Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/11/2018


WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE DAY WHEN TXDOT SHUTS DOWN ALL THE ROADS IN EL PASO TO PAINT ONE SINGLE TRAFFIC STRIPE ON THE FREEWAY.  A TRAFFIC STRIPE THAT WILL BE PAINTED INCORRECTLY THUS RESULTING IN MORE ROAD CLOSURES THE FOLLOWING WEEK.  GOOD JOB, TXDOT – The geniuses at txdot are back at it and this time they will close I-10 at the intersection of Sunland Park Drive for 57 hours this weekend to demolish the old Sunland Flyover ramps over I-10 as part of their Super Fantastic Go 10 Re-Construction Project.  This latest artificial clusterfuck will shut down the freeway during both a holiday AND UTEP graduations.  They got testy when questioned about the timing of the closure and txdot’s not-a-moron spokesperson, Jennifer Wright, responded, “If not this weekend, when?”  Gee, Jenny, maybe when it isn’t a holiday AND when there aren’t multiple fucking graduation ceremonies going on a few miles away.  I’m sure the original plan was to close the freeway during an important Sunland Park Racetrack event, but even txdot has some common sense.  But here we are, part of a Frankenstein state called Texas and forced to take orders from morons hundreds of miles away.  Would it be so bad if everything west of the Pecos became a separate state and then we would only have to deal with EPDOT?  (

LANE GADDY JUST HAS TO BUY A COUPLE OF BUILDINGS IN JUAREZ AND HE’LL BE KING OF THE GREATER MOGOLLON REGION – Not to be outdone by his amazing building renovations in Downtown El Paso, Lane Gaddy has decided to spread the wealth and is leading an investment group in the purchase of the tallest building in Las Cruces.  The 11-story Electronic Caregiver building and surrounding area will now, hopefully, get the Lane Gaddy treatment and become a classy yet modern destination in Las Cruces.  The city has been seeing some new developments lately and the introduction of Lane Gaddy and friends to the mix signifies that more investment and construction projects are surely on the horizon for Las Cruces.  (

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BAR OWNERS THAT DON’T REALLY GET ALONG WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS MOVE INTO THE WHINIEST RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD IN EL PASO?  WE’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT! – The residents of Kern Place have been complaining about any random noise that comes out of the Cincinnati Entertainment District for decades now and most people have learned to ignore them and just do enough to keep them from stopping the economic progress of the Westside.  You’d think that living mere feet from North Mesa (one of the most crowded streets in El Paso) would have made them accustomed to noise and traffic.  But no, they’ll still bitch and complain about any business that moves anywhere near Stanton.  But now it seems that things will get even wackier as the owners of Later Later, who actually have warrants out for not showing up to court for noise complaints, plan to open a bar near Cincy.  Add to this the fact that all the local news stations love nothing more than giving crazy people an outlet to complain about pointless shit and you have the ingredients for a very entertaining public fight.  We haven’t had any crazy public meetings yet on this topic, but you just know they’re coming.  So get your popcorn ready and don’t forget to create a drinking game that involves taking a shot every time a resident of Kern places bitches about traffic circles even though the meeting isn’t even remotely related to street issues.  You’ll die of alcohol poisoning in 15 minutes.  (


IT’S EUROVISION TIME!  THE WORLD’S FAVORITE SONG CONTEST … EXCEPT FOR CHINA.  EUROVISION IS APPARENTLY A LITTLE TOO GAY FOR CHINA – It’s that time of the year again, time for Europe to crown its champion of music by ignoring all musical merit and focusing instead on gimmicks and wackiness.  Yes, kids, it’s Eurovision time!  We have some global controversy this year as Chinese broadcaster Mango TV has lost its broadcast rights because they decided to censor parts of the semi-final round when a rainbow flag was pictured on screen and when two men were seen dancing together.  Apparently rainbow flags and dancing gay men are the new enemy supreme of China.  The grand final will take place on Saturday and, as always, expect the gimmickiest, gaudiest and over the top performance to be crowned as champion.  Don’t even worry about analyzing the music (it isn’t even remotely about the music), just sit back and enjoy the magical and overblown spectacle.  (

THE HISTORY OF HORSE DOMESTICATION AND THE SPREAD OF LANGUAGE AND IDEAS IN EURASIA HAS BEEN A COMPLEX ISSUE THAT HAS LED TO MUCH DEBATE OVER THE YEARS.  AFTER STUDIES OF THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF HUMAN DNA EVER ANALYZED, THE HISTORY OF EURASIA CONTINUES TO BE A COMPLEX ISSUE THAT HAS LED TO MUCH DEBATE – For fans of DNA research and ancient history (who isn’t a fan?), recent studies released in the journals Nature and Science have been a godsend.  The Discover Magazine blog has an excellent run down of all these studies and if you aren’t going to read the journals you might as well feed your mind with the summaries.  From horse domestication to the Indo European Language Family to tool use to the hepatitis B virus, these studies cover everything but the invention of the kitchen sink (and that will probably come in a later DNA study).  (

IF IT LOOKS LIKE FRAUD AND BRIBERY, IT’S PROBABLY FRAUD AND BRIBERY.  UNLESS DONALD TRUMP AND FRIENDS ARE INVOLVED, THEN FOX NEWS LABELS IT “COMMON PRESIDENTIAL BEHAVIOR”.  NOTHING TO SEE HERE – The Trump Shitshow continued this week as his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, was found accepting large sums of money from corporations that had business or pending business decisions related to the federal government.  Michael Cohen is a shitty lawyer from the shittiest law school  in America and somehow  large corporations were giving him hundreds of thousands of dollars for his expertise and not because he could get them influence and access to Donald Trump.  Suuuuuuuuuuure.  At worst this is extortion to try and get companies to pay up or be punished and at best this is the president’s FRIEND AND PERSONAL LAWYER selling access and possible influence regarding important national decisions.  AT&T and the other companies that paid this moron are like the creepy guys on To Catch A Predator who would walk in to a stranger’s house pants-less with a six-pack and a box of condoms.  We don’t need to see them commit the crime, we all know what their intent was and what they wanted to accomplish with the fictional underage girl.  Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him?  (


Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/04/2018


SOMEHOW WHITE SANDS IS JUST A NATIONAL MONUMENT AND NOT A NATIONAL PARK.  HOW THE HELL IS IT NOT A MAJOR NATIONAL PARK EVEN AFTER ALL THE INTERNATIONAL ACCOLADES AND RECOGNITION? – White Sands is one of our region’s most beautiful natural wonders and the federal government has done a decent job in preserving it, yet they still haven’t turned it into a National Park!  Hopefully all that will change as local governments and U.S. Senator Martin Heinrich are leading the charge to raise White Sand’s profile to National Park status.  Some of the current National Parks pale in comparison to White Sands so the change in designation should be a no-brainer.  (

NOW IF THE GHOST OF PANCHO VILLA EVER WANTS TO ATTACK COLUMBUS, HE’LL HAVE AN EASIER TIME CROSSING INTO AMERICA – Construction has started on the new and improved expansion of the Columbus Port of Entry.  The vital connection to Palomas will now have expanded pedestrian areas and more lanes for vehicle traffic.  Columbus is rarely in the news, so it’s nice that they are getting some improvements in the town.  (

CLINT ISD MIGHT FINALLY MOVE INTO THE WORLD OF REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY INSTEAD OF THE CURRENT GOOD ‘OL BOY VOTING NETWORK THAT THEY USE TO DETERMINE WHO SERVES ON THE SCHOOL BOARD – Clint ISD is alone in the realm of local school districts in the way that they choose trustees.  The current method is decided on an at-large basis that results in most of the board members coming from the same location because of general voter apathy and population distortion.  This leads to schools in the Montana Vista and Horizon area being severely under represented.  To correct this, the school board is finally moving toward a direct representation system in which each school area will vote for a representative that comes directly from the area and not based on a popularity vote.  There will still be a few seats determined by total vote, but this is a step in the right direction and finally gives people in the far flung reaches of the district a voice in school matters.  (


IT’S ALMOST AS IF ARGENTINA SAW VENEZUELA’S ABSURD CURRENCY RATES AND CRAZY ECONOMY AND FELT OBLIGATED TO TRY AND TOP IT – Argentina has raised its interest rate to an amazingly high 40% as it attempts to stop the bleeding from its collapsing currency.  Although this looks crazy, it’s the only thing Argentina can do as it transitions to a more market friendly economy after years of protectionism and extreme public spending by the previous administration.  The powers that be are steadfast in maintaining a 15% inflation rate and thus the currency and interest rate will continue in its deadly tango to ensure that inflation doesn’t blow up and destroy Argentina as is usually the case in the South American country.  At least Argentina is trying to fix its problems as opposed to Venezuela who just want to blame everyone else for their incompetence.  (

IF YOU WERE PLANNING ON VISITING HAWAII SOON, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK YOUR TRAVEL PLANS – The Kilauea volcano in Hawaii has been active for years but now it has decided to up its volcano game and branch out.  Although the increased volcanic and seismic activity is isolated to a small part of one of the Hawaiian islands, it is still pretty catastrophic to the people that took a risk and built their houses next to an active volcano.  The videos that are coming from Kilauea are spectacular but let’s not sensationalize this and act like all of Hawaii is going to be wiped off the face of the Earth.  Yes, there is a volcano erupting in Hawaii.  But no, it is not going to destroy America’s beloved island state that should be its own country.  (

THE FIRST SATURDAY IN MAY IS FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!  GUESS WHAT SATURDAY IS COMING UP?  – This weekend brings another installment of Free Comic Book Day, the day that cheapos can enjoy the finest of the Ninth Art for FREE!  So take a break from all the awful things going on in the world by picking up a free comic book filled with super fights, violence and jaded, smart-ass dialogue.  (



Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2017 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics


In case you missed it, here’s our full recap of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs of 2017 in one convenient location.  In addition to the songs, we've also included top albums and other stats derived from the list. Enjoy.


1. “Saved” – Khalid – (American Teen)
2. “Slip Away” – Perfume Genius – (No Shape)
3. “The Study On Falling” – Asaf Avidan – (The Study On Falling)
4. “Desert” – Brand New – (Science Fiction)
5. “The Return Of…” – Left Boy
6. “Wreath” – Perfume Genius – (No Shape)
7. “L’Esercito Del Selfie” – Takagi & Ketra with Lorenzo Fragola and Arisa
8. “Turbo” – Cosmo – (Cosmotronic)
9. “The Good Part” – AJR – (The Click)
10. “We Drift On” – Dan Black with Imogen Heap and Prequell – (Do Not Revenge)

Continue reading “Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2017 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics”

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/27/2018


KUDOS TO UTEP’S WILL HERNANDEZ FOR BEING DRAFTED IN THE NFL DRAFT.  AND ALSO FOR PROVING THAT EVEN IF YOU ARE ON A CRAPPY TEAM THAT DOESN’T WIN ANY GAMES, AS LONG AS YOU WORK HARD AND DO YOUR THING YOU CAN EXCEL IN THE HARDEST OF SITUATIONS – Will Hernandez, the UTEP offensive lineman that was one of the few bright spots in the past few years of sad UTEP football, has been drafted by the New York Giants in the 2nd Round (34th Overall) of the NFL Draft.  Even in the most dire of situations, Will Hernandez never gave up and was a solid presence on the UTEP offensive line.  Congratulations to Will and hopefully this is a spark that can be used by the UTEP staff to lead the team back to somewhat respectable levels.  (

LIKE THE MAJESTIC SWALLOWS RETURNING TO CAPISTRANO EVERY YEAR; THE ILL-PREPARED. LOWER VALLEY, DOMESTICATED DUCKS HAVE RETURNED TO ASCARATE LAKE TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH – Because it just wouldn’t be an El Paso tradition if it didn’t involve poor planning and basic abandonment, countless idiots have once again purchased baby ducks for Easter and then dumped them at Ascarate Lake when they magically transform from cute baby ducks into large, angry and annoying adult ducks.  We’ll let Loretta Hyde from the Animal Rescue League explain why this is a bad idea:  “Year after year, people get these little ducklings and chicks and little bunnies for Easter and every year, when they’re done with them and the cuteness has worn off, they end up at the lake.”  Fuck, people are also dumping chickens and bunnies in Ascarate Lake!  What the fuck is wrong with people?  So don’t dump your unwanted ducks in Ascarate Lake and definitely don’t dump your chickens and bunnies in the lake as well.  I don’t think chickens and bunnies would like Ascarate and I highly doubt they can swim.  If anything, I think chickens and bunnies would like the Upper Valley or maybe one of the nice places on the Westside.  So take your bunnies to the Animal Shelter or to Whole Foods on North Mesa, I think that’s where bunnies would like to go instead of Ascarate.  (

THIS WEEK MULTIPLE LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICTS DID SOMETHING STUPID, CANUTILLO ISD STILL MANAGED TO OUTSTUPID THEM ALL – The trendy students at Canutillo High School saw some stupid “things to do before graduation list” online and like good little posers decided to copy it.  A good portion of the activities were illegal and all hell broke loose on campus as multiple students were sent to alternative education for doing illegal things on the list.  The principal and District sort of had a half-assed response to this whole thing and somehow managed to drag a dwarf into this as she had to go to the local news stations to complain because one of the challenges was to “jump over a little person” and this led to her being bullied at school.  So to recap, the students at Canutillo High saw a list with “jump over a little person” and “smoke marijuana in class” and thought it would be cool to do it.  Meanwhile the authority figures at the district fought over a barn.  If only one of the items on the list was “don’t be a poser” or “be a competent district administrator” this would have never escalated to this point.  (


FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, THE LEADERS OF NORTH AND SOUTH KOREA HAVE AGREED IN PRINCIPLE TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO BRING PEACE TO THE PENINSULA.  LET’S HOPE THIS ONE ACTUALLY LEADS SOMEWHERE AND MAYBE LEADS TO PEACE AND UNIFICATION – Although Donald Trump would like to claim direct responsibility for the olive branch fest in Korea, the fact is that he is such a horrible sack of shit that North Korea decided to take advantage of this situation to try and get a good deal with South Korea now that the south is starting to look at a Trump-led America as more of an obnoxious bully than a friend.  After Trump’s use of tariffs on “close friend” South Korea for no apparent reason, they are starting to think,”With Friends like this …”  So I guess Trump is INDIRECTLY responsible for this meeting at least.  The agreement between the North’s Kim Jong-un and the South’s Moon Jae-in calls for a plan to denuclearize the peninsula and for a formal peace treaty between both nations.  The final form that this plan takes will now depend on Donald Trump and how much Kim Jong-un can get out of him in their upcoming meeting.  From his actions it seems that Kim Jong-un is willing to abandon nuclear weapons completely as long as America stops its joint military exercises in the region and moves its troops and bases from South Korea.  While this can’t be done instantly, if there is a gradual American withdrawal from the peninsula and North Korea continues on the path away from nuclear weapons a lasting peace and reunification might be possible in a span of a few decades.  As long as it’s done gradually, and not overnight, a successful reunification is possible this century.  The key word here is ‘gradual’.  The last thing we need is an economic and social clusterfuck like we witnessed in Eastern Europe in the years after the collapse of the Soviet Union.  (

NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY ITS HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS AGAINST THE ROHINGYA IN THE SOUTH OF THE COUNTRY, THE GOVERNMENT OF MYANMAR NOW WANTS TO FOCUS ON NEW HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS AGAINST THE KACHIN IN THE NORTH OF THE COUNTRY.  WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO BE A BIG NATION TO ENGAGE IN THE RAMPANT IMAGINARY NATIONALISM AND BLATANT LAND THEFT FOUND IN LARGE FRANKENSTEIN COUNTRIES – The Kachin Independence Army (KIA) has announced that the government of Myanmar have increased their activity in the north of the country and the resulting fighting will create a new wave of refugees in that part of the country.  The Kachin people and their independence movement is much older and more well entrenched in the country than the Rohingya, so the Myanmar government will probably have a tougher time in pushing them around.  May the Kachin and Rohingya one day get their own country and may all the Frankenstein countries go fuck themselves.  Maybe the Myanmar and Israeli governments can get together and complain about how the world community “unfairly” criticizes them for stealing other people’s land and killing civilians.  (

ALL HAIL DNA!  IT SOLVED THE CASE OF THE GOLDEN STATE KILLER WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT AND DIDN’T “ACCIDENTALLY” SHOOT ANY UNARMED PEOPLE IN THE PROCESS – Authorities have identified Joseph DeAngelo as the prime suspect in the murders, rapes and thefts that were committed by the so-called Golden State Killer / Original Night Stalker.  The serial killer’s rampage continued from the mid-‘70s to the mid-‘80s with the authorities virtually powerless to stop it.  In fact, the crimes only stopped because the killer got bored or possibly changed his MO or location.  Although DNA had originally linked most of his crimes, the culprit was not discovered until the available DNA was matched with a commercial DNA database used for genealogical purposes.  From there the authorities were able to trace it all back to Joseph DeAngelo and now many people will get some closure for all the pain they have suffered.  I think I speak for everyone when I say Fuck Joseph DeAngelo and I hope he rots in Hell.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/20/2018


SAN ELIZARIO IS NOT JUST KNOWN FOR DELICIOUS ASADERO CHEESE, THEY ALSO PLAY SOME GOOD SOCCER – Congratulations to the San Elizario High School Boys Soccer team for winning the state championship in futball and bringing another state title to the high school and the community.  The team beat a heavily-favored Palestine (the town, not the country) team by a score of 1-0 and once again showed that San Elizario is not to be underestimated.  Kudos, San Elizario High School.  You bring pride to the community and the region.  (

THERE’S CHAMPIONSHIPS COMING TO EL PASO FROM ALL DIRECTIONS THIS WEEK.  CONGRATS TO THE RHINOS FOR WINNING THE THORNE CUP! – Not to be outdone by the young athletes in San Elizario, the El Paso Rhinos won the Thorne Cup this week thus becoming the champions of the Western States Hockey League.  The El Paso Rhinos were almost eliminated from the championship tournament they were hosting, but went on a tear when it mattered and ended up going all the way and beating the Ogden Mustangs 3-2 in the championship game.  The Rhinos really know how to win when it matters and are definitely one of the best junior hockey teams in the country.  Kudos, Rhinos.  (

EL PASO DISTRICT ATTORNEY JAIME ESPARZA ISN’T VERY GOOD AT HIS JOB AND YET KEEPS ON BEING RE-ELECTED – In another amazing feat of overplaying their hand, Jaime Esparza led his team to a spectacular defeat as a ‘not guilty’ verdict was declared in a case that should probably have not gone to trial without rock solid evidence.  After what seemed like a few minutes of discussion the jury declared Sal Quintana not guilty of intoxicated manslaughter in the death of Javier Ruvalcaba via fiery crash.  For all intents and purposes, there were very few people (if any) who could have been driving the truck when it crashed and caught fire and the driver left the scene.  But apparently the DA’s office and the police department couldn’t dig up any cell tower location records or anything else that could credibly put Quintana at the scene.  If no rock solid evidence is found then the cops and/or the DA should look closer at the case and not rush to judgment.  So now the DA and local law enforcement will just shrug their soldiers and blame a ghost driver for this death and they’ll go on to the next case to screw up.  (


MEET THE NEW BOSS, SAME AS THE OLD BOSS – For the first time in more than half a century, Cuba will not have a member of the Castro family leading the country.  Miguel Diaz-Canel has been chosen as the new President of Cuba by the powers that be and will replace Raul Castro who has decided to step down.  Not much is expected to change in Cuba since Diaz-Canel is considered a staunch ally of Raul Castro and will likely just continue his policies.  But it is a pretty big psychological change for the country to not see a Castro in power.  But who knows, maybe Diaz-Canel will be the man to open up Cuba to the world and turn the island into a mini-China that combines communism and capitalism with sexy results.  (

AND HERE WE THOUGHT THAT NICARAGUA WAS ONE OF THE LEAST CLUSTERFUCKY COUNTRIES IN CENTRAL AMERICA – After all their revolutions and fighting, things seemed to be looking up in Nicaragua as it became one of the more stable countries in the region.  This past week, however, civil unrest exploded across the country as pension reform protests have grown increasingly violent.  President Daniel Ortega thought he could mess around with Nicaragua’s social security system and he learned the hard way that once you give people free money they won’t give it up without a fight.  The protests have been growing since Wednesday and things are not looking very good for Nicaragua.  At least Nicaragua isn’t filled with MS-13 like El Salvador, so they have that going for them.  (

DOES THIS MAKE JOHANN ASPERGER THE REVERSE SCHINDLER? – Johann Asperger was a famous Austrian physician whose research in Autism made him the first person to describe the psychological traits of what would eventually be known as Asperger Syndrome.  Originally it was believed that Johann Asperger protected children under his medical care from being taken by the Nazi’s for their crazy “kill all the medically unfit” medical program.  However, new research into historical documents of that era, the results of which were published in the Molecular Autism journal, have found that Asperger may have not been as heroic as originally thought and may have recommended many of his patients to be sent to one of the Nazi euthanasia clinics in Austria.  This doesn’t really change the importance of Asperger’s work but it makes him seem much more opportunistic than originally thought.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/13/2018


IF THERE IS NO HENTAI COSPLAY AT EL PASO COMIC CON THIS YEAR, I WILL BE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED – It’s that time of the year again!  When costumed people and pervs who like hentai cosplay (but not me, other people) descend on Downtown for the annual El Paso Comic Con.  The celebration of comic books, science fiction, anime and other nerdtastic genres just keeps on growing and getting better every year and you should definitely check it out this weekend.  And if you are an attractive female, I highly recommend you give hentai cosplay a shot.  I really can’t stress that enough.  (

EASTLAKE HAS FINALLY BEEN EXTENDED TO HORIZON BOULEVARD!  AND THE CITY OF HORIZON DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO RENAME IT SOMETHING STUPID TO GET THE JOB DONE – The work on Eastlake in Horizon City has finally been completed and the much used road has now been extended past Desert Mist Drive all the way to Horizon Boulevard near the high school.  The construction project was completed about 9 months ahead of schedule and gives the residents of Horizon another direct connection to I-10 and Socorro (granted, it’s a longer and loopier connection).  In addition, the mostly commercial development that will occur along this expanded road will bring a ton of tax revenue to the city and allow for more development.  In contrast, the Eastlake expansion in Socorro will finish 9 months behind schedule, over budget and renamed something asinine like Maya Mexica Cesar Chavez Raza Road 3000 Boulevard.  (

IN TYPICAL EL PASO NEWS, IDIOTS THAT BOUGHT HOUSES MERE FEET FROM I-10 AND OTHER MAJOR STREETS ARE ANGRY BECAUSE SOME BUSINESSES MAKE NOISE.  TO RECAP, IDIOTS BOUGHT HOUSES THAT ARE A FEW FEET FROM THE FUCKING FREEWAY AND THEY ARE MAD ABOUT NOISE AND TRAFFIC – The current city noise ordinance determines violations via the objective measurements from a sound level meter and are pretty clear on how loud something has to be to be considered a nuisance.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want special treatment and want a noise ordinance based on how many “buddies” they have in the government and the police department and calling them up to ask for a favor.  There’s nothing much to say other than this is comapdrismo at its finest and the fact that the city is even looking at a change speaks volumes about the good ol’ boy network that exists in the City of El Paso government.  Sadly some people believe that laws should be based on how many “buddies” you have at city hall and the police department.  (


FUCK ASSAD!  THE BOMBS PROBABLY WON’T STOP SYRIA’S CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND THEY PROBABLY KNEW IN ADVANCE WHERE THE BOMBS WOULD LAND, BUT AT LEAST THEY DESTROYED SOME OF THE FUCKER’S SHIT – As a result of the Assad Government’s recent chemical attack in Syria, allied forces have launched a missile strike on Syria chemical weapon facilities.  Although reactions are mixed over America’s involvement in this bombing campaign, there was international consensus that something had to be done and destroying their chemical weapons facilities was the least the world could do to a scumbag like Assad.  Hopefully this doesn’t escalate into a unilateral, Iraq-style, Amercian clusterfuck in Syria – but with the idiot in the White House anything is possible.  (

SO, DOES THIS MEAN ECUADOR AND COLOMBIA WILL GO TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER? – The Ecuadorean government has confirmed that 3 journalists from Ecuador, who were recently abducted along the Colombian border, have been murdered.  The culprits are believed to be Farc rebels from Colombia who did not want to sign on to the recent peace agreement with Colombia and just decided to become a full blown drug cartel in control of the Ecuador/Colombia border.  Patrols will now increase in the increasingly dangerous border area as both countries try to work together to stop this from becoming a full blown military conflict involving two countries, drug dealers and ex-rebel groups.  See, Republicans, this is what a REAL fucked up border actually looks like.  (

I GUESS ARGENTINIAN MICE REALLY LIKE WEED.  THEY REALLY, REALLY LIKE WEED – Police near Buenos Aires, Argentina have blamed mice for more than half a ton of missing marijuana at a police evidence warehouse.  Because this is an amazingly stupid excuse, eight police officers have been dismissed as an investigation looks at what really happened to the missing drugs.  But the fact that somebody thought that mice could eat that much pot without the mice suffering any adverse effects just boggles the mind.  Could mice really eat that much marijuana?  Is it even possible?  Maybe Argentinean police are on to something.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/06/2018


ONLY CANUTILLO COULD GENERATE THIS MUCH DRAMA OVER THE CONSTRUCTION OF A SCHOOL BARN – Who knew there could be this much backbiting and political posturing over a fucking barn?  The clusterfuck at the Canutillo School District continued this week as the proposed site of a school barn was moved from Garcia Elementary to Canutillo Middle School at the last minute.  The original barn was to be located near the property of a school board member who may or may not have benefited from construction at that location if it did go forward.  This was the spark that brought all the board’s animosity towards the surface and now we have this mess.  The district is now split into factions, officials have walked out of school board meetings and last minute changes are now being used to dick over other members.  And let’s not forget that the school district tried to stop development in the area because some members didn’t want “urban” homes to disturb their “rural” lifestyle.  Amazingly, it took a agriculture education barn to finally bring the incompetence at Canutillo central office to light.  And yes, the use of district funds to construct a barn is weird – but Canutillo is technically a rural district.  (

SELF DEFENSE IS NO OFFENSE – Hisaias Justo Lopez stabbed and killed Isaac Morales last year AFTER Morales chased him and he turned around and stabbed him, that much we know is true.  Unfortunately, the media is only giving one side of the story and trying to paint Isaac Morales as a hero because he was a Border Patrol agent.  Hisaias should be punished for killing someone, but at most it should be manslaughter and not some trumped up capital murder charge like the media is salivating for.  A bunch of drunks got in a fight outside a bar, as happens at most bars, and then one of them made the mistake of chasing down someone with a knife and died when the fucker being chased defended himself.  When drunks argue at a bar it’s not a matter of “who started what?” because the reason for stupid ass bar fights is usually something asinine like “Don’t stare at muh girl!” or “Dallas Cowboys are number one, bitch!”.  It’s a tragedy that someone died, but please stop mentioning that Isaac Morales was in the Border Patrol.  At that moment he wasn’t a Border Patrol agent but was just one person among a group of drunk individuals who got in a stupid bar fight and chased someone with a knife.  The media should tell all sides of the story instead of immediately creating a narrative that their aging audience will prefer.  (

TAKING A PAGE FROM FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S, EL PASO’S NEW GOAL IS TO SCARE CHILDREN INTO RECYCLING WITH THE HELP OF ANIMATRONIC RECYCLING BINS – The City of El Paso has a new mascot and this time it’s an animatronic recycling bin robot that looks happy but may just be using that as a façade to make you drop your guard.  Bleu, the curbside recycling robot, has been introduced by the city to try and educate kids on the wonders of recycling – and if that doesn’t work, to give kids nightmares if they don’t recycle.  It doesn’t say how much the Environmental Services Department spent on the robot.  But at a time when the city is thinking of downsizing the curbside recycling program because of cost issues, it’s quite amusing to see that they still have funds for essential items like recycling bin robots.  (


WOW, BRAZILIAN POLITICS ARE AMAZINGLY FUCKED UP!  AND EX-PRESIDENT LULA IS TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL – In one of the oddest moments seen in politics in years, Brazilian ex-president Luis Inacio Lula da Silva refused to turn himself in to authorities and instead went to a union building in Sao Paulo and refuses to come out.  He is set to start a 12 year prison sentence for corruption but it looks like he isn’t going down without some grandstanding.  Thousands of his supporters are surrounding the building thus making any show of force to capture him a very stupid and dangerous idea.  Lula is beloved by many for his programs to get people out of poverty, but he was also accused of wasting a ton of money and being corrupt.  Lula denies that he did anything wrong and that his trial was politically motivated and thus Brazil finds itself in this conundrum.  And though this is crazy, it gets even crazier when you realize that he is so well liked that he would probably win the presidential election if he were allowed to run.  Never stop being wacky, Brazilian politics.  (

WELL, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ILLEGALLY TAKE SOMEONE’S LAND AND FORCE THEM INTO A PRISON-LIKE GHETTO.  EVENTUALLY PEOPLE GET TIRED AND FIGHT BACK – Israeli troops have murdered dozens of protesters over the past few weeks as Palestinians have gathered on the non-official “border” in an attempt to get back to their ancestral lands.  Even though many of the Palestinians have actual legal documents from generations ago that state that it is their land, the Israeli government and friends still like to point at magical books and claim that it has more legal weight than actual deed and property records.  Even by the loosest interpretation of magical books, it’s really stretching it to think that the Hebrew tribes had that much of a authoritative presence beyond a few miles around Jerusalem.  So now we find ourselves in the usual position where Israel immediately calls anyone who disagrees with them as Hamas terrorists and where the Palestinians take things a little too far and vow to kill all the Jews.  So just another day in the Middle East.  (

ONE DAY HISTORY WILL LOOK BACK AND MARVEL THAT DENNIS RODMAN AND USB DRIVES WERE THE KEY TO UNIFYING SOUTH AND NORTH KOREA.  HISTORY IS WEIRD – North Korea and South Korea have been very chummy recently and things are starting to look up for a possible friendly relationship between the two countries and, hopefully, some type of long-term unification plan.  The always excellent Discover Magazine blog has an great article on how the small and efficient USB drive has been a God-send for people in North Korea who want a taste of the outside world and how the USB information wave led to the positive reaction of the audience at a recent K-Pop concert in Pyongyang.  Although the USB drive is an important piece of the puzzle, let us never forget Dennis Rodman’s role in opening up the lines of communication and the fact that Donald Trump is such a horrible and vile idiot that South Korea feels that it can negotiate more with Kim Jong Un than with whatever idiots Donald Trump has chosen to represent America in Korea.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/30/2018


EL PASO AND JUAREZ ARE “OFFICIALLY” SISTER CITIES!  THIS IS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR YEARS RANDOMLY DECIDE TO JUST GET THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE – Although most people know that El Paso and Juarez (and Las Cruces) make up the core of the Greater Mogollon region, the sister city/twin city designation was apparently never official.  That all changed this week with a signing ceremony at the Plaza De Los Lagartos that made the sister city agreement official and concluded the surprisingly complex “sister city” process that began last year.  As a result of the event, El Paso Mayor Dee Margo and Juarez Mayor Armando Cabada stated that they hope this helps bring a common vision to the area and strengthens economic ties in the region.  So basically everyone will keep on doing what they were already doing but now there will be a fancy framed certificate on the wall!  If not already, I hope Las Cruces gets in on the act and signs a sister cities agreement with both Juarez and El Paso.  We don’t want Las Cruces to get left out.  (

LOOKS LIKE SUNLAND PARK MALL ISN’T DEAD AFTER ALL – Kudos to the Kimmelman family for expanding their Starr Western Wear empire and helping the ailing Sunland Park Mall in the process.  They did this for business and financial reasons, obviously, but It is nice that a local company is one of the first major entities to step up and try to set up at the struggling mall.  The latest Starr Western Wear will take up the space where Macy’s used to be thanks to the Kimmelman’s buying up that empty space.  This news pretty much came out of nowhere but it is extremely welcome news.  Good luck to Starr Western Wear in their latest expansion.  I’m not much for western clothes, but I might just go buy a pair of new boots from the store once it opens up to support a great local business.  (

EVEN LAS CRUCES IS GETTING IN ON THIS CONSTRUCTION BOOM – Lost in all the news of development and store openings in Downtown El Paso and the rest of the city is the fact that Downtown Las Cruces is also going through its own redevelopment boom.  The two projects that are about to open in Downtown Las Cruces are the Amador Project and the new Las Cruces Visitor’s Center.  The Amador Project will bring a much needed late night venue to the area and will include a bar, restaurants and a rooftop lounge.  The Visitor’s Center will open next door and give people a taste of all there is to do in Las Cruces as well as offer shuttle rides to Spaceport America.  Things are looking up in the region and Las Cruces has some pretty cool projects coming up.  (


WHEN YOU ARE OUT THIS WEEKEND, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT A SPACESHIP DOESN’T FALL ON YOUR HEAD – As is the custom with large space stations that go out of control, China’s Tiangong-1 Space Lab will fall to Earth and some portions of the craft will survive re-entry and make it to Earth’s surface.  Scientists are expecting the largest pieces to hit harmlessly in the ocean, but the cone of uncertainty is still a bit worrying.  So be careful out there and possibly wear a hat and take your umbrella just in case.  You can’t really trust a giant mass of space junk that lost control years ago.  (

I’LL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT AN EL PASO DUST STORM EVER AGAIN – If you thought the dust storms in the Chihuahuan Desert were bad, then thank your lucky stars that you don’t live in Beijing.  Not to be outdone by the weirdo wind storm that brought sand from the Sahara to parts of Europe, a massive sandstorm hit Northeast Asia and took aim right at Beijing and other cities in the vicinity.  The storm was so massive that it even reached Korea and Japan.  The sand was bad, but coupled with Beijing’s pollution this led to a very grim scenario for the Chinese capital.  So next time you get stuck in an El Paso dust storm, you can think of how good you have it compared to other dusty parts of the world.  (

FACEBOOK IS FUCKING GARBAGE – There really is nothing more to say.  Facebook is really shitty.  Most social media companies are data mining assholes, but Facebook takes the skeeviness to a whole new level.  Not only do they not give a damn about the security of their users’ data, they practically sent out a memo that said that it was okay if people inadvertently died because of their service as long as they turned a profit.  Seriously, fuck this data mining social media bullshit.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/23/2018


GOD BLESS THE WONDERFUL MONEY-MAKING PONIES AT SUNLAND PARK – It’s that time of the year again, it’s time for the annual Sunland Park Derby!  And there’s no equine herpes in sight to stop this one!  One of the most important sporting events in the region will take place this Sunday as ponies from around the country will race at the Sunland Derby in order to win large cash prizes totaling $800,000 and points to guarantee a place in the Kentucky Derby.  The favorite for this race is All Out Blitz, but we’ll all be rooting for home track favorite Runaway Ghost to make Sunland proud.  God speed, ponies!  (

WELCOME BACK, FANCY RENOVATED EL PASO STREETCARS – After an extensive restoration, the first of the six El Paso Streetcars that will be rolling around Downtown El Paso has come back from the Pennsylvania.  Most of the ground work is done on the El Paso Streetcar project and now the waiting game begins as the fancy renovated streetcars return and then are tested before the service can start back up later in the year.  Who knows how successful this service will be, but this revived streetcar looks pretty fucking cool.  (

IF THE NEW TEAM ISN’T NAMED THE EL PASO COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY UNITED, I WILL BE GREATLY DISAPPOINTED – They’re having a contest to name the new Division 2, Sub-MLS futball team that MountainStar is bringing to El Paso and we recommend that everyone enter the contest and come up with the dumbest name imaginable.  Bonus points if you can work in an arena/stadium/Duranguito reference into the name of the team.  (


WE SALUTE THE “MARCH FOR OUR LIVES” STUDENTS FOR THEIR FIGHT AGAINST ARCHAIC GUN LAWS AND THE NRA’S PROPAGANDA MACHINE – The “March For Our Lives” protest will be occurring on Saturday and hundreds of thousands of people are expected to gather in Washington D.C. and other cities to demand that proper government action is taken to prevent psychos and idiots from owning high powered weaponry.  While the students from Douglas High School and others are just looking for some action on the topic (as opposed to the decades of inaction by the NRA-controlled cowards in the government), this will be spinned by the alt-right and their fascist ilk into a “librul plan ta take muh guns” propaganda storm.  Let’s get one thing straight, the “March For Our Lives” protesters are pissed off but they don’t want to take all of your guns – they just want responsible action against highly unnecessary semi-automatic weapons.  You know, basic restrictions like the ones we currently have that prevent idiots from owning rocket launchers.  Technically rocket launchers count as “arms” and should be allowed under the Second Amendment.  (

MEANWHILE IN SPAIN, CATALONIA IS STILL PISSED OFF – Because things aren’t already tense enough, the Madrid government decided it would be a great idea to arrest five Catalan politicians for being “dangerous” separatist leaders.  By now it’s apparent to everyone that Catalonia will not resort to violent means to get their deserved freedom, but that doesn’t stop Madrid from taking the heavy handed approach in order to distract from the serious issues that are actually facing Spain.  Clashes have been reported in Barcelona between police and protesters and things are only getting more chaotic in Spain.  (

IT SEEMS THAT, ONCE UPON A TIME, A STAR CAME PARTICULARLY CLOSE TO THE SOLAR SYSTEM AND ACTUALLY INTERACTED WITH OUR SOLAR SYSTEM’S OORT CLOUD.  BUT DON’T GET TOO EXCITED, IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S PLANET X OR NIBIRU OR ANYTHING ……. OR IS IT? (CUE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES THEME) – Thanks to the tracking of weirdo space objects that have strange orbits in and out of the Solar System, astronomers in Europe have deduced that a large object may have come into the Oort Cloud about 70,000 years ago and caused some of the objects in this area to come into the Solar System.  This tracking prediction just happens to be supported by the discovery of Scholz’s Star a few years back and the determination that it came near the Solar System at roughly that same time and place.  At the moment this is just considered a highly coincidental correlation, but it makes for some very good circumstantial evidence.  We’re not saying that Catastrophism is accurate, but it might have some truth to it.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/16/2018


BILLY ABRAHAM IS SLOWLY RUNNING OUT OF HIS NINE LIVES AND SOON HE WILL LOSE MOST OF HIS REAL ESTATE EMPIRE IN EL PASO – After a legal fight with his creditors, who were seeking a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Mott has ordered a trustee to be assigned to sell off Billy Abraham’s 11 El Paso properties to pay off his $1.3 million debt to the relatives of Juan Gabriel and others.  Though his creditors argued that his finances and records were so muddled that more information was needed to determine how much he actually earns and what exactly it is he owns, it appears the judge will allow just the 11 registered Billy Abraham properties to be sold to cover his debts.  The money from the sale of the 11 buildings should be more than enough to cover the debt and Billy Abraham will live to fight another day with whatever businesses and real estate he has stuffed away in partnerships and corporations.  So though we are nearing the end of the nine lives of Billy Abraham, this is not the last you will hear of his wacky business adventures.  (

UTEP HAS A NEW BASKETBALL COACH!  LET’S HOPE THE NEW COACH CAN MANAGE A SEASON WITHOUT MULTIPLE PLAYERS LEAVING EVERY OTHER WEEK – Let the next chapter of UTEP Basketball begin.  Rodney Terry has left Fresno State and will be the new head basketball coach at UTEP.  He had some success at Fresno and felt that he had done all he could at Fresno State; either that or he was just looking for an excuse to get out of Fresno.  Good luck to new coach Rodney Terry and hopefully he can take UTEP out of the athletic doldrums they are currently in.  The next few seasons will be a rebuilding period, but if he can get the team to at least the NIT on an yearly basis after a few years that would be a major improvement.  It’s Confernece USA, a storied program like UTEP has no excuse not to get into at least the NIT on an yearly basis.  (

VERONICA ESCOBAR WON THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY WITH OVER 60 PERCENT OF THE VOTE AND BEAT THE CLOSEST COMPETITOR BY MORE THAN 20 PERCENTAGE POINTS.  SOMEHOW, NORMA CHAVEZ THINKS THIS MEANS THAT THERE WAS “HACKING” INVOLVED AND HER LACK OF VOTES IS NOT BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE CITY THINK SHE IS AN IDIOT – If you ever needed proof that most of the people who run for public office in El Paso are crazy idiots, look no further than the latest publicity stunt by Norma Chavez, Enrique Garcia and John Carrillo.  Normally election fraud is alleged when it is a close race and a few votes are moved to swing an election.  When you are leading in the polls and win by more than twenty percentage points it would be pretty stupid and a bit of overkill to engage in “hard drive hacking” as alleged by Norma Chavez and friends.  This scheme is so stupid and absurd that even 2nd place finisher Dori Fenenbock is staying out of the whole mess and Fenenbock took part in the almost as stupid Children’s Hospital publicity stunt that the idiot posse put together just before the election.  If anything, you can always count on El Paso politics to have a little crazy and stupid thrown in to make things entertaining.  (


SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA IS FINALLY BEING PROSECUTED FOR CORRUPTION ALMOST A DECADE AFTER THE ALLEGED GRAFT AND RACKETEERING OCCURRED.  IF SOUTH AFRICA CAN DO IT, SO CAN AMERICA.  LET’S JUST HOPE IT’S SOONER THAN A DECADE FOR THE IDIOT IN THE WHITE HOUSE TO FACE THE MUSIC – When not dealing with water shortages and the killing of random white farmers, the people of South Africa have to deal with corruption and incompetence from their leaders.  But things are looking up.  President Zuma was forced to resign his presidency last month and now the new leadership is pursuing the corruption allegations that have plagued Zuma and his cronies for years.  None of this will bring the water back, end the prejudice or fix the economy any time soon – but it’s a start.  Let’s hope that the saying “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” also applies to nations.  (

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, BENDER IS DRINKING A FORTY IN HONOR OF STEPHEN HAWKING – Famed Futurama character, and brilliant physicist, Stephen Hawking has died.  In addition to being a character on Futurama and The Simpsons, Stephen Hawking is best known for his work with relativity and quantum mechanics as well as his insight into black holes.  At age 22 he was given only a few years to live as he gradually lost most of his physical control to a rare disease and had to depend on a motorized wheelchair to move around and a computerized voice to speak.  He proved those doctors wrong and lived to age 78 and managed to produce some of his most important work after that time.  Perhaps more amazing than any of his work in physics is that he managed to leave his wife and shack up with another woman all while in this condition.  He had game.  Rest in Peace, Stephen Hawking.  (

THAT SWEEPING SOUND YOU HERE IS AUSTIN AUTHORITIES TRYING TO SWEEP THE TERRORIST MAIL BOMBINGS UNDER THE RUG IN ORDER NOT TO DISTURB THE ONGOING GENERIC CORPORATE MEDIA EVENT #1138 2018 TAKING PLACE IN AUSTIN AT THIS TIME – Terrorist mail bombings have occurred multiple times this month in Austin, killing 2 people and injuring others.  Because the victims are minorities and the bomb senders have not been identified as Muslims and/or immigrants, no one seems to care and this is just being considered a “random crime”.  But rest assured, if random white people had been targeted by Muslim immigrants then Donald Trump himself would have tweeted about this for 5 days straight and this week’s Generic Corporate Media Event #1138 2018 would have been cut short.  (