Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/17/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

DOWNTOWN EL PASO IS GETTING A NEW 26-STORY BUILDING!  THAT IS UNTIL THE PLANS KEEP ON CHANGING AND IT BECOMES A MINI-MALL WITH BOTH A DOLLAR GENERAL AND A FAMILY DOLLAR – The Meyers Group and Il Sabes have won the right to work with the City of El Paso to build a high rise tower on the vacant parking lot in front of city hall. The mixed-use building will include retail, apartments, a hotel and tons of parking.  Four other groups responded to the city’s request for a public-private plan for the empty lot in front of city hall at Mills and Campbell and Meyer’s Group apparently had the best plan.  Though Meyer’s Group has a mixed history when it comes to initial promises and actual results in their El Paso plans, this project looks like it will be a great benefit to the city and the surrounding Paso del Norte region.  The design for the building looks pretty cool, but I’m still curious to see what the other 4 plans looked like.  Maybe one of the other plans was a design for the world’s biggest Dollar General that’s open 24 hours a day!  Imagine all the Duranguito-style history and tourism we could attract with the world’s biggest Dollar General.  (elpasoinc.com)

THANKSGIVING IS UPON US WHICH MEANS IT’S TIME FOR THE ANNUAL SUN BOWL THANKSGIVING PARADE ON MONTANA AND THE DAY BEFORE THANKSGIVING DRINKATHON THAT OCCURS IN EVERY BAR THROUGHOUT EL PASO.  ENJOY! – The FirstLight Federal Credit Union Sun Bowl Parade, or the Thanksgiving Parade on Montana as it is known by everybody, will take place next Thursday and is one of the more endearing of El Paso’s holiday traditions.  But before you enjoy the parade, make sure you read the great article from the El Paso Herald Post that highlights all the volunteers that help to make the parade an yearly success.  We salute you, volunteers.  And don’t forget to hit up all the bars in the city for El Paso’s other Thanksgiving tradition, the “Day Before” Parties – one of the city’s top days for booze consumption and general debauchery.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

LET’S ARREST MORE PEOPLE AND GET EVEN MORE FEDERAL PRISONERS IN THE EL PASO COUNTY JAIL.  WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG? – Incompetent El Paso County detention officers, Matthew Garrett McBain and Dorian Lautret, were arrested and charged with tampering with records after inmate Roberto Gallegos died in the Far East El Paso County Jail Annex.  An investigation revealed that even though the idiots should have checked in on the inmate on a regular interval for health reasons.  According to a review after the death, it showed that they lied on the checkup logs and only checked a few times during the night according to the surveillance evidence.  This has resulted in the county jail failing it’s compliance obligations and embarrassing the community once again.  Naturally, Sheriff Richard Wiles will just shrug his shoulders and make up random excuses that don’t make sense while the county government gives his department more money and lets him make even more horrible deals with the federal government regarding federal prisoners.  The El Paso County government isn’t particularly competent.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD.  THE WICKED WITCH OF ZIMBABWE IS DEAD … OR AT LEAST HE IS ALMOST OUT OF OFFICE – Zimbabwe is in the midst of a “not a coup” coup as the military has stepped in to maintain the peace in the country.  Normally people would be weary of a coup, but Zimbabwe’s Robert Mugabe is such a massive pile of shit that no one cares if the cunt is kicked out of office and/or murdered.  Mugabe has turned Zimbabwe into an economic wasteland over the years due to his stupid policies, but it appears the straw that broke the camel’s back was his shameless attempt to put his idiot wife as the next in line to lead the country.  Once he fired vice president Emmerson Mnangagwa last week, the writing was on the wall for Dictator Mugabe and it seemed his days were numbered.  Since then the military, the opposition and his own party made their move against him and started planning for the future.  Hopefully Mugabe steps down peacefully because the last thing Zimbabwe needs is a civil war.  The guys in line to take over the government aren’t exactly shining beacons of truth and freedom, but anything is better than fucking Mugabe.  (bbc.com)

FOR THAT ABSURD AMOUNT OF MONEY, THEY COULD HAVE BOUGHT MILLIONS OF PAINTINGS OF DOGS PLAYING POKER.  HELL, FOR $450 MILLION THEY COULD HAVE JUST GENETICALLY ENGINEERED DOGS THAT KNOW HOW TO PLAY POKER – Because rich people are crazy and like to throw their money around, some random billionaire paid a record $450 million for a Leonardo da Vinci painting of Jesus dressed up in Renaissance clothing.  To put this in perspective, this is the equivalent of someone in modern day Jacksonville painting Jesus in a cowboy hat and wearing a Limp Bizkit T-Shirt.  The vast majority of the money was paid not because of the artistic value of the piece but because it is attributed to da Vinci.  If this painting would have been painted by a random Italian art student back in the 16th century, there is no way in fuck that it would have gotten $450 million in auction.  So once more the use of art as an investment, and possible money laundering vehicle, by the ultra wealthy has destroyed the concept of art just a little bit more.  (bbc.com)

IN SHOCKING NEWS, IT TURNS OUT THAT ALL THE MAJOR INTERNET COMPANIES ARE HORRIBLE BUSINESSES THAT DON’T REALLY CARE ABOUT YOUR PERSONAL SAFETY.  BUT AT LEAST THEY CATER TO STALKERS, SO THAT’S NICE OF THEM – Not since scientists discovered that water is wet, have I been as surprised as I am now.  It turns out that internet companies make minimal effort to regulate the free flow of personal data used by their ultra invasive advertising programs that are the main source of their revenue.  Researchers at the University of Washington purchased ads on popular sites and used the mobile advertising ID (MAID) with tracking tools available to advertisers to cyber-stalk subjects to the point where they knew where and when they were going on a daily basis.  For as low as $1,000 YOU too can take advantage of the internet’s ultra sketchy advertising system used by marketers, large corporations and internet giants to track any individual.  It’s a stalker’s paradise!  The monetizing of personal data is an inevitable result of the rise of advertising as the main source of income for most internet companies and there is no putting that genie back in the bottle.  But maybe these multi-billion dollar companies can do a little bit more to secure the personal data of the fucking lemmings that are making them a shitload of money.  It’s not like they don’t have the cash to do that.  Fuck Facebook, Fuck Google, Fuck Twitter, Fuck Amazon and Fuck All The Rest Of The Techwhores!  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

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