Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – October 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

NICE BAIT AND SWITCH, EL PASO CHILDREN’S MUSEUM.  WHERE’S MY JETSON’S BUILDING WITH THE AIRPLANE ON THE ROOF? – The El Paso Children’s Museum had its groundbreaking ceremony this month and the building is on track to be completed by 2022.  The architects at Snohetta did a great job with the design, given the footprint and the issues with the nearby railroad track pit of doom.  I’m still disappointed that they didn’t go with the original futuristic Jetson-like design, but it looks like the kids will like it and that’s what matters for a children’s museum.  Now if Max Grossman and his butt buddy in Houston can just shove their heads up each other’s asses, we can finally get started with the downtown arena.  (kvia.com)

HAPPY 100TH BIRTHDAY, SCENIC DRIVE!  IF IT WASN’T FOR THE DAMN PANDEMIC, MANY EL PASOANS WOULD BE CELEBRATING THIS WONDERFUL OCCASION BY DRIVING UP, GETTING DRUNK, DOING DRUGS AND HAVING SEX – Scenic Drive celebrated it’s centennial this month and the City of El Paso marked the occasion with a special Scenic Sunday that included a sunrise watch on the observation area at the top of the road.  For those that don’t know, Scenic Sundays is a weekly event where they close down Scenic Drive to vehicle traffic and allow people to walk and ride their bicycles on the road every Sunday morning.  So, if you’ve never done Scenic Sundays, now you know and have something new to do on Sundays.  To think that this wonderful road started it’s life a hundred years ago when El Paso powerbrokers of the early 20th century wanted a secluded place they could drive up to and have sex with their mistresses who were impressed by the view.  100 years later, the original purpose still thrives.  Here’s to 100 more years of our beloved Scenic Drive!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

NMSU HAS A WINE NOW!  WHAT BETTER WAY TO NOT DRAW ATTENTION TO A DRUNK LOOKING MASCOT THAN BY NAMING A WINE AFTER HIM – Southern New Mexico, New Mexico State University and the surrounding region have a long history with vineyards and wine-making.  In honor of this connection, the university has partnered with Lescombes Winery to create a Cabernet Sauvignon known as Pistol Pete’s Crimson Legacy.  The wine is available at all Lescombes locations and other sites around the state – with hopefully wider distribution in the future.  The first batch of Crimson Legacy had 1,888 bottles in honor of NMSU’s founding in 1888 and Pistol Pete has already drunken half of the batch along with his good friend from UTEP – Paydirt Pete.  So go get your bottle now before they’re all gone.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF A PANDEMIC WASN’T ENOUGH, NOW WE HAVE MORE EARTHQUAKES AND HURRICANES TO DEAL WITH.  MOTHER NATURE MIGHT BE A LITTLE PISSED AT HUMANITY – Natural disasters hit with a vengeance this month as not only did we have the usual hurricanes and typhoons lurking about, but we also had a major earthquake hit Turkey and Greece.  The 7.0 earthquake struck in the Aegean Sea between Turkey and Greece on October 30, with the worst hit area being Izmir in Turkey.  Multiple buildings are reported to have collapsed and the damage and casualties are projected to be quite high.  There are also multiple tropical storms churning in the Atlantic and Pacific, with record breaking Hurricane Zeta having made landfall in Louisiana this month.  There is still a month or so of hurricane-friendly conditions in the Atlantic, so we might be getting even more Greek-Alphabet storms in the coming weeks.  On the bright side, thanks to climate change more people will learn the Greek Alphabet.  (npr.org)

RIOTS TO THE LEFT OF ME, RIOTS TO THE RIGHT OF ME, RIOTS EVERYWHERE – Conditions are ripe for social upheaval throughout the world and we have protests and riots occurring in many countries.  Not since, perhaps, 1968 has the world seen such motivation to change society through people power – with varying results.  The biggest upheaval this past month occurred in Nigeria where nationwide protests and riots, sparked by government corruption and police brutality, crippled the country and brought fear to the powers that be.  The protests were so successful that the government conceded on many demands and dissolved some controversial police units.  Elsewhere, electoral protests continue to gain momentum in Belarus and Kyrgyzstan over unfair and possibly fixed voting results.  And (in what seems like a broken record scenario) another American city protested over a police killing that should have never occurred.  This time the protests and unrest rocked Philadelphia.  2020 has been a wild ride and we still have a few weeks left.  (bbc.com)

CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC UPDATE:  AS PREDICTED BY EVERYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN, THE SECOND WAVE IS HERE – Like clockwork, the cold weather has caused people to go indoors and thus increase the spread of COVID-19.  The predicted second wave of the pandemic has begun to hit most of the Northern Hemisphere and it seems the Paso Del Norte region is at the forefront of this second wave.  Hospitals continue to fill up and the specter of lockdowns rise as more and more people continue to get sick.  The spread of COVID-19 doesn’t seem like it will stop anytime soon and more cities and regions will soon start to feel the brunt of this viral storm.  But let’s ease restrictions and help muhkonamy.  Everyone knows that small businesses are the “lifeblood” of the economy.  Small businesses are in no way glorified hobbies that amount to the insects of the financial world – no, they are VERY important.  So let everyone die so that we can have MORE irreplaceable crossfit gyms, bars and restaurants.  As we all know, human life is secondary to places that sell Bud Light Lime and White Claws.  Have a safe winter, everyone.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GO VOTE! – The elections are coming up and we just want to remind everyone to go vote.  But only if you are voting for Joe Biden.  Donald Trump and his fascist backers can all go fuck themselves and take their racist rhetoric to /pol, twitter or a truck stop bathroom.  I think I speak for most of society when I say that Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt and all his supporters should stay home on election day and post their racist dog whistle bullshit on Facebook.  You make more of a difference by arguing with other stupid people on Facebook than voting, it’s a Biblical fact.  (simplemindedentertainment.com)

 

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