Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – January 2020


I’LL TAKE A LUCKY GUESS AND ASSUME THAT THE NEW RIDE WILL HAVE THE WORDS ‘SPLASH’, ‘WET’ AND/OR ‘SPLOOGETASTIC’ SOMEWHERE IN THE TITLE – Wet ‘N’ Wild Waterworld is building a new ride for the coming summer season and it promises to be their biggest ride yet.  A groundbreaking ceremony was held this month – complete with frog mascot – and park officials are optimistic about what the new year will bring.  The ride hasn’t been named yet and there are scant details on what the actual ride will look like, but the water park promises to drop hints on the new ride in the coming weeks.  (

TORNILLO IS FINALLY GETTING A PUBLIC PARK!  GOOD TO SEE THE EL PASO COUNTY GOVERNMENT FINALLY NOTICED THERE IS LIFE BEYOND SOCORRO ON THE EASTSIDE – The El Paso County Government along with Tornillo ISD have come together to build Coyote Park in Tornillo.  The park is named after one of the most dangerous things in the immediate vicinity of the park area – apparently Redneck Rapist Park was already taken.  Coyote Park will feature many amenities including new trees, trails, playgrounds and sidewalks and will connect with the $2.1 million hike and bike trail that will one day stretch from Alameda to Aguilera International Highway.  Now that El Paso County is finally showing some efficiency, maybe they can build some more parks in Fabens, San Elizario, Sparks, Clint and some of the other communities in the county.  (

THE BILLY ABRAHAM BOOZE IMPLOSION – Just days after getting probation for his skeevy business dealings, Billy Abraham decided to fight the system by getting drunk and driving to the El Paso Times building to yell at the newspaper.  It appears he wasn’t yelling at any specific person but at the newspaper itself.  I guess he was mad at the media but sort of chose the most irrelevant form of journalism he could find in this day and age.  Needless to say, he was arrested for drunk driving because he was visibly perturbed, parked incorrectly and the influence of booze was obvious to everyone at the scene.  Most people would just be sent to jail after doing something like this while on probation, but Billy Abraham will just get an award and live to drink another day.  (

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST THIS MONTH – January saw long time El Paso Zoo tiger Melor pass away after living a long life.  She was brought to the El Paso Zoo in 2001 and was beloved by many from the very beginning.  This month also saw Monsignor Francis J. Smith leave this world at the age of 85.  He served the El Paso community for decades, including 29 years at St. Raphael Parish.  Happy trails, friends.  (


WUHAN!  THEY GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK – Looks like the Wuhan Coronavirus is a lot tougher to control than originally thought and now we have cases popping up in different places around the world.  The Chinese government has practically shut down the country and isolated all of Wuhan and Hubei province but it seems like that wasn’t enough to keep the virus from spreading from the hot zone.  Technology is way more advanced today than what our ancestors had on hand during the bubonic plague/Black Death and the 1918 Influenza Pandemic.  So this will hopefully be stopped or somewhat controlled ……. I hope.  (

IN MORE SIGNS OF IMPENDING ARMAGEDDON, A RATHER LARGE VOLCANO IN PHILIPPINES IS THREATENING TO BLOW UP – The Taal volcano in the Philippines has been very active lately spewing tons of ash and lava in the surrounding area as scientists fear the eruptions will only get bigger.  The volcano is in a highly populated area and less than 100 miles from Manila.  Taal has already disrupted the lives of millions of people and the hope is that it doesn’t go off in a giant mega explosion.  Because a much bigger eruption would be very, very bad for the area.  (

IN OTHER NEWS, AUSTRALIA IS STILL ON FIRE – The brushfires that have been raging across Australia continue to burn, with the southeast portion of the country getting some of the most vicious fires.  The ecological disaster is already one for the record books and the social and economic impact is also quite massive.  The only thing that will stop this is eventual rains or if the fire just gets bored after burning the entire country to the ground.  Stay safe, Australia.  (

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JANUARY – One of the most shocking events this past month occurred when NBA legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter and others died in a helicopter crash just north of Los Angeles.  The loss was unexpected and the outpouring of grief has been massive around the world.  Fans of Lamb Chop and Shari Lewis would be saddened to know that Lan O’Kun has passed away.  He was vital in helping create the songs and stories of the Lamb Chop extended universe and with his passing only Lamb Chop and her other puppet friends remain as part of the original team.  Fortunately, Lamb Chop and her puppet friends are in good health and will outlive us all.  In January we also saw some great musicians, performers and writers pass away including Buck Henry, David Olney, Harriet Frank Jr. and Mary Higgins Clark.  Rest in peace, friends.  (