Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/26/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

BUT WILL THEY LET HORSES RIDE ON THE PASO DEL NORTE SUPER TRAIL?  WILL SOMEONE PLEASE THINK OF THE PONIES? – In a plan that is long overdue, the Paso del Norte Health Foundation is spearheading the creation of a 50 mile long continuous trail that will stretch from Tornillo to the New Mexico State line.  The long gestating Paso Del Norte Trail is now in the planning phase and it’s looking like the trickiest part will be getting the trail through Dowtown El Paso in a way that makes it look like a continuous path.  Normally a trail like this would follow the river, but thanks to America’s militarized fascist wet dream of a border – that idea is not very likely.  The canals make for perfect trail routes in most of the area, but that downtown stretch is going to be a doozy.  We’re still hoping for them to announce that horses will be allowed on the trail because it would be pretty damn cool to ride a horse from the lower valley to the upper valley unimpeded.  FREE THE PONIES!  LET THEM USE THE TRAIL!  (kvia.com)

FIVE DAYS THAT SHOOK VADO, NEW MEXICO – Vado is rarely in the news, but this week was different as the region and the WORLD were fixated on the rescue of a dog with a plastic jug stuck on its head.  Although multiple rescue attempts failed to trap the dog, eventually it just saved itself and showed up one day without the jug.  People are still hoping the dog will be “rescued” and, with the help of a shelter, eventually be adopted by a good home.  Thus ends one of the most exciting chapters in the history of Vado.  Elsewhere in New Mexico; a bunch of kids were raped, people were murdered and cops shot innocent civilians in and around Albuquerque.  When the biggest news event is a community effort to save a dog with a plastic jug stuck on its head, you know that life is pretty fucking good.  (kvia.com)

ALTHOUGH NOT AS EXCITING AS A FIVE DAY DOG RESCUE, STUDENTS IN EPISD ARE DOING THEIR PART BY HELPING TO REHABILITATE A PARALYZED DOG – Kudos to the students at EPISD’s Center for Career, Technology and Education for lending a hand to help a paralyzed dog.  Camila the dog was taken by MuttLove Dog Rescue to EPISD to receive physical therapy after the dog was diagnosed with a spinal disease that left the dog paralyzed.  Veterinary students at CTE will provide the rehabilitation and engineering students will help build a custom wheelchair to help Camila get around.  Thankfully Camila did not have a plastic jug stuck to its head.  That would have taken five days for a solution to be found and the students would not have had the resources to solve such a perplexing problem.  Kudos, EPISD CTE students and everyone else involved in saving Camila.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHILE AMERICA WAS FOCUSED ON SYRIA, IRAN, NORTH KOREA AND PRACTICALLY EVERY OTHER COUNTRY ON EARTH; THE TALIBAN AND OTHER TERRORIST GROUPS DECIDED TO TAKE OVER AFGHANISTAN ONE MORE TIME – Hot on the heels of a large wave of recent Taliban attacks in Afghanistan, the daesh cunts of ISIS decided to bomb a children’s charity in the country.  Yup, ISIS is now making its presence felt in Afghanistan and have attacked the offices of Save the Children charity killing three workers and one soldier.  Donald Trump has really done a hell of a job destroying ISIS!  Naturally, the Taliban and every other terrorist in Afghanistan felt the wave of stupidity emanating from Washington D.C. and decided that now was the time to make a move.  We should probably see if we can get China to take over this mess, Lord knows a decade of American occupation in Afghanistan didn’t accomplish a damn thing.  (bbc.com)

NOW VENEZUELA IS GETTING IN A PISSING MATCH WITH EUROPE.  IT LOOKS LIKE THEIR ULTIMATE GOAL IS TO PISS OFF THE ENTIRE WORLD.  AT SOME POINT EVEN RUSSIA WILL PUT SANCTIONS ON VENEZUELA – Hot on the heels of fresh sanctions from the European Union, Venezuela has expelled the Spanish ambassador because of some imaginary conspiracy theory that Maduro pulled out of his ass.  If you’re keeping score at home, the government in Venezuela now blames America, Europe and most of the developed world for its problems.  It’s definitely not corruption and incompetence at the highest levels of Venezuela that are responsible for the human rights abuses and the shit economy.  It’s the big bad capitalist conspiracy that is keeping Venezuela down.  (bbc.com)

IF THERE’S ONE THING WE KNOW FOR SURE ABOUT THE FIRST MODERN HUMANS, IT’S THAT THEY ARE DEFINITELY OLDER THAN THE FEW THOUSAND YEARS THAT CRAZY, REDNECK, YOUNG EARTH BIBLE THUMPERS BELIEVE IN – Not only are humans much older than originally thought (about 300,000 years according to most modern evidence).  It turns out that humans may have left Africa about 100,000 years earlier than originally thought as well.  A new human fossil find in Israel has been dated to being between 177,000 to 194,000 years old and that pretty much ruins most of the timelines regarding humanity’s exit from Africa.  Science is an ever evolving mystery that just keeps on getting more interesting with every new puzzle piece.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

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