Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – July 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE EL PASO DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY’S WORST KEPT SECRET IS FINALLY OFFICIAL.  AMAZON IS BUILDING A BIG ASS BUILDING IN EL PASO – Amazon officially announced this month that they are building a large fulfillment warehouse on the eastern edge of the city.  The project is quite large and is going up on that large lot that is bordered by Rojas, Eastlake and I-10/Gateway West.  Construction crews can currently be seen in the area almost 24/7, so Amazon means business when they say they want it up and running by 2021.  So now El Pasoans will get the chance to work a warehouse job for slightly-above menial wages as Jeff Bezos becomes the world’s first meeleeon-beeleeonaire.  Hooray!  (kvia.com)

EVERYBODY KNOWS THE HOTTEST PART OF EL PASO IS BUTT TOWN (THE STRIPTASTICAL STRETCH OF GATEWAY WEST BETWEEN RED PARROT AND JAGUARS).  WE DON’T NEED A FANCY SCIENTIFIC STUDY TO KNOW THAT – The city of El Paso has announced that it is collaborating with multiple local and national organizations to create a heat map of El Paso.  The group will collect data this summer to determine where the highest temperatures are found throughout the city in order to understand where people are more at risk from dangerously high temperatures.  I think the recent heatwave has shown that 100% of El Paso is really, really fucking hot in the summer – study complete!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHITE SANDS MISSILE RANGE!  YOU’RE OUR FAVORITE MILITARY TESTING GROUND (AND OUR FAVORITE NON-SECRET NON-ALIEN TECHNOLOGY NON-RESEARCH CENTER WINK WINK) – White Sands base celebrated it’s 75th Anniversary this month and we salute it for the great economic and military impact it has had on the region in that time.  The military complex started as the White Sands Proving Ground on July 9, 1945 and has expanded substantially since then.  Happy Birthday!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL ISN’T GOING TO LET A PANDEMIC STOP THE MOVIES.  LIKE CLONED DINOSAURS, THEY FIND A WAY – Don’t forget to support the Plaza Classic Film Festival this summer.  They will keep the yearly fest going this year with drive-in movies and online screenings.  I’ll miss the experience of watching a classic movie in a wonderful theatre, but classic movies on drive-in screens isn’t too shabby.  As an added bonus, the movies will now be playing in different locations all around the city so you don’t have to travel far to watch some great films  That’s such a good idea that I hope they keep the traveling drive-in portion of the festival even after the pandemic is over.  (theprospectordaily.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PANDEMIC IS STILL GOING STRONG AND NOW WE  HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LONG TERM DAMAGE ASSOCIATED WITH THE VIRUS –  Despite some people trying to downplay the current situation for petty political reasons, the COVID-19 pandemic is still a very serious and dangerous issue for the world.  On top of the hospitalizations straining the system and the tragic deaths; we keep on getting word that for those that survive the virus there might be some long term ailments to look out for.  Recent studies and observations have found that the impact of the coronavirus includes memory loss, chronic fatigue, cognitive issues as well as organ damage.  It almost seems like the virus keeps on getting more powers the more we find out about it.  And yet some people still refuse to wear a face mask because it’s the devil or some other stupid reason of that nature.  (sciencemag.org)

LOOK EVERYBODY, DONALD TRUMP NOW HAS A SECRET POLICE THAT ABDUCTS PEOPLE FOR NO REASON.  BUT HE’S NOT A FASCIST, HE JUST DOES FASCIST THINGS BECAUSE HE LOVES AMERICA SO MUCH – Because the Justice Department is now just filled with sycophants that want to suck Donald Trump’s dick, federal agents are going around Portland and abducting people illegally on Donald Trump’s command.  The excuse is because Antifa is some sort of super terrorist group and they are “destroying” Portland.  But the real reason is because Donald Trump is a thin-skinned pussy and he just wants to act like a dictator to impress the racist morons who support him.  And now he’s even threatening to send his secret police to other cities.  So this is how freedom dies in America.  (npr.org)

REMEMBER WHEN TURKEY WAS THE MODEL OF PROGRESS IN THE MIDDLE EAST?  PRESIDENT ERDOGAN REALLY DID AN AMAZING JOB OF RUNNING HIS COUNTRY TO THE GROUND – In a largely political gesture to appease his idiot Islamist followers, Erdogan has converted the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul into a mosque after serving as a museum and a symbol of Turkey’s secular triumph in the 20th century.  The building is considered one of the most beautiful in the world and was originally built as a cathedral in 537 and eventually became a mosque in 1453 after the Fall Of Constantinople.  So now we wait until Erdogan gets more desperate as the economy and society continues to implode and he finally makes Turkey a full-blown Islamist country.  At that point it will become Iraq 2.0 and the world will just shrug its shoulders after the country explodes.  Good job, Erdogan.  (bbc.com)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JULYJohn Lewis was a key figure in the civil rights movement in the ‘60s and his subsequent work as a congressman had a profound impact on equal rights in this country.  He passed away at the age of 80 and his legacy is evident with the sheer number of memorials around the country.  Carl Reiner was one of the leading comedians of the ‘50s who worked as a writer, director and actor in the early days of television and who had a great influence on comedy in the decades to come.  He passed away this month at the age of 98.  Olivia De Havilland was the last living main cast member from Gone With The Wind, but her acting career went far beyond one movie.  She was regarded as a great beauty and an amazing talent and had a successful career in Hollywood before retiring to France.  She passed away this month a the age of 104.  Regis Philbin had a very long career in television, but to people my age he will always be remembered for his hosting duties on Live With Regis And Kathie Lee and for being Mr. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.  He passed away at the age of 89.  I remember Hugh Downs from his work on 20/20 and for appearing in practically every news special on TV when I was growing up.  He retired decades ago but his memory will live on for anyone who ever watched copious amounts of TV growing up in the ‘80s.  He passed away this month at the age of 99.  Rest in peace.  (apnews.com / deadline.com)