Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/15/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE WORST KEPT SECRET IN THE HISTORY OF EL PASO IS FINALLY OUT.  BETO O’ROURKE IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES ……. OR IS HE? – In news that surprised practically no one, Beto O’Rourke has officially announced that he is running for President and will be seeking the nomination from the Democratic Party.  After months of building up hype, he kicked off his campaign by visiting small towns in Iowa and there is no doubt that he is committed to the campaign.  After Beto’s close loss to Ted Cruz in the Texas Senate campaign, his stock has only been rising and he is now one of the front-runners in the election.  Whatever happens, we still love you Beto.  You put Paso Del Norte in a positive light and always stood up when someone said negative things about the city.  Good luck, Beto O’Rourke.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EL PASO LOST A J.C. PENNEY IN DOWNTOWN, BUT IT LOOKS LIKE IT WILL BE GAINING AN IMPROVED BUILDING IN THE FUTURE – The loss of the J.C. Penney store in Downtown El Paso was a big economic loss for the area, but with that loss came the hope that an even bigger economic gain might be gained in the future.  That hope appears to have been rewarded as the new owners of the building – M.J.C.P. L.L.C. – look to be pushing forward with their impressive plans to fully renovate the building into an amazing mixed-use project.  The Downtown Management District has just awarded a $25,000 grant to the owners of the building as part of its Commercial Façade Improvement Grant program and this is just the latest piece of the puzzle for this ambitious project that looks to restore the building to its original glory.  Having an economic driver like J.C. Penney was nice for the area, but having that ugly concrete tomb façade that they built around the building removed and replacing it with the original look of the building will be even greater for the area.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

IT’S JUST LIKE BATTLEBOTS, BUT WITHOUT THE SPARKS AND COOL DESTRUCTION – Congratulations to the Horizon High School Robotics team for winning the state championship at the Vex State Robotics Tournament and for earning a place at the world championships that will take place in Louisville in late April.  Kudos, Horizon High Robot Wranglers.  Your reward for doing good is a trip to Louisville!  Hey, that’s not Disneyland.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

RIGHT WING NUT JOBS STRIKE AGAIN, THIS TIME WITH A HORRIBLE TERRORIST ATTACK IN NEW ZEALAND.  BUT ACCORDING TO THOSE IN POWER IT’S ONLY TERRORISM WHEN PEOPLE WHO AREN’T WHITE DO IT – Tragedy struck in New Zealand when an idiot, incel, right wing, chan-user decided to take out all his frustrations and racist aggression on innocent Muslims worshiping in two Mosques in Christchurch.  As a result, 49 people were killed and many more were injured in what is the worst terrorist attack in New Zealand’s history.  What made this even more disturbing was that the cunt who did this posted about it on 8chan before starting and even sent a link to the Facebook livestream that he was running while on his terrorist attack.  Add to that the fact that tech companies were unable to stop the spread of the footage after the fact on multiple platforms and you have a situation that lays bare many of the problems that society faces today.  But honestly, fuck this guy and all the other racist fucks on the internet and the people in power who still coddle all these sick fucks by refusing to call it a terrorist attack.  We’re living in really fucked up times.  (bbc.com)

RICH PEOPLE CAN BUY THEMSELVES INTO ELITE COLLEGES?  I’M SHOCKED!  NEXT THING YOUR GOING TO TELL ME THAT RICH AND CONNECTED PEOPLE CAN TRADE MONEY AND FAVORS TO GET GOOD JOBS AND HIGH RANKING GOVERNMENT POSITIONS – A large-scale college “fraud” scheme has been unearthed by government investigators and almost 50 people have been charged in the scheme.  The kingpin of this operation was Rick Singer who used his California-based “college prep” business to help rich and famous people – including actresses Lori Loughlin and Felicity Huffman – get their unqualified children into any college they desired.  Some of the “services” offered by Singer involved funneling bribes to college administrators in addition to helping students cheat on SAT exams.  Although many people are clutching their pearls over this, it’s pretty common knowledge that getting into a good school, getting a good job and getting the best breaks in life are made much easier by how much money you have and how many connected people you know.  Though most people call it “networking”, that’s pretty much a code word for kissing ass and getting a buddy to get you into a good job or hook you up with important clients without any merit.  Did you honestly think America was a meritocracy or something fair like that?  (reuters.com)

OTTERS ARE SOME OF THE MOST ADORABLE CREATURES IN THE WORLD.  AND NOW THEY ARE THE MOST ADORABLE CREATURES TO LEAVE AN ARCHAEOLOGICAL RECORD! – A new study in Scientific Reports suggests that otters and their use of stone tools can leave an archaeological record that is distinct from humans.  Most of the evidence comes from otters and their use of rocks to pry open clams and other shelled sea creatures in order to eat their yummy meat.  When otter use the stones they leave distinct markings on the rocks and also reveal a unique breakage pattern in shells.  Using what has been observed in otter stone tools, scientists can determine where old otter colonies lived and also help distinguish if humans or otters were the ones leaving these clues in the fossil record.  I only wish otters knew how to write so that we could have adorable otter-hieroglyphs scattered around the world.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

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