Month: May 2020

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 1

Sam Fender

“Hypersonic Missiles”

Hypersonic Missiles

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Hypersonic missiles can travel 5 times or more above the speed of sound and will make up the next generation of cruise missiles and intercontinental weapons. They will then be replaced by Superhyperultrasonic missiles.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Morissey-Rebirth Sexiness! Sam Fender continues the legacy of brooding and sensitive British rockers that reached its apex with Morissey. So if you like thoughtful alternative rock without crazy, right-wing, Morissey-esque rants – then Sam Fender is what you need.

And with that, we have come to the end of Simple Minded Entertainment’s Top 100 Songs Of 2019. A final reminder, don’t forget to support good music! Go buy these songs now (at the store or digitally) or stream them on a legit source so the musicians make money! See you next year, kids.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 2

Sturgill Simpson

“Make Art Not Friends”

Sound & Fury

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Although it is hard to choose between making art and having friends, we recommend a balanced approach where you make art and lightly socialize so you don’t become a friendless NEET.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Bad-Boy-Outlaw-Country Sexiness! Like a good Kentucky Bourbon, Sturgill Simpson just gets better as the years go by.

Support good music! Go buy this song now! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 3

Pond

“Daisy”

Tasmania

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Daisies are flowers from the Asteraceae family and can be found in temperate climates.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Over-Sexualized-Video-Game Sexiness! Princess Daisy is a character from the Super Mario Nintendo Universe that is believed to be Luigi’s girlfriend. Like with all family-friendly cartoons and video games, there are fans who like to take things too far and make erotically charged fan art of the characters. ‘Daisy Sexy’ gives us this cute picture of Princess Daisy. But don’t dig to far in the image search because some of the other sexy Daisy fan art is very, very NSFW.

Support good music! Go buy this song! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 4

Dermot Kennedy

“Lost”

Without Fear

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Lost was a TV show that had a solid first few seasons but had no idea where it was going and just made shit up for the last seasons. Overall, I recommend watching the first season and then deciding for yourself if you want to watch something that literally goes nowhere after a few more episodes. 8/10 Rating

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Random-Lost-Character Sexiness! ‘Lost Sexy’ on image search brings us to this Sexy Desmond collage right on the first row. Only Lost fans would make a sexy collage of a supporting character. Never change, Lost fans.

Support good music! Go buy this song now! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 5

Big Thief

“Not”

Two Hands

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Not” is not a reference to the stupid and outdated joke where someone says ‘NOT!’ after pausing a bit at the end of an absurd statement. But the song “Not” does reference modern alien conspiracy theories and Borat ……. NOT!

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Sean-Connery-Not-Giving-Any-Fucks Sexiness! ‘Not Sexy’ on image search gives us this epic photo of Sean Connery in practically naked battle gear from the hit film Zardoz. I don’t know about Google, but I think Sean Connery is beyond sexy in this photo. Fuck you, Google. Judgmental bastards.

Support good music! Go buy this song! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 6

Caroline Polachek

“So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings”

Pang

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

A temperature as low as 109.4 degrees Fahrenheit/44 degrees Celsius can burn and hurt skin. Feelings can be hurt at much lower temperatures.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Seductive-Knife-Play Sexiness! Here is a picture of Caroline Polachek looking sexy while licking a knife. Who knew that playing with dangerous weapons could be so sexy.

Support good music! Go buy this song! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 7

Sturgill Simpson

“Mercury In Retrograde”

Sound & Fury

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Mercury in retrograde refers to the optical illusion that makes it look like Mercury is going backwards in its orbit when viewed from Earth on certain occasions. I originally thought the song title was a Sailor Mercury reference and had to look it up.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Hot-Anime-Samurai Sexiness! Sturgill Simpson’s amazing Sound & Fury album is accompanied by an equally impressive anime treatment for the entire album available on streaming services. The protagonist is a cute samurai girl that kicks ass, you can’t go wrong with cute samurai girls that kick ass.

Support good music! Go buy this song now! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 8

Blackbear

“Hot Girl Bummer”

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Contrary to popular belief, blackbear is not an actual rapping bear. He’s just a regular rapping human.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Unrelated-To-Song-Title-Cute-Anime-Girl Sexiness! ‘Hot Girl Bummer’ on image search gives us this very well-done, anime-style picture by Cudlil on DeviantArt of three cute girls doing cute girl things.

Support good music! Go buy this song now! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.

 

Simple Minded Top 100 Songs 2019

# 9

black midi

“bmbmbm”

Schlagenheim

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

I like to pronounce “bmbmbm” as ‘boom boom boom’. Not to be confused with Vengaboys’ hit song “Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!!”

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Experimental-Nerd-Rock-Video-Game-Sexiness! When it comes to experimental alternative music, black midi is leading the way. Even their group photos are bizarre, as seen in this digital portrait of the band as video game-style avatars dressed up as surgeons and covered in blood. Though not mainstream sexy, I’m pretty sure you can find random people on 4chan who find this extremely sexy.

Support good music! Go buy this song now! Check back soon as we reveal the rest of the Top 100.