Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 04/16/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ONE OF THE COOLEST EASTER TRADITIONS IN THE PASO DEL NORTE REGION IS THE TREK UP MOUNT CRISTO REY.  JUST DON’T FALL OFF THE MOUNTAIN – The annual Mt. Cristo Rey Easter weekend pilgrimage hike went off without a hitch, sort of, this year and this is one of the safer and best ways to enjoy this hike if you ever plan on going up the mountain to see the 29 foot Jesus statue at the top.  Thousands of people enjoyed the hike this year and, besides the person that fell off the mountain, a good time was had by all.  Kudos to the Mt. Cristo Rey Restoration Committee for taking care of the mountain and keeping it as clean and safe as possible – thus making all these pilgrimage hikes possible.  (kvia.com)

IT’S LIKE A LIVE ACTION EPISODE OF BOB’S BURGERS! – In cool, local, uplifting news with a high tech spin; a young girl who is recovering from cancer can finally return to class “virtually” via the help of a robot!  Jackie Rosales has missed most of the current school year due to medical reasons, but thanks to a remote controlled robot with two way cameras and mics she can now go to class with her friends and interact with people at school.  The robot was provided by Socorro ISD and is helping Jackie re-enter the fold at her John Drugan fourth grade class.  Here’s a clip of a recent episode of Bob’s Burgers where Tina misses school and goes back with the help of a robot in case you need a better and amusing visual aid of how all this works.  This story is uplifting and very fascinating.  (cbs4local.com)

TURNS OUT THE EL PASO FIRE DEPARTMENT IS PRETTY DAMN GOOD – There might be some issues with “funding requested” and “funding available” when it comes to the local fire department, but their performance is pretty good despite everything else.  The El Paso Fire Department is one of only 4 large fire departments in the country that has a Class 1 ISO Public Protection Classification and international accreditation.  Not only does this mean that the city has very good response times and has a better rate of fire fighting than other cities, it also is an important factor in luring companies and businesses to the city thanks to lower insurance rates.  Kudos, El Paso Fire Department, for keeping us safe from all burning things except for the giant one over our head that gives us 100+ degree Fahrenheit temperatures in the summer.  Though there is very little that can be done to fight the giant burning thing in the sky.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF YOU GIVE THE MASSES FULL DEMOCRATIC POWER, AND ELIMINATE ALL DISSENTING VOICES, YOU’LL EVENTUALLY GET THE MASSES TO VOTE FOR THE ELIMINATION OF DEMOCRACY AND THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A DICTATORSHIP.  THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT PEOPLE ARE MORONS AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO VOTE – Erdogan has gotten his wish and is now one step from becoming dictator of Turkey ……. for life.  For someone that constantly bitches about Hitler and accuses others of being Nazis, he sure does love using Hitler’s tactics.  This weekend’s election had 51.37% of the vote going toward a ‘yes’ vote that would turn Turkey from a rational parliamentary government to a strong man president form of government.  Although there are discrepancies galore and the ‘no’ campaign was unfairly hindered throughout the process, the results will most likely stand and Turkey will move closer in the direction of “totalitarian cesspool”.  So in a few decades Turkey has gone from being on the verge of entering the European Union to becoming central Asia’s answer to Venezuela.  You got to feel bad for the moderate and intelligent people in Turkey, the country has been hijacked by the idiot masses and there is very little they can do.  (bbc.com)

SO THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN TWO MORONS HAVE ACCESS TO NUCLEAR WEAPONS AND GET INTO A DICK MEASURING CONTEST.  SO SAD – Because nothing else is working in his administration, Donald Trump has decided to just bomb and verbally attack other nations in order to make himself look ‘presidential’.  Keep in mind that one of his core campaign messages was to stop American intervention in other countries and to stop being the world’s policeman – so let’s add that to all the other excrement that has come out of Trump’s mouth that never came to pass.  The latest country to feel Trump’s ‘wrath’ is North Korea, who just happens to have nuclear weapons and is close enough to Seoul to bomb the hell out of it if they were ever attacked.  So now we have the SAD situation of two morons engaging in a dick measuring contest to make themselves look cool in front of their home populations.  But North Korea is far enough away that no one in Trump’s family would get hurt in a retaliatory attack, so in Trump’s mind it’s okay if millions die as long as his business and family are still standing.  It’s also worth noting that China has stepped into its role of “pre-eminent world power to be” by being the rational intermediary in this whole conflict.  That’s right, CHINA is being the cautious and rational one in this international conflict.  America’s crown is in the mail, China.  (bbc.com)

THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS HAS OPENED TO RECORD SHATTERING RESULTS AND NOW WE WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT THAT WILL HOPEFULLY FEATURE A SUBMARINE JUMPING A SKYSCRAPER ……. OR POSSIBLY ALIENS.  NOTHING IS TOO OVER THE TOP FOR THIS FRANCHISE – The Fate Of The Furious now has the record for biggest worldwide debut of all time after it brought in $532.5 million in the global box office and beat the previous record held by Star Wars:  The Force Awakens.  Although the domestic box office was down from the last movie, international more than made up for it thanks to China’s $190 million opening weekend.  China’s opening is impressive because it was almost double America’s $100 million opening and it ranks in the top five of all-time domestic weekend openings (including North America) just behind Avengers:  Age of Ultron and its $191.2 million opening weekend in North America (though the China opening can jump that movie if it gets $1 million+ extra in the final box office count).  Once upon a time, the North American box office was untouchable and was always the market that produced the most revenue.  But in the past few years the Chinese market has grown exponentially and now we are starting to see an increased number of films make more money in China than they do in North America – which is something that would have been unheard of only a decade ago!  This is just another example of China’s rise as a global power and its eventual overtaking of the United States as the world’s top power.  And how does America react to this strange new transition period?  Well, they went ahead and voted the most inexperienced idiot they could find as president and seem to be planning to speed up this process as fast as they can.  But I digress.  Congratulations to everyone involved on The Fate Of The Furious for their impressive accomplishment.  (deadline.com)

 

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