Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 06/02/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER GENERATIONS, HUECO TANKS STILL KEEPS ON REVEALING NEW AND EXCITING DISCOVERIES – Hueco Tanks is one of the area’s most prized treasures that offers an amazing outdoor recreational experience complete with thousands of years of cultural history reflected in the rock paintings throughout the geologic formation.  A survey last March used advanced imaging technology to try and find any previously lost pictographs and succeeded in finding “new” pictographs in 29 sites throughout the park.  The bad news is that those areas will now be closed off for recreational activities, but the good news is that Hueco Tanks now has more archaeological treasures that we can all admire and learn from.  If you ever want to get away for a quick day trip, Hueco Tanks is the place to go.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

MAYBE TECHNOLOGY CAN FINALLY LOWER CROSSING TIMES AT THE BRIDGES LEADING TO EL PASO.  LORD KNOWS GIVING MORE MONEY TO THE BABY HUEY POSSE “PROTECTING” THE BORDER DIDN’T REALLY CHANGE ANYTHING – In another valiant attempt to try and reduce wait times at the international border, the City of El Paso has teamed up with Metropia to create the PDNUno.com website that promises to give instant data on the wait times at all the bridges that connect El Paso and Juarez.  Although many websites and methods have been used in the past to try and monitor bridge wait times and release the info to the public, they weren’t always accurate or easy to use.  The PDNUno is very easy to use and the color scheme and layout makes it look like a playschool app that anybody with half a brain can use accurately.  In addition, the website gets its information from the Metropia app that sources data directly from commuters in real time – so this should be waaaaaaaay more accurate than the “official” times that the bridges themselves give out.  Trying to lower bridge wait times has been a decades long struggle for the City of El Paso and maybe technology and crowd sourcing will finally be the magic key to a more efficient border crossing process.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GOD BLESS THE EL PASO GAY COMMUNITY FOR MAKING CHICO THE CHIHUAHUA THE GRAND MARSHALL FOR THE SUN CITY PRIDE PARADE.  IF YOU ASK ME, CHICO THE CHIHUAHUA SHOULD BE THE GRAND MARSHAL FOR EVERY PARADE AND SHOULD ALSO BE THE MAYOR AND EL PASO’S REPRESENTATIVE TO CONGRESS – The El Paso Sun City Pride festivities are in their 10th year and the events have grown a substantial amount over the years.  These are great events that offer support for the gay community and act as a showcase for the community as a whole to get to know the gay community in El Paso.  In addition to the parades, there will be multiple events all across El Paso to celebrate the Sun City Pride Fest, so check these events out if you get the chance.  It should be noted that Texas State Senator Jose Rodriguez will also be part of the parade but Chico the Chihuahua was chosen as the Grand Marshal!  God Bless the El Paso gay community and their admiration for Chico.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WANT TO LIVE A LONG TIME?  STOP EATING FOOD! – One of the more interesting things to come out of recent research into ageing is that if the amount of food consumed is lowered then the test subject lives a longer life.  Not only that, but the years added are “healthy time” that are mostly free of disease.  This doesn’t mean that you should go off and starve yourself, but a simple 30% reduction in calories consumed can lead to a longer and healthier life if these studies turn out to be transferable to the real world.  So don’t eat that much if you want to live a long and healthy life, but ask your doctor first or you might accidentally starve yourself to death.  (bbc.com)

“COWBOY” BOUNTY HUNTERS WERE A STUPID AND DANGEROUS IDEA BACK IN THE 19TH CENTURY, SO IT BOGGLES THE MIND THAT THEY ARE STILL AROUND IN TODAY’S DAY AND AGE – Three people died in a shootout this week in a suburb of Dallas as two bounty hunters tried to “take down” a suspect in a crowded car dealership.  The three people that died were the two bounty hunters and the criminal suspect, but this could have easily ended with civilian deaths – especially when you have idiots that see men with guns and then run up to them to record it with their cells.  You’d think the bounty hunters would have had the common sense to avoid “capturing” someone in a public place surrounded by innocent people.  It should be noted that if this would have happened in El Paso, racist Texas Republicans would have already been bitching about border violence, cartels and national security.  Hell, Greg Abbott would have flipped his wheelchair over trying to get to his computer to fellate Donald Trump via Twitter before Ted Cruz and beg the fascist leader of America for a border wall to stop this big, bad border violence.  But since this happened in a Dallas suburb, Texas Republicans and others were eerily quiet on all this and wrote it off as a freak accident.  Maybe Rick Perry will use his magic geography powers and say it happened near the Mexico border.  (kfoxtv.com)

THE IDIOT DONALD TRUMP HAS TURNED AMERICA INTO THAT ALIEN OCTOPUS CORPSE AT THE END OF WATCHMEN THAT UNITES THE WORLD AND LEADS TO WORLD PEACE.  MAYBE THAT’S HIS PLAN, TO BRING WORLD PEACE BY UNITING THE ENTIRE WORLD IN THEIR COMMON DISDAIN FOR AMERICA – In his continued attempt to make the worst possible decisions imaginable, Donald Trump has started the process to withdraw the U.S. from the Paris Climate Accord and will join Nicaragua and Syria as the only other countries who think that global warming is a hoax and that the rest of the world is wrong.  Even fucking North Korea is part of the Paris Climate Agreement!  Donald Trump made up some bullshit economic reasons for his stupid decision, but this will not have any significant positive impact on the economy as a whole and will just make his high ranking buddies in the energy sector more money at the expense of the environment and the common man.  And if people were hoping that this would destabilize the agreement, the world has actually united in supporting this cause and will now work closer together if only just to spite the idiot in the White House.  So now oil and natural gas prices will go down even further as a result of less regulation and over production which will result in more losses as the rest of the world embraces renewable energy and cuts its demand for fossil fuels.  It’s like Donald Trump read about the collapse of America’s Whaling industry in the 19th century and didn’t learn a damned thing.  He didn’t actually read anything, he just looked at the pictures of the whales and the boats.  Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (bbc.com)

 

 

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