Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION – 09/21/2018


BECAUSE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT THE BORDER, THEY WILL NOW WASTE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO REPLACE THE WORTHLESS FENCE IN DOWNTOWN EL PASO, THAT WAS NOT NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE, WITH AN EQUALLY WORTHLESS “WALL” – The Trump administration will start construction on Saturday for a project to replace the Jurassic Park-style fence in Downtown El Paso with an equally garish border wall that will have no added benefit on the current situation in that area.  But with a bigger fence the Border Patrol agents in that area will now have more time to scratch their ass and shoot at children at Juarez who may or may not be throwing rocks.  Although this wall will be an abomination in the Chihuahuita neighborhood, it’s interesting to note that Max Grossman and his billionaire butt buddy in Houston have not chimed in about the importance of “saving El Paso history” in this area.  I guess that whole “saving history” shtick is only valid for certain projects.  Some local organizations are fighting this stupid waste of money with all their might, but it is all for naught.  When the fascist federal government decides to do something, they will gladly violate any and all laws to get their racist projects done.  The only way to get rid of the fascists is to vote them out, if we don’t vote against fascism we will only have ourselves to blame if the far right extremists destroy the country.  (

GOODBYE, WYLER AERIAL TRAMWAY.  IT’S A SHAME THE TEXAS PARKS AND WILDLIFE DEPARTMENT IS SO FUCKING INCOMPETENT THEY COULDN’T GIVE THE COMMUNITY ADVANCE WARNING THAT THE TRAMWAY HAD TO BE REPLACED AND WAS NO LONGER “SAFE” – After decades of service, the Wyler Aerial Tramway was suddenly shut down after the texas Parks and Wildlife Department cited an engineering report that implied that the tramway might be beyond its normal operating range in terms of years.  Although safety is important, the fact that the idiots in this texas agency decided to do this at the last minute with no planning or public outreach really leaves a bad taste in everybody’s mouth.  Naturally, Austin says there is no money to reopen or replace the tram even though it has passed inspections and is as good as ever.  So once more, we get fucked by Austin and don’t even get a chance to save one of El Paso’s most beloved attractions.  God, the texas government is full of dumbasses.  (

YSLETA HIGH SCHOOL GIVES ONE LAST HOORAH FOR PAUL CAIN – One of Ysleta High’s most beloved teachers passed away earlier this year, but the school has not forgotten Paul Cain and will honor him during homecoming for the decades of service he gave to the school.  Mr. Paul Cain has been named the Grand Marshal (in memorial) for the homecoming parade and his family will speak during homecoming festivities this weekend.  Paul Cain taught at Ysleta for 42 years and in that time helped lead the school to multiple High Q championships as well as mentoring many students who would go on to attend prestigious universities such as MIT.  Good show, Ysleta.  Good show, Mr. Cain.  (


WOW, THIS WHOLE BREXIT THING IS WORKING OUT REMARKABLY WELL.  WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! – In news that surprised no one, British Prime Minister Theresa May is finding out the hard way that based on population, economics and every possible metric imaginable – the European Union has the dominant hand in negotiations with the UK.  Some delusional people probably thought the tail could wag the dog when they voted for Brexit, but now they are realizing that they can’t have their cake and eat it too and will have to accept what the European Union wants if they still want to be treated as part of (but not really part of) the common European market.  This in turn has inspired Theresa May to throw a temper tantrum and proclaim that the EU is not treating the UK with “respect”.  Geez, you’re the fuckers who voted to leave the Union and then went begging for special treatment from the SAME FUCKING PEOPLE you voted to split away from.  These Brexiteers really have a delusional sense of entitlement.  (

LOOKS LIKE CHINA AND THE VATICAN ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS NOW.  GUESS RELIGION ISN’T THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE AFTER ALL – Even though China is a “communist” nation, they still allow state-monitored religion and even have their own state-sponsored offshoot of the Catholic faith.  But after more than 70 years, it appears like the Chinese government and the Vatican will resume diplomatic relations and allow the millions of Catholics in China to be considered official Catholics by all parties.  Historically, Chinese Catholics were split between the state-sponsored variety and the underground church that did not want to be told what to do by Beijing.  If relations resume, the Vatican will have a say in who is chosen as a Bishop and the official clergy in China and will also create a better opportunity to unite and expand the church in China.  Not everyone is excited about this move by the Vatican, but at least no one is claiming to be Jesus Christ’s brother.  As long as we don’t get a repeat of Hong Xiuquan and the Taiping Rebellion, we can call this a win for Christianity in China.  (

IT’S HITLER VERSUS LENNIN IN A POLITICAL BATTLE FOR THE HEART OF A SMALL PERUVIAN TOWN.  EVEN COMPARED TO HITLER VS. LENNIN, AMERICAN POLITICS IS STILL MORE FUCKED UP – Because people in small South American towns like to give their kids weirdo names, we have the odd mayoral campaign in Yungar where incumbent Hitler Alba is seeking re-election against Lennin Vladimir Rodriguez Valverde.  It should be noted that both men have nothing in common with their namesakes and are well aware of the negative connotations that their names give off to some people.  But that’s the name that their parents gave them and they are sticking with them because their parents didn’t really know any better when they gave them those names.  And given the vast scope of human history, every name has been shared with a horrible historical person at one point or another if you really look into it.  But yes, Hitler vs. Lennin makes for a very amusing campaign.  (


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