Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/25/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WELCOME BACK, BASSETT TOWER! – After decades of neglect, the O.T. Bassett Tower has finally been renovated and many of its original features have been restored to their former glory.  The iconic El Paso tower is now an Aloft hotel and includes an bar called WXYZ that will be open to the public.  The ground floor areas at the base of the building will soon see some new restaurants that promise to inject some new life into the area.  The pictures of the renovation look excellent and show that this was a high quality project for the city.  Kudos to all involved for making this great project a reality.  (ktsm.com)

EL PASO HAS TIRZ FEVER AND THE ONLY CURE IS MORE INVESTMENT AND DEVELOPMENTS – The City of El Paso is in the process of creating 2 new Tax Increment Reinvestment Zones, aka TIRZ, and expanding an existing one to include a larger area.  The new TIRZ and the expansion area are located in Northwest and Northeast El Paso and are areas that are poised to see increased development in the coming years.  TIRZ are a government tool that allows taxes generated in the zone to be reinvested for infrastructure and other projects that are unique to the zone.  Overall, TIRZ are a great tool to encourage controlled growth and are a great way to handle taxes.  But for those who still have questions, the City of El Paso will be holding public meetings to give more details on the zones and to handle any questions, suggestions and complaints that the public might have.  Now is the time to speak up about this plan and to ask questions.  Don’t wait until the project is practically ready to start before you begin the bitching and moaning like the fuckers who don’t want the Downtown Arena.  It’s good to see the city making an attempt to handle growth and taxation responsibly.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ONCE MORE, CONGRATULATIONS GO OUT TO KHALID.  KHALID JUST CAN’T STOP WINNING AND KICKING ASS – El Paso’s beloved crooner, Khalid, has won another trophy to add to his extensive collection.  The singer won the 2018 Billboard Music Award for Top New Artist and gave El Paso a shout out in the process.  Kudos, Khalid.  Your music is awesome and you are one hell of a guy.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IRELAND WAS ONE OF THE FEW CIVILIZED COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD THAT STILL HAD EXTREME LAWS AGAINST ABORTION.  LOOKS LIKE IRELAND WILL BE CASTING THAT ANOMALY ASIDE AND WILL BE AN EVEN STRONGER MEMBER OF THE DEVELOPED WORLD – The Irish people have spoken and it looks like they are overwhelmingly behind Women’s basic rights.  For years, abortion was only legal in Ireland when a mother’s life was in danger.  But now it seems that Ireland will get less extreme laws when it comes to a woman’s right to choose.  Exit polls are showing a landslide vote in favor of changing Ireland’s laws to allow abortions within the first three months and in special cases involving rape and incest.  Although not as liberal as some of Europe’s other countries, the change to Ireland’s laws will finally give Irish women the basic rights that were denied to them for so long.  (bbc.com)

THE ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN NORTH KOREA – UNITED STATES SUMMIT APPEARS TO BE OFF AGAIN AS DONALD TRUMP AND KIM JONG-UN CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE TODDLERS WHILE HAVING NUCLEAR WEAPONS AT THEIR DISPOSAL – So after temper tantrums by both Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump, the planned June meeting between the leaders of both countries seems to be off.  This could all change at the drop of a hat, however, as we are one penis-compliment away from both sides becoming friends and declaring the end to all nuclear weapons.  Donald Trump is a moron and will probably GIVE North Korea nuclear weapons as long as Kim Jong-un compliments Donald Trump’s groin and talks shit about Hillary Clinton.  Stay tuned, you never know what to expect when idiots with nuclear weapons get together.  (bbc.com)

YES, APPARENTLY THE BORDER PATROL REALLY IS THAT FUCKING STUPID UP ON THE CANADIAN BORDER – Ana Suda and her friend are U.S. citizens and El Paso natives.  They were recently stopped at a convenience store in Havre, Montana for speaking Spanish in public and being “suspicious”.  Apparently, Border Patrol Agent Buford T. Buttfuck thought he made the bust of the century when he saw two people in Montana speaking Spanish and “obviously” planning terrorist cartel activity.  Because, in his tiny mind, drug dealers are so fucking stupid that they would bring attention to themselves by speaking Spanish in front of a Border Patrol agent in MiddleOfNowhere, Montana.  The two women were released after being questioned, but not after recording the cringe-worthy encounter with the dumbass border security guard.  Border Patrol Agents aren’t exactly the FBI or CIA and you must score really low to end up on assignment in the hinterlands of the Canadian border.  Rest assured, the Border Patrol Agents in the southern border would never be this ignorant and even they think the Border Security Guard Force patrolling Canada is the bottom of the barrel.  (cbs4local.com)

 

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