Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/03/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL TIME AGAIN!  AND ONCE MORE THEY HAVE SHUNNED DEUCE BIGELOW:  MALE GIGOLO – One of El Paso’s best yearly events is the Plaza Classic Film Festival.  The movie lover’s dream returns this week with more than a week of excellent movies chock full of special guests and related events.  This year there is an even bigger focus on movies with local connections and even a museum exhibit dedicated to the greater Paso Del Norte region and its role in film history.  So make sure you check out at least one movie this festival season.  You can’t go wrong with seeing a classic film in the gorgeous movie palace known as the Plaza Theatre.  The festival runs from August 2 to 12 and you can find more information at plazaclassic.com.  (elpasoinc.com)

EL PASO HAS ANOTHER WORLD CHAMPION – Kudos to Andres Hernandez for winning the gold in the 200 freestyle, in addition to other medals in the 100 freestyle and the 100 back, at the World Swimming Championships for Down syndrome that took place in Canada recently.  Andres has been competing for years and this time out beat competitors from over 20 countries to get his medals.  Congratulations to Andres.  He makes the region proud.  (cbs4local.com)

FRIENDLY ESTONIANS ARE INVADING EL PASO WITH BOOKS!  RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! – Because everyone on Facebook is a moron, “worried” parents created a mini-scare among an El Paso parents Facebook group when they shared stories of foreign exchange student booksellers roaming the city.  This being Facebook, people immediately jumped to conclusions and started talking about human trafficking, child abductions and other preposterous scenarios.  Naturally, the local news media got involved and calmed everyone’s nerves by discovering that the book sellers were Estonian students that were ensnared by, borderline pyramid scheme, Southwest Advantage to sell books during their summer break.  So no, Estonians are not here to kidnap your children.  They might be a bit pushy when selling books, but please be polite if you encounter them in your neighborhood.  They are guests in our community and we should be friendly and make them feel welcome.  Whoever assigned these poor souls to sell books in Clint during the middle of summer is one messed up individual.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

ON A POSITIVE NOTE, AT LEAST MUGABE ISN’T LEADER OF ZIMBABWE ANYMORE – The first open democratic election in Zimbabwe in decades started out well and then turned into a bloody riot once the results came in earlier this week.  The vote was close, but in the end incumbent President Emmerson Mnangagwa and his party won re-election with a majority of the seats in power.  The close result and long delay in the count have caused some of the population to think that the vote was rigged and this led to deadly protests on the day the results were first released.  Opposition leader Nelson Chamisa has also rejected the results and claims to have really won the election thus making a tense situation that much more dangerous.  Though no serious voting irregularities were reported, Zimbabwe has a SLIGHT reputation for being corrupt and that has led the population to question the results. Regardless, Zimbabwe is still doing WAAAAAAY better than when idiot Mugabe was in charge.  (bbc.com)

AT THIS RATE, EUROPE WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IMMIGRANTS ANYMORE.  BECAUSE EUROPE WILL BE BURNED TO A CRISP AND EVERYONE WILL BE DEAD.  ONLY THE LAVA PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO MIGRATE TO EUROPE – Temperatures are expected to approach the continental record of 118 degrees Fahrenheit the next few days when temps in parts of Spain and Portugal flirt with that hellish mark.  The rest of Europe is also burning up and the heatwave of 2018 continues to be one for the ages.  But of course, global climate change doesn’t exist so this is all an illusion and fake news.  If everyone just ignores the high temperatures, like climate change, the temps will magically go back to normal.  Take care, Europe.  In addition to rising sea levels, desertification and the expansion of existing deserts is one aspect of climate change that many people overlook.  Let’s just hope Europe doesn’t become Sahara 2.  (bbc.com)

THAT IS ONE INTERESTING WEIRDO ROGUE PLANET – Turns out the weirdo rogue object that is floating in the Milky Way is not a Brown Dwarf, but a really big planet.  The orb’s unofficial name has been shortened to SIMP and it is now been deemed a planet because it is just “small” enough to fit in that category.  It seems our giant orb friend also has a powerful magnetic field, is really hot and might have a moon!  The universe is really, really weird.  Let’s just hope SIMP doesn’t decide to wander into our Solar System and play billiards with all his new orb friends.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

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