Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/09/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE STREETCARS ARE BACK IN EL PASO!  SADLY, THESE FANCY PANTS, MODERN STREETCARS WILL NOT BE PULLED BY MULES LIKE IN THE GOOD OL’ DAYS – It’s official!  As of today, the El Paso Streetcar system will be back in business after being gone for decades.  The trolleys – as the cool kids call them – are the original Presidents Conference Committee Streetcars that ran on the El Paso system back in the day and that have been lovingly restored for modern use.  The system will run on two loops from downtown to UTEP and consists of a 4.8 mile route with over twenty stops.  And as an added inauguration bonus, the streetcars will be available for free rides on weekends until January 6.  So get a move on and get on the streetcar.  Free trolleys!  Hooray!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EVEN IN FAILURE, BILLY ABRAHAM STILL WALKS AWAY WITH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.  NOTHING WILL EVER STOP WILLIAM “BILLY” ABRAHAM – It finally happened.  After all the fines, threats and lawsuits; the courts have finally auctioned off Billy Abraham’s properties in El Paso to pay off all his creditors.  In the end, 11 of his properties were sold for a total of $10.53 million in bankruptcy court this week.  The sales amount will allow all his creditors to be paid and leaves him with a substantial amount of money to do as he pleases.  This marks a new chapter in the history of Downtown El Paso as some wonderful historic landmarks (such as the Kress Building and Caples Building) will now be in the hands of people who should be able to renovate them and bring them back to their old glory.  Interestingly enough, Paul Foster was shut out of the auction when he was unable to purchase the Kress Building after bidding got to high.  This was the only building he made a move on even though he had shown great interest in buying up all the buildings in an earlier offer that was rejected by Abraham.  As for Billy Abraham, he now has spending money so he can finally buy an old building and renovate it – that or he just uses up all his cash and turns The Tap bar into some super nightclub.  (elpasotimes.com)

AFTER YEARS OF POINTLESS LEGAL FIGHTS, A COURT OF APPEALS HAS RULED THAT THE CITY OF EL PASO HAS THE RIGHT TO HOST SPORTS, AND WHATEVER IT WANTS, INSIDE THE WAITING-T0-BE-BUILT ARENA.  AND WE’RE SLOWLY GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE MAX GROSSMAN WILL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR GOOD AND BE COMPLETELY IGNORED BY THE MEDIA – The Downtown Arena project is closer to reality now as the courts have removed a major obstacle to attracting tenants and sponsorships for the arena.  Though there is still room for more appeals, it looks like sports will be a major part of the downtown arena.  It would probably be best for critics of the arena to just compromise and work for the preservation of some buildings and the facades of the more unique structures before their grandstanding results in the entire neighborhood getting flattened.  The courts at the federal level would not get involved with property rights and at this point there is no real reason to save the entire arena footprint as is.  Just pick the most important structures and at least get the city to incorporate the buildings or the facades into the final arena complex.  Hopefully Max Grossman will finally ride off with his butt buddy to Houston and someone intelligent will finally step up among the “historians” and “conservationists” to work out a compromise that gets the arena built and saves a few of the more meaningful structures in the area.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

“CALIFORNIA IS BURNING” IS A PHRASE THAT GETS MORE USAGE EVERY YEAR.  SO WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM CLIMATE CHANGE PATTERNS IS THAT SOME PLACES WILL GET SWALLOWED BY THE OCEAN AND CALIFORNIA WILL JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST – Multiple fires are raging in California and two of them look pretty bad.  The Camp Fire in northern California practically wiped out the town of Paradise and the Woolsey Fire in the southern part of the state looks to destroy tons of homes around the Malibu area.  To add insult to injury, the Woolsey Fire is raging around the city of Thousand Oaks which just went through a terrible mass shooting/terrorist attack this past weekend that claimed the lives of 12 people in a country music bar.  Although the fires are not completely contained, most of the endangered areas have been evacuated and the firefighters on the ground will do all they can to limit loss of life and property.  It’s a sad state of affairs when writing about deadly forest fires and mass shootings becomes common practice.  Be careful out there, everyone.  (reuters.com)

IT WASN’T A BLUE TSUNAMI, BUT THE ELECTIONS DID PRODUCE A SIGNIFICANT BLUE WAVE – The mid-term elections are over and Democrats have taken over the House of Representatives and have come ever so close to flipping the Senate.  The Senate dream was a bit of a stretch considering most of the seats up for grabs were in majority Republican-held, hillbilly territory that worships Donald Trump – but they did come close.  So it might not have been a complete rebuke of Donald Trump and his idiot xenophobic, fascist policies – but the people have spoken and they are mad.  And even though he didn’t win, Beto O’Rourke lost the Texas Senate race by only 200,000 votes or so and helped lift Democrats around the state to upset wins.  It’s pretty amazing that a Democrat came that close to winning a statewide contest in Texas of, all places.  Maybe the state is finally turning blue.  You made El Paso fucking proud, Beto.  Onward to 2020 where hopefully we will finally be rid of the orange, fascist sack of shit in the White House.  (fivethirtyeight.com)

OUMUAMUA IS PROBABLY NOT A PIECE OF AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT, BUT IT MIGHT BE.  THE ONLY THING THAT SCIENTISTS CAN ALL AGREE ON IS THAT IT WAS WEIRD AND PENIS-SHAPED – Oumuamua was the weirdo space object that entered the solar system (and our hearts) from a weird trajectory last year that instantly generated speculation about being interstellar and maybe even an alien object.  In addition to the weird path in travels, its penis shape has also been a mystery because no known space objects of that size resemble a penis.  A new study by Harvard astronomers Shmuel Bialy and Abraham Loeb has suggested that because of its shape, size, trajectory and speed that it might be a solar sail or some other similar object from an alien spacecraft.  While the research offers this as just one possible explanation, many people have criticized the report.  But as it stands, it’s either alien space junk or a one-in-a-million penis-shaped object from a penis solar system where everything is shaped like penises.  You decide!  (abc.net.au)

 

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