Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/04/2017


THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL IS UPON US!  TIME TO TAKE OUT YOUR FANCY MONOCLE TO WATCH FANCY CLASSIC FILMS AND YOUR FISHNET STOCKINGS TO WATCH THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW – The Plaza Classic Film Festival has already started and continues through next weekend.  This year the festival features some great classic movies, tons of local films, cult classics and honored guests including Don Bluth, Kathleen Turner and Richard Dreyfuss.  So get some time off from work and try to enjoy as much of the Plaza Classic Film Festival as you can.  I recommend the Don Bluth retrospective, Jaws, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, The Secret of NIMH, any of the silent films and Snow White.  (

INCOMPETENT AUSTIN JUDGE CALLS IN SICK ON THE DAY SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE AN IMPORTANT DECISION THAT’S COSTING EL PASO TAXPAYERS MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN DELAYS.  A DECISION SHE HAD MORE THAN A WEEK TO PREPARE.  EVEN A FRY COOK AT MCDONALDS WOULD HAVE THE DECENCY NOT TO CALL IN SICK THE DAY THEY’RE UPGRADING THE FRYER – Judge Amy Clark Meachum is way in over her head and even she has acknowledged that she probably has no authority to settle the downtown multipurpose arena dispute and that she was just dragged into a political battle.  But still, you think she would at least stay true to her word and at least release a statement about how the City can proceed with whatever they want to do because a random judge in Austin has no fucking authority to determine where and what is the definition of an “El Paso arena”.  So now we must wait for a written decision on Monday to determine if “sports” can be played in a “multi-purpose” arena that will inevitably be appealed because the judge has no real authority to determine any of this.  And Max Grossman lives to grandstand another day.  He won’t be happy until they build a statue of him with poor Mexican peasants bowing at his feet.  At this point, I would applaud the City of El Paso if they just tore down all the dilapidated buildings in Union Plaza and built a giant parking lot.  (

PICKS UP FOR ALL THE UTEP MINERS PAST AND PRESENT IN THE WORLD TRACK AND FIELD CHAMPIONSHIPS – Good luck to all the current and past UTEP Miners who will be representing their respective countries at this weekend’s World Track and Field Championships in London.  Five athletes with UTEP connections will be at the meet, including Emmanuel Korir, Tobi Amusan, Greta Kerekes, Blessing Okagbare and Churandy Martina.  Good luck, Miners!  (


FUTBALL CLUB THAT OUTSPENDS COMPETITION BY MILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN ORDER TO GET UPPER HAND GETS BUTT-HURT WHEN IT GETS A TASTE OF ITS OWN MEDICINE AND GOES UP AGAINST A CLUB WITH EVEN MORE MONEY.  STOP WHINING, BARCELONA, NOBODY CARES – Brazilian futball star Neymar is set to move from Barcelona to Paris St. Germain for a world record fee, but not without a hissy fit tantrum from Barcelona.  Neymar is set to pay over $200 million for his buyout clause to leave Barcelona and this is all just a formality, but Barcelona will drag this out via “FIFA financial fair play” and try to get some concessions out of the deal.  Nobody really gives a rat’s ass about Barcelona’s complaints because the fucking team wipes its ass with “financial play” year after year when it outspends the vast majority of La Liga by millions and millions of dollars.  It must really suck getting a taste of your own medicine, Barcelona.  Maybe if they stopped fellating Messi after every fucking game (even the ones that were won because of Neymar!), Barcelona wouldn’t be losing one of their key players.  (

IT’S HOT AND SMOKY IN THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST.  I MEAN REALLY HOT AND REALLY SMOKY.  HOT AND SMOKY LIKE THE PITS OF HELL, NOT REGULAR HOT AND SMOKY – An odd weather pattern has led to record temperatures in the Pacific Northwest, with places like Portland recording record temperatures above 100 degrees Fahrenheit.  In addition, fires in the region have created a large amount of smoke leading to the perfect storm of horrible conditions for any living organism that has lungs.  Meanwhile in El Paso, the temps were below 90, the sky was blue and the late afternoon had a few pleasant showers that cooled us down at night – yet someone will still find a reason to bitch and complain about El Paso.  But don’t worry about Cascadia, the smoke and heat didn’t destroy their craft beer so it will go back to being cloudy, rainy, temperate, chilled, relaxed and awesome very soon.  (

SOMETIMES RICH PEOPLE ACTUALLY GET PUNISHED WHEN THEY DO HORRIBLE THINGS.  LIFE IS FULL OF SURPRISES – Martin Shkreli is one of the biggest cunts in the universe who is best known for skeevy financial practices and raising the price on cheap drugs to astronomical rates once his company took over full control of the drug.  He made money off of desperate, suffering people and for that he will burn in hell.  In the meantime he has been found guilty of securities fraud and will at least get some form of punishment for being a scumbag criminal.  Sure, he was acquitted of a few of the major charges against him but at least he was found guilty of something.  Like most Wall Street cunts, he will not learn a damn thing from this and will continue making money by exploiting others.  Who knows, he might be president someday.  But hopefully Lucifer calls him up before that happens.  (


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