and all the outreach they do.  So please add them to your list of things to support during the pandemic.  We all need to help each other out during these tough times.  (

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST IN SEPTEMBER – This hasn’t been a good year for big cats at the El Paso Zoo.  Ivan the Amur Leopard passed away this month at the zoo after living for over 21 years, which is very old by leopard standards.  His medical conditions were exacerbated by his old age and the zoo medical staff decided to euthanize him to spare his suffering.  He is survived by a widow leopard and leopard children he sired while at the zoo.  Rest in peace, Ivan.  (


FREEDOM FOR THE REPUBLIC OF ARTSAKH – Because greed and land-grabbing know no bounds, Azerbaijan has once again decided to invade and attack the Republic of Artsakh (which should have already been recognized as an independent nation by now).  Armenia has been drawn into the conflict to protect the people – because Artsakh is mainly ethnic Armenians – and this decades long conflict sees no sign of ending peacefully.  The region is known as Nagorno-Karabakh by politically correct entities that want to sound neutral and by the Azerbaijanis who (obsessed like a creepy ex-boyfriend who just can’t let things go) want to keep the entire thing for themselves.  Artsakh should have been an independent nation after the fall of the Soviet Union in the ’90s, but a greedy neighbor just couldn’t’ resist stealing land and subjugating smaller minorities around them.  FREEDOM FOR ARTSAKH!  (

FUN WITH MONEY LAUNDERING!  TURNS OUT BIG BANKS NEVER GET PROPERLY PUNISHED FOR BREAKING THE LAW – Thousands of FinCEN files have been leaked to Buzzfeed and other journalists and the information that has been ascertained from the documents paint a picture of complicity by major banks to help drug lords, oligarchs, terrorists and other criminals in laundering money.  Banks around the world are required to submit financial documents to U.S. authorities when suspicious transactions of large amounts of money go through their system.  This is where the bulk of the FinCEN documents come from and they show that trillions of dollars (trillions with a ‘T’) have moved between banks and sketchy hands over the last two decades.  You’d think they would be able to catch criminals with this sort of information, but what’s good for the banks is good for the government apparently.  The information released is massive and requires quite a bit of reading, so please go out and read all the information you can about this massive story.  We can’t let a story like this go under the radar.  (

PEOPLE LAUGHED AT ME WHEN IS SAID THE VENUTIANS WERE THE ONES THAT WOULD GET US AND NOT THE MARTIANS.  WHO’S LAUGHING NOW? – Scientists have discovered that the chemical compound Phosphine is found in the clouds of Venus.  Phosphine is made up of one atom of phosphorus and three atoms of hydrogen and is important because it has only been found on Jupiter, Saturn, Earth and Venus.  So either Venus has secretly been a gas giant all this time or it might harbor life like on Earth.  The information and analysis is still fresh, but this might be a sign that Venus has microbes on it.  We’ll know more once Elon Musk reads the headlines and decides that he now wants to go to Venus instead of Mars like some unsupervised kid with ADD.  Onward to Venus!  (

COVID-19 UPDATE – Yup, the coronavirus is still around and no one seems to care about precautions.  More than likely, it’s going to get a lot worse this coming winter.  Stay tuned.


Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – August 2020


THE BRIDGE OF THE AMERICAS/PUENTE LIBRE MIGHT GET FUNDING FOR EXPANSION AND MODERNIZATION.  WHO SAYS THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IS COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT? – In a bit of good news for the local economy, the house passed the appropriations bill H.R. 7617 that includes $700 million for improvements on the Bridge of the Americas/Puente Libre that connects central El Paso with central Juarez.  Increasing trade traffic would be great for the area and pump much needed money into the economy.  The news was announced by Congresswoman Veronica Escobar and now the bill will go to the Senate where it will hopefully be passed and not bogged down by the majority Republican idiots in that chamber.  Maybe if we tell the Senate that the bill likes to drink beer and molest women they’ll pass it in record time.  (

TURNS OUT ALL OF SOCORRO AND THE LOWER VALLEY IS A FLOOD ZONE.  WHO WOULD HAVE KNOWN BY LOOKING AT THE FLAT LAND ALL ALONG THE RIVER THAT IT WAS PRONE TO FLOODING?  I’M GLAD THAT FEMA IS HERE TO MAKE NON-OBVIOUS MAPS – FEMA has just created a new preliminary flood map for El Paso and a bunch of the region is now in the flood zone.  This will have an impact on property values and development costs, but no real changes will occur in the areas that flood.  The valley will just keep on flooding like it always does, it’s a mystery that flat land next to the river floods.  When will the mystery be unraveled?  (

FIRST THEY START MAKING TORTILLAS, THEN THEY KILL US ALL.  THIS IS HOW TERMINATOR SHOULD HAVE REALLY STARTED – New Mexico State University has partnered with Minerva Robotics via the university’s Arrowhead Center to create a tortilla making robot.  The robot will use artificial intelligence and improved efficiencies to automate the corn tortilla production process and create gourmet tortillas that rival the homemade variety.  First the robots will replace the tortilla makers, then the robots will replace all of humanity – and it all started at NMSU!  (

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST IN AUGUST – Rudo the Lion passed away this month.  The 7 year old lion at the El Paso Zoo suffered from a neurological issue and was put down after paralysis set in.  Rest in peace, young lion.  (


THAT’S AN EXPLOSION FOR THE RECORD BOOKS.  IT’S PERHAPS THE LARGEST EXPLOSION EVER CAUSED BY GOVERNMENT INCOMPETENCE AND CORRUPTION – Earlier this month, a massive explosion rocked Beirut, Lebanon and killed over 200 people and caused thousands of injuries.  The explosion was caused when a fire ignited 2,750 tonnes of ammonium nitrate that had been stored in a warehouse at the port for over six years.  Apparently, the government was so incompetent that they kept tons of highly explosive material in an unsafe environment because they couldn’t figure out what to do with it.  The outrage has been high in the country and now it looks like most of the government will step down in disgrace over this failure of basic governance.  Hopefully, Beirut bounces back from this and Lebanon improves its government by not electing corrupt morons.  (

THE ELECTION SYSTEM IN BELARUS IS LIKE DONALD TRUMP’S WET DREAM.  THEY DON’T EVEN BOTHER COUNTING VOTES, THE GOVERNMENT JUST MAKES UP WHATEVER RESULTS THEY WANT – After widespread voting irregularities and the government’s insistence on declaring dictator Alexander Lukashenko the victor of the presidential election, the people of Belarus have taken to the streets to protest.  Tens of thousands of people have gone to the streets to fight back against the corruption and obvious voter fraud that has kept the corrupt government in power for decades.  The protests keep on growing but the ruling government is steadfast in staying in power.  Fight the good fight, people of Belarus.  (

MALI JUST HAD A COUP AND THE CLUSTERFUCK IN THAT COUNTRY JUST KEEPS GROWING – After months of opposition protests, a faction of the Mali armed forces have “arrested” President Ibrahim Boubacar Keita and forced him to resign.  The coup d’etat leaders have vowed to proceed with “democratic elections”, but nothing is off the table in bonkers African politics.  Even “democratically-elected dictators” are a possibility once the coup d’etats start up around here.  It’s like a slightly warmer Belarus.  (

AND THE COVID PANDEMIC STILL KEEPS ON GOING – While some countries have taken the health crisis seriously, some countries care more about money and the fictional muhkonamy than human lives.  So as it stands, hundreds of thousands are dead and millions are infected and the numbers keep growing.  And we still haven’t reached the second wave.  (


Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – July 2020


THE EL PASO DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY’S WORST KEPT SECRET IS FINALLY OFFICIAL.  AMAZON IS BUILDING A BIG ASS BUILDING IN EL PASO – Amazon officially announced this month that they are building a large fulfillment warehouse on the eastern edge of the city.  The project is quite large and is going up on that large lot that is bordered by Rojas, Eastlake and I-10/Gateway West.  Construction crews can currently be seen in the area almost 24/7, so Amazon means business when they say they want it up and running by 2021.  So now El Pasoans will get the chance to work a warehouse job for slightly-above menial wages as Jeff Bezos becomes the world’s first meeleeon-beeleeonaire.  Hooray!  (

EVERYBODY KNOWS THE HOTTEST PART OF EL PASO IS BUTT TOWN (THE STRIPTASTICAL STRETCH OF GATEWAY WEST BETWEEN RED PARROT AND JAGUARS).  WE DON’T NEED A FANCY SCIENTIFIC STUDY TO KNOW THAT – The city of El Paso has announced that it is collaborating with multiple local and national organizations to create a heat map of El Paso.  The group will collect data this summer to determine where the highest temperatures are found throughout the city in order to understand where people are more at risk from dangerously high temperatures.  I think the recent heatwave has shown that 100% of El Paso is really, really fucking hot in the summer – study complete!  (

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHITE SANDS MISSILE RANGE!  YOU’RE OUR FAVORITE MILITARY TESTING GROUND (AND OUR FAVORITE NON-SECRET NON-ALIEN TECHNOLOGY NON-RESEARCH CENTER WINK WINK) – White Sands base celebrated it’s 75th Anniversary this month and we salute it for the great economic and military impact it has had on the region in that time.  The military complex started as the White Sands Proving Ground on July 9, 1945 and has expanded substantially since then.  Happy Birthday!  (

THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL ISN’T GOING TO LET A PANDEMIC STOP THE MOVIES.  LIKE CLONED DINOSAURS, THEY FIND A WAY – Don’t forget to support the Plaza Classic Film Festival this summer.  They will keep the yearly fest going this year with drive-in movies and online screenings.  I’ll miss the experience of watching a classic movie in a wonderful theatre, but classic movies on drive-in screens isn’t too shabby.  As an added bonus, the movies will now be playing in different locations all around the city so you don’t have to travel far to watch some great films  That’s such a good idea that I hope they keep the traveling drive-in portion of the festival even after the pandemic is over.  (


THE PANDEMIC IS STILL GOING STRONG AND NOW WE  HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LONG TERM DAMAGE ASSOCIATED WITH THE VIRUS –  Despite some people trying to downplay the current situation for petty political reasons, the COVID-19 pandemic is still a very serious and dangerous issue for the world.  On top of the hospitalizations straining the system and the tragic deaths; we keep on getting word that for those that survive the virus there might be some long term ailments to look out for.  Recent studies and observations have found that the impact of the coronavirus includes memory loss, chronic fatigue, cognitive issues as well as organ damage.  It almost seems like the virus keeps on getting more powers the more we find out about it.  And yet some people still refuse to wear a face mask because it’s the devil or some other stupid reason of that nature.  (

LOOK EVERYBODY, DONALD TRUMP NOW HAS A SECRET POLICE THAT ABDUCTS PEOPLE FOR NO REASON.  BUT HE’S NOT A FASCIST, HE JUST DOES FASCIST THINGS BECAUSE HE LOVES AMERICA SO MUCH – Because the Justice Department is now just filled with sycophants that want to suck Donald Trump’s dick, federal agents are going around Portland and abducting people illegally on Donald Trump’s command.  The excuse is because Antifa is some sort of super terrorist group and they are “destroying” Portland.  But the real reason is because Donald Trump is a thin-skinned pussy and he just wants to act like a dictator to impress the racist morons who support him.  And now he’s even threatening to send his secret police to other cities.  So this is how freedom dies in America.  (

REMEMBER WHEN TURKEY WAS THE MODEL OF PROGRESS IN THE MIDDLE EAST?  PRESIDENT ERDOGAN REALLY DID AN AMAZING JOB OF RUNNING HIS COUNTRY TO THE GROUND – In a largely political gesture to appease his idiot Islamist followers, Erdogan has converted the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul into a mosque after serving as a museum and a symbol of Turkey’s secular triumph in the 20th century.  The building is considered one of the most beautiful in the world and was originally built as a cathedral in 537 and eventually became a mosque in 1453 after the Fall Of Constantinople.  So now we wait until Erdogan gets more desperate as the economy and society continues to implode and he finally makes Turkey a full-blown Islamist country.  At that point it will become Iraq 2.0 and the world will just shrug its shoulders after the country explodes.  Good job, Erdogan.  (

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JULYJohn Lewis was a key figure in the civil rights movement in the ‘60s and his subsequent work as a congressman had a profound impact on equal rights in this country.  He passed away at the age of 80 and his legacy is evident with the sheer number of memorials around the country.  Carl Reiner was one of the leading comedians of the ‘50s who worked as a writer, director and actor in the early days of television and who had a great influence on comedy in the decades to come.  He passed away this month at the age of 98.  Olivia De Havilland was the last living main cast member from Gone With The Wind, but her acting career went far beyond one movie.  She was regarded as a great beauty and an amazing talent and had a successful career in Hollywood before retiring to France.  She passed away this month a the age of 104.  Regis Philbin had a very long career in television, but to people my age he will always be remembered for his hosting duties on Live With Regis And Kathie Lee and for being Mr. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.  He passed away at the age of 89.  I remember Hugh Downs from his work on 20/20 and for appearing in practically every news special on TV when I was growing up.  He retired decades ago but his memory will live on for anyone who ever watched copious amounts of TV growing up in the ‘80s.  He passed away this month at the age of 99.  Rest in peace.  ( /