Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/02/2018


I GUESS COHEN STADIUM IS GOING TO BE TORN DOWN TO BUILD AN APPLEBEES, A WHATABURGER, A WAL-MART AND A COMMUNITY CENTER.  BECAUSE WHEN YOU MASH UP THE IDEAS OF HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE YOU END UP WITH A GENERIC PLAN FOR A SHOPPING CENTER – After tons of focus groups and community meetings, the City of El Paso has created the most generic plan possible for the old Cohen Stadium site.  There was some hope that Cohen Stadium would be turned into something unique like an amphitheatre, but the plan is to now bulldoze the stadium and build a generic shopping center around an empty patch of grass where the field used to stand.  Some of the ideas that residents had were amazingly stupid and wasteful, like building a direct competitor to Wet ‘N Wild using taxpayer money.  But the city caved in a bit to those whims and will now include a “regional water park” to try to fit in every stupid idea that they got in the Cohen focus groups.  At the end of the day, without any real leadership the property will just become a generic shopping center with an Applebee’s, a Whataburger and a Wal-Mart.  Just like every other generic shopping center in El Paso.  But if the focus groups want a generic Applebee’s shopping center then that’s what the Northeast will get.  (

ALTHOUGH IT APPEARS LIKE THE HISTORIC LINCOLN CENTER IS SAFE FROM DEMOLITION, THEY ARE STILL LOOKING FOR A GOVERNMENT ENTITY TO TAKE OVER AND GIVE THE BUILDING A PURPOSE.  IF ALL ELSE FAILS THEY CAN JUST TURN IT INTO AN APPLEBEE’S AND WHATABURGER – You got to give state Rep. Joe Pickett credit, when he finds a cause he likes he really throws himself into it.  Long after the community came together to save the Lincoln Center in Central El Paso from txdot’s stupid demolition plans, Joe Pickett is still fighting for funding and partners to take over the Lincoln Center.  Its one thing to save the building from demolition but someone is going to have to step up and give the building a purpose.  There is a hope that the building will be used as  community center, but a private/public partnership might have to be used to try and get ANYTHING established in that area.  If the Cohen Stadium focus groups are any indication, the people of El Paso will just ask for something outlandish and stupid at the Lincoln Center like a water park and 20 soccer fields.  Please, someone help the Lincoln Center become a useful structure once again and let’s keep the focus groups to a minimum.  (

ROBOT SEMI-TRUCKS ARE INVADING EL PASO!  WHERE IS OPTIMUS PRIME WHEN YOU NEED HIM? – It’s no surprise that autonomous vehicles will one day take over our roads and the early stages of this revolution are starting to take place in El Paso.  A test run is being conducted by three companies that are running an autonomous semi-trailer line transporting refrigerators from El Paso to California.  Although a human driver is present throughout the process to keep tabs on the system and as a backup, these are just the early stages of the autonomous vehicle revolution.  Let’s just hope the trucks aren’t evil.  I’ve seen that movie before.  (


WHO KNEW WOODPECKERS, HEADBANGERS AND FOOTBALL PLAYERS HAD SO MUCH IN COMMON? – The damage to the brain caused by concussions and severe head impacts is a hot topic these days as more and more evidence is discovered about the dangers of banging your brain repeatedly.  It’s only natural that research has turned to the majestic woodpecker, nature’s head banging brain rocking machine!  Research by Boston University graduate student George Farah on preserved woodpecker specimens has found that woodpecker brains have a similar accumulation of tau proteins as human brains that have gone through repeated head impacts.  While the role of tau proteins in the brain are still not fully known, it is apparent that the woodpecker is not impacted by this “damage” or finds a way to isolate it.  Who knew the woodpecker might be the key to better treatment for various brain ailments?  (

WE’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO CUSTOM SEX BOTS AND THE COMPLETE COLLAPSE OF CIVILIZATION.  IT’S A CREEPY, CREEPY WORLD – A free computer program known as FakeApp has been released that allows you to replace anyone’s face on any video with whatever face you want.  It’s face swapping gone mad!  The free program is quite efficient and has produced some amazingly realistic face swaps.  Naturally, 99% of the output since its release has been fake celebrity porn videos known as DeepFakes and sadly this is what the program will be known for.  Because every technology ever developed since the beginning of time has always been used for sexual gratification immediately after it was created.  It’s a creepy new world and we’re getting closer to the day when you can create a lifelike sex bot with the face of the girl who broke your heart in college.  Not that it’s crossed my mind.  That thought’s never crossed my mind.  (

YEAH, THE FANCY TV GROUNDHOG IS PROBABLY MORE ACCURATE AT WEATHER FORECASTING THAN CHUCK DEBRODER.  BUT CAN A GROUNDHOG PARTY HARDER THAN CHUCK?  I THINK NOT – Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow this Groundhog’s Day and thus we will have six more weeks of winter.  I, for one, trust Phil’s scientific acumen and have great faith in groundhog weather prediction abilities.  So when you’re freezing your ass off during a random storm in March, feel free to blame groundhogs.  (


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