Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/28/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT WOULD BE AN INJUSTICE IF JEFFERSON HIGH SCHOOL DIDN’T NAME IT’S NEW STADIUM AFTER EDDIE GUERRERO – After decades of having to play “home games” at Bowie High School, Jefferson will finally get a stadium starting in the 2017-2018 school year.  The stadium doesn’t have a name yet and the district is working out the details, but it would be a travesty if the stadium were not named after Eddie Guerrero.  I can’t think of any famous football or track athletes to come out of Jefferson, but Eddie Guerrero was on the Jefferson wrestling team and eventually became a professional wrestling champion and a WWE legend.  Sure, wrestling doesn’t happen on the field but it’s still a part of Jefferson’s athletic legacy.  And for those of you who say professional wrestling isn’t a real sport, feel free to get in the ring and let the wrestlers know how you feel.  Let’s make Eddie Guerrero Stadium a reality!  And if you go by Wikipedia, the only other famous Jefferson alum is Richard Ramirez the Night Stalker.  So Jefferson either names its stadium after Eddie Guerrero or a serial killer.  Hopefully Jefferson High School makes the right choice.  (kvia.com)

A GREAT WEEKEND FOR WATER LEVELS AT ELEPHANT BUTTE MAKES FOR A NOT SO GREAT WEEKEND FOR RV CAMPERS PLACED TO CLOSE TO THE WATER – Officials at Elephant Butte Dam say the lake is at the highest level seen in 8 years and the waters continue to rise thanks to the high amount of snow that fell in the winter up north that is finally melting and flowing to the Rio Grande.  The lake is over 24% full and increased flow should make the levels rise until it reaches its peak in the summer.  This is great news for a region that has been hit by drought and dry conditions over the past few years.  This is, however, bad news for people that decided to put their vehicles and campers close to the water days in advance in anticipation of Memorial Day crowds.  The rising waters mean that some of these people will arrive to partially submerged property once they get back to the lake.  But if ending the drought means a bunch of dumbasses get their fancy camping equipment flooded, then so be it.  (kvia.com)

IT’S LIKE CANNES IN THE DESERT – The 6th annual EPISD Student Film Festival was held recently and the submitted films have been placed online.  Hundreds of films and videos were submitted by students from around the region and the results are pretty damn good.  Though the festival comes in under the radar, the films and students deserve much more attention than they currently get.  So if you have some time, go to the official film festival website to check out the selected submissions and find your own favorites.  I recommend the fake movie trailers.  Some of those trailers are so good I’m actually disappointed that I’m not able to see the fake movies they are advertising.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WORLD’S DUMBEST TERRORIST ATTACKS ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT.  YES, THE STRATEGICALLY SIGNIFICANT AND EXTREMELY IMPORTANT ARIANA GRANDE CONCERT – Tragedy struck in Manchester when an idiot suicide bomber blew himself up outside of an Ariana Grande concert as fans were starting to leave the arena.  Of all the important political meetings and events occurring in Europe this week, a suicide bomber decided to end his life attacking a fucking Ariana Grande concert.  If they weren’t so stupid and worthless, terrorists might be an actual threat to the government and western society as a whole.  Fuck the terrorists and long live all the innocent people who died in Manchester this week.  (bbc.com)

YOU MEAN I NOW HAVE TO WORK UNTIL I’M 70 TO GET A CUSHY RETIREMENT?  I QUIT.  I’M JUST GOING TO BUY A BUNCH OF LOTTERY TICKETS AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS – According to the World Economic Forum, the increase of life expectancy in the developed nations to 100+ levels is having a serious impact to retirement ages.  It is recommended that retirement ages be raised to at least 70 in most developed nations to try and minimize the impact of rising life expectancy around the world.  Even then, the rate of young workers to retirees is getting smaller and drastic changes will have to be made to our system to ensure that retirement plans exist for future generations.  To summarize, unless all the old people die from some crazy pandemic … we are screwed.  (bbc.com)

FIRST THE ROBOTS CONQUERED CHESS, THEN THE ROBOTS CONQUERED GO AND NEXT THE ROBOTS WILL CONQUER LIFE ITSELF – Google’s AlphaGo AI super program has defeated many great human Go players and it can now add the world number one, Ke Jie, to its list of victories.  Google’s DeepMind has already reached the peak of Go artificial intelligence and now the world of AI research seeks to find the next peak to climb.  I recommend that the next game they take on is Battletoads for the NES, that game is hard.  Many people fear the rise of artificial intelligence but I, for one, welcome our new game playing robot overlords.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/21/2017

PASO DEL NORTE CENTRIC-NEWS

I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WOULD BE OUTLIVED BY THE BRASS ASP.  IN FACT, SCIENTISTS ORIGINALLY BELIEVED THAT ONLY A METEOR IMPACT COULD DESTROY THE BRASS ASP.  HOW WRONG WE ALL WERE – The Brass Asp and five other central El Paso bars are “no more” as a TABC investigation has found illegal activity in the bars that required them to be shut down.  Although not caught in any “alcohol related” offenses, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission found that employees at these places were engaging in illegal drug sales inside the premises and it was prevalent enough that they decided to shut them down.  The TABC don’t fuck around and all bar owners should make sure that they don’t put their business at the hands of people who would be this bad at decision making.  To make matters worse, the bars were within 1,000 feet of “drug-Free Zones”, such as schools or daycares, and that made the punishment that much more severe.  A reminder that even though these places were less than a 1,000 feet from a school, the bars never abducted any children or forcefully gave them alcohol and forced them to work as prostitutes.  “Drug-Free Zones” and school zoning laws – fear mongering at its finest!  Rest in peace, sketchy central El Paso bars.  If anything, maybe Max Grossman will start a petition to save the historic Brass Asp Bar, which has the same amount of history as “Duranguito” and doesn’t need a fake marketing name.  (kvia.com)

AFTER MORE THAN A CENTURY, A RECENTLY DISCOVERED DOCUMENT MIGHT FINALLY SHED SOME LIGHT AS TO WHO REALLY KILLED PAT GARRETT.   EVEN WITHOUT KIKI VIGIL, THE DONA ANA COUNTY SHERIFF’S MANAGED TO TURN A CASE WITH A FULL CONFESSION INTO AN ACQUITTAL AND A CONSPIRACY THEORY CLUSTERFUCK – A document recently unearthed in the Dona Ana County archives promises to shed new light on the murder of Pat Garrett back in 1908.  The coroner’s jury report was found in an un-archived box and is one of the few official documents that have information on the murder.  Pat Garrett gained recognition as a lawman when he killed Billy the Kid, but his life was marred with financial troubles and his life ended when he got involved in a skeevy land deal involving goats and some of the more sketchy residents of southern New Mexico.  The same sketchy residents that were friends with Albert “Teapot Dome Scandal” Fall and that were loosely involved in all the hazy happenings in the area at the time, including the disappearance of Albert Jennings Fountain.  Even though Jesse Wayne Brazel confessed to the killing, he was STILL acquitted and a mystery developed regarding what happened that day in 1908.  Even back then, Dona Ana County Sheriffs and prosecutors were already finding ways to mess up cases and let killers go free.   With this find, Dona Ana County hopes to secure more funding to restore this, and other, historical documents and increase its search for other antique treasures in its archives.  The document is set to be officially unveiled this summer in case any history buffs want to take a look.  (lcsun-news.com)

AS ONE TIGER PASSES AWAY AT THE EL PASO ZOO, TWO WHITE TIGERS ARE BORN IN SAN JORGE ZOO IN JUAREZ.  IT’S ALMOST POETIC – El Paso Zoo’s Belahat the tiger passed away last week at the age of 18.  He had suffered from kidney disease for the past two years and just wasn’t able to recover from the most recent troubles he had with the disease.  But don’t feel too bad, he lived a decent amount of time in tiger years and sired 4 male and 3 female cubs in his lifetime.  So he did his part.  And in more happier local tiger news, 2 white tiger cubs were born in the San Jorge Zoo recently and the zoo is celebrating their arrival.  The cubs were born to Jazmin Tigre and Sascha Tigre and the whole tiger family is doing well and on display at the zoo.  The cubs don’t have names yet, but the zoo is planning on holding a contest for local schoolchildren to submit their suggestions soon.  We recommend the names “Pancho Pantera” for a boy cub and “Niurka” for a girl cub – kids, start stuffing the ballot box with those names NOW!  So make sure you visit the El Paso Zoo and the San Jorge Zoo if you like tigers of all colors.  (elpasoproud.com / cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

LOOKS LIKE WE MIGHT BE GETTING A NEW REVOLUTION IN AFRICA.  HOPEFULLY THIS DOESN’T END BADLY LIKE THE PAST 500 “REVOLUTIONS” THAT HAVE OCCURRED IN AFRICA – In what is perhaps one of the largest prison breaks in history, sources say that over 3,000 prisoners escaped from Makala Prison in Democratic Republic of Congo last week.  What makes this prison break so important is that the religious/political/revolutionary group Bundu Dia Kongo is believed to be responsible for the attack on the prison and that the escapees include Ne Muanda Nsemi, who is considered a major leader of the group, and many of his followers.  Bundu Dia Kongo seeks to “revive” the ancient Kongo Kingdom in parts of DR Congo and surrounding countries.  One cannot condemn a group of people for trying to claim their sovereignty, so let’s just hope this is a noble fight and not a shameless excuse for ethnic cleansing as has been seen in most “revolutions” in the last few decades.  (bbc.com)

CHRIS CORNELL IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE CHRIS CORNELL – Chris Cornell was a legendary rocker that had enormous success with Soundgarden, Audioslave and as a solo artist.  He was one of the founding fathers of Seattle’s grunge music scene and was instrumental in the alternative music boom of the 1990s.  Tragically, Chris Cornell died last week and it is alleged that he committed suicide, adding yet another casualty from the list of grunge pioneers.  I grew up during the heyday of that amazing ‘90s alternative music scene and Chris Cornell and Soundgarden were one of the nostalgic musical highlights of my youth.  His amazing voice transcended rock music and he will be dearly missed.  Rest in peace, Chris Cornell.  (bbc.com)

FOR THOSE KEEPING TRACK, THAT WEIRDO STAR THAT DOES WEIRD THINGS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE RELATED TO ALIENS IS STILL DOING WEIRD THINGS – Star KIC 8462852 (aka Tabby’s Star, aka WTF Star) is a star that has defied explanation and that has been observed to dim up to 20% by something larger than a planet.  To date, there have been many theories to explain its behavior but nothing has really been finalized.  The thing is so weird that a theory involving aliens creating a Dyson Sphere around the object is just as viable as most other theories.  Well, it’s still doing weird things and it has started to dim all over again – so act accordingly.  I vote for giant cosmic cloud made of a weirdo substance as the source of the dimming, but it would be pretty cool if the source was a giant alien structure.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/14/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ALL HAIL NOLAN RICHARDSON!  THE NEW KING OF THE SEGUNDO BARRIO! – Congratulations to Nolan Richardson who was named the Segundo Barrio person of the year and was honored with a parade this weekend.  Nolan Richardson grew up in the Segundo Barrio neighborhood and went on to play basketball at UTEP, coached at Bowie and then had a hall of fame career at the University of Arkansas where he won a national championship.  Nolan Richardson is one of the city’s favorite sons and it’s good to see his old neighborhood honor him in such a great way.  (kvia.com)

BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION IN THE UPCOMING MAYORAL RUNOFF ELECTION IS “WHICH CANDIDATE IS THE BOYS & GIRLS CLUB OF EL PASO ENDORSING?” – Things were going nice and civilized in the one on one mayoral match-up between Dee Margo and David Saucedo, but once the current mayor and six city representatives endorsed Dee Margo – David Saucedo threw a tantrum.  Seriously, minutes after the vast majority of the city government said that Dee Margo would be the best choice for mayor, David Saucedo started accusing the city government and staff of corruption and implied that Dee Margo was a part of the corruption and would make things even more corrupt in City Hall.  David Saucedo offered no evidence for his stupid allegations (probably because he pulled the “information” out of his ass during the tantrum) and started babbling about anonymous sources that were too scared to come forward about city inspectors and staff taking bribes to get things done.  If he does know about specific acts of corruption in the city, he should go to the authorities immediately or he would be considered to be aiding in the alleged corruption.  But since he’s just making things up in a desperate attempt to get votes, it’s best just to ignore him.  Along with his creepy “Old Guy Trying To Fit In At Tipsy Tiger” look, it’s almost as if David Saucedo is doing everything in his power to turn people off and lose the election.  This can’t be stressed enough, David Saucedo is coming off as less likable than a guy who referred to the ugly, overkill border security near the Segundo Barrio as a fucking “Freedom Fence”!  (kvia.com)

EARLY REPORTS SUGGEST THAT AN EL PASO POLICE OFFICER FLIPPED HIS CAR ON SCHUSTER BECAUSE WAS CHASING A BALD HEADED MAN IN A NEON COLORED MUSTANG WHO WAS DRIVING “FURIOUSLY FAST” – El Paso police officer J. Andrew Morales lost control of his vehicle and flipped it over near El Paso High School because he was driving too fast and not paying attention.  There was no other cars involved and there is no logical reason why someone would be driving that fast on a residential street, but the officer still managed to do it.  If he can’t blame the wreck on a cool car chase he should just double down and tell people he was practicing to be in the next Fast and the Furious movie – SCENIC DRIVE DRIFT!  The officer was cited for “failure to control speed” which will be rapidly dismissed once it goes to court.  At least he wasn’t drunk, because drunk driving is apparently the only thing that causes any outrage among El Paso’s ankle biters.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC

PHISHING SCHEMES ARE SO 2016, RANSOMWARE IS THE HIP NEW THING THAT ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING – A massive worldwide computer attack occurred this weekend as businesses and government offices in over 100 countries have been hit by a ransom parasite that locks and encrypts files on a computer and asks for bitcoin in order to unlock them.  The attackers are unknown at this time, but they are pretty cheap considering that they are only asking for the equivalent of around $300 in bitcoin to “unlock” the files.  Lazy hackers, back in my day hackers used to work hard and con people in elaborate phishing schemes to scam companies out of millions of dollars.  Nowadays they just download ransomware programs stolen from the American government and get paid in their fancy pants bitcoin.  Get off my lawn, hackers!  (bbc.com)

WHILE AMERICA WANTS TO BUILD WALLS AND ALIENATE ALL ITS NEIGHBORS, CHINA IS NOW WORKING TO IMPROVE ROADS AND INFRASTRUCTURE FOR NEIGHBORING COUNTRIES IN ORDER TO ENCOURAGE TRADE AND PROSPERITY.  I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SEE THE DAY THAT AMERICA WOULD BE THE CLOSE-MINDED AUTHORITARIAN AND THAT CHINA WOULD BE THE OPEN-MINDED CHAMPION OF FREE TRADE AND PEACE – China has pledged $124 billion for their long gestating Belt and Road initiative that seeks to improve transportation and trade between China, the rest of Asia, Europe and Africa.  Part of the funding will include aid for less prosperous countries in order for them to improve ports, roads and other critical infrastructure.  Chinese President Xi Jinping has long stressed the importance of trade and the belief that China should aid other countries without getting involved in their internal affairs.  Contrast this with the Donald Trump shit show and its fear mongering and obsession with walls and you start to wonder who is the progressive, democratic leader and who is the authoritarian?  Hell, even the Communist party doesn’t allow a leader to fire someone that is investigating them for treasonous actions.  (bbc.com)

I LIKE TO THINK THAT ROBERT MILES FLOATED UP TO HEAVEN AS AN ARMY OF ANGEL DJS PLAYED “CHILDREN” – Acclaimed DJ, Robert Miles, passed away earlier in the week after a tough bout with cancer.  DJ Robert Miles, born Roberto Concina, was a Swiss/Italian electronic music maestro who is best known for his epic track “Children”.  He had an amazing career with many electronica hits and contributions to film soundtracks.  He was a pioneer in trance music and the electronic music scene and also had a profound social impact through his music.  Be sure to read the full BBC article on his passing which includes an excellent story on how “Children” came about and how the song helped save lives during the hectic rave scene of the ‘90s.  Rest in peace, Robert Miles.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/07/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE FIRST ROUND OF ELECTIONS ARE IN THE BOOKS AND IT LOOKS LIKE MOST OF THE RATIONAL CHOICES EITHER WON OR HOLD A LEAD HEADING INTO THE RUNOFF ELECTIONS.  THANK GOD – Dee Margo was the top vote-getter in the El Paso mayoral election, but just missed the 50% cutoff to avoid a runoff and must now face David Saucedo in the final match-up to determine who will be El Paso’s next mayor.  Yup, the same David Saucedo who was deeply involved in the Boys & Girls Club of El Paso during the years when it suddenly became an inefficient mess and who was the “leader” of the non-profit in those final moments when it went headlong into the abyss.  To his credit, Dee Margo has never done something that amazingly incompetent and by default should get everyone’s vote.  Among the other elections, most of the rational candidates ended up with the most votes and have a healthy lead heading into the runoff.  God willing, none of the attention seekers who have made “save the neighborhood, say NO to the arena” their only campaign issue will be elected to office.  It really is amazing when someone from a district that is miles away from downtown decides to spend 90% of their time talking about how the arena should move to the Cohen Stadium site even though none of those areas would have any impact on their district.  But in happier news, Lily Limon lost her city council seat and we anxiously await to see who will wear the crown of most incompetent council member now that she is gone.  GO OUT AND VOTE ON JUNE 10 – THE CITY STILL NEEDS YOUR VOTES TO ELECT THE MOST COMPETENT AND RATIONAL INDIVIDUALS TO OFFICE!  (kvia.com)

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT TEXAS TECH IS EXPANDING THEIR MEDICAL SCHOOL WITH THE ADDITION OF AN $83 MILLION BUILDING OFF ALAMEDA.  THE BAD NEWS IS THAT THEY USED EMINENT DOMAIN TO BUY OUT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE IN THAT AREA – It’s good to see that Texas Tech plans to expand its research capabilities at their central El Paso medical school, but it still sucks that they keep on using eminent domain in the area to transform the area in their image.  Where are all those “Save The Barrio” and “Anti-Arena” types when it comes to the neighborhoods around Jefferson High School?  I guess the Union Plaza area is more important than central El Paso.  The growth of the medical school shows the bittersweet side of progress, but it is nice to see the medical school/research campus start to grow in this often neglected part of the city.  (elpasoinc.com)

THE RIO VISTA FARM IS STILL ON TRACK TO BE PRESERVED AS A HISTORIC LANDMARK.  THIS BEING SOCORRO, IT’S ALSO POSSIBLE THAT THE PROJECT WILL COLLAPSE IN THE LAST MINUTE AND THEY’LL JUST BUILD A MINI-MALL COMPLETE WITH A BIG 8, A WHATABURGER, A FAMILY DOLLAR AND 20 RANDOM MEXICAN RESTAURANTS – One of the few bright spots among the Socorro government’s constant stream of scandals is the city’s push to restore the Rio Vista Farm and create a historic attraction in the process.  $50,000 in state and federal grants have recently been secured for the project and the planning stage is well on its way for this great development.  Let’s just hope the city doesn’t change its mind and decides to turn the land into an ineffective drainage pond instead.  (kfoxtv.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THIS WEEKEND, THE FRENCH PEOPLE DECIDED TO USE THEIR BRAINS WHILE VOTING AND ELECTED A COMPETENT INDIVIDUAL OVER AN OVERBEARING, RACIST MORON WHO WANTED TO BLAME ALL THEIR PROBLEMS ON OUTSIDERS.  MEANWHILE, IN AMERICA … – Emmanuel Macron has been elected president of France after defeating nationalist Marine Le Pen this weekend.  Macron was a centrist candidate who stood against most of Le Pen’s vile and ignorant views about “outsiders” and her skewed view of the problems facing the world.  He received over 66% of the vote and many saw this as a referendum against horrible “nationalist” movements that had swept through England and America over the last year and threatened to spread to other developed nations.  Now the tough part starts for Macron and it appears he will need to form a coalition of different parties to run the government because his party is so new that it has no representatives in the government and getting a majority in the next election will be a tough challenge.  Good luck, Monsieur Macron.  (bbc.com)

FOR GLOBAL WARMING’S NEXT TRICK, IT WILL CHOP OFF A HUGE CHUNK OF ANTARCTICA CREATING THE WORLD’S LARGEST ICEBERG – A massive 110 mile long crack in an ice shelf in Antarctica is rapidly widening and this will soon lead to massive chunk of ice sliding off the continent and into the ocean.  This event will push sea level rise, impact climate and ocean temperature in the area, confuse satellites and cause mapmakers to go back to their workshops and re-draw Antarctica.  There is very little that can be done to stop this and scientists are just monitoring the situation and hoping that the breakage slows down.  This isn’t an end of the world scenario, but it goes to show the many changes that global warming can cause on a global scale.  It’s amazing that even with things like this in the news, people still refuse to acknowledge that global warming exists.  Then again, these are the same people that believe the Devil is responsible for homosexuality.  Because Lucifer has nothing better to do than to go down to Buttfuck, Alabama and tell people where to stick their dicks.  (bbc.com)

THIS IS PROBABLY A LOW POINT FOR THE REPUBLICAN PARTY, BUT THE NIGHT IS STILL YOUNG – This week, Republican congressmen banded together to “kill” Obamacare even though few, if any, of them had read the bill that would take health care away from many innocent people.  To summarize, most of the Republicans in Congress would gladly let people die just so they can lick Donald Trump’s ass and make him feel good.  This is pretty horrible, but it should be noted that many Republican Congressmen voted against the bill and the bill is already being viewed with contempt by many people on both sides in the Senate.  Now we wait to see if the Senate will modify the bill to try and force it through or if they will actually do the decent thing and allow the thing to die so that sick people don’t have to lose their health insurance.  Here’s hoping the Republicans in the Senate have balls, brains and heart – because the ones in Congress are practically Ken dolls in Donald Trump’s toy box.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 04/30/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TO ALL FIVE PEOPLE WHO VOTE IN EL PASO, DON’T FORGET TO VOTE IN THIS SATURDAY’S MAYORAL/COUNCIL ELECTIONS.  WE HAVE A GOOD SHOT OF KICKING MORONS OUT OF OFFICE AND ELECTING COMPETENT INDIVIDUALS – The El Paso Mayoral and City Council Elections are this Saturday, May 6, and the city has a shot to remove some speed bumps in the current government and replace them with qualified people who can make a difference and not spend all their time bitching and flip flopping on the location of the arena.  Voting isn’t very popular in El Paso, sadly, and some of these elections will be decided by hundreds of votes or less!  So please go out and vote.  In local elections your vote DOES make a difference.  I won’t tell you how to vote, but as a public service I WILL tell you who you shouldn’t vote for in the major elections:

MAYOR – Don’t vote for David Saucedo

DISTRICT 2 – Vote for anyone BUT Jim Tolbert

DISTRICT 7 – Please, for the love of God, don’t vote for Lily Limon

(epcountyvotes.com)

THE IMPORTANT THING IS THAT HE DIDN’T GET DRAFTED BY THE DALLAS COWBOYS OR NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.  AT LEAST AARON JONES GETS TO BE ON A LIKABLE TEAM – The wait is over and Aaron Jones has been drafted by the Green Bay Packers in the 5th round of the NFL Draft.  Aaron Jones is a 100% El Paso machine that dominated at running back for Burges and UTEP and will be hoping to do the same for the Packers.  Hopefully this is a sign of things to come and we’ll see more El Paso athletes reach the professional level.  Good luck, Mr. Jones.  (cbs4local.com)

WET N WILD IS GETTING A NEW RIDE!  HOORAY!  NOW IF THEY CAN JUST BUILD A NICER PARKING LOT – Wet N Wild has been a hallmark of summer fun for decades in Paso Del Norte and their latest expansion is one of the more impressive projects they have done in quite some time.  Jaguar Falls (not to be confused with Jaguars Gold Club on Gateway West, another type of wet ride) will open in late May/early June and the group raft slide will be the biggest attraction in the park yet.  Construction is still ongoing, but in a few weeks there will be another cool ride that you can check out when you go out to the park.  Kudos, Wet N Wild for staying strong for more than 30 years!  Western Playland, the ball is now in your court to build a cool ride.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

I’M GUESSING RECEP ERDOGAN GOT MAD WHEN WIKIPEDIA DIDN’T LET HIM CHANGE HIS ENTRY TO ADD THAT HE HAS “A GIANT 18-INCH PENIS” AND IS “THE LEGITIMATE RULER OF TURKEY” – This weekend, Turkey decided to “temporarily block” access to Wikipedia throughout the country for no apparent reason and with no actual court order.  Even China and Russia make a half-assed effort to only “hinder” Wikipedia and not block it completely.  Even by authoritarian standards, Turkey is going off the rails in spectacular fashion.  It’s not like Wikipedia is “western propaganda”.  As long as you have facts and sources you can go ahead and change anything on Wikipedia ……. ANYTHING!  Any idiot can put things on Wikipedia as long as there is a modicum of truth to it!  Wait, that’s the problem – things have to be somewhat truthful to be listed on Wikipedia.  Hope Erdogan is having fun oppressing the truth and running his country into the ground.  (bbc.com)

IF ANYTHING CAN GET AUTISTIC INDIVIDUALS TO CONQUER THEIR SOCIAL PHOBIAS, IT’S ECSTASY.  MOLLY CAN MAKE ANYONE WANT TO PARTY – A study by Alicia Danforth and Charles Grob with the Los Angeles Biomedical Research Institute has shown that MDMA (aka Ecstasy or Molly) has reduced anxiety and social phobias among people with Autism.  Although this is only the beginning of the research, the results are promising.  Coupled with therapy, the use of these drugs can be extremely useful when treating severe social anxiety in people with Autism and others.  Damn, even the “evil drugs” seem to have a useful purpose when regulated.  America’s “War on Drugs” gets dumber and dumber every year with each new study and their resulting facts and statistics.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

AFTER AN EXTENDED DICK MEASURING CONTEST, NOW AMERICA IS WILLING TO NEGOTIATE WITH NORTH KOREA.  EVEN TWO KIDS WITH ADHD IN AN ARGUMENT ARE MORE CONSISTENT THAN KIM JONG UN AND DONALD TRUMP – In keeping with its current wacko leadership, the US government is now saying that it wants to negotiate with North Korea over its nuclear weapons program; this after it sent warships into the area, engaged in massive military drills with South Korea and implied it would bomb North Korea preemptively if they didn’t stop their nuclear weapons program.  So it appears the strategy to deal with North Korea is to just throw shit on the wall and see what sticks.  At least Kim Jong Un is consistent with his stupidity, Donald Trump just seems to be making it up as he goes along.  Oh well, Seoul doesn’t have massive Trump “investments” so it’s of no concern to Washington if that’s the main target of any North Korean retaliation.  Pray for Seoul.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 04/23/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

JOHNNY FLOREZ IS A LEGEND IN LAS CRUCES, AND THE SURROUNDING REGION, AND HE NEEDS A HELPING HAND.  LET’S PAY OUR RESPECTS TO THE MAN WHILE HE IS LIVING – Johhny Florez is a mariachi ambassador who has been playing in Las Cruces, and beyond, for decades and who has been a fan of the genre for more than 85 years.  He’s such an influence on the Las Cruces music scene that the city gave him his own day in 2014.  Johnny Florez has been fighting cancer for the past few years and now he needs help with some payments.  It’s tough to be handling a major disease and having to struggle with your bills and it is a very humbling experience to ask for help.  So for everything he has done, the entire community of Las Cruces and across the region should dig into their pockets and give him a little help if they can.  More information can be found at the link.  (kfoxtv.com)

STOP ME IF YOU’VE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE.  LOU FERRIGNO AND AARON JONES WALK INTO A BAR – El Paso Comic Con came and went this weekend and it was a pretty good event.  One of the more amusing side anecdotes of the whole thing involved Lou Ferrigno (The Hulk) showing up for a pre-NFL Draft party at Spirit of ‘66 to support UTEP running back Aaron Jones as he attempts to enter into professional football.  He apparently gave Jones some words of advice and the whole things sounds pretty cool.  So mark your calendars for next year’s El Paso Comic Con, because you never know what random adventures will be had in local bars involving celebrities and UTEP athletes.  Also, good luck to Aaron Jones at this week’s NFL Draft.  (elpasoproud.com)

IF YOU’RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND RELICS, IT IS LIKE THE CHURCH’S VERSION OF POKEMON ……. BUT WITH HOLY OBJECTS! – A good portion of Catholic churches have relics within them that represent holy artifacts from the history of Catholicism and most are out in the open available for viewing to all.  The churches in El Paso are no exception and many feature unique relics within their walls.  The  El Paso Herald Post website has an excellent photo essay and article on some of the relics found in a few of the local churches that cannot be missed.  If you love history, religion or just like to see unique things; a tour of El Paso’s religious relics is something that might be right up your alley.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THAT THINGS COULDN’T GET ANY WORSE IN VENEZUELA ……. THINGS HAVE GOTTEN WORSE IN VENEZUELA – After three weeks of increasingly violent protests in Venezuela that have left multiple people dead, it seems like the whole country has gone to the streets demanding an end to the current shit show of an administration that is “leading” the country.  Just look at any of the pictures or videos online from the weekend protests and you will see a massive sea of people marching in cities all around Venezuela.  Even someone as stubborn and deluded as President Nicolas Maduro is getting nervous over this and is trying to establish talks with the opposition.  But it’s probably a little too late for “talks” and the masses in Venezuela might finally have enough support to overthrow the morons that are running the country into the ground.  (bbc.com)

FRANCE HAS VOTED AND THEY REALLY DON’T LIKE THEIR RULING PARTIES.  TWO “OUTSIDERS” WERE THE TOP CANDIDATES IN THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION AND NOW THE ELECTION WILL GO TO A RUNOFF – One of the top two finishers in France’s election is Marine Le Pen (the female version of Donald Trump), but luckily most of the country hates her and her opponent Emmanuel Macron looks to have support from multiple factions and should win the run off.  The most important take away from this whole election is that the two parties who have had the presidency for over 50 years did not even qualify for the runoff and that an “outsider” will be president of France.  Although there is a fear that crazy right wing nationalists are the only ones that can win when the establishment crumbles, Macron has shown that centrists and progressives can also win in these situations.  So let’s just hope that Marine Le Pen doesn’t pull of a miracle and win or we’ll end up with some sort of super depression in Europe that collapses the world’s economy.  (bbc.com)

THESE NEW GIANT VIRUSES WILL KILL US ALL!  AHHHHHHH! – Scientists have discovered so-called giant viruses that are often bigger than bacteria and have a complex genome that takes them very close to having full autonomy.  The virus/giant virus/new type of life form is known as Klosneuvirus and is being studied by the Joint Genome Institute.  The giant virus has not decided to kill anyone, yet, and is not really that big, all things considered.  So we’re safe for now.  But if this virus starts growing and learns to use weapons, watch out world!  This is exactly how those craptacular horror movies on Syfy channel start.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION – 04/02/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ONE OF BETO O’ROURKE’S STRENGTHS IN HIS RUN AGAINST TED CRUZ FOR SENATE IS THAT HE ISN’T TED CRUZ.  A RANDOM PIECE OF GARBAGE ON THE FLOOR WOULD MAKE A BETTER SEANTOR THAN TED CRUZ – Kudos to Beto O’Rourke for having the balls to run for Senate even though the odds are wildly stacked against him.  After months of speculation, he officially started his campaign this weekend and will have to get through a tough Democratic Primary before he even gets a chance to go after Ted Cruz.  Beto O’Rourke isn’t perfect and he has his flaws, but he is way better than Ted Cruz and most of the people currently in the Senate.  So be sure to support Beto O’Rourke in his campaign and go give him a listen if he’s in your area.  He’s been a great public servant for El Paso in the local and congressional level and there’s no doubt he would do great in the Senate.  (cbs4local.com)

CONTINUING THE CENTURIES LONG TRADITION OF CORRUPT MEXICAN POLITICIANS FLEEING TO EL PASO WITH THEIR ILL-GOTTEN GAINS, EX CHIHUAHUA GOVERNOR CESAR DUARTE IS CURRENTLY HIDING OUT IN EL PASO – The current governor of Chihuahua, Javier Corral, is on an anti-corruption binge and has declared the ex-governor a fugitive from justice over allegations that he abused his power while in office to gain land and business opportunities.  Naturally, Cesar Duarte ran like the wind and is believed to have crossed into El Paso and hiding out in the area.  It should be noted that these are “alleged” instances of corruption and he sort of deserves his day in court.  But the evidence is pretty solid and, since Interpol is now involved in the manhunt, it is safe to assume that ex-governor Cesar Duarte is probably a little on the corrupt side.  Here’s hoping the roles are reversed and one day we are reading about a manhunt in Juarez looking for Greg Abbott and Donald Trump who were ousted for being corrupt and incompetent.  (kvia.com)

WATER IS COMING BACK TO THE RIO GRANDE!  HOORAY! – Because of canals, the dam and extensive farming; most of the water that should be in the Rio Grande in the El Paso area is strategically diverted and gradually released back into the Rio Grande from the Caballo Lake reservoir.  So by looking at how much water was released into the Rio Grande we can determine how bad of a drought we are having and if the Rio Grande will sort of look like a river in the summer months.  Although farmers aren’t getting a full allotment of water from the reservoir this season, it’s been years since that has happened, the water flow reaching farmers via the river is greater than previous years and possible snow melt later this year will hopefully lead to a larger release later on.  So far so good and let’s hope for more water in the Rio Grande soon.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THIS WEEKEND MORE PEOPLE DIED BECAUSE OF MUD THAN DIED BECAUSE OF TERRORISTS.  THE WORLD HAS A SHITLOAD OF PROBLEMS AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE PAY ATTENTION TO THE WRONG THINGS – Although terrorism is bad, abject poverty and piss poor infrastructure is a larger problem that is currently facing the world.  Over the weekend, more than 250 people lost their lives as a result of mudslides and flooding around Mocoa, Colombia.  The worst is not over, as many more people are still missing, and it seems like it will be weeks before clean running water and electricity are brought back to the community as a whole.  This is an avoidable tragedy that could be remedied with better infrastructure and better planning and it is these types of issues the world should focus on fixing.  This problem isn’t limited to developing nations and even major countries have large issues involving infrastructure and planning.  So let’s hope governments around the world get the idea and start spending money on important infrastructure and utilities and not pointless things like, say, giant guns and pointless walls in the middle of the desert.  (theguardian.com)

I BET DONALD TRUMP GETS AN ERECTION EVERY TIME HE READS ABOUT ALL THE HORRIBLE THINGS THAT NICOLAS MADURO DOES – Venezuela was one step closer to a full blown dictatorship last week when the country’s supreme court declared that congress had no legislative powers and that everyone should bow down and obey Generalisimo Maduro.  This angered most of the country and, after tons of protests and signs of disgust from even the most avid Maduro bootlickers, the court reversed its decision and gave congress its limited powers back.  But we were real close to Venezuela becoming North Korea Jr. last week and that was very scary.  At least Trump’s America isn’t Venezuela ……. yet.  (bbc.com)

AND OUT COME THE WOLVES.  THE WRITERS GUILD OF AMERICA IS THE FIRST ENTERTAINMENT UNION TO TRY AND RE-UP THEIR CONTRACTS IN THE MIDST OF THE CHEAPO STREAMING BONANZA THAT HIPSTER FUCKS ARE CALLING “PEAK TV” – The WGA is threatening a strike as it becomes the first major union to negotiate contracts after the rise of streaming TV content on places like Hulu and Netflix.  Normally broadcast TV was the major league of television and the medium that commanded the highest pay for writers and other creative types.  But now that broadcast is getting similar ratings as cable and streaming, something’s gotta give.  The new contract will either see a reduction in pay for broadcast content, what the corporations want, or a rise in the pay for cable and streaming content, what the writers want.  A compromise will have to be reached in order to avoid a strike, but it’s pretty hard to root against the writers when the major entertainment companies are claiming record profits one minute and then claiming to be stuck in poverty the next.  Add to this the rather nebulous accounting and claims by the secretive streaming services and we have a situation where if streaming services are making money it’s only because they are paying the creative types sub-cable money to create the hours of pointless content found in practically every corner of the internet.  And we won’t even get started on the horrible health insurance quagmire they’ve got themselves into.  The writers really have an uphill battle ahead of them.  Good luck trying to get any money from online only services that may or may not be making money depending on what random formula you use on any given day.  (deadline.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 3/26/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE BIG PONY RACE HAS FINALLY RETURNED TO SUNLAND PARK!  NOT EVEN HORSIE HERPES CAN STOP THE SUNLAND DERBY! – A year after an outbreak forced the cancellation of the race season and the 2016 Sunland Derby, the ponies came back for a renewed season and an ultra exciting 2017 Sunland Derby.  The race was won by Hence, ridden by local race hero Alfredo Juarez Jr., who managed to take the lead late and come ahead of local favorite Conquest Mo Money.  Though it would have been nice to see local horse Conquest Mo Money win the Sunland Derby, Hence ran a great race and a local jockey was a part of the victory.  Now Hence will go on to the Kentucky Derby and Sunland Park Racetrack will move on from the turmoil of last year to bigger and better things.  Good show, ponies.  (elpasoproud.com)

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SOCORRO GOVERNMENT WAS BECOMING RATIONAL AND COMPETENT THEY GO AHEAD AND DO SOMETHING STUPID AND CHAOTIC FOR NO APPARENT REASON – Because of Socorro’s weirdo city rules, it is possible for city council to vote the mayor out for any random alleged impropriety.  Naturally, the Socorro government has now decided to make use of their crazy rules with hilarious results and voted to remove the mayor.  Because the current mayor, Gloria Rodriguez, allegedly used a city appointed lawyer when she was a city council representative embroiled in the equally skeevy term extension scheme, the current members of council felt she used city funds for personal gain.  To make matters worse, no mention of any city attorney or legal counsel has been made by council, so they are basically making a legal decision WITHOUT consulting a lawyer.  Now the City of Socorro will have to waste money on another election AND will have to hire an attorney to fight the upcoming legal case by the ex-mayor.  So because the Socorro city council interpreted a law without the help of a lawyer, they will have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for an election and legal fees because Gloria Rodriguez allegedly used $3,000 in services from a lawyer attained for city business.  A reprimand and a request for payment of funds would have been much cheaper AND would have actually resulted in the city making some money.  Way to be competent, City of Socorro.  You make the current batch of spineless wonders at El Paso City Hall look like geniuses in comparison.  (kvia.com)

THEY’RE FINALLY PUTTING A LINEAR PARK NEXT TO ONE OF THE CANALS IN EL PASO!  THE CITY OF EL PASO DID SOMETHING GOOD AND EFFICIENT!  THE SKY IS FALLING! – For years, many people have begged the City of El Paso to do something about the eyesore canals that criss-cross the lower valley other than just fencing them and making them even scarier and more dangerous.  Finally the city has listened to the masses and will not only clean up the canals, but will turn the surrounding areas into super long linear parks that everyone can use.  The first canal project will be part of a larger city-wide park project and will turn 3.5 miles of the Playa Drain from Ascarate to Riverside Park into a beautiful urban trail and linear park.  Eventually the urban trail will reach all the way to Capistrano Park past Ysleta High School and will hopefully be used as a model to improve ALL the canals in the city in a similar manner.  Next on our “competent city wish list” is a request to turn all the god awful ponding areas into park/ponds that can actually be used by people instead of being wasted space.  If you’re going to dig a giant fucking hole in the ground to combat perceived flooding issues, you might as well spend a few extra bucks to engineer it into a usable park as well.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

VLADIMIR PUTIN IS JUST JEALOUS OF ALEXEI NAVALNY’S GIANT BALLS OF STEEL – One of the most dangerous jobs in the world is being an anti-Putin, opposition leader in Russia.  So that makes Alexei Navalny one of the toughest men in the world.  This weekend Navalny led protests in Russia against corruption and the Russian leadership who are stealing from the people.   The protests were peaceful, but the Russian government doesn’t like it when people point out things like “corruption” and “incompetence” so they started arresting the protesters, including Navalny.  The leader is safe, for now, and this protest shows that the good people of Russia are still willing to fight for freedom and against authoritarian scumbags.  In closing, Alexei Navalny has big balls.  (bbc.com)

CANADA IS SET TO ANNOUNCE A PLAN FOR COUNTRYWIDE MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION BY 2018.  DON’T TELL THE REPUBLICANS OR THEY MIGHT BUILD A WALL WITH CANADA TO PREVENT THE “EVILS” OF MARIJUANA – Plans are underway to introduce legislation in April that will seek to legalize marijuana in Canada by 2018.  This is the logical next step in the dismantling of the horrible “war on drugs” and it’s good to see at least one country in North America be a shining beacon of liberty and progress.  It will take a long time for America to follow the lead, but if this is successful the dominoes will hopefully fall in other progressive countries in Europe and some of the non-crazy, rational states in the U.S.  This is still in the early stages, but at least they are seriously discussing this topic in Canada and being smart about the fight against illegal drugs.  And to anyone bitching about the dangers of marijuana, alcohol is waaaaaaaaaay more dangerous than weed and that doesn’t stop these so-called conservatives from pounding back a few Bud Lights like a good ol’ blue collar boy.  (cbc.ca)

DONALD TRUMP IS A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT AND NOT VERY GOOD AT “DEALMAKING” – In the ever growing list of Donald Trump failures, the idiot was unable to pass a Repbulican-created, anti-Obamacare bill in a congress that is MAJORITY Republican.  This is the equivalent of failing to give out free slices of cake at a fat camp.  The bill was utter garbage that would have made everyone unhappy, but Donald Trump still decided to try and push it through based on the strength of his “charisma” and “dealmaking”.  Although once it failed he distanced himself from his stupid bill and blamed everyone but himself for its failure – classic Donald.  Kudos to the Freedom Caucus for showing some backbone and principle and being the voting bloc in the Republican party that kept the bill from passing.  Their hearts were in the wrong place and wanted to completely destroy the program regardless of how many people died, but you have to admire them for sticking to their guns and not bowing down to Donald Trump.  At least they know the proper definition for “fiscally conservative”.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 03/19/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

FAREWELL DOWNTOWN, J.C. PENNEY.  YOU WERE THE ANCHOR FOR DOWNTOWN EL PASO’S SHOPPING DISTRICT FOR SO LONG THAT WE SORT OF TOOK YOU FOR GRANTED – J.C. Penney finally released its list of store closures across the country and the J.C. Penney in downtown El Paso was one of the 138 stores on the chopping block.  The store has seen better days but the current retail climate really took a toll at this location.  The store was at its downtown location for decades and for many of us it was an icon of downtown El Paso.  The news isn’t really shocking as the writing has been on the wall for this location for some time.  Nationally the main cause for the drop in “brick and mortar” retail sales has been the rise of the online sales, but here the main culprit for the downtown store closure was the drop in shoppers from Mexico and the influx of new businesses and residents downtown.  The rise of the middle class in Juarez has seen less foot traffic come into downtown as more transnational shoppers will just drive over and visit one of the malls or giant shopping centers in the area.  In addition, downtown El Paso’s recent growth is overwhelmingly led by the yuppie and hipster set ……. and the yuppie and hipster audience aren’t exactly the type of people to go look for discounts at the downtown J.C. Penney.  It’s actually surprising that the downtown location lasted this long, but it will always be fondly remembered.  So you now have until June to visit the downtown J.C. Penney one last time and take advantage of the upcoming sale.  And then the real fun starts as we see who ends up buying the vacant building from J.C. Penney.  Will it be someone competent like Foster or Gaddy or will Billy Abraham screw everything up by buying another building he has no intention of fixing?  It will probably be Billy Abraham.  (kvia.com)

ALL HAIL KHALID!  EL PASO’S NEW MUSIC OVERLORD! – Congratulations to recent America’s High School graduate, Khalid, for making a great album that debuted inside the Billboard top ten.  American Teen, which includes the great single “Location”, debuted at #9 on the Billboard album charts and things are looking good for the skilled teen that calls El Paso home.  Khalid burst onto the scene last year with a couple of solid locally produced songs that made a big impact on the internet and led to a whirlwind evolution that now has Khalid with the #9 album in the country less than an year later.  Kudos to Khalid and let this be a lesson to all artists to never give up on your dreams.  (cbs4local.com)

BETO AND WILL GO TO WHITE CASTLE D.C. – In an epic and meaningful road trip that would make Thelma, Harold, Louise and Kumar proud, two El Paso area congressman from different parties traveled together from San Antonio to Washington D.C. and made the most of it by broadcasting it all live on the internet.  Beto O’Rourke, who represents El Paso as a democrat, and Will Hurd, the republican who represents that huge part of Texas between the suburbs of El Paso and the suburbs of San Antonio, decided to drive to D.C. because of the flight delays caused by Super Blizzard 2017.  The road trip and live internet broadcast town hall was a great showcase for bipartisan cooperation and a very clever way for both congressman to reach their constituents.  The experiment was so successful that it made headlines worldwide!  If you are wondering how the live stream played out, remember when Krusty the Clown went out to the desert to create a pirate TV show with a leaky car battery and a scorpion?  Well in this situation, Beto O’Rourke was like the scorpion and Will Hurd was like the leaky car battery – so it worked out quite well and was very entertaining.  (kvia.com)

 

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

CHUCK BERRY IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE CHUCK BERRY! – ROCK AND ROLL ……. If you want to summarize Chuck Berry in as few words as possible all you have to say is “Rock and Roll”.  Chuck Berry was one of the founding fathers of what would become rock music in the ‘50s and without him music would have definitely evolved in a different direction.  He was a major influence on all the great rockers that would evolve the art form in the ‘60s and ‘70s and his music still inspires many to this day.  His life was rough, but he persevered and became a legend in the music world.  They’re all rocking out to “Johnny B Goode” in heaven as we speak.  LONG LIVE CHUCK BERRY AND LONG LIVE ROCK AND ROLL!  (bbc.com)

NOW THEY’RE FIGHTING IN DAMASCUS AND THE SITUATION IN SYRIA MIGHT NOT BE AS “SETTLED” AS SOME WOULD LIKE TO BELIEVE – After the fall of Aleppo to government forces, it was believed that things were dying down in Syria and that the rebels were on their last legs.  Now fighting has increased in the Damascus area and it seems the rebels aren’t all that lifeless after all.  This might be the death throes of the rebellion and this will all end soon, but things are not all peaceful in Syria and even Assad’s stronghold of Damascus is not immune to war and death.  It would be a hell of a thing if Damascus would be engulfed by fighting, even Assad and Putin wouldn’t be able to spin that one into a positive.  (bbc.com)

IF YOU LIKE WATCHING EXPLOSIONS, HAVE WE GOT A TREAT FOR YOU – The Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory is leading a project to digitize and “re-master” film footage of America’s past nuclear weapons tests in order to get a better understanding of previous nuclear weapon tests and to re-analyze the data from these tests.  A few videos from their project have been declassified and are now available on YouTube and they are as amazing as you would expect.  Nuclear weapons are horrible, horrible things – but the explosions are so mesmerizing and hypnotic that you can’t look away.  So go view these videos before the government changes its mind and makes them classified all over again.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 03/12/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WHY BUILD ONE 22-STORY TOWER WHEN YOU CAN BUILD 2 TOWERS!  HELL, THEY MIGHT AS WELL BUILD 3 OR 4 TOWERS ON THAT LOT IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY – It appears that market studies and resident concerns have had a slight impact on the Meyers Group plans for a large high rise tower in west El Paso.  The original plan called for a large 22-story tower with apartments to be built on their property off Mesa, but now they have tweaked it just a bit by unveiling that two condo towers will be built instead.  According to the plans, this will help to break up the view for nearby residents and also allow them to build the structure in two phases in order to judge interest in the project.  Although the original plan was more ambitious and looked a bit cooler in the designs, this will still be a great project for the city if it gets done.  Now, if they one day decide they’re just going to build a crappy Mimco-style mini mall on the property – then we can officially consider this project as being a major cock-tease disaster.  (kvia.com)

AT LEAST TXDOT ONLY SHUT DOWN I-10 FOR 27 HOURS ON A SUNDAY.  KNOWING THEM, THE ORIGINAL PLAN WAS TO SHUT DOWN THE FREEWAY FOR FIVE DAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WORK WEEK – As part of the GO-10 project, txdot plans to demolish the I-10 east overpass at Mesa as they reconstruct the entire thing.  This is only a preview of things to come as txdot will also end up doing this on the westbound overpass in order to complete the entire structure.  And let’s not forget all the other overpasses in the city that will more than likely need to be repaired or replaced as part of the GO-10 project.  Hopefully txdot learns from their mistakes and doesn’t drag their feet like they’ve done on other projects (coughloop375/i10interchangeontheeastsidecough).  This closure is occurring on a Sunday, so at least they’re not doing stupid things like shutting down the freeway on a weekday ……. yet.  (kvia.com)

GABBO!  GABBO!  GABBO! – Wet N’ Wild is building the largest attraction in its three decade-plus history, but they are remaining silent on what specific water park ride they are bringing in.  The new improvements, which also include an upgrade to the entrance, will be “highly visible” from I-10 and will employ hundreds of people.  It’s probably impossible to figure out what the ride is from these basic hints, but I’m sure our best and brightest will give it a go.  We here at Simple Minded hope it is some sort of super topless/nude pool that will employ the region’s strippers during the daytime “off period”.  Strippers need daytime jobs too, you know.  (cbs4local.com)

 

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT WORLD WAR III WOULD START OVER A PISSING MATCH BETWEEN TURKEY AND THE NETHERLANDS, OF ALL COUNTRIES – It takes a unique brand of fascist moron to accuse the Netherlands of “Nazism”, and Turkish dictator Erdogan is just the fascist moron to make such asinine comments with no real supporting evidence (lest we forget, before there was Trump there was Erdogan).  This all began with Turkey trying to forcefully start political rallies in European countries to encourage expatriate voters to approve of Erdogan’s amazingly dictator-ish plan to convert his country from a parliamentary form of government to a US-inspired, strong man president “garbage democracy” model.  Naturally, European countries don’t appreciate a borderline dictator stirring up the immigrant community within their borders in order to secure votes.  In response the Netherlands was one of many countries to block these rallies in order to stop any trouble and violence that might erupt from competing sides.  Needless to say, Erdogan is a moron and is now butt-hurt that Europe would have the audacity to prevent him from doing what he wants INSIDE ANOTHER FUCKING COUNTRY.  This will probably just blow over, but it would be hilarious if the EU just wipes its ass with Turkey’s EU application and tells Erdogan to go fuck himself.  Erdogan not only wants to screw over his own people, he also wants to screw over random individuals in countries far, far away.  (bbc.com)

ONE OF THE POSITIVE’S OF BREXIT IS THAT SCOTLAND WILL FINALLY DECLARE ITS INDEPENDENCE AND STOP BEING ENGLAND’S LAPDOG.  BRAVEHEART WOULD BE PROUD – The last Scottish Referendum on splitting from the United Kingdom won many votes to “stay” based on the assumption that the UK would not leave the EU.  Naturally, the UK’s attempts to drive their country off the Brexit cliff has led to some people in Scotland questioning if staying in the United Kingdom was the right path to follow.  The calls to action are now growing louder and it looks like Scotland is going to get another chance at a referendum and independence.  This should be interesting.  (bbc.com)

VIDEO PROOF OF TRUE’S BEAKED WHALES FINALLY CAPTURED ON FILM.  NEXT STOP, VIDEO PROOF OF THE HORIZON CITY MONSTER – Finding something that is new and unique in the internet era is a very tough task.  So when something pops up that is truly new, unique and one-of-a-kind it really makes you take notice.  Scientists this week released the first video footage ever of True’s Beaked Whales swimming in the ocean and it is quite beautiful.  Scientists that study these animals can go their entire careers without spotting one of them, so this video truly is a rarity.  The video is very subtle and calming, but the spectacular part is the fact that no one in history has ever recorded these animals in their natural environment!  A truly great moment that makes you think of all the wonderful mysteries found in nature.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)