Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 3/26/2017


THE BIG PONY RACE HAS FINALLY RETURNED TO SUNLAND PARK!  NOT EVEN HORSIE HERPES CAN STOP THE SUNLAND DERBY! – A year after an outbreak forced the cancellation of the race season and the 2016 Sunland Derby, the ponies came back for a renewed season and an ultra exciting 2017 Sunland Derby.  The race was won by Hence, ridden by local race hero Alfredo Juarez Jr., who managed to take the lead late and come ahead of local favorite Conquest Mo Money.  Though it would have been nice to see local horse Conquest Mo Money win the Sunland Derby, Hence ran a great race and a local jockey was a part of the victory.  Now Hence will go on to the Kentucky Derby and Sunland Park Racetrack will move on from the turmoil of last year to bigger and better things.  Good show, ponies.  (

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT THE SOCORRO GOVERNMENT WAS BECOMING RATIONAL AND COMPETENT THEY GO AHEAD AND DO SOMETHING STUPID AND CHAOTIC FOR NO APPARENT REASON – Because of Socorro’s weirdo city rules, it is possible for city council to vote the mayor out for any random alleged impropriety.  Naturally, the Socorro government has now decided to make use of their crazy rules with hilarious results and voted to remove the mayor.  Because the current mayor, Gloria Rodriguez, allegedly used a city appointed lawyer when she was a city council representative embroiled in the equally skeevy term extension scheme, the current members of council felt she used city funds for personal gain.  To make matters worse, no mention of any city attorney or legal counsel has been made by council, so they are basically making a legal decision WITHOUT consulting a lawyer.  Now the City of Socorro will have to waste money on another election AND will have to hire an attorney to fight the upcoming legal case by the ex-mayor.  So because the Socorro city council interpreted a law without the help of a lawyer, they will have to pay tens of thousands of dollars for an election and legal fees because Gloria Rodriguez allegedly used $3,000 in services from a lawyer attained for city business.  A reprimand and a request for payment of funds would have been much cheaper AND would have actually resulted in the city making some money.  Way to be competent, City of Socorro.  You make the current batch of spineless wonders at El Paso City Hall look like geniuses in comparison.  (

THEY’RE FINALLY PUTTING A LINEAR PARK NEXT TO ONE OF THE CANALS IN EL PASO!  THE CITY OF EL PASO DID SOMETHING GOOD AND EFFICIENT!  THE SKY IS FALLING! – For years, many people have begged the City of El Paso to do something about the eyesore canals that criss-cross the lower valley other than just fencing them and making them even scarier and more dangerous.  Finally the city has listened to the masses and will not only clean up the canals, but will turn the surrounding areas into super long linear parks that everyone can use.  The first canal project will be part of a larger city-wide park project and will turn 3.5 miles of the Playa Drain from Ascarate to Riverside Park into a beautiful urban trail and linear park.  Eventually the urban trail will reach all the way to Capistrano Park past Ysleta High School and will hopefully be used as a model to improve ALL the canals in the city in a similar manner.  Next on our “competent city wish list” is a request to turn all the god awful ponding areas into park/ponds that can actually be used by people instead of being wasted space.  If you’re going to dig a giant fucking hole in the ground to combat perceived flooding issues, you might as well spend a few extra bucks to engineer it into a usable park as well.  (


VLADIMIR PUTIN IS JUST JEALOUS OF ALEXEI NAVALNY’S GIANT BALLS OF STEEL – One of the most dangerous jobs in the world is being an anti-Putin, opposition leader in Russia.  So that makes Alexei Navalny one of the toughest men in the world.  This weekend Navalny led protests in Russia against corruption and the Russian leadership who are stealing from the people.   The protests were peaceful, but the Russian government doesn’t like it when people point out things like “corruption” and “incompetence” so they started arresting the protesters, including Navalny.  The leader is safe, for now, and this protest shows that the good people of Russia are still willing to fight for freedom and against authoritarian scumbags.  In closing, Alexei Navalny has big balls.  (

CANADA IS SET TO ANNOUNCE A PLAN FOR COUNTRYWIDE MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION BY 2018.  DON’T TELL THE REPUBLICANS OR THEY MIGHT BUILD A WALL WITH CANADA TO PREVENT THE “EVILS” OF MARIJUANA – Plans are underway to introduce legislation in April that will seek to legalize marijuana in Canada by 2018.  This is the logical next step in the dismantling of the horrible “war on drugs” and it’s good to see at least one country in North America be a shining beacon of liberty and progress.  It will take a long time for America to follow the lead, but if this is successful the dominoes will hopefully fall in other progressive countries in Europe and some of the non-crazy, rational states in the U.S.  This is still in the early stages, but at least they are seriously discussing this topic in Canada and being smart about the fight against illegal drugs.  And to anyone bitching about the dangers of marijuana, alcohol is waaaaaaaaaay more dangerous than weed and that doesn’t stop these so-called conservatives from pounding back a few Bud Lights like a good ol’ blue collar boy.  (

DONALD TRUMP IS A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT AND NOT VERY GOOD AT “DEALMAKING” – In the ever growing list of Donald Trump failures, the idiot was unable to pass a Repbulican-created, anti-Obamacare bill in a congress that is MAJORITY Republican.  This is the equivalent of failing to give out free slices of cake at a fat camp.  The bill was utter garbage that would have made everyone unhappy, but Donald Trump still decided to try and push it through based on the strength of his “charisma” and “dealmaking”.  Although once it failed he distanced himself from his stupid bill and blamed everyone but himself for its failure – classic Donald.  Kudos to the Freedom Caucus for showing some backbone and principle and being the voting bloc in the Republican party that kept the bill from passing.  Their hearts were in the wrong place and wanted to completely destroy the program regardless of how many people died, but you have to admire them for sticking to their guns and not bowing down to Donald Trump.  At least they know the proper definition for “fiscally conservative”.  (


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