TOP 100 SONGS OF 2017 – 70 to 41

We continue with the Simple Minded Top 100 Songs of 2017!  You know the routine, same rules apply as previous lists.  Read the first post for the full low down.  Now let's unveil songs 70 to 41.

Top 100 Songs of 2017 – 70 to 41

[ Rank. “Song Title” – Artist – (Album Title) ]
(CLICK TO LISTEN)

70. “Winter” – Khalid – (American Teen)
69. “Breathing” – Oscar And The Wolf – (Infinity)
68. “Apocalypse” – Cigarettes After Sex – (Cigarettes After Sex)
67. “Adem” – Yevgueni – (Tijd Is Alles)
66. “Holiday” – Medvedi – (Upside Down)
65. “Machismo Is Dead” – Divine Kegel – (La Solidaridad I)
64. “Bora! Bora! Bora!” – Scooter – (Scooter Forever)
63. “Lookin’ For A Woman” – Steve Earle & The Dukes – (So You Wannabe An Outlaw)
62. “Ur The 1” – Dan Black – (Do Not Revenge)
61. “Lamnar” – Den Svenska Bjornstammen
60. “Better Sorry Than A Safe” – Benjamin Clementine – (I Tell A Fly)
59. “Just A Crush” – Grace VanderWaal – (Just The Beginning)
58. “All Night” – Big Boi – (Boomiverse)
57. “Don’t Look At Me That Way” – Memoria – (Lucid)
56. “OK” – Robin Schulz with James Blunt – (Uncovered)
55. “Buio Omega” – Nitro – (No Comment)
54. “In Cold Blood” – alt-J – (Relaxer)
53. “Part Time Lovers” – The Genders – (Mourning Heartbeats)
52. “Off The Record” – Beneath The Waves with Izzy Ramirez – (Off The Record)
51. “Perdonami” – Salmo
50. “Lemon Juice” – MURS with Curtiss King – (Captain California)
49. “Better Off (Dying)” – Lil Peep – (Come Over When You’re Sober, Pt. 1)
48. “Holding On To Yesterday” – Asaf Avidan – (The Study On Falling)
47. “Boy to Beastie” – The Van Jets – (Future Primitives)
46. “Back To You” – Louis Tomlinson with Bebe Rexha and Digital Farm Animals
45. “So Much More Than This” – Grace VanderWaal – (Just The Beginning)
44. “Can’t Get It Out” – Brand New – (Science Fiction)
43. “Sober Up” – AJR with Rivers Cuomo – (The Click)
42. “Space Invaders” – Dan Black – (Do Not Revenge)
41. “Younger Now” – Miley Cyrus – (Younger Now)

 

Check back soon for the rest of the Top 100 Songs of 2017

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2017 – 100 TO 71

 

Finally, we present Simple Minded Entertainment's annual countdown of the previous years top songs.  The Simple Minded Top 100 Songs of 2017 begins now with songs 100 to 11, 30 at a time, and then, starting with song number 10, we will be counting them down individually including commentary, gratuitous sexy pictures, audio links and moderately relevant trivia.  Same rules apply as previous lists, any song that was on any album released in 2017 (or the later part of 2016) from anywhere in the world is eligible as well as singles released in 2017 or songs that hit it big or got major airplay within the past year  - as long as it’s not too old we will consider it.  To summarize, as long as the song didn’t appear in any of our previous lists and the song or album charted anywhere in the world last year – IT IS ELIGIBLE.  In addition, cover songs and live performances are also eligible - but they have to be real good and unique.  Let's get the list started!

Top 100 Songs of 2017 – 100 to 71

[ Rank. “Song Title” – Artist – (Album Title) ]

(CLICK TO LISTEN)

100. “Mikey’s Smoking Crack” – First Year – (Out Of Ink)
99. “Rockstar” – Post Malone – (Beerbongs & Bentleys)
98. “Feel It Still” – Portugal, The Man – (Woodstock)
97. “Firecore” – VIDEO/NASTY – (VIDEO/NASTY)
96. “DNA.” – Kendrick Lamar – (DAMN.)
95. “Believer” – Imagine Dragons – (Evolve)
94. “Fields of Dread” – Vamping – (Desert Plants)
93. “The Gold” – Manchester Orchestra – (A Black Mile To The Surface)
92. “Perfect” – Ed Sheeran – (Divide)
91. “Song For A Dream” – Indochine – 13
90. “Ain’t So Bad” – Dubois – (Kept Your Stone)
89. “Passion” – qrssd – (Ten EP)
88. “Attraverso Lo Specchio” – Cosmo – (Cosmotronic)
87. “Donnawedda” – Voxxclub – (Donnawedda)
86. “451” – Brand New – (Science Fiction)
85. “Solid Gold” – The Darkness – (Pinewood Smile)
84. “Lit Right Now” – Ayo & Teo
83. “La Vie Est Belle” – Indochine – 13
82. “Penny Express” – First Year – (Out Of Ink)
81. “Beam” – Absynthe Minded – (Jungle Eyes)
80. “Bang!” – The Van Jets – (Future Primitives)
79. “On Tour” – 67 with The Night Skinny – (Pezzi)
78. “Gemini Lounge” – Heavy Metal Kings with Goretex – (Black God White Devil)
77. “Sharks With Arms” – If We Were Turtles – (No. 1)
76. “Get By” – Medvedi – (Upside Down)
75. “Silence” – Marshmello with Khalid
74. “City Lights” – Blanche
73. “A Better Life” – Grace VanderWaal – (Just The Beginning)
72. “Better Off Alone” – Ayo & Teo
71. “High Ticket Attractions” – The New Pornographers – (Whiteout Conditions)

 

Check back soon for the rest of the list.

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/20/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

SAN ELIZARIO IS NOT JUST KNOWN FOR DELICIOUS ASADERO CHEESE, THEY ALSO PLAY SOME GOOD SOCCER – Congratulations to the San Elizario High School Boys Soccer team for winning the state championship in futball and bringing another state title to the high school and the community.  The team beat a heavily-favored Palestine (the town, not the country) team by a score of 1-0 and once again showed that San Elizario is not to be underestimated.  Kudos, San Elizario High School.  You bring pride to the community and the region.  (cbs4local.com)

THERE’S CHAMPIONSHIPS COMING TO EL PASO FROM ALL DIRECTIONS THIS WEEK.  CONGRATS TO THE RHINOS FOR WINNING THE THORNE CUP! – Not to be outdone by the young athletes in San Elizario, the El Paso Rhinos won the Thorne Cup this week thus becoming the champions of the Western States Hockey League.  The El Paso Rhinos were almost eliminated from the championship tournament they were hosting, but went on a tear when it mattered and ended up going all the way and beating the Ogden Mustangs 3-2 in the championship game.  The Rhinos really know how to win when it matters and are definitely one of the best junior hockey teams in the country.  Kudos, Rhinos.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EL PASO DISTRICT ATTORNEY JAIME ESPARZA ISN’T VERY GOOD AT HIS JOB AND YET KEEPS ON BEING RE-ELECTED – In another amazing feat of overplaying their hand, Jaime Esparza led his team to a spectacular defeat as a ‘not guilty’ verdict was declared in a case that should probably have not gone to trial without rock solid evidence.  After what seemed like a few minutes of discussion the jury declared Sal Quintana not guilty of intoxicated manslaughter in the death of Javier Ruvalcaba via fiery crash.  For all intents and purposes, there were very few people (if any) who could have been driving the truck when it crashed and caught fire and the driver left the scene.  But apparently the DA’s office and the police department couldn’t dig up any cell tower location records or anything else that could credibly put Quintana at the scene.  If no rock solid evidence is found then the cops and/or the DA should look closer at the case and not rush to judgment.  So now the DA and local law enforcement will just shrug their soldiers and blame a ghost driver for this death and they’ll go on to the next case to screw up.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS – For the first time in more than half a century, Cuba will not have a member of the Castro family leading the country.  Miguel Diaz-Canel has been chosen as the new President of Cuba by the powers that be and will replace Raul Castro who has decided to step down.  Not much is expected to change in Cuba since Diaz-Canel is considered a staunch ally of Raul Castro and will likely just continue his policies.  But it is a pretty big psychological change for the country to not see a Castro in power.  But who knows, maybe Diaz-Canel will be the man to open up Cuba to the world and turn the island into a mini-China that combines communism and capitalism with sexy results.  (bbc.com)

AND HERE WE THOUGHT THAT NICARAGUA WAS ONE OF THE LEAST CLUSTERFUCKY COUNTRIES IN CENTRAL AMERICA – After all their revolutions and fighting, things seemed to be looking up in Nicaragua as it became one of the more stable countries in the region.  This past week, however, civil unrest exploded across the country as pension reform protests have grown increasingly violent.  President Daniel Ortega thought he could mess around with Nicaragua’s social security system and he learned the hard way that once you give people free money they won’t give it up without a fight.  The protests have been growing since Wednesday and things are not looking very good for Nicaragua.  At least Nicaragua isn’t filled with MS-13 like El Salvador, so they have that going for them.  (reuters.com)

DOES THIS MAKE JOHANN ASPERGER THE REVERSE SCHINDLER? – Johann Asperger was a famous Austrian physician whose research in Autism made him the first person to describe the psychological traits of what would eventually be known as Asperger Syndrome.  Originally it was believed that Johann Asperger protected children under his medical care from being taken by the Nazi’s for their crazy “kill all the medically unfit” medical program.  However, new research into historical documents of that era, the results of which were published in the Molecular Autism journal, have found that Asperger may have not been as heroic as originally thought and may have recommended many of his patients to be sent to one of the Nazi euthanasia clinics in Austria.  This doesn’t really change the importance of Asperger’s work but it makes him seem much more opportunistic than originally thought.  (smithsonianmag.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/13/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THERE IS NO HENTAI COSPLAY AT EL PASO COMIC CON THIS YEAR, I WILL BE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED – It’s that time of the year again!  When costumed people and pervs who like hentai cosplay (but not me, other people) descend on Downtown for the annual El Paso Comic Con.  The celebration of comic books, science fiction, anime and other nerdtastic genres just keeps on growing and getting better every year and you should definitely check it out this weekend.  And if you are an attractive female, I highly recommend you give hentai cosplay a shot.  I really can’t stress that enough.  (elpasocomiccon.com)

EASTLAKE HAS FINALLY BEEN EXTENDED TO HORIZON BOULEVARD!  AND THE CITY OF HORIZON DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO RENAME IT SOMETHING STUPID TO GET THE JOB DONE – The work on Eastlake in Horizon City has finally been completed and the much used road has now been extended past Desert Mist Drive all the way to Horizon Boulevard near the high school.  The construction project was completed about 9 months ahead of schedule and gives the residents of Horizon another direct connection to I-10 and Socorro (granted, it’s a longer and loopier connection).  In addition, the mostly commercial development that will occur along this expanded road will bring a ton of tax revenue to the city and allow for more development.  In contrast, the Eastlake expansion in Socorro will finish 9 months behind schedule, over budget and renamed something asinine like Maya Mexica Cesar Chavez Raza Road 3000 Boulevard.  (cbs4local.com)

IN TYPICAL EL PASO NEWS, IDIOTS THAT BOUGHT HOUSES MERE FEET FROM I-10 AND OTHER MAJOR STREETS ARE ANGRY BECAUSE SOME BUSINESSES MAKE NOISE.  TO RECAP, IDIOTS BOUGHT HOUSES THAT ARE A FEW FEET FROM THE FUCKING FREEWAY AND THEY ARE MAD ABOUT NOISE AND TRAFFIC – The current city noise ordinance determines violations via the objective measurements from a sound level meter and are pretty clear on how loud something has to be to be considered a nuisance.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want special treatment and want a noise ordinance based on how many “buddies” they have in the government and the police department and calling them up to ask for a favor.  There’s nothing much to say other than this is comapdrismo at its finest and the fact that the city is even looking at a change speaks volumes about the good ol’ boy network that exists in the City of El Paso government.  Sadly some people believe that laws should be based on how many “buddies” you have at city hall and the police department.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

FUCK ASSAD!  THE BOMBS PROBABLY WON’T STOP SYRIA’S CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND THEY PROBABLY KNEW IN ADVANCE WHERE THE BOMBS WOULD LAND, BUT AT LEAST THEY DESTROYED SOME OF THE FUCKER’S SHIT – As a result of the Assad Government’s recent chemical attack in Syria, allied forces have launched a missile strike on Syria chemical weapon facilities.  Although reactions are mixed over America’s involvement in this bombing campaign, there was international consensus that something had to be done and destroying their chemical weapons facilities was the least the world could do to a scumbag like Assad.  Hopefully this doesn’t escalate into a unilateral, Iraq-style, Amercian clusterfuck in Syria – but with the idiot in the White House anything is possible.  (bbc.com)

SO, DOES THIS MEAN ECUADOR AND COLOMBIA WILL GO TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER? – The Ecuadorean government has confirmed that 3 journalists from Ecuador, who were recently abducted along the Colombian border, have been murdered.  The culprits are believed to be Farc rebels from Colombia who did not want to sign on to the recent peace agreement with Colombia and just decided to become a full blown drug cartel in control of the Ecuador/Colombia border.  Patrols will now increase in the increasingly dangerous border area as both countries try to work together to stop this from becoming a full blown military conflict involving two countries, drug dealers and ex-rebel groups.  See, Republicans, this is what a REAL fucked up border actually looks like.  (theguardian.com)

I GUESS ARGENTINIAN MICE REALLY LIKE WEED.  THEY REALLY, REALLY LIKE WEED – Police near Buenos Aires, Argentina have blamed mice for more than half a ton of missing marijuana at a police evidence warehouse.  Because this is an amazingly stupid excuse, eight police officers have been dismissed as an investigation looks at what really happened to the missing drugs.  But the fact that somebody thought that mice could eat that much pot without the mice suffering any adverse effects just boggles the mind.  Could mice really eat that much marijuana?  Is it even possible?  Maybe Argentinean police are on to something.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/06/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ONLY CANUTILLO COULD GENERATE THIS MUCH DRAMA OVER THE CONSTRUCTION OF A SCHOOL BARN – Who knew there could be this much backbiting and political posturing over a fucking barn?  The clusterfuck at the Canutillo School District continued this week as the proposed site of a school barn was moved from Garcia Elementary to Canutillo Middle School at the last minute.  The original barn was to be located near the property of a school board member who may or may not have benefited from construction at that location if it did go forward.  This was the spark that brought all the board’s animosity towards the surface and now we have this mess.  The district is now split into factions, officials have walked out of school board meetings and last minute changes are now being used to dick over other members.  And let’s not forget that the school district tried to stop development in the area because some members didn’t want “urban” homes to disturb their “rural” lifestyle.  Amazingly, it took a agriculture education barn to finally bring the incompetence at Canutillo central office to light.  And yes, the use of district funds to construct a barn is weird – but Canutillo is technically a rural district.  (cbs4local.com)

SELF DEFENSE IS NO OFFENSE – Hisaias Justo Lopez stabbed and killed Isaac Morales last year AFTER Morales chased him and he turned around and stabbed him, that much we know is true.  Unfortunately, the media is only giving one side of the story and trying to paint Isaac Morales as a hero because he was a Border Patrol agent.  Hisaias should be punished for killing someone, but at most it should be manslaughter and not some trumped up capital murder charge like the media is salivating for.  A bunch of drunks got in a fight outside a bar, as happens at most bars, and then one of them made the mistake of chasing down someone with a knife and died when the fucker being chased defended himself.  When drunks argue at a bar it’s not a matter of “who started what?” because the reason for stupid ass bar fights is usually something asinine like “Don’t stare at muh girl!” or “Dallas Cowboys are number one, bitch!”.  It’s a tragedy that someone died, but please stop mentioning that Isaac Morales was in the Border Patrol.  At that moment he wasn’t a Border Patrol agent but was just one person among a group of drunk individuals who got in a stupid bar fight and chased someone with a knife.  The media should tell all sides of the story instead of immediately creating a narrative that their aging audience will prefer.  (cbs4local.com)

TAKING A PAGE FROM FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S, EL PASO’S NEW GOAL IS TO SCARE CHILDREN INTO RECYCLING WITH THE HELP OF ANIMATRONIC RECYCLING BINS – The City of El Paso has a new mascot and this time it’s an animatronic recycling bin robot that looks happy but may just be using that as a façade to make you drop your guard.  Bleu, the curbside recycling robot, has been introduced by the city to try and educate kids on the wonders of recycling – and if that doesn’t work, to give kids nightmares if they don’t recycle.  It doesn’t say how much the Environmental Services Department spent on the robot.  But at a time when the city is thinking of downsizing the curbside recycling program because of cost issues, it’s quite amusing to see that they still have funds for essential items like recycling bin robots.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WOW, BRAZILIAN POLITICS ARE AMAZINGLY FUCKED UP!  AND EX-PRESIDENT LULA IS TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL – In one of the oddest moments seen in politics in years, Brazilian ex-president Luis Inacio Lula da Silva refused to turn himself in to authorities and instead went to a union building in Sao Paulo and refuses to come out.  He is set to start a 12 year prison sentence for corruption but it looks like he isn’t going down without some grandstanding.  Thousands of his supporters are surrounding the building thus making any show of force to capture him a very stupid and dangerous idea.  Lula is beloved by many for his programs to get people out of poverty, but he was also accused of wasting a ton of money and being corrupt.  Lula denies that he did anything wrong and that his trial was politically motivated and thus Brazil finds itself in this conundrum.  And though this is crazy, it gets even crazier when you realize that he is so well liked that he would probably win the presidential election if he were allowed to run.  Never stop being wacky, Brazilian politics.  (bbc.com)

WELL, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ILLEGALLY TAKE SOMEONE’S LAND AND FORCE THEM INTO A PRISON-LIKE GHETTO.  EVENTUALLY PEOPLE GET TIRED AND FIGHT BACK – Israeli troops have murdered dozens of protesters over the past few weeks as Palestinians have gathered on the non-official “border” in an attempt to get back to their ancestral lands.  Even though many of the Palestinians have actual legal documents from generations ago that state that it is their land, the Israeli government and friends still like to point at magical books and claim that it has more legal weight than actual deed and property records.  Even by the loosest interpretation of magical books, it’s really stretching it to think that the Hebrew tribes had that much of a authoritative presence beyond a few miles around Jerusalem.  So now we find ourselves in the usual position where Israel immediately calls anyone who disagrees with them as Hamas terrorists and where the Palestinians take things a little too far and vow to kill all the Jews.  So just another day in the Middle East.  (bbc.com)

ONE DAY HISTORY WILL LOOK BACK AND MARVEL THAT DENNIS RODMAN AND USB DRIVES WERE THE KEY TO UNIFYING SOUTH AND NORTH KOREA.  HISTORY IS WEIRD – North Korea and South Korea have been very chummy recently and things are starting to look up for a possible friendly relationship between the two countries and, hopefully, some type of long-term unification plan.  The always excellent Discover Magazine blog has an great article on how the small and efficient USB drive has been a God-send for people in North Korea who want a taste of the outside world and how the USB information wave led to the positive reaction of the audience at a recent K-Pop concert in Pyongyang.  Although the USB drive is an important piece of the puzzle, let us never forget Dennis Rodman’s role in opening up the lines of communication and the fact that Donald Trump is such a horrible and vile idiot that South Korea feels that it can negotiate more with Kim Jong Un than with whatever idiots Donald Trump has chosen to represent America in Korea.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/30/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EL PASO AND JUAREZ ARE “OFFICIALLY” SISTER CITIES!  THIS IS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR YEARS RANDOMLY DECIDE TO JUST GET THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE – Although most people know that El Paso and Juarez (and Las Cruces) make up the core of the Greater Mogollon region, the sister city/twin city designation was apparently never official.  That all changed this week with a signing ceremony at the Plaza De Los Lagartos that made the sister city agreement official and concluded the surprisingly complex “sister city” process that began last year.  As a result of the event, El Paso Mayor Dee Margo and Juarez Mayor Armando Cabada stated that they hope this helps bring a common vision to the area and strengthens economic ties in the region.  So basically everyone will keep on doing what they were already doing but now there will be a fancy framed certificate on the wall!  If not already, I hope Las Cruces gets in on the act and signs a sister cities agreement with both Juarez and El Paso.  We don’t want Las Cruces to get left out.  (cbs4local.com)

LOOKS LIKE SUNLAND PARK MALL ISN’T DEAD AFTER ALL – Kudos to the Kimmelman family for expanding their Starr Western Wear empire and helping the ailing Sunland Park Mall in the process.  They did this for business and financial reasons, obviously, but It is nice that a local company is one of the first major entities to step up and try to set up at the struggling mall.  The latest Starr Western Wear will take up the space where Macy’s used to be thanks to the Kimmelman’s buying up that empty space.  This news pretty much came out of nowhere but it is extremely welcome news.  Good luck to Starr Western Wear in their latest expansion.  I’m not much for western clothes, but I might just go buy a pair of new boots from the store once it opens up to support a great local business.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EVEN LAS CRUCES IS GETTING IN ON THIS CONSTRUCTION BOOM – Lost in all the news of development and store openings in Downtown El Paso and the rest of the city is the fact that Downtown Las Cruces is also going through its own redevelopment boom.  The two projects that are about to open in Downtown Las Cruces are the Amador Project and the new Las Cruces Visitor’s Center.  The Amador Project will bring a much needed late night venue to the area and will include a bar, restaurants and a rooftop lounge.  The Visitor’s Center will open next door and give people a taste of all there is to do in Las Cruces as well as offer shuttle rides to Spaceport America.  Things are looking up in the region and Las Cruces has some pretty cool projects coming up.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHEN YOU ARE OUT THIS WEEKEND, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT A SPACESHIP DOESN’T FALL ON YOUR HEAD – As is the custom with large space stations that go out of control, China’s Tiangong-1 Space Lab will fall to Earth and some portions of the craft will survive re-entry and make it to Earth’s surface.  Scientists are expecting the largest pieces to hit harmlessly in the ocean, but the cone of uncertainty is still a bit worrying.  So be careful out there and possibly wear a hat and take your umbrella just in case.  You can’t really trust a giant mass of space junk that lost control years ago.  (bbc.com)

I’LL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT AN EL PASO DUST STORM EVER AGAIN – If you thought the dust storms in the Chihuahuan Desert were bad, then thank your lucky stars that you don’t live in Beijing.  Not to be outdone by the weirdo wind storm that brought sand from the Sahara to parts of Europe, a massive sandstorm hit Northeast Asia and took aim right at Beijing and other cities in the vicinity.  The storm was so massive that it even reached Korea and Japan.  The sand was bad, but coupled with Beijing’s pollution this led to a very grim scenario for the Chinese capital.  So next time you get stuck in an El Paso dust storm, you can think of how good you have it compared to other dusty parts of the world.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

FACEBOOK IS FUCKING GARBAGE – There really is nothing more to say.  Facebook is really shitty.  Most social media companies are data mining assholes, but Facebook takes the skeeviness to a whole new level.  Not only do they not give a damn about the security of their users’ data, they practically sent out a memo that said that it was okay if people inadvertently died because of their service as long as they turned a profit.  Seriously, fuck this data mining social media bullshit.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/23/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

GOD BLESS THE WONDERFUL MONEY-MAKING PONIES AT SUNLAND PARK – It’s that time of the year again, it’s time for the annual Sunland Park Derby!  And there’s no equine herpes in sight to stop this one!  One of the most important sporting events in the region will take place this Sunday as ponies from around the country will race at the Sunland Derby in order to win large cash prizes totaling $800,000 and points to guarantee a place in the Kentucky Derby.  The favorite for this race is All Out Blitz, but we’ll all be rooting for home track favorite Runaway Ghost to make Sunland proud.  God speed, ponies!  (cbs4local.com)

WELCOME BACK, FANCY RENOVATED EL PASO STREETCARS – After an extensive restoration, the first of the six El Paso Streetcars that will be rolling around Downtown El Paso has come back from the Pennsylvania.  Most of the ground work is done on the El Paso Streetcar project and now the waiting game begins as the fancy renovated streetcars return and then are tested before the service can start back up later in the year.  Who knows how successful this service will be, but this revived streetcar looks pretty fucking cool.  (cbs4local.com)

IF THE NEW TEAM ISN’T NAMED THE EL PASO COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY UNITED, I WILL BE GREATLY DISAPPOINTED – They’re having a contest to name the new Division 2, Sub-MLS futball team that MountainStar is bringing to El Paso and we recommend that everyone enter the contest and come up with the dumbest name imaginable.  Bonus points if you can work in an arena/stadium/Duranguito reference into the name of the team.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WE SALUTE THE “MARCH FOR OUR LIVES” STUDENTS FOR THEIR FIGHT AGAINST ARCHAIC GUN LAWS AND THE NRA’S PROPAGANDA MACHINE – The “March For Our Lives” protest will be occurring on Saturday and hundreds of thousands of people are expected to gather in Washington D.C. and other cities to demand that proper government action is taken to prevent psychos and idiots from owning high powered weaponry.  While the students from Douglas High School and others are just looking for some action on the topic (as opposed to the decades of inaction by the NRA-controlled cowards in the government), this will be spinned by the alt-right and their fascist ilk into a “librul plan ta take muh guns” propaganda storm.  Let’s get one thing straight, the “March For Our Lives” protesters are pissed off but they don’t want to take all of your guns – they just want responsible action against highly unnecessary semi-automatic weapons.  You know, basic restrictions like the ones we currently have that prevent idiots from owning rocket launchers.  Technically rocket launchers count as “arms” and should be allowed under the Second Amendment.  (bbc.com)

MEANWHILE IN SPAIN, CATALONIA IS STILL PISSED OFF – Because things aren’t already tense enough, the Madrid government decided it would be a great idea to arrest five Catalan politicians for being “dangerous” separatist leaders.  By now it’s apparent to everyone that Catalonia will not resort to violent means to get their deserved freedom, but that doesn’t stop Madrid from taking the heavy handed approach in order to distract from the serious issues that are actually facing Spain.  Clashes have been reported in Barcelona between police and protesters and things are only getting more chaotic in Spain.  (bbc.com)

IT SEEMS THAT, ONCE UPON A TIME, A STAR CAME PARTICULARLY CLOSE TO THE SOLAR SYSTEM AND ACTUALLY INTERACTED WITH OUR SOLAR SYSTEM’S OORT CLOUD.  BUT DON’T GET TOO EXCITED, IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S PLANET X OR NIBIRU OR ANYTHING ……. OR IS IT? (CUE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES THEME) – Thanks to the tracking of weirdo space objects that have strange orbits in and out of the Solar System, astronomers in Europe have deduced that a large object may have come into the Oort Cloud about 70,000 years ago and caused some of the objects in this area to come into the Solar System.  This tracking prediction just happens to be supported by the discovery of Scholz’s Star a few years back and the determination that it came near the Solar System at roughly that same time and place.  At the moment this is just considered a highly coincidental correlation, but it makes for some very good circumstantial evidence.  We’re not saying that Catastrophism is accurate, but it might have some truth to it.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

TOURNAMENT OF FILM 2017 – Grand Prix Final / Blade Runner 2049 Vs. See You Up There (Au Revoir La-Haut)

We have finally reached the end of the 2017 Tournament Of Film.  Thanks for following along and be sure to watch all the great movies from 2017.

GRAND PRIX FINAL

Vs.

Blade Runner 2049 Vs. See You Up There (Au Revoir La-Haut)

ACTING

Advantage:  See You Up There

WRITING/DIALOGUE

Advantage:  See You Up There

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Advantage:  See You Up There

PRODUCTION DESIGN/VISUALS

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

SOUND/MUSIC

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

EDITING/PACING

Advantage:  See You Up There

STORY/MEANING

Advantage:  See You Up There

DIRECTING

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

TIME MANAGEMENT

Advantage:  See You Up There

LASTABILITY

TIE

A FILMS GOAL

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

 

FINAL SCORE

Blade Runner 2049 – 9

See You Up There (Au Revoir La-Haut) – 13 (2017 Grand Prix – Best Movie of 2017)

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CONGRATULATIONS TO SEE YOU UP THERE FOR BEING NAMED THE BEST MOVIE OF 2017!

 

And here’s the final tournament graphic so that you can enjoy the magic all over again.

Click to embiggen and revel in the full majesty of the 2017 Simple Minded Entertainment Tournament of Film.  Join us next year for more movie tournament action!

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/16/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

BILLY ABRAHAM IS SLOWLY RUNNING OUT OF HIS NINE LIVES AND SOON HE WILL LOSE MOST OF HIS REAL ESTATE EMPIRE IN EL PASO – After a legal fight with his creditors, who were seeking a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Mott has ordered a trustee to be assigned to sell off Billy Abraham’s 11 El Paso properties to pay off his $1.3 million debt to the relatives of Juan Gabriel and others.  Though his creditors argued that his finances and records were so muddled that more information was needed to determine how much he actually earns and what exactly it is he owns, it appears the judge will allow just the 11 registered Billy Abraham properties to be sold to cover his debts.  The money from the sale of the 11 buildings should be more than enough to cover the debt and Billy Abraham will live to fight another day with whatever businesses and real estate he has stuffed away in partnerships and corporations.  So though we are nearing the end of the nine lives of Billy Abraham, this is not the last you will hear of his wacky business adventures.  (cbs4local.com)

UTEP HAS A NEW BASKETBALL COACH!  LET’S HOPE THE NEW COACH CAN MANAGE A SEASON WITHOUT MULTIPLE PLAYERS LEAVING EVERY OTHER WEEK – Let the next chapter of UTEP Basketball begin.  Rodney Terry has left Fresno State and will be the new head basketball coach at UTEP.  He had some success at Fresno and felt that he had done all he could at Fresno State; either that or he was just looking for an excuse to get out of Fresno.  Good luck to new coach Rodney Terry and hopefully he can take UTEP out of the athletic doldrums they are currently in.  The next few seasons will be a rebuilding period, but if he can get the team to at least the NIT on an yearly basis after a few years that would be a major improvement.  It’s Confernece USA, a storied program like UTEP has no excuse not to get into at least the NIT on an yearly basis.  (cbs4local.com)

VERONICA ESCOBAR WON THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY WITH OVER 60 PERCENT OF THE VOTE AND BEAT THE CLOSEST COMPETITOR BY MORE THAN 20 PERCENTAGE POINTS.  SOMEHOW, NORMA CHAVEZ THINKS THIS MEANS THAT THERE WAS “HACKING” INVOLVED AND HER LACK OF VOTES IS NOT BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE CITY THINK SHE IS AN IDIOT – If you ever needed proof that most of the people who run for public office in El Paso are crazy idiots, look no further than the latest publicity stunt by Norma Chavez, Enrique Garcia and John Carrillo.  Normally election fraud is alleged when it is a close race and a few votes are moved to swing an election.  When you are leading in the polls and win by more than twenty percentage points it would be pretty stupid and a bit of overkill to engage in “hard drive hacking” as alleged by Norma Chavez and friends.  This scheme is so stupid and absurd that even 2nd place finisher Dori Fenenbock is staying out of the whole mess and Fenenbock took part in the almost as stupid Children’s Hospital publicity stunt that the idiot posse put together just before the election.  If anything, you can always count on El Paso politics to have a little crazy and stupid thrown in to make things entertaining.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA IS FINALLY BEING PROSECUTED FOR CORRUPTION ALMOST A DECADE AFTER THE ALLEGED GRAFT AND RACKETEERING OCCURRED.  IF SOUTH AFRICA CAN DO IT, SO CAN AMERICA.  LET’S JUST HOPE IT’S SOONER THAN A DECADE FOR THE IDIOT IN THE WHITE HOUSE TO FACE THE MUSIC – When not dealing with water shortages and the killing of random white farmers, the people of South Africa have to deal with corruption and incompetence from their leaders.  But things are looking up.  President Zuma was forced to resign his presidency last month and now the new leadership is pursuing the corruption allegations that have plagued Zuma and his cronies for years.  None of this will bring the water back, end the prejudice or fix the economy any time soon – but it’s a start.  Let’s hope that the saying “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” also applies to nations.  (Bloomberg.com)

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, BENDER IS DRINKING A FORTY IN HONOR OF STEPHEN HAWKING – Famed Futurama character, and brilliant physicist, Stephen Hawking has died.  In addition to being a character on Futurama and The Simpsons, Stephen Hawking is best known for his work with relativity and quantum mechanics as well as his insight into black holes.  At age 22 he was given only a few years to live as he gradually lost most of his physical control to a rare disease and had to depend on a motorized wheelchair to move around and a computerized voice to speak.  He proved those doctors wrong and lived to age 78 and managed to produce some of his most important work after that time.  Perhaps more amazing than any of his work in physics is that he managed to leave his wife and shack up with another woman all while in this condition.  He had game.  Rest in Peace, Stephen Hawking.  (bbc.com)

THAT SWEEPING SOUND YOU HERE IS AUSTIN AUTHORITIES TRYING TO SWEEP THE TERRORIST MAIL BOMBINGS UNDER THE RUG IN ORDER NOT TO DISTURB THE ONGOING GENERIC CORPORATE MEDIA EVENT #1138 2018 TAKING PLACE IN AUSTIN AT THIS TIME – Terrorist mail bombings have occurred multiple times this month in Austin, killing 2 people and injuring others.  Because the victims are minorities and the bomb senders have not been identified as Muslims and/or immigrants, no one seems to care and this is just being considered a “random crime”.  But rest assured, if random white people had been targeted by Muslim immigrants then Donald Trump himself would have tweeted about this for 5 days straight and this week’s Generic Corporate Media Event #1138 2018 would have been cut short.  (cbs4local.com)

 

TOURNAMENT OF FILM 2017 – Semifinal #2 / Drama Vs. Popcorn Movie

SEMIFINAL #2

DRAMA VS. POPCORN MOVIE

Vs.

Borg Vs. McEnroe (14 – Drama) Vs. Blade Runner 2049 (11 – Popcorn Movie)

ACTING

Advantage:  Borg Vs. McEnroe

WRITING/DIALOGUE

TIE

CINEMATOGRAPHY

Advantage:  Borg Vs. McEnroe

PRODUCTION DESIGN/VISUALS

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

SOUND/MUSIC

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

EDITING/PACING

Advantage:  Borg Vs. McEnroe

STORY/MEANING

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

DIRECTING

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

TIME MANAGEMENT

Advantage:  Borg Vs. McEnroe

LASTABILITY

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

A FILMS GOAL

Advantage:  Blade Runner 2049

 

FINAL SCORE

Borg Vs. McEnroe (14 – Drama) – 9

Blade Runner 2049 (11 – Popcorn Movie) – 13 (Advances to Final)

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THE TOURNAMENT CONTINUES!