Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 06/08/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

REMIND ME TO NEVER PISS OFF A HAIL STORM – An American Airlines flight from San Antonio to Phoenix made an emergency landing in El Paso after it went into the path of a severe Thunderstorm last Sunday.  This was the same system that brought heavy rains and hail to the El Paso area on Sunday and judging by the after-pictures of the plane it was one hell of a severe storm.  I don’t know how large the hail stones were, but they busted up the windshield and “completely fucked up the plane’s nose cone” (actual aviation term).  Luckily no one was seriously injured in the incident and the plane will be repaired and live to fly another day.  But let this be a lesson to everyone, don’t mess around with desert thunderstorms – they can cause a lot of damage.  (cbs4local.com)

AFTER MULTIPLE INSPECTIONS, THE CITY OF EL PASO IS TAKING ACTION AGAINST THE OWNERS OF A BATTERED DOWNTOWN BUILDING TO KEEP IT UP TO CODE.  THE PLOT TWIST IS THAT THE BUILDING DOESN’T BELONG TO BILLY ABRAHAM, FOR ONCE – The Popular Building in Downtown El Paso is a historic landmark designed by Henry Trost that once housed the Popular Department Store.  Unfortunately, its glory days are long gone and the current owners aren’t exactly rushing to fix the property.  After multiple violations, including mold and exposed electrical wires, the City of El Paso has finally put its foot down and given Fallas Paredes and its parent company 30 days to fix the most pressing problems at the building before fines and other punishments are levied on the owners.  The building still has retail and some apartments on the first few floors and the owners do seem to have a legitimate restoration plan, so hopefully this will kick start the renovation of the building.  Worst case scenario is that Billy Abraham somehow buys the building and nothing gets done for decades until he is sued by the estate of another deceased pop star.  (elpasoinc.com)

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTISTS! – The Paso Del Norte music scene produces tons of great artists and now they have a new outlet to be heard … the El Paso International Music Foundation.  The foundation is a great idea that hopes to offer networking and exposure opportunities to local musicians trying to get their music heard.  And keeping with the El Paso music scene tradition, you can expect a lot of drama and everybody sleeping around with everyone else’s boyfriends/girlfriends.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

GUATEMALA’S FUEGO VOLCANO LIVED UP TO ITS NAME WITH DEADLY RESULTS.  ON A RELATED NOTE, NEVER BUILD YOUR HOUSE NEXT TO SOMETHING CALLED FUEGO VOLCANO – The death toll of the disastrous Fuego volcano eruption is now over 100 as authorities and the people of Guatemala struggle during the recovery phase.  The volcano erupted with a big explosion earlier this week and , unlike the slow burn lava flow previously seen in Hawaii, the action in Guatemala was limited to a short period of time but produced ultra-deadly pyroclastic flows and lahars that engulfed nearby villages with minimal warning.  So as the desperate search for survivors reaches its end, the people are now looking to the authorities for help but also for answers as to why there was no warning about the impending eruption.  Let’s hope this is the last we hear from Fuego for awhile.  (reuters.com)

HOORAY!  IT’S WORLD CUP TIME!  THE MAGICAL CONTEST HELD EVERY FOUR YEARS WHERE GERMANY, SPAIN AND BRAZIL WILL COMPETE FOR THE TITLE OF SUPER MASTERS OF FUTBALL AS DOZENS OF OTHER TEAMS WITH A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL PRETEND LIKE THEY HAVE AN ACTUAL CHANCE TO WIN – The World Cup starts next Thursday and, even though FIFA chose to have it in a borderline dictatorship like Putinland, at least they didn’t pick a country like Qatar to host the most important futball tournament in the world – that would just be absurd.  So sit back and enjoy the magic as your productivity at work and in your personal life drop down to near zero as you aimlessly watch Tunisia vs. Panama while subconsciously wondering where your life went wrong.  (dailymail.co.uk)

DONALD TRUMP WILL ALWAYS BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – Donald Trump is now attacking our allies and is poised to make a fool of himself at the G7 Summit in Canada by bitching about unfair trade even though he understands nothing about global trade and business in general.  The idiot probably thinks he can make America declare bankruptcy and he can just run off with all his ill-gotten gains when the whole thing collapses.  This is sadly the reality we are living in.  Oh, and he gets to meet with Kim Jong-un next week in his attempt to strike a “deal” with North Korea.  So he has double the opportunity to make a global ass of himself in the next few days.  The bar is so low that as long as he doesn’t give North Korea any American territories or islands as part of the “deal”, people will consider it a great success.  (reuters.com)

 

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