Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/16/2018


THE WAY THE BORDER PATROL UNION IS PAINTING IT, ALL THE CARTELS GOT TOGETHER AND HIRED A GIANT HOLE TO MURDER A BORDER PATROL AGENT – Once more an official government report has revealed that there is no evidence of a crime being committed in the death of Border Patrol Agent Rogelio Martinez near Van Horn a few months back.  The death of the agent and the injury of his partner was seized upon by conspiracy theorists and right wing nut jobs as proof that illegal immigrants were roaming the desert looking to kill innocent Muricans and thus proof that the border wall was needed ASAP (even though this happened a fuckload of miles away from the actual border).   This all appears to be a very tragic accident involving agents not paying attention and a deep arroyo/culvert ditch, but that won’t stop the conspiracy theorists and the Border Patrol Union from grasping at straws and declaring that master criminals planned this as an assassination for some equally outlandish reason.  (

GOOD TO SEE DOWNTOWN JUAREZ MAKING A COMEBACK – After a period of violence, Juarez has been making a comeback these past few years and Downtown Juarez is the epicenter of the revival.  A new first-run theater has opened in Juarez near the Catedral Nuestra Senora de Guadalupe and efforts continue to restore historic buildings in the area.  The multiplex is in a new shopping center created by investors and it is only one of many projects that are sprouting up in the area.  In addition, the government in Juarez is working with the government in El Paso to match the planned renovations on Avenida Juarez with the current restoration being done on El Paso Street.  Let’s hope everything gets better in Juarez and the spirit of revival in Downtown El Paso spreads into Downtown Juarez.  (

SO YOU’RE SAYING THAT THE COCAINE ON THE LAS CRUCES BUS WASN’T PART OF THE CITY’S PLAN TO INCREASE RIDERSHIP?  BUT IT WAS SUCH A GREAT IDEA! – Police in Las Cruces arrested an employee of Roadrunner Transit for allegedly selling drugs on the job.  The alleged bus station dealer is Ernesto Garcia-Quintana and he deserves some credit for doing two jobs at once, though selling drugs on the clock on government property isn’t really the best of ideas.  He was found with 18 small bags of cocaine and $1,000 of cash yet somehow is still employed with the City of Las Cruces.  And why is he still employed despite an obvious work violation?  Because Las Cruces don’t give a fuck and loves the COCAINE!  (


ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER SCHOOL SHOOTING.  IT’S GETTING DEPRESSING THAT THESE THINGS HAPPEN SO OFTEN THAT SOCIETY IS BECOMING DESENSITIZED – A school shooting took the lives of 17 innocent people in Florida this week as a deranged ex-student went to his old school on Valentine’s Day and shot up the place with an AR-15.  The tragedy at Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida seems to have struck a nerve with the American public and it looks like this might actually be a turning point in keeping semi-automatic weapons away from the hands of deranged individuals and morons.  It looks like “thoughts and prayers” won’t be enough for certain members of the government to wipe their hands clean of this and tough ACTION will actually be demanded by the people this time.  Which is a shame, because everyone knows that the most meaningful and powerful prayers come from the mouths of racist, vile, hypocrite Evangelical scumbags like Donald Trump.  (

IT TURNS OUT THAT RUSSIA WAS, IN FACT, INTERFERING WITH U.S. ELECTIONS IN 2016.  THIS WAS OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE BUT DONALD TRUMP WHO GOT A PINKY SWEAR FROM PUTIN THAT RUSSIA DID NOTHING WRONG – Robert Mueller has issued an indictment against 13 Russian nationals for meddling in the 2016 U.S. Election.  And the investigation is still going strong, so get ready for more damning evidence against those that colluded with Russia to “vote for the worst” in the 2016 elections.  While the fact that a foreign power interfered in America’s elections is pretty bad, the fact that American’s went along with it is the most disturbing thing of all.  And the Americans that went along with it are most likely the next group of people to be indicted.  Because he is a moron, Donald Trump will somehow blame all of this on Obama and claim that he and his cronies were forced by him to work with obvious Russian trolls.  (

MOVE OVER BLACK PANTHER, AFRICAN ROBIN HOOD FOUTANGA BABANI SISSOKO IS AFRICA’S TRUE UNSUNG HERO – In the mid-‘90s, Foutanga Babani Sissoko scammed a Dubai bank and others for hundreds of millions of dollars with claims that he had black magic powers that could double any investment.  Even after he was caught, he still managed to get off with a slap on the wrist and ended up giving away tens of millions of dollars away to the poor and needy in a way that would make Robin Hood proud.  He continued to evade punishment and returned to his hometown where he was elected to office and lives out his days in his homeland.  Yes, he stole money.  But the fact that he stole money directly from upper level skeevy bankers and the ultra-bastard banking industry AND then went on to give away most of the money sort of cancels everything out.  How the fuck have they not made a movie or TV show about Foutanga Babani Sissoko?  The man is a hero!  Be sure to check out the excellent article on the BBC website for the full story on this obscure modern day Robin Hood.  (


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