Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/14/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S KHALID APPRECIATION WEEKEND IN EL PASO!  PLAN ACCORDINGLY – Khalid has returned home to El Paso a conquering hero and he was rewarded by the El Paso city government with the key to the city.  In addition, Khalid will celebrate his triumphant return by playing back-to-back concerts at the Don Haskins Center on Friday and Saturday.  Well played, Khalid.  So make sure you celebrate Khalid Day by buying his album and jamming out to all his great songs – it’s the official way to celebrate this new holiday.  (cbs4local.com)

MORE THAN ONE WEEK LATER AND THE SUNSPOT OBSERVATORY IS STILL CLOSED WITH NO REASON GIVEN.  I DON’T WANT TO SAY IT’S ALIENS, BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A “WEATHER BALLOON” – Last week, the FBI mysteriously closed off the Sunspot Observatory near Cloudcroft and forced all the employees out of the premises.  No reason has been given for this closure and the tight lipped nature of the operation has led to many conspiracy theories popping up online.  It’s anybody’s guess as to what went down in the Sunspot Observatory.  But we can all agree that the authorities will make up some bullshit excuse over the closure that doesn’t even begin to explain the use of Blackhawk helicopters and federal agents on an NMSU facility.  My money is on an official explanation involving swamp gas and birds that look like UFOs.  (kvia.com)

I’VE SAID IT BEFORE, EL PASO NEEDS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER LIKE A PIG NEEDS TWO ASSHOLES.  THE ENTIRE FUCKING CITY IS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER.  IT’S MORE THAN 2/3 “MEXICAN AMERICAN” AND “MEXICAN AMERICAN” IS THE DOMINANT CULTURE IN THE REGION! – As long as the city doesn’t go over budget and keeps the money spent in a respectable range, the Mexican American Cultural Center is okay.  It’s a stupid idea, but if it makes people happy and can be used by the entire community it will be a nice thing.  The latest plan to keep costs down is to expand the Downtown library with a new building and include the cultural center in the improved library/center complex.  This would cut down on costs and fit in nicely with the nearby history museum and future children’s museum.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want to show off their Latino Superman nonsense and are asking for an even bigger center that requires even more taxpayer money.  These people are idiots and, even if they disrupt community meetings, they should just be ignored and the most financially responsible option should be used.  If there is no private sector push, let’s not let this snowball into a massive waste of money.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AT ONE POINT THIS WEEK, THERE WERE FOUR NAMED STORMS IN THE ATLANTIC IN ADDITION TO ALL THE OTHER STORMS RAMBLING AROUND IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN.  AND THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BELOW-AVERAGE HURRICANE SEASON! – As Hurricane Florence soaks the Carolinas and Typhoon Mangkhut makes its way towards the Philippines and China, a bunch of other storms of varying sizes are twirling around all around the globe.  Whether you call them hurricanes, typhoons or cyclones; these storms are dangerous and all should be on alert when in their vicinity.  If this is a below-average season, I can’t imagine what it would be like if we were in an above-average season.  (bbc.com)

REMEMBER WHEN EBOLA OUTBREAKS WERE CONSIDERED SCIENCE FICTION AND THE WORLD WAS SCARED OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY BECAME REALITY?  AH, SIMPLER TIMES.  NOWADAYS EBOLA OUTBREAKS ARE SO COMMON IN AFRICA THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD JUST IGNORES THEM – Lost in the news cycle is the current Ebola outbreak impacting the Democratic Republic of Congo.  The outbreak has been occurring since August and 91 people have died out of 133 cases.  To make matters worse, this is all occurring among the backdrop of warring militant groups fighting for control of this part of the Congo.  Normally this would be pretty big news, but the rest of the world doesn’t really care about poor countries like Congo and tragedies like this are more common than many people think.  The global community should really pay attention to issues like this before they burn out of control.  (telegraph.co.uk)

IN ADDITION TO BEING A SMUG, SACK OF SHIT CONSERVATIVE ZEALOT; LOOKS LIKE BRETT KAVANAUGH IS ALSO A SEXUAL PREDATOR.  THIS WON’T DISQUALIFY HIM FROM THE SUPREME COURT AND ONLY MAKES HIM MORE IN LINE WITH REPUBLICAN IDEALS.  HE’LL BE ABLE TO JOIN FELLOW SEXUAL PREDATOR, CLARENCE “COCA COLA PUBIC HAIR” THOMAS, ON THE SUPREME COURT AND FOLLOW ORDERS FROM ULTIMATE SEXUAL PREDATOR, DONALD TRUMP – Brett Kavanaugh is an idiot conservative zealot and a lap dog for Donald Trump.  For those reasons, he should not be on the Supreme Court.  Though now it seems we can add sexual predator to Kavanaugh’’s list of accomplishments.  A woman has come forward and revealed that Brett Kavanaugh attempted to drunkenly sexually assault her at a high school party back in the ‘80s.  In his defense, getting drunk and trying to take advantage of incapacitated girls is the accepted norm for hypocrite Republicans.  So the Donald Trump shitshow just keeps on growing and we can only expect more creepy stories to come out regarding Brett Kavanaugh.  The guy literally looks like the adult bro embodiment of date rape and roofie abuse.  (newyorker.com)

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *