Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/24/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TXDOT ONCE AGAIN SHOWS OFF IT’S AMAZING PROBLEM SOLVING SKILLS BY SHUTTING DOWN A MAIN ROAD FOR HOURS AND SIMPLY SHRUGGING THEIR SHOULDERS AS THE PROBLEM GROWS – On Thursday afternoon a tractor trailer pulling a load of propane flipped over on Montana near Hueco Tanks and caught fire.  As a result the fire and wreck led to the closure of the road, a closure that still continues today.  So for over 24 hours, txdot’s response to a propane fire that is blocking a major road is to close the road and shrug their shoulders as they ask drivers to go make their own detour.  If one day you are faced with a fire, just let it burn and make up an excuse why it’s better to just let it burn off than doing anything else.  It’s the txdot way.  (kvia.com)

THE EL PASO STREET CARS ARE ALMOST HERE!  LET’S SEE HOW THEY ARE MADE (CUE MR. ROGERS AND HIS MAGIC TROLLEY WITH MAGICAL VIDEOS) – In one of the more interesting videos that the City of El Paso propaganda wing has created, they give a behind the scenes look at how the El Paso Street Cars will be restored.  So far, the trolley cars are looking very cool and will be a slick addition to downtown.  Kudos, city government and City TV.  This is looking like it will be a successful project.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SUPPORT LOCAL SMALL BUSINESSES DAY! – On the heels of Black Friday, Small Business Saturday is upon us.  So once you get your big deals on Thanksgiving and Black Friday, make sure you have some cash left over to buy from local businesses on Saturday.  Although a fairly new concept, Small Business Saturday has been growing over the years and is an excellent opportunity to support the local economy.  I will personally be supporting local businesses this Saturday by going to Dreams Cabaret, Xcape, Red Parrot and Foxy’s.  I hope you will join me.  Support local businesses!  Whoooooo!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THOUGH BROKEN, THE DAESH CUNTS OF THE ISLAMIC STATE CAN STILL INFLUENCE RANDOM TERRORISTS TO ATTACK.  THIS TIME THE DEADLY ATTACK CAME IN EGYPT – The Sinai area of Egypt has been a hot spot of activity for years as local terrorist groups have been emboldened by the instability in the country and surrounding region.  Egypt just suffered its deadliest terrorist attack ever when a Sinai area terrorist group, believed to be aligned with ISIS, attacked a mosque in the town of Bir al-Abed, killing more than 230 people.  With all the conflicts around the Middle East, it’s surprising that this hasn’t turned into a Muslim World War with different factions and countries all going at it for control and power in the region.  (bbc.com)

TO THE DELIGHT OF ZIMBABWE, AND THE WORLD, ROBERT MUGABE HAS GONE OUT WITH A WIMPER AND ACCEPTED HIS FATE AS FAILED DICTATOR ON THE VERGE OF A “DEADLY ACCIDENT” – Zimbabwe has a new president and Robert Mugabe will now ride off into the sunset straight to the fiery pits of hell.  So now the world waits to see if the new president, Emmerson Mnangagwa, will lead Zimbabwe to a new prosperous era or if he will just bring the same old corruption and incompetence to presidency.  On the bright side, Mugabe saw the writing on the wall and stepped down with minimal bloodshed.  So Zimbabwe is off to a pretty good start, all things considered.  (bbc.com)

BONUS THANKSGIVING POOP TRIVIA! – Hats off to Discover Magazine for showcasing fantastic turkey feces facts on Thanksgiving.  Did you know that boy turkeys make long, strung out poops (which like most all birds also contain urine in solid form) and that girl turkeys make clumpy poops.  And the reason for this difference?  Turkey schlongs interfering with the pooping process.  Now you know.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

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