Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/08/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL IS CELEBRATING ITS 10TH ANNIVERSARY AND HAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT RICHARD DREYFUS WILL BE ONE OF THE DISTINGUISHED GUESTS.  SADLY, THE SEVERELY UNDERRATED MOON OVER PARADOR WILL NOT BE SHOWN AT THE FESTIVAL – The Plaza Classic Film Festival will kick off in a few weeks and, even though the full schedule has been announced, it has received a lot less fanfare than years past.  That should all change now that Academy Award-winning actor Richard Dreyfuss has been selected as one of the official guests of the festival.  Even without him, the festival has a good lineup going with other great guests like Kathleen Turner and animators Don Bluth and Gary Goldman, who will be taking part in a retrospective of their animation work that will be showcased at the festival.  So be sure to check the festival out next month and catch a few flicks and hear some of the amazing guests talk about their films and careers.  This is definitely one of the better lineups they’ve presented over the past decade and should not be missed.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

BREAKING NEWS!  CHICO’S TACOS CHANGES THE CHEESE THEY USE ON THEIR FLAUTAS!  THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US! – Chico’s Tacos recently changed their cheese and this has become headline news on multiple LEGITIMATE news sites and led to an avalanche of bitching and complaining on the internet.  Never change, El Paso.  Chico’s Tacos is an icon in the city, so any change to their signature dish will result in publicity but some of the responses found online are a bit humorous and over the top.  It’s gotten so much press that Chico’s issued a statement that explained that the original cheese used was being discontinued and no longer carried by the distributor.  According to the restaurant, the new cheddar cheese is similar to the original cheese used in the ‘50s and ‘60s and thus more authentic.  For what it’s worth, I like the new cheese better because now the “cheese” actually tastes like cheese and not some hard Velveeta hybrid.  Regardless, Chico’s Tacos still kicks ass and is the perfect end to a night of hanging out with friends.  (cbs4local.com)

MONTANA VISTA FINALLY GETS A PUBLIC POOL AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO INCORPORATE AS AN ACTUAL TOWN  – A water main break in Montana Vista resulted in a large pond forming near Montana and shutting down part of the road for hours.  All things considered, El Paso Water Utilities reacted pretty fast to the situation and had things restored rather quickly – by Montana Vista standards.  The culprit for the break was a private contractor working in the area that probably didn’t even bother to check for utilities like most of the work done in unincorporated areas.  This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone familiar with the unincorporated areas of the region.  It’s amazing that more disasters don’t occur in Montana Vista or Chaparral considering all the borderline illegal construction activity that occurs at any given moment.  Maybe incorporating and embracing “modern life” isn’t such a bad idea.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IRAQI FORCES HAVE “OFFICIALLY” TAKEN MOSUL AND HAVE DECLARED VICTORY OVER ISIS IN IRAQ.  WE SHOULD BE CAUTIOUS THOUGH, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME SOMEONE PROCLAIMED “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” IN IRAQ – Iraqi forces are celebrating as they have full control of Mosul and have, for the most part, defeated the daesh cunts of isis in Iraq.  Sometimes these victories are short lived and Iraqi forces would be wise not to let their guard down and to keep on fighting extremism in their country.  So best case scenario, this unites all Iraqi forces and they work to a more stable region with possible increased autonomy for different cultural areas.  This being Iraq, however, this positive feeling will last for 15 minutes and then they’ll all return to sectarian violence under the illusion of trying to maintain a “united Iraq”.  Let’s try to get this right, Iraq.  (independent.co.uk)

IT TURNS OUT THERE WERE MULTIPLE MASSIVE VOLCANOES IN THE 15TH CENTURY THAT CAUSED HEAVY LOSS OF LIFE AND MAJOR CLIMATE ANOMALIES ALL AROUND THE WORLD.  IT TURNS OUT THE EARTH REALLY IS TRYING TO KILL US AND IS JUST GATHERING STRENGTH – Scientists are still trying to determine which volcanic eruption led to the climate anomalies around 1465 which resulted in famines all around the world.  Originally, the volcanic eruption at Kuwae was thought to be the source of all the ash found in the geologic layer attributed to this climate event but new research shows that Kuwae was not as large as suggested and happened to occur a few years off from the date of the event.  So now we have either a “lost volcano”, or meteor-strike, that caused the events of 1465 to go along with the large explosion at Kuwae, which was not as big as thought but still caused a lot of damage and changes around the world.  Science is interesting and very, very scary.  (bbc.com)

DONALD TRUMP TAKES HIS “STUPIDITY TOUR” TO GERMANY AND THE G20 SUMMIT WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS – The G20 Summit is a gathering of leaders of the 20 major economies in the world where they to pay lip service regarding major problems by spending days on joint statements that don’t really do anything.  This year was no different, but it featured the comedy antics of Donald Trump to keep everyone entertained.  Among the highlights were Donald Trump pretending like he’d never met Vladimir Putin before, America coming off as a banana republic when Donald Trump inserted his unqualified daughter as his replacement at one of the meetings and America being isolated 19 to 1 on matters of climate change.  It was like if Mr. Bean or Inspector Clouseau was confused as the leader of a major country and invited to the big boy’s table by accident.  This must be extremely hilarious to an outsider living outside of America, but it’s not so funny when you are living in the middle of the idiot republic that Donald Trump is creating.  (bbc.com)

 

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