Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/10/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE NEW BORDER WEST EXPRESSWAY PROJECT IN WEST EL PASO IS SCHRODINGER’S FREEWAY:  IT EXISTS AS BOTH AN UNDER AND OVER BUDGET PROJECT AT THE SAME TIME! – Say what you will about State Representative Joe Pickett, but he sticks by his guns.  Joe Pickett hates toll roads and will fight any toll road that gets in his way.  The latest target of his “toll road rage” is the Border West Expressway that is now over budget and behind schedule.  As is the case with all the horribly managed txdot projects, district engineer Bob Bielek came out to spin everything around and make it seem like 12 months is only a minor delay and that although the project is over the original budget, it is actually within the contingency budget and thus under budget.  This is nothing new, Bob Bielek will always make up random nonsense to cover for txdot and to make himself out as the victim.  Remember when he wanted to tear down the Lincoln Center near the Spaghetti Bowl and said he had to do it because the building had molested him as a child and was a threat to all the area children.  Classic Bielek, making himself the victim and spewing nonsense to protect his txdot masters.  Let’s see if they can build the thing without any more delays or overages.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST IN PEACE, MAJESTIC JUAREZ GREYHOUND RACETRACK – It’s finally happened, the government in Juarez has decided to tear down the old greyhound racetrack and build a (pffft) well-planned technology district that will create jobs and training in the city with a focus on high technology.  While jobs, training and economic benefits are nice – what about gambling?  Precious gambling never hurt anyone and now the government of Juarez has intelligently decided to invest in jobs, education and technology with a well-planned joint venture with the private sector.  For shame, Juarez planners who are thinking about the future.  So now the racetrack will go up to heaven where the angels will bet money on greyhound puppies.  Rest in Peace, Juarez Greyhound Track.  (elpasoinc.com)

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE PRESENT TO YOU THE ELITE OF EL PASO’S LEGAL COMMUNITY.  GOD HELP US ALL – Judges are supposed to be the crème de la crème of the legal profession who are highly knowledgeable, exercise impeccable judgment and show excellent decision making skills.  In El Paso County you just have to be power hungry and slightly delusional to be a judge.  It was a banner week for El Paso judges as not one, but two judges, managed to draw attention to themselves in amazingly stupid ways.  First up, Judge Luis Aguilar of the 243rd District Court was publicly reprimanded by the State Commission on Judicial Conduct for, in essence, being a complete, fucking asshole to everyone in his court.  The commission received multiple complaints on him and they finally had to act concerning the “power trip” attitude he was showing lawyers and prospective jurors in court.  Not to be outdone, Judge Bonnie Rangel of the 171st District Court had a promotional Judge Judy-like video of hers leaked onto the internet.  The video was made a few years back, according to the judge, and it was to serve as a pilot for a show she was pitching in the hopes of making a ton of cash and retiring.  As you can expect, the video is pretty weird and involves the judge talking about vaginas, watermelons and birth control for pre-teens within the framework of a life changing car accident.  But at least Judge Rangel isn’t an asshole.  Its way better when judges make watermelon vagina comments on derivative TV show pilots instead of being totalitarian pricks in the court room.  (kvia.com / elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PROXY WAR IN YEMEN HAS WORKED OUT SO WELL THAT NOW SAUDI ARABIA WANTS TO START A NEW PROXY WAR WITH IRAN IN LEBANON – Things seem to be heating up in Lebanon as the rhetoric in the Middle East rises to include a possible conflict in that country.  Political forces in Lebanon are starting to get antsy in the wake of Prime Minister Saad Hariri resigning and leaving the country for the “safety” of Riyadh Saudi Arabia.  While the official story is that the prime minister left because he feared for his life after an assassination threat, the rumor inside Lebanon is that he was detained by the Saudis as part of a power play against Iran.  Whatever the result, let’s just hope this doesn’t end up as bad as Yemen.  Yemen is the best evidence that no one wins when Iran and Saudi Arabia get in a dick measuring contest.  (bbc.com)

MUCH LIKE THE PANAMA PAPERS AND EVERY OTHER LEAK BEFORE IT, THE NEW PARADISE PAPERS LEAK PROVES THAT RICH PEOPLE ARE THIEVING BASTARDS THAT WILL NEVER BE PUNISHED – Although most of the tax loopholes used by the people implicated in the Paradise Papers leak are completely legal, it doesn’t take away from the fact that these borderline tax evasion moves are amazingly skeevy.  Many rich and powerful people and organizations around the world have been implicated by the Paradise Papers leak and at the end of the day there will be a lot of finger wagging and not much else.  The rich get richer and the rest of us will always get fucked.  (bbc.com)

BECAUSE ONLINE NAMING CONTESTS HAVE NEVER RESULTED IN STUPID OUTCOMES, NASA WANTS PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET TO HELP NAME A NEW CELESTIAL ORB – The New Horizons probe is on its way to (486958) 2014 MU69, an icy celestial orb-thing that is beyond Pluto.  Because that name is pretty lifeless, NASA is holding a contest to give the object a name before the killjoy scientists give it a stupid cliché name once the object is observed and cataloged.  This promises to end well, so go visit NASA and offer your suggestion for a name.  Or don’t, we all know the winning name is going to be something stupid like Beiberland or Planety McPlanetface.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

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