Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/06/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

UTEP OFFERS AMAZON THE CHANCE TO LEASE ONCE TOXIC LAND AS AN INCENTIVE TO LAND AMAZON’S SECOND HEADQUARTERS.  DIANA NATALICIO ISN’T VERY GOOD AT THIS WHITE COLLAR CORPORATE BRIBERY THING – The Amazon sweepstakes is under way and cities around the country are busy whoring themselves out and offering bribes (I’m sorry, they’re called “incentives”) to get the company to set up a multi-billion dollar headquarters in their immediate tax zone.  It is admirable that many stakeholders in the Paso del Norte region have come together to support this project (even the Mayor of Juarez has come aboard to support El Paso’s bid, though the Mayor of Las Cruces has not been very vocal about this at all).  But maybe Diana Natalicio should just give them the old Asarco cleanup site instead of just offering a lease, that’s not much of a bribecentive.  Like when San Antonio and Texas bribed (aka incentivized) Toyota to put a factory there and Austin’s bribe (aka economic development incentive) spree to land random tech companies, the winner of the Amazon sweepstakes will be the city that offers the most “incentives” and that has the whitest population possible.  Let’s face it, Amazon is a white bread company and they will choose the wealthiest suburbanite community that has just enough “urban” elements and just enough Latino, Black and Asian faces that they can claim they are in a “vibrant and diverse” place.  So basically some white bread city filled with a few token minorities will get Amazon Headquarters Part 2.  At least El Paso hasn’t gone to some of the extreme begging and bribing lengths that other cities have engaged in to try and get Amazon to come to their town.  El Paso has some integrity.  (elpasoinc.com)

IT’S TIME FOR EL PASO’S ANNUAL DRAWING PENISES WITH CHALK FESTIVAL!  – Chalk The Block is back in downtown El Paso with great art and music activities for the whole family.  The festival is a great event in downtown that showcases talented artists doing amazing things with only chalk and also gives everyone a chance to do chalk graffiti all over downtown El Paso.  In keeping with El Paso tradition, this is the perfect opportunity to get really drunk and turn something wholesome into a morbid mess by using your chalk to draw penises and boobs all over the streets of El Paso.  So go out and enjoy the Chalk The Block (With Penises) Festival 2017!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ZOMBIE HAMBURGERS ARE COMING TO EL PASO!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! – Much like a zombie or Jesus Christ, Charcoaler is coming back from the dead to bring joy, excitement and delicious food to El Paso.  Charcoaler was a legendary fast food joint that made amazing hamburgers cooked on a real charcoal grill for decades in El Paso.  Sadly, the burger joint ceased operations last year ……. but now it’s coming back!  The new owners, which include a member of the family that owned the original, will open Charcoaler before the holidays and promise that it will be better than ever.  So start getting in line now, because Mesa is going to be a parking lot once Charcoaler opens up again.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WELL, THAT WENT WELL.  THE SPANISH GOVERNMENT ISN’T VERY GOOD AT DECISION MAKING, IS IT? – All Spain had to do was back off and let Catalonia have its non-binding referendum and it would have lost or won by a very narrow margin.  All things considered, no one would have cared and only the small minority of true separatists would have bitched and complained about the result.  By banning the vote, sending police and acting violently against people who just wanted to practice basic democracy; the Spanish government has pissed off the entire Catalan region and have pushed the moderates into the arms of the fringe nationalist separatists that now are calling for a real independence movement.  Next time, just look at how London handled the whole Scottish Independence movement to see how to properly handle a referendum by angry separatists.  Now Madrid has backed itself into a corner and will probably end up using more violence that will push Catalonia and other Spanish regions to question the bullshit dream of “Spanish Unity”.  Madrid is just lucky the Basque Country hasn’t risen up again, Spain would already be split into 8 countries by now if the Catalans and the Basques pushed Madrid at the same time.  (bbc.com)

AMERICA IS THE ONLY COUNTRY IN THE WORLD WERE AN ELDERLY LOSER CAN AMASS AN ARSENAL AND KILL DOZENS OF PEOPLE IN A TERRORIST ATTACK USING HIS PERFECTLY LEGAL GUN COLLECTION – A terrorist attack occurred in Las Vegas as an elderly moron who hated casinos, or some other stupid reason, decided to take out his anger on innocent people watching a country music concert.  By the end of his cowardly terrorist strike, the elderly fucker killed 58 people from his 32nd floor perch at the Mandalay Bay Hotel using semi-automatic weapons with legal modifications that turned them into borderline machine guns.  These modifications were so fucked up that even the NRA is asking the government to look into banning bump-stocks that can turn a semi-automatic rifle into an even more dangerous weapon.  Fuck terrorists of all races, creeds and ideologies and their stupid reasoning.  (bbc.com)

LET’S END ON A HAPPY NOTE WITH A PARROT THAT SINGS WITH A BELFAST ACCENT TO SUPPORT THE NORTHERN IRELAND NATIONAL FUTBALL TEAM – Kelo the parrot is a magical bird that sings and talks with a Belfast accent while supporting the Green and White Army.  This is all you need to know, so just click the link and watch Kelo support Northern Ireland!  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/29/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TAKING A PAGE FROM THE LEADERSHIP MANUAL OF DONALD TRUMP, EL PASO STATE SENATOR JOSE RODRIGUEZ DECIDED NOW WAS THE TIME TO ACT LIKE A RACIST, MONEY-WASTING ASSHOLE – It was a banner week for State Senator Jose Rodriguez who was named the 4th worst spender in the entire Texas Senate by the Texas Monitor and who decided to double down on the racist comments he said last week by trying to spin the whole thing with “save the barrio” rhetoric and refusing to apologize.  This all stated when he told a statewide magazine his crazy conspiracy theory that white people wanted to take over the Union Plaza area and build the arena in order to create a ‘Gringolandia’ and eliminate the ‘Mexican culture’ that is supposedly represented by the Victorian-style buildings in the area.  Bad enough that an elected official is creating a conspiracy theory about imaginary cultural invaders, but for an elected official to use the word ‘gringo’ is amazingly offensive and racist as sin.  For comparison’s sake, it’s like if a white politician said that all the people protesting in Union Plaza were spics that wanted to create a ‘Wetbackland’ instead of allowing an arena to be built.  If a white politician ever said that every fucking crybaby activist that is bitching about the arena would be clamoring for his removal from office and for criminal charges to be filed.  But because Jose Rodriguez is brown he thinks he can be a racist prick and come off as the Latino Macho Man Champion of the People – and the lack of outrage from El Paso’s “activists” sort of proves that point.  Hell, I’m sure the idiots that are still fighting over the old buildings in Union Plaza already have posters of the brown Donald Trump and are ejaculating over his comments.  This behavior is incredibly vile for a public servant and his lack of remorse over his racism is staggering.  It’s one thing for an idiot shock jock or comedian on Univision to say ‘gringo’ – hell, they have a right to say whatever they want as long as it’s not libel or slander.  But for a public official to use such ignorant and racist language is amazingly disheartening.  But putting the vile racism aside, Jose Rodriguez also wastes more money that practically every other Texas Senator including a whopping $5,000 a month on an Austin apartment and over $20,000 for a lease on a Lexus!  Please vote Jose Rodriguez out of office in the next election.  If not for his racism, get rid of him for his incompetence and lack of financial responsibility.  (elpasoproud.com)

IN POSITIVE DOWNTOWN NEWS, LOOKS LIKE THE ABDOU BUILDING WILL FINALLY GET RENOVATED AND NO ONE IS PROTESTING THE PROJECT! – It’s really nice when things get done downtown without uninformed protesters and pseudo-historians getting in the way.  The latest project in Downtown El Paso’s current growth spurt is the renovation of the Abdou Building near Mesa and Texas St.  The building will be revamped as a mixed use development with retail space on the bottom floor and massive 3-bedroom apartments taking up the upper floors.  In fact, it seems that only 5 apartments will be available and each unit will take up an entire floor.  Kudos to the young El Pasoans who took up this project and who are doing something amazingly beneficial for the community.  Now let’s fix up all the other buildings in downtown and make sure that Billy Abraham doesn’t buy any more of them.  (elpasoinc.com)

IN NEWS THAT WOULD MAKE CAPTAIN OBVIOUS PROUD, CONSULTANTS HIRED BY THE CITY HAVE FOUND THAT THE MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL INSTITUTE IS INCOMPETENT AND IS NOT VERY GOOD AT FUNDRAISING – The City of El Paso wasted money on consultants out of due diligence, but any idiot off the street could see that the MACI knew jack shit about fundraising.  There’s been a lot of back and forth between the city and the people that wanted to spend $30 million on a Mexican American Cultural Center.  But all you need to know is that the people tasked with raising $20 million dollars only raised $19,626 in 2016 and $1,630 in 2017.  Children in elementary schools doing those fundraising order form scams that offer you prizes raise more money for their schools than the idiots at MACI.  Fuck, I’m pretty sure the top fundraiser in any elementary school is able to raise $1,630 all by themselves – and then they get the crazy top prize which is like a bicycle or a video game system.  So to recap, grown-ass adults who are supposedly the best of the best in the city could barely raise $20,000 in a year while damn elementary school kids raise that in like 3 weeks.  But sure, the MACI is the victim in all of this and the big, bad city government is out to get them because they are brown and want to “Save Durangito”.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

HUGH HEFNER IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE HUGH HEFNER – It is a sad day as Hugh Hefner, one of the Patron Saints of Simple Minded Entertainment and founder of Playboy Magazine, has passed away at the age of 91.  He will forever be known for being one of the driving forces in the sexual revolution via his role in Playboy, but he was much more complex than just that.  He fought for first amendment rights and civil rights and created a magazine that not only celebrated the female body as something artistic and beautiful, but that also featured amazing writers and was a huge cultural influence in many aspects of society.  He wasn’t perfect and he led the Playboy Empire into an almost virtual collapse in his later years, but he will always be remembered as being a man ahead of his time.  (bbc.com)

THIS WEEK’S SEQUEL TO “HURRICANEPOCALYPSE AND EARTHQUAKEMAGGEDON” IS “REVENGE OF THE TWIN VOLCANOES” – Hurricanes aren’t the only natural disasters that can be predicted with varying degrees of success, Volcanoes also have been studied enough that modern science can get a good estimate of when they will strike.  And much like hurricanes, despite all the best intentions the warnings are sometimes a little off which leads to people growing complacent with these sort of alerts.  The first volcano expected to have a big eruption is Agung in Indonesia.  The surrounding area has been evacuated of tens of thousands of people as scientists have warned, for days, that the signs point to a big eruption at any given moment.  It still hasn’t blown up, but it should be pretty bad when it happens and the people in the area should heed all warnings.  Ambae in Vanuatu is another volcano that scientists are watching closely and people in the area have already been relocated in anticipation of the damage that Ambae can cause.  Just when you thought that it couldn’t get any worse than hurricanes and volcanoes on the same day, we have a double volcano threat in the eastern hemisphere.  All we need is a tsunami and tornado and the Earth’s royal flush of natural disasters is complete.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

SAUDI ARABIA WILL FINALLY ALLOW WOMEN TO DRIVE IN THE COUNTRY.  SAUDI ARABIA HAS FINALLY ENTERED THE 20TH CENTURY!  1920 SAYS HELLO, JUST A FEW MORE DECADES OF ADVANCEMENT AND SAUDI ARABIA MIGHT CATCH UP TO THE REST OF THE WORLD – Saudi Arabia has always been one of the worst offenders of human rights in the world, so it is refreshing to see the government there finally give the most minimal of respect and rights to the women in their country.  Starting next year women will be able to drive in Saudi Arabia and it seems like the government of the country is sticking to its guns in its official plan to try and modernize the country in all aspects.  They’ve got a long way to go, but maybe Saudi Arabia will at least be on par with most of the other advanced Muslim nations in the world when it comes to laws and rights.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/22/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S NOT A SKYSCRAPER, BUT AT LEAST EL PASO IS GETTING A NEW HIGH RISE BUILDING IN DOWNTOWN AFTER DECADES OF MINIMAL OFFICE SPACE GROWTH IN THE HEART OF THE CITY – WestStar Bank and Hunt Companies are joining forces to build the first high rise in Downtown El Paso in quite some time.  Although with all the political posturing and buzz coming out of this project over the years you would have thought it was going to be a massive skyscraper, the modest 14-story office tower will be a welcome addition to Downtown and the local government did good to offer up tax incentives to get the project started.  As a reminder, the tax incentives aren’t some sort of corruption or favoritism by the government reserved solely for political backers.  The tax incentives are available to EVERYONE, so people are more than welcome to build $70 million towers in El Paso and ask the government for tax breaks and incentives.  This money is available to everyone, so if you’re mad about this you can go ahead and build your own high rise and get the same benefits.  The WestStar Tower will start construction in the near future and should be open around 2019/2020 overlooking the freeway right on the intersection at N. Mesa and I-10.  (elpasoinc.com)

ALL HAIL NEW CHIEF JOSE SIERRA!  HE DOESN’T HAVE A COOL NAME LIKE CHIEF THUNDER LIGHTNING, BUT HE’S STILL THE BOSS – Chief Jose Sierra was named the new cacique (leader) of the of the Ysleta Del Sur Pueblo back in late August and this is notable because the position is possibly the oldest continuously active leadership position in the Paso del Norte region, dating back to the 17th century!  Although this is rather important news on par with any local elections, the El Paso Herald Post is the only site with any meaningful coverage and they even have an interview on the site.  So go check it out and listen to what a new borderland leader has to say about the world around them.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THIS LINK IS JUST A SHAMELESS EXCUSE FOR US TO TALK ABOUT A BABY DEER.  ALSO, IF YOU FIND A LOST BABY DEER CALL A WILDLIFE RESCUE EXPERT AND DON’T TRY TO CARE FOR IT IN YOUR GARAGE – The Second Chance Wildlife Rescue in West El Paso just keeps on being awesome.  The organization is currently caring for a fawn that was close to dying after a family tried to take care of it at home when they discovered the deer without its mother.  The fawn is okay now and they are hopeful that it can be released back into the wild with its fellow deer brethren.  But the organization is using this as a learning experience for the public to contact wildlife rescue experts whenever they see a wild animal in trouble.  Don’t try to take care of a wild animal in your house, it most likely will not end well.  (elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

EARTHQUAKE AND HURRICANE APOCALYPSE PART 2 – Just when you thought that things were going back to normal, mother nature decided to strike the Caribbean with another major hurricane and hit Mexico with another large earthquake.  On the heels of Irma, Hurricane Maria struck a good portion of the Caribbean as a category 5 or 4 storm, with the worst of the damage occurring in Dominica and Puerto Rico.  And while Maria was spinning away in the Atlantic, a 7.1 magnitude quake struck central Mexico causing multiple buildings to collapse and hundreds of fatalities in the Mexico City area.  While the damage was bad in all these cases, it wasn’t as catastrophic as when a natural disaster hits economically distraught places like Haiti or large portions of south Asia.  Puerto Rico stood by pretty well after the category 4 hurricane passed through the whole island and the damage in Mexico was microscopic compared to the clusterfuck after the 1985 earthquake that killed upwards of 10,000 people.  This is an improvement and authorities should be commended for not letting a natural disaster turn into a humanitarian nightmare like we have seen in other parts of the world.  Though the Chilango media and authorities should be heavily criticized and ridiculed for wasting valuable time and resources on the story of a non-existent little girl that was supposedly trapped for days in the rubble of a school.  Not since Bart Simpson got stuck in a well has the world been so outraged by fake child endangerment.  (bbc.com)

IT’S ABOUT TIME THE KURDS GOT A SHOT OF HAVING THEIR OWN COUNTRY.  HEAVEN FORBID PEOPLE EXERCISE THEIR RIGHT TO SELF-DETERMINATION – There is no better example of true democracy than the independence referendum.  Whether or not the slave master leaders of a Frankenstein country choose to accept the results, at least the subjugated people get to vote and show that they seek a non-violent way to gain their freedom.  The Kurdish population of Iraq has suffered for a long time and now after helping to defeat ISIS they have decided to hold an independence referendum in the Kurdistan region of the country in an attempt to start the dialogue on true independence.  An overwhelming majority of the population is expected to vote this weekend and many are expecting a strong unified result asking for independence.  Naturally, this isn’t sitting too well with the surrounding Frankenstein countries that only want more land and natural resources, but hopefully the Kurds are strong enough to get the ball rolling on independence.  There is no greater cancer in the world than the Frankenstein countries and their Yugoslavization of territory for the sole purpose of amassing as much natural resources as possible.  But one day these Frankenstein countries will be broken.  From Russia, to China, to America, to Brazil, to Iraq, to Turkey, to India and beyond – they will all be broken into rational nation states and the world will be better for everyone.  God help the Kurds on their search for freedom and independence.  (bbc.com)

AMERICA AND NORTH KOREA ARE BOTH RUN BY GIANT FUCKING TODDLERS – In a scene reminiscent of a fight between two spoiled, idiotic children on the playground; Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un have resorted to calling each other names as the North Korea Nuclear Crisis escalates.  Normally the leader of North Korea says stupid ass shit, but the world ignores it and life goes on.  Now we have an idiot in the White House who actually engages the moron in North Korea and the world is in shock at how easily this could become a deadly situation.  Hopefully cooler heads will prevail and the grandstanding will stop.  But seriously, fuck Kim Jong-un and fuck Donald Trump.  As a silver lining, Kim correctly used the word ‘dotard’ to describe Donald Trump thus proving that even foreign leaders using English as a second language have a better grasp of English than Donald Trump.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 09/15/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TAKING A PAGE FROM WILLY WONKA, AMAZON IS HOLDING A SHAMELESS CONTEST TO SEE WHICH CITY WILL OFFER THE MOST “INCENTIVES” TO BECOME THE SECOND HEADQUARTERS FOR THE COMPANY.  UNFORTUNATELY IF AMAZON DOES CHOOSE EL PASO, MAX GROSSMAN AND HIS IDIOT MINIONS WILL FIND A WAY TO SCARE THEM OFF – It seems like every city in the country is taking part in Amazon’s borderline reality show search for a second headquarters.  El Paso isn’t sitting back for this and the city government, the Borderplex Alliance and other regional leaders are going all in to put together a legitimate package to try and get Amazon to choose the city.  Amazon will probably choose a trendy city because they are essentially a digital hipster version of Wal-Mart, but it will be their loss if they don’t consider El Paso for their second headquarters.  So if they don’t choose El Paso?  Well, fuck them.  We’ll make our own company called Rio Grande but with blackjack and hookers and a sassy Mexican robot as CEO.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GET WELL SOON, ESTELA – KVIA’s Estela Casas is a living legend in the Paso del Norte region who has been the most trusted face for El Paso’s news for decades.  This week Estela Casas made a powerful and emotional announcement to let viewers know that she had been diagnosed with cancer and was in the process of fighting the disease.  We wish her the best and know that Estela Casas is strong enough to kick cancer’s ass!  (kvia.com)

THIS WEEK ON “BILLY ABRAHAM’S SKETCHY ADVENTURES”:  BILLY FILES AMAZINGLY SKETCHY COURT ORDERS IN ORDER TO STOP THE FORECLOSURE AND SALE OF A BUILDING THAT HE DOESN’T EVEN OWN BECAUSE HE STOPPED PAYING THE PEOPLE THAT SOLD HIM THE BUILDING IN THE FIRST PLACE – The old train depot on the corner of I-10 and Campbell (the beautiful brick building that you see when you enter the freeway going east from downtown) has been in disrepair for a long time and, unfortunately, the “owner” was Billy Abraham.  The building found new life in past years as a preppy Mexican nightclub but, like most Billy Abraham properties, any improvement on the property depended on how much the tenant wanted to invest.  Thankfully, the building is getting a new lease on life as a couple of local investors, going under the name Campbell Depot LLC, bought the mortgage note from the Zuni Pueblo (the original owners that were shafted by Abraham) and then won the foreclosure auction on the building for $950,000 this week.  Do yourself a favor and read the entire drama-filled report about the auction found in El Paso Inc., it’s better than most TV shows or movies.  Not only did Billy Abraham try to halt the auction with some amazingly iffy legal maneuvering and questionable documents, but he bid $960,000 to buy back the building in a cash only auction as a last ditch effort to stall for time!  If Billy Abraham had $960,000 in cash this whole fucking auction wouldn’t have been necessary at all!  Billy Abraham is skeevy and his adventures make you shout out “is this even legal?” every five minutes, but at least he hasn’t torn down any of his historic properties so he scores some points for that.  Join us again next week for another episode of “Billy Abraham’s Sketchy Adventures”.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PEOPLE OF ST. LOUIS ARE ANGRY ONCE MORE AND PROTESTING AFTER A WHITE COP WENT UNPUNISHED AFTER KILLING A BLACK MAN.  YOU’RE PROBABLY WONDERING IF THIS IS THE SAME CASE AS LAST TIME.  NOPE, THIS IS A DIFFERENT WHITE COP THAT SHOT A DIFFERENT BLACK MAN IN ST. LOUIS ……. ST. LOUIS DOES THIS A LOT, APPARENTLY – St. Louis is going into angry protest mode AGAIN as former police officer Jason Stockley was acquitted of first-degree murder for the death of Anthony Lamar Smith.  To summarize, he was acquitted even though the details of the case painted a picture of a cop who saw one too many shitty action movies and decided to go into overkill mode with a dangerous car chase, shootout and a planted gun.  He also shouted that he was going to kill him right before he jumped out of the car AND WAS STILL ACQUITTED.  This won’t sit well in St. Louis as the anger of the community will grow and more protests will erupt out of this.  Stay tuned.  (npr.org)

TAKE A BOW, CASSINI SPACECRAFT ……. THEN CRASH INTO SATURN – It’s the end of an era as the Cassini Spacecraft finished it’s almost 20 year mission to visit and explore Saturn by diving straight into the planet in a blaze of glory.  Over the years, the Cassini probe mission gave us valuable information on Saturn, its moons and its rings.  But the little spaceship that could finally reached the end of its usefulness and did one last science project by going straight into Saturn and transmitting to the very end.  If you’re gonna die, crashing into Saturn is a pretty badass way to die.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

NOW YOU’RE SAYING THAT TRANSFORMERS ARE REAL?  WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE! – The rise of artificial intelligence might one day destroy humanity, but at least we’ll be murdered by awesome transformers!  Scientists in Belgium’s Universite Libre de Bruxelles are working on a “morphable” drone consisting of many small ball shaped robots that are controlled by one “brain” robot that all work together and change the shape of the group depending on what they are needed for.  So basically it’s more like Voltron than Transformers, but it’s still some pretty cool research.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

SIMPLE MINDED 8-TRACK MIX TAPE – 1st and 2nd Quarter 2017

 

It's been a while, but here's our top musical picks for the first half of 2017.  So enjoy the Simple Minded 8-Track Mix Tape for the first 2 quarters of 2017.

FIRST QUARTER 2017

TRACK 1 – “Weak” by AJR from the album The Click

PRODUCT OF:  New York City

THIS SONG KICKS ASS BECAUSE:  It has a fresh altnernopop sound that brings indie music sensibilities to a pop scene that can rapidly grow stale.

IF I CLOSE MY EYES I CAN SEE:  AJR dancing around a New York City Subway car fighting ghosts and/or reacting to heavy drug use.  The lack of hobos pissing on the subway makes this video very unrealistic.

WANT TO READ A FANTASTIC FACT RELATING TO THE SONG THAT WE PROBABLY JUST MADE UP?  DID YOU KNOW:  AJR’s name is not a tribute to PBR, the hipster beer, but a combination of the first names of the three brothers in the band – Adam, Jack and Ryan.

Continue reading “SIMPLE MINDED 8-TRACK MIX TAPE – 1st and 2nd Quarter 2017”

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/08/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT LOOKS LIKE FINALLY WE MIGHT GET A NICE HOTEL NEAR THE EL PASO AIRPORT – That giant eyesore of a vacant lot on the corner of Montana and Airway might finally be developed after the last legal hurdle seems to have been cleared by developers seeking tax incentives to do something with that massive waste of space that is just squandering prime real estate.  The El Paso Eighth Court of Appeals recently ruled against the Wyndham Airport, which was the last of the cry baby hotels that were fighting the tax incentive package the city was offering to EP Vida LLC to develop the city owned land.  Pending any pointless appeals, EP Vida LLC will now spend $64 million to build a 4-star hotel and retail development in the property in exchange for common tax incentives available to ANYONE who is willing to invest in something special for the city.  But let us never forget that the majority of the hotels around the airport delayed this project via the courts so that they could shamelessly prevent competition while dicking over the people of El Paso.  (elpasoinc.com)

IF WE ARE GOING TO WASTE MONEY ON A CULTURAL CENTER DEDICATED TO THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE UP 90% OF THE POPULATION, MIGHT AS WELL JUST USE A FREE BUILDING TO CUT COSTS – Lane Gaddy is putting his money where his mouth is and is offering the historic Roberts-Banner Building as the home for the announced Mexican-American Cultural Center.  So far, the cultural center project has been an embarrassing boondoggle for everyone involved and the super expensive Abraham Chavez Theatre plan seems to have been nothing but a money guzzling pipe dream.  We don’t know the details of Gaddy’s offer, but it’s either a completely free building with no strings attached or some very cheap lease agreement that will allow the city to maximize the funds they have for the project.  It’s nice to see someone talk about the neglected history of downtown and then actually do something productive about it.  Most of the people who talk about downtown’s history are poor, idiot dumbasses (Max Grossman and friends) who can only bitch and complain and cause trouble for any projects that they don’t like.  Maybe Max Grossman should take a page from Lane Gaddy’s book and actually buy up “historic” buildings and do something about the “history”.  (elpasoinc.com)

SISD MONKEY SEE, SISD MONKEY DO – The Socorro Independent School District has seen other local school districts take advantage of idiot voters to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars and now it wants in on the scam.  SISD is floating the idea of over $400 million in bonds for overpriced projects that will inevitably lead to the superintendent being paid a raise that they don’t deserve and will result in stupid and borderline discriminatory ideas like “all girl public schools”.  At this rate, the Clint and Canutillo districts will be asking for a billion dollars in bonds sometime in the next five years.  (elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

HURRICANES, EARTHQUAKES, TSUNAMIS AND FIRES!  ALL WE NEED IS A METEOR STRIKE AND WE CAN CLAIM THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US – This week has seen a cavalcade of natural disasters in North America as Hurricane Irma wrecked the Caribbean on its path toward Florida, an 8.1 earthquake off the coast of southern Mexico caused a mini-Tsunami and a wave of forest fires is roasting a good portion of the western United States.  At least North Korea hasn’t exploded any nuclear bombs around people, so that’s one positive the world’s got going for it.  Take care, World.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

WHILE WE’RE ALL FOCUSED ON THE APOCALYPSE CURRENTLY ENGULFING NORTH AMERICA, WE SHOULD DO OUR BEST NOT TO IGNORE THE CURRENT ATTEMPTED GENOCIDE OCCURRING IN MYANMAR (THE LAND ONCE KNOWN AS BURMA) – The Rohingya people are a minority in Myanmar and also have the distinction of being the go to punching bag for the dominant groups in that country, but especially in Rakhine state.  While the Rohingya should probably have their own country, Myanmar wants nothing of that and is doing its best to drive out the predominantly Muslim Rohingya for religious and just plain ol’ greedy reasons.  Also of note, is that one of the main leaders in Myanmar is Aung San Suu Kyi who is a Nobel Peace Prize winner that is currently silent about all these atrocities in her own country and who is essentially turning a blind eye to the horrible things around her.  Seems like they’ll give anyone a Nobel Peace Prize these days.  So if you don’t know anything about Myanmar and the Rohingya, now is the time to get educated.  (bbc.com)

DAREDEVIL IS REAL, KIDS!  WATCH OUT, CRIMINALS IN HELL’S KITCHEN! – Daredevil is a fictional superhero who is blind but uses the powers of echolocation, among other adaptations, to ‘see” the world around him in a highly detailed way that is beyond the realm of normal humans.  While the superhuman angle might not be possible, at the moment, it appears that some people have developed the use of echolocation in the real world.  So much like bats, certain blind people are training themselves to use mouth clicks to create a spatial map of the immediate area around them.  Just don’t call them Batman, Batman doesn’t use echolocation – the correct analogy is Daredevil.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/01/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

HORIZON CITY IS FINALLY GETTING A HOSPITAL!  MEANWHILE, SOCORRO IS GETTING A RANDOM DENTAL OFFICE AND SKETCHY “EMERGENCY” CLINIC IN A STRIP MALL BETWEEN A BIG 8 AND A LIQUOR STORE – A hospital will open up in Horizon thanks to a partnership between Providence and micro hospital company Emerus.  This is the first fully functioning hospital to be built anywhere in the greater El Paso area that is not inside the city limits of the large city.  And even though Socorro is almost twice the size as Horizon, their government is more focused on grandstanding over only 4 houses that flood because they were built on top of an arroyo with no access to a city road.  Heaven forbid Socorro focus on economic development or any other topic that would benefit the entire city.  (kvia.com)

AT LEAST SHE DIDN’T PINCH THE CHILD’S ASS, SO THAT’S AN IMPROVEMENT.  THOUGH NOW SHE IS DISQUALIFIED FROM APPLYING TO BE MONTWOOD’S NEW BAND DIRECTOR – A teacher at Helen Ball elementary was arrested at school this week over charges of causing injury to a child which were preceded by accusations she pinched and scratched a child.  Olga Najera was previously under investigation at another school for inappropriate behavior, so it seems she had a history of being rough with kids.  No further details were available regarding the arrest and it is not known if it is for abuse that happened to a student at school.  As far as local teacher scandals go, Olga Najera will probably be commended for not molesting the students.  Sadly, this is an improvement over the other times local teachers have been arrested.  (kfoxtv.com)

NOT ALL THE DEVELOPMENT IN THE UPPER VALLEY IS POINTLESS SPRAWL, SOME PEOPLE ARE DOING SOME AMAZING THINGS WITH THE UNIQUE ENVIRONMENT IN EL PASO’S UPPER VALLEY – Kudos to Josie Karam and Second Chance Wildlife Rescue for turning a priceless 7 acre wetlands site in the Upper Valley into a first of its kind animal refuge and rescue facility.  The organization and their members have been helping sick and wounded animals for decades and it’s good to see an organization like this thrive and expand its scope.  While most of the development in the Upper Valley seems to fall into the category of strip mall and/or McMansion, it’s nice to see something unique that preserves the natural beauty of the area.  So be sure to donate time or money to this wonderful group if you really want to help out a great local organization.  And if you ever find a wild animal that needs help, you can call Second Chance Wildlife Rescue to lend a helping hand.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WELL, THAT WAS A PRETTY HORRIBLE STORM – Hurricane Harvey hit Texas and, although the initial landfall was devastating to the towns north of Corpus Christi, the most widespread damage occurred farther north in Houston.  Thanks to the storm’s weirdo track and stationary wandering, the storm ended up dropping more than 40” inches of rain in and around Houston and created devastating floods that have left tens of thousands of people homeless.  This one was one for the record books.  Get well soon, Houston.  (bbc.com)

WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE PIKAS! – The American pikas of California’s Sierra Nevada may be the most adorable victims of global warming yet.  Scientists from the University of California, Santa Cruz have found a large population shift in the pika population around Lake Tahoe as the animals seek a colder climate higher up in elevation.  Although, other pikas in North America have adapted to increasing temperatures, the population shift in the California pika is troubling because it may lead to the disappearance of the pika entirely form this area.  So please, even if climate change has no major impact on your life, think of the cute little pikas next time you want to pollute the world.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

IF HURRICANE HARVEY WASN’T ENOUGH, NOW WE HAVE IRMA TO LOOK FORWARD TOO – In the wake of the disaster in Houston, now we have Hurricane Irma toiling away in the Atlantic with its sights set on the Caribbean and America’s east coast.  So be prepared, these new super heated waters throughout the globe are going to feed a lot more powerful hurricanes in the future.  (businessinsider.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 08/25/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WE SHOULD JUST BE GRATEFUL THAT WE DON’T GET HURRICANES IN EL PASO.  I’M SURE THE FREEWAY ON THE WESTSIDE WOULD EXPLODE IF MORE THAN A FEW INCHES OF RAIN EVER FELL ON IT – Heavy rains on the Westside caused flooding on Mesa that left cars stranded and created a traffic nightmare on the alternate route to the disaster known as txdot’s I-10 project.  The rains also caused the Chihuahua’s baseball game to be postponed among other headaches around west and central El Paso.  But at least Socorro didn’t flood this time, so that’s a plus.  I don’t want to blame txdot for the traffic disaster and flooding on Mesa, but their piss poor planning probably had a hand in the crappy way the water is flowing in that area.  But don’t worry, txdot will just blame Top Golf and developments in Horizon that are miles away for the flooding.  Nowadays, all flooding in El Paso is because of new developments miles away and not because people irresponsibly build on arroyos and block the natural flow of water.  (cbs4local.com)

GOOD LUCK AT THE MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS, KHALID – I think it’s official that Khalid has “made it” and is a part of mainstream music.  But adding an MTV VMA to his growing list of accomplishments would be pretty sweet.  The El Paso-based singer is up for best new artist and you can vote for him on the MTV website.  So let’s help a local star win an award, El Paso.  Go to the MTV website and vote for Khalid and show the world that Khalid is here to stay.  (elpasoproud.com)

I’M GOING TO TAKE A WILD GUESS AND SAY THAT THE HOUSE IN JUAREZ WITH ALL THE EXOTIC PETS BELONGED TO DRUG DEALERS – Police in Juarez raided a home recently that included AT LEAST two tigers, one lion and a crocodile.  That, however, is not really news and is sort of par for the course for Juarez.  The real news is that officials said that they are still trying to determine who owns the fancy country club house filled with exotic animals.  Gee, I’m about 99.9% sure that a drug dealer or someone involved with drug dealers owns the house.  Either that or a crazy veterinarian.  At least no one died or got hurt, so this is pretty good news for Juarez.  Esta NO es la mala nota!  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

HURRICANE HARVEY IS POISED TO HIT TEXAS AS ONE OF THE STRONGEST STORMS TO REACH THAT AREA IN DECADES.  EVEN THOUGH IT’S HUNDREDS OF MILES AWAY, THIS STORM WILL PROBABLY CAUSE FLOODING ON COKER ROAD – Hurricane Harvey is gaining strength in the Gulf of Mexico and will probably hit Texas as a category 4 storm.  It’s projected to bring strong winds and a ton of rain, so stay safe if you’re in the path of the storm.  (bbc.com)

PROOF #16789 THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS REAL – The Christophe de Margerie, the Russian ship with a French name, made history as the first shipping vessel to travel through the Arctic Ocean without the aide of an icebreaker ship.  The ship is technically a hybrid tanker/icebreaker thanks to its thick hull, but it still made the trip without the aid of a dedicated ice breaking vessel so the record is legit.  The journey from Norway to South Korea took 23 days and delivered its cargo of liquefied natural gas to the Asian market.  The trip through the Arctic Ocean was about 30% faster than the southern route through the Suez Canal and with a rapidly melting arctic environment it is believed that the journey will be faster and cheaper in the future.  Even if you don’t believe in man-made climate change, you can’t deny that the world is getting warmer and the changes in climate are getting pretty scary and maybe humanity shouldn’t speed up the process by polluting the entire fucking planet.  And just to rub salt on the wound, corrupt Russian oligarchs will now have new sea routes to make even more money thanks to the weakened icy environment in the Arctic.  So apparently global warming will only benefit horrible people.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

DONALD TRUMP WILL ALWAYS BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – In an attempt to be the biggest scumbag imaginable, Donald Trump decided to dump the news that he was going forward with his transgender military ban and that he was going to pardon super racist Joe Arpaio just as Category 4 Hurricane Harvey was set to strike near Corpus Christi.  Plenty of politicians dump controversial and bad news on weekends in an attempt to drown out the reaction, but Donald Trump just took that to new levels of depravity by using a life-threatening hurricane to cover his hate-filled actions.  (mirror.co.uk)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/18/2017

SUNLAND PARK WAS DOING SO WELL AND THEN ……. BAM!, THEY FIRE THEIR CITY MANAGER FOR NO APPARENT REASON AS RUMORS OF CORRUPTION ARISE – Sunland Park did the most Sunland Park thing possible this week when it fired City Manager Bob Gallagher without warning.  To make matters sketchier, no real reason was given for his firing which brings up more questions on what the fuck is going on in Sunland Park.  Nothing says transparency and honest government like firing the City Manager and then not giving the public a proper explanation.  Bob Gallagher, himself, went so far as to accuse the Sunland Park government of asking him to do illegal and skeevy things and of reverting back to their old ways.  If these accusations are false, Sunland Park officials have more than enough ammo to hold Bob Gallagher accountable for slander.  But in this case, the Sunland Park government’s silence is deafening.  You were doing so well, Sunland Park.  (kvia.com)

REJOICE!  CHILE HARVEST SEASON IS UPON US – Hatch and the rest of the greater Mogollon region have started the annual chile harvest that will bring us tons and tons of delicious green chile that will in turn begat red chile.  Although Hatch is the king of chile production, various parts around Las Cruces and El Paso also grow their own delicious green chiles.  So whether you’re a major chile growing operation, a chile lover with plants in your garden or just someone who loves to eat them – the start of the chile harvest should put a big smile on your face.  (elpasoinc.com)

IN TYPICAL AGGIE FASHION, NMSU GOT A BREWERY FROM ALBUQUERQUE TO CREATE AN “AGGIE” BEER INSTEAD OF USING A LOCAL LAS CRUCES BREWERY.  WAY TO SHOW COMMUNITY PRIDE, NMSU – New Mexico State University just announced the creation of Pistol Pete’s 1888 Ale in association with Albuquerque’s Bosque Brewing Co.  Normally beer news is awesome news, but the fact that NMSU ignored the local breweries and went to Lobo territory to create their beer is leaving many with an ultra bitter IPA taste in their mouth.  Maybe next time NMSU can research the services available in Las Cruces before running off to Albuquerque to act subservient to the Lobos.  Hopefully the Las Cruces breweries create Mayfield High and Las Cruces High beers that are stronger and higher selling than Pistol Pete’s 1888 Ale.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK FOR TERRORISTS WHO LIKE TO USE CARS AS WEAPONS – Two major terrorist attacks occurred this past week involving cars hitting pedestrians.  First, a white power terrorist used his car to hit anti-Nazi protesters in Charlottesville last weekend then a Muslim Extremist terrorist used a van to hit innocent people in one of the most pedestrian heavy parts of Barcelona.  Dozens of people were killed or severely injured as a result of these attacks and the world has to be strong and fight back to prevent these extremists from hurting innocent people.  All extremists are scum and their terrorist actions will not be tolerated.  (bbc.com)

IF YOU THINK FLOODING IS BAD IN THE LOWER VALLEY, WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT SOUTH ASIA HAS TO DEAL WITH – Parts of Nepal, Bangladesh and India have been hit so hard by monsoon rains that they are experiencing extreme floods that threaten to reach historic levels.  Over 16 million people have been affected by the floods and the biggest risk to most of them is disease and lack of food once the flood waters go down.  So if you’re looking at donating some money to a charity in the not too distant future, maybe you can spare a few bucks for any organization that will try to help after the floods end.  (bbc.com)

SCIENTISTS HAVE FINALLY DISCOVERED THAT THE REASON SIMPLE MINDED ENTERTAINMENT IS SO AWESOME AND CREATIVE IS BECAUSE OF ALCOHOL! – For years, society has romanticized the idea of the loose cannon artist who does nothing but drink and do drugs and is thus creative because of his freedom from obligations.  Turns out there might be some truth to that stereotype (a very small amount, but it’s a start).  Recent research has shown that one drink improves certain aspects of creativity, but that excessive amounts of alcohol (obviously) destroy any cognition or functioning.  So if you want a creative boost, maybe you should drink a beer or a nice little snifter of brandy.  Now, if you’ll excuse us, the staff of Simple Minded Entertainment will be at the bar in order to make this site as good as it can be.  It’s a sacrifice.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/11/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S LIKE THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD.  IF THE LITTLE ENGINE JUST WENT AROUND UTEP AND DOWNTOWN WHILE PARTYING AND GETTING DRUNK – The final pieces of rail will be placed in the downtown El Paso trolley circuit and we are that much closer to bringing back the trolleys to El Paso.  What once seemed like a dream is becoming reality as the trolley project finishes up the hard part of laying the rail and now focuses on the overhead lines and the beta testing of the trolley in the coming months.  The trolleys will hopefully be back in business in a year or so and the anticipation is growing.  To celebrate the placement of the final pieces of track, the public was invited to a celebration at Franklin and Stanton earlier this week where they were allowed to write a message on the track.  If no one drew a giant penis on the track I will be severely disappointed.  (cbs4local.com)

I HOPE THEY ALLOW HORSES ON THE NEW SUPER TRANS-EL PASO TRAIL PROJECT.  I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO PARTY DOWNTOWN AND THEN RIDE MY HORSE BACK TO THE LOWER VALLEY LIKE THEY DID IN THE GOOD OL’ DAYS – The Paso del Norte Health Foundation is pushing forward with what has been a dream project for many over the years, to create a linear trail that runs the length of El Paso County and connects parks and public amenities from one side of the county to the other.  The best plan would be to create a master trail along the Rio Grande, like they have in New Mexico, but America’s xenophobic, overkill protectionist tendencies would never allow that.  So the next best thing is to try to use the existing canal, gas and electrical easements in the county to try and create a nice pedestrian path that everyone can use.  The project is still in the planning stage and is gathering public input, but the Paso del Norte Health Foundation has already done some great work with the Lower Valley canal trail project.  Now all we need to do is make sure they create a true master trail that allows not only pedestrians and bicyclists, but also horses and skateboards!  (kfoxtv.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SILVA’S SUPER MARKET.  YOU ARE, AND WILL ALWAYS BE, THE BEST PLACE TO BUY MD 20/20S AND BOONE’S – Congratulations go out to Silva’s Super Market for thriving in the tough independent grocery business for 99 years.  Silva’s was opened by Jose Felix and Elvira Silva back in 1918 and has been one of the cornerstone businesses in the Segundo Barrio ever since.  In addition to being an awesome family-owned grocery store, their parking lot is also one of the best places to park after hours if you plan on walking over to Juarez for a night out on the town!  (elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

YOU MIGHT THINK AN ISLAND PARADISE LIKE THE MALDIVES HAS FEW PROBLEMS ……. BUT IT HAS BIG PROBLEMS! – The Maldives is one of those island nations that will be heavily hit by rising sea levels and global warming in the future.  All of its islands are practically at sea level and any rise in the ocean will be devastating to the country.  In the meantime, however, the country is dealing with crazy political drama involving ex-dictators, skeevy votes, demonstrations, coups and plain ol’ corruption.  It’s like if Venezuela and Kenya had a tropical paradise baby!  So if you want to know more about the often ignored Maldivian political drama involving President Abdulla Yameen, ex-president Mohamed Nasheed and ex-dictator Maumoon Abdul Gayoom – please read this great BBC article on the ex- British colony.  It’s everything you ever wanted to know about the Maldives but were afraid to ask!  (bbc.com)

IS THERE ANYTHING THAT PIGS CAN’T DO?  IT ALMOST MAKES ME FEEL BAD THAT THEY’RE SO DELICIOUS – We are one step closer to getting all our transplant organs from pigs and doing away with transplant waiting lists that fuel the global organ trafficking rackets.  Scientists at eGenesis have genetically modified pigs to eliminate viruses that hide in the piggy DNA.  The scientists identified and removed 25 Pervs (porcine endogenous retroviruses) from pig genes using Crispr gene-editing technology then used cloning methods to create embryos that led to 37 healthy pigs being born.  Pervs are capable of “escaping” and infecting human cells so this is a major step in creating safe pig/human organs.  There are still plenty of steps to making this a reality, but sometime in the near future many people will be saved by pig organs!  If a pig saves my life, I might just give up bacon as a sign of respect.  (bbc.com)

DONALD TRUMP AND KM JONG UN ARE BOTH IDIOT MAN-CHILDREN.  IT LOOKS LIKE THE FATE OF THE WORLD IS NOW AT THE HANDS OF K-POP SINGERS, THE ONLY RATIONAL PEOPLE IN THE WHOLE NORTH KOREA MISSILE CLUSTERFUCK – It’s good to see that even though the leaders of North Korea and the U.S. are busy having an idiotic dick measuring contest, there are still some people trying to face this in a way that won’t kill hundreds of thousands of people.  Korean musicians are coming together for the annual peace concerts that occur next to the Demilitarized Zone and even the current tension filled climate won’t stop them from holding their concerts at the foot of North Korea.  Kudos to the organizers and performers for having more courage and bigger balls than Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un.  Let’s see what other stupid shit the morons say in the safety of their highly secure facilities surrounded by military protection.  (bbc.com)