Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 03/05/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EVEN THE EL PASO POLICE DEPARTMENT SAYS THAT MAKING LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT HANDLE IMMIGRANT-RELATED ISSUES IS A STUPID WASTE OF TIME.  BUT APPARENTLY DONALD TRUMP AND REDNECKS THAT LIVE HUNDREDS OF MILES FROM THE BORDER KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS THAN ACTUAL COPS WHO WORK NEXT TO MEXICO – Kudos to El Paso Police Chief Greg Allen for speaking out against having the police department enforce immigration laws.  He honestly lays it out and flat out says that his department is understaffed and that there is no money or time to train the current officers on federal immigration procedures.  So unless Donald Trump, wants to start giving free money to border police forces, none of his stupid ideas will work out.  It’s also good to see Chief Allen speak out against this bullshit “sanctuary city” nonsense that idiots like Greg Abbott constantly bitch and moan about.  The El Paso Police Department might not be perfect, but they have their shit together.  (elpasoinc.com)

LAS CRUCES IS LEADING THE WAY FOR MARIJUANA LEGALIZATION IN NEW MEXICO.  EVENTUALLY NORTH KOREA, SAUDI ARABIA AND TEXAS WILL BE THE ONLY PLACES WHERE MARIJUANA IS ILLEGAL.  TEXAS IS SO ADVANCED, Y’ALL! – CANNAville, an educational medical marijuana festival, set up shop in Las Cruces this weekend in an attempt to demystify the industry and make these services more accessible to the public.  There is still much work to be done to make ALL marijuana legal in New Mexico, but southern New Mexico is pulling its weight to get it done.  Alcohol is waaaaaaay more dangerous than marijuana and it’s already legal in New Mexico – so it’s not like crime is going to get any worse if you legalize a safer alternative to booze.  (kvia.com)

KEEP YOUR HEADS UP, BURGES AND ANDRESS, YOU KICKED ASS THIS YEAR – Kudos to the Burges and Andress boys basketball teams for making to the elite eight and sweet sixteen, respectively, of the state tournament.  Both teams had their chances, but lucky breaks by the other team took their toll in both games.  Burges and Andress seem to always have great teams every year, so they should be back even stronger.  (kvia.com)

 

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

NOW SOUTH SUDAN HAS TO DEAL WITH A FAMINE IN ADDITION TO A CIVIL WAR.  GOD HELP SOUTH SUDAN – South Sudan doesn’t usually get much media attention, but it would be nice if the world starts paying attention to what is happening to South Sudan at this very moment.  The war is bad enough, but combined with the ongoing famine this will be catastrophic for South Sudan.  The UN and aid organizations are trying to help the poor civilians, but it’s hard to help when the idiot factions in the middle of the civil war are shooting at anyone who even tries to do something nice in the country.  If anything, just being aware of what is happening in South Sudan is a good start in trying to change things in that country.  (un.org)

AUSTRALIA IS PLANNING ON USING DRONES TO KILL FERAL CATS IN ISOLATED AREAS THAT THREATEN NATIVE WILDLIFE.  IF ONLY THE ABORIGINAL PEOPLE OF AUSTRALIA HAD DRONES ALL THOSE CENTURIES AGO – The feral cat overpopulation, and resulting wildlife massacre, in isolated areas of Australia is getting so bad that the government is using NEW and EXCITING ways to try and tackle the problem.  Normally they would just train dogs to protect the wildlife from cats, cheaper and more logical, but I guess the cats are starting to work with Al Qaeda and they need new technology to combat the meow meow terrorist menace.  The pilot program will occur on Christmas Island and the drones will be used to drop poisoned kangaroo sausages on unsuspecting  feral cats.  I swear to God, I didn’t make that up – Australia is going to use POISON KANGAROO SAUSAGES dropped from FUCKING DRONES to kill feral cats.  At least they’re not building a giant wall to keep the cats out, that would just be a stupid and ineffective waste of money.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

DONALD TRUMP WILL ALWAYS BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – Donald Trump started the week on a high note, for him anyway, when he delivered a mediocre speech to congress that promised the stars and the moon but offered no real or logical plan on how those things would actually be accomplished.  The fact that he didn’t start saying racist and stupid things to congress was enough for the speech to be hailed a success, and then it was discovered that Attorney General Jeff Sessions committed borderline perjury during his confirmation questioning and Donald Trump returned to Twitter to make an ass of himself.  This all hit its crescendo over the weekend when Donald Trump accused Barack Obama of putting a wiretap in Trump Tower during the election.  There is no actual proof of this happening and it seems that his sources are just random blog entries and Breitbart stories, but that’s enough for Donald Trump to think that Obama was monitoring his conversations.  I’m not sure he even means that Obama ordered the FBI to wiretap his building, I think he LITERALLY believes that Obama personally entered Trump Tower using his terrorist magic to put a wiretap on his phone and then personally sat there and listened to his conversations.  Donald Trump is such a fucking idiot that he might believe that Obama was personally stalking him over the course of the election.  Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (bbc.com)

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