Month: December 2019

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/27/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER OVER 100 YEARS, WHITE SANDS WILL FINALLY BE A NATIONAL PARK – Due to land issues and multiple agreements, White Sands has only been classified as a national monument and has never received the full national park treatment.  But that should all change in 2020 as recently passed legislation in Washington includes a designation for White Sands to become a national park.  There will be a land-swap with the White Sands Military Base as part of the agreement, but as long as there is no environmental harm in this land deal it should be a win-win for everyone.  White Sands National Park has a nice ring to it.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THEY SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE, BUT EL PASO CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL HAS FINALLY TURNED A PROFIT!  HOORAY! – After around 7 years, and a bankruptcy, El Paso’s Children’s Hospital turned a profit for the first time in fiscal year 2019.  The hospital was expected to lose close to $4 million this year, but instead brought in a tidy $2.6 million in profit.  The hospital is on track to pay off its bankruptcy and will use the sudden influx in cash to expand services and help even more children – which is exactly what a children’s hospital should do instead of losing tons of money.  What a difference competent leadership and rigorous oversight can do for an organization.  (cbs4local.com)

NEVER CHANGE, EL PASO – Santa Claus celebrated Christmas this year in typical El Paso fashion by being stranded in traffic on I-10.  He was witness to a minor traffic accident that then turned into a foot chase along I-10 when an off-duty officer and other bystanders subdued the guy who crashed into multiple cars.  Naturally, the overtime commandos of the El Paso Police Department shut down the freeway for hours because even fender benders deserve full blown investigations – it’s not because they want to rack up easy overtime hours, honest.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHAT BETTER WAY TO SAY GOODBYE TO 2019 THAN WITH YET ANOTHER DEADLY GIANT WHIRLY STORM – Another deadly typhoon has struck the Philippines and, sadly, the world will continue to see more of these deadly storms in greater frequency in the years to come.  Typhoon Phanfone made landfall over the Christmas holiday and the storm has so far claimed the lives of 28 people.  It wasn’t the biggest storm to hit the Philippines this year, but that’s just because many large storms hit this season.  Goodbye 2019, we hope for less storms next year but know that will probably not be the case.  (bbc.com)

BELOVED STAR BETELGEUSE MIGHT EXPLODE INTO A SUPERNOVA ……. SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 100,000 YEARS – The media has been abuzz this week as news spread that Betelgeuse, one of the brightest stars in the night sky and a part of the Orion constellation, has been dimming at an alarming rate over the past few months.  Though the star normally varies in brightness, the substantial drop in brightness was rare and led to speculation that the star was dying and on the verge of exploding as a spectacular supernova.  Scientists aren’t exactly saying that an explosion is imminent, but it does appear that the star will probably go boom in the next couple of thousand years.  Or perhaps it already has exploded and we still haven’t seen it because light from the red supergiant takes about 600 years to get here.  Regardless, if we do see the explosion in our lifetime it will produce an amazing visual in the night sky that will be very memorable.  None of the effects of the explosion will be felt on earth, however.  But maybe the scientists are lying to us and super gamma radiation is on its way and that’s why they raided the solar observatory in Cloudcroft last year.  Just playing ……. or am I?  (universetoday.com)

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM SIMPLE MINDED ENTERTAINMENT.  NEW AND BETTER THINGS ARE ON THE HORIZON – Just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope you keep on periodically perusing our website.  Next year should bring some new and improved changes and perhaps some new features.  Starting next month we’ll be doing the Recap-ITATION! on a monthly basis, so we’ll see you in 30 days for a recap of what we found important/amusing/perturbing for January.  Happy Holidays one and all.  (simplemindedentertainment.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/20/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IN THE CITY OF EL PASO’S DEFENSE, THE CITY GOVERNMENT CAN BARELY MANAGE THEIR CURRENT PRIORITIES.  YOU REALLY WANT THEM OWNING AN ELECTRIC COMPANY? – The greedy fuckers at El Paso Electric have decided to sell out to the even greedier fuckers at JP Morgan and now we will have a completely privatized electric company.  The City Of El Paso had a shot to buy it and turn it into a municipal utility, but it just didn’t make much sense financially.  Even though virtually every other government group in the region wanted to block the sale, the City Of El Paso had the final say and decided not to risk their finances on owning a public utility.  So now we are left at the mercy of a private company to manage our electricity and, judging by privatized companies in the past, we’ll be lucky if they leave the headquarters in El Paso and only raise rates by a couple dozen percentage points.  (cbs4local.com)

THE PONIES ARE BACK JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS! – Horse racing is back at Sunland Park Racetrack and Casino starting on December 26.  This will be the 61st season of racing at the track and will run through April 21, 2020.  As always, the highlight of the race schedule will be the Sunland Derby at the end of the season but many big purse races will also take place from now until April.  So go cheer on your favorite ponies and jockeys at the track and make some money in the process.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GOOD SHOW, EL PASO SYMPHONY – Starting in 2020, the Tocando after school music project will expand to Tornillo Elementary School.  The program is sponsored by the El Paso Symphony and provides instruments and instruction to students from low-income schools.  The program currently serves Aoy and Hart Elementary as well as Guillen Middle School and the Young Women’s Academy.  This is a great program that provides music opportunities to student’s that would not regularly get a chance to seek out musical extracurricular activities.  It’s good to see Tornillo get some love.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE LATEST UN CLIMATE SUMMIT IS REACHING THE END AND REMARKABLY LITTLE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED.  BUT AT LEAST THE ATTENDEES GOT A NICE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST OUT OF THE DEAL – The Chile-hosted climate summit (that was moved to Madrid, Spain for rioting reasons) is about to close and the developed world and the developing world are as far apart as before.  So basically the big and rich countries don’t care anymore and just want to make as much money as possible before shit really hits the fan and small countries – particularly island nations – want something done immediately because they are already getting screwed over by rising sea levels.  As it stands, we’re all sort of fucked and it appears that climate change is here to stay and temperatures will keep on rising because there is very little that can actually be done in today’s political environment.  But at least rich people will be able to make even more money.  (reuters.com)

AUSTRALIA IS HOTTER THAN HELL AT THE MOMENT.  LITERALLY HOTTER THAN HELL – A massive heatwave is hitting Australia at the same moment that large brushfires are burning across New South Wales.  It was so hot in Australia that the record for hottest day ever was broken on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday as the average maximum temperature in the nation reached 41.9C (107.4F) – or an average summer day in El Paso.  So the fires and heat rage on as the forecast shows little cold/rain relief in the forecast.  (bbc.com)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!  AS AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, THE IDIOT DONALD TRUMP HAS JUST BEEN IMPEACHED! – Christmas is next week, so be sure to enjoy time with your loved ones as you eat tons of food, get lots of presents and watch a bunch of Star Wars movies.  As an early present, Congress finally impeached Donald Trump for only a few of the corrupt things the idiot has done while in power.  Unfortunately, the Republican controlled Senate – led by Mitch McConnell and other bootlickers – are already on their knees ready to suck Donald Trump’s dick and let him go free once the Senate trial begins.  But at least history will know how horrible Donald Trump is as he becomes only the 3rd  American president in history to be impeached.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/13/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ALL HAIL TONY THE TIGER.  HE HAS DETHRONED OSCAR LEESER AS THE KING OF THE SUN BOWL AND WILL NOW RUN FOR MAYOR OF EL PASO – The Sun Bowl is now the Tony The Tiger Sun Bowl and this year the match up will feature Arizona State Vs. Florida State.  This is a solid match-up and will be the first time in over 50 years that Florida State has played in the Sun Bowl.  The game will be played at noon on December 31 and will be broadcast on CBS.  Get your tickets now and make Tony The Tiger proud.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

SANTA KHALIDAUS STRIKES AGAIN – Among all the local organizations that hand out toys and gifts for the less fortunate in El Paso, The Great Khalid Foundation is one of the most memorable ones.  Every year since his rise to fame, Khalid and the foundation led by his mother has given out toys to various schools throughout the region.  This year, The Great Khalid Foundation chose Whitaker Elementary as one of the schools they would surprise this year and every student received a present.  Kudos to Khalid and everyone else in the region who gives a little extra during the holidays.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

IF EVERY OTHER RANDOM EVENT CAN BE A LEGITIMATE HIGH SCHOOL COMPETITION, THEN REBOTE HAS EVERY RIGHT TO BE RECOGNIZED.  NEXT STOP, COMPETITIVE SYNCHRONIZED LOWRIDER HYDRAULIC SHOWS – Recently, Bowie High School hosted one of the first high school Rebote tournaments that featured teams from Chapin, Jefferson as well as Bowie.  The inaugural championship was won by the team from Chapin and we hope this is the first of many officially sanctioned Rebote events in the region.  Although many people are not familiar with the sport, it’s in the same family as Squash which is a fully sanctioned international sport.  And would it kill them to make high school e-sports an actual thing – video game nerds need a shot at highs school glory too.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AND THE SLOW MOTION CAR WRECK KNOWN AS BREXIT LOOKS TO BE HEADING TO ITS INEVITABLE CONCLUSION – The Pro-Brexit conservative party has won a majority in the UK election and now Boris Johnson will finally sign off on the amazingly shitty exit deal that they were able to negotiate.  The UK will now be at a worse economic position on the global stage and will have to renegotiate trade deals from a weaker position.  But at least they get to stick it to the immigrants and liberals!  This is what it must feel like to look at Donald Trump and his stupidity parade from the comfort of a foreign country.  It’s only funny when you’re not in the middle of it.  (bbc.com)

SAUDI ARABIA NOW HAS EVEN MORE MONEY!  IT’S ALWAYS NICE WHEN THE POOR UNDERDOG FINALLY MAKES IT – As Saudi Arabia sees the writing on the wall regarding the future of oil, it has decided to privatize some of its oil assets in order to “cash out” and raise funds for non-energy investments.  Last week, Saudi Aramco raised over $25 billion in its initial offering and the company is hovering around the $2 trillion valuation.  Meanwhile in America, the idiots are doubling down on “muh oil” and fracking the shit out of everything to sell barrels of oil below the breakeven price.  But once the oil sector implodes we can just rely on “the internet” and the “thoughts and prayers” sectors to prop up the economy.  (bbc.com)

IT’S THE GOLDEN AGE OF THE MILF!  WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE – A study by the Pew Research Center has found that 23% of children in America live in single parent households.  That rate is the highest in the world and is around 3 times larger than the global rate of 7%.  Most of these are single mom households and America is leading the way in milf-appreciation and milf hunting activities.  Long live the milfs!  (pewresearch.org)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/06/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

FAREWELL, SILVA’S SUPERMARKET.  YOU ARE A SEGUNDO BARRIO INSTITUTION AND YOU WILL FOREVER BE MISSED – Sad news was revealed this week when the Silva family announced that their landmark store and business would be shutting down on December 31, 2019.  The store was started in 1918 under the El Faro name by Jose Felix Silva and for over 100 years it has served Downtown El Paso in an ever evolving business model that spanned multiple locations and various names.  According to the owners, they just wanted to retire and the newer generation of the family did not want to continue the store and were unwilling to sell to another non-family ownership group.  Silva’s provided a great service to the Segundo Barrio and was an icon of independent business ownership throughout the region.  Where will the cholo’s buy their tall boys now?  Will someone please think of the cholos!  (cbs4local.com)

HOORAY FOR ELECTRIC BUSES!  A NEW HYBRID ELECTRIC BUS LINE WILL CONNECT EL PASO TO SUNLAND PARK AND BEYOND.  ELECTRIC BUSES WILL SAVE US ALL! – In an attempt to increase connectivity and public transit options between El Paso and Southern New Mexico, the South Central Regional Transit District has announced expanded projects thanks to funding from the El Paso Metropolitan Planning Organization.  The plans include purchasing two hybrid-electric buses to improve service on the upgraded Yellow Route connecting El Paso and Sunland Park.  In addition, enhanced service will be provided on the Purple Route that connects Las Cruces, the communities in Southern New Mexico and El Paso.  Now if we could only get a train line to connect El Paso and Las Cruces and everything in between.  (cbs4local.com)

ALL THAT MUSIC & VIDEO IS TRULY THE LITTLE RECORD STORE THAT COULD – Perhaps the most well known record store in the greater Paso Del Norte region, All That Music is announcing expansion plans for 2020.  The business has been open for decades and George Reynoso has led the business through the ups and downs of the music industry including the digital wave that destroyed the majority of record stores and physical media sellers throughout the world.  In 2020, All That Music will move its main retail operations to a space at The Fountains but will keep its current location as a retail warehouse that will process online orders and give visitors a chance to browse through their massive used music/movie collection.  And for fans of selling and trading, don’t fret; it appears the much loved sell/trade option will still be alive and well at the warehouse location.  So support your local businesses and go buy some kick ass vinyl at All That Music.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

JUST IN CASE ANYONE HAS FORGOTTEN, INDIA IS STILL FUCKING OVER KASHMIR FOUR MONTHS AFTER THEIR “SECURITY TAKEOVER”.  JUST A REMINDER – While most of the international news focuses on what is happening in Hong Kong or the Earth’s inevitable climate collapse, it should be noted that four months after stripping Kashmir of its autonomy and taking over for “security reasons” – the people in Kashmir are basically prisoners and don’t even have internet access, among other things.  The right wing nationalist nut jobs in control of the Indian government think this is great because it buys votes from the ignorant and makes them feel like tough guys for invading someone else’s land and calling it their own.  Hell, if other Frankenstein countries like Brazil, Russia, China and the U.S.A. can do it – why not India?  So Kashmir continues to be isolated and now most of the people will lose their WhatsApp accounts.  WhatsApp is basically the only form of reliable communication in most underdeveloped areas where the government doesn’t particularly care about infrastructure or freedom or anything besides bribery and exploitation.  (bbc.com)

YUP, WE’RE FUCKED – The once mighty Victoria Falls is now a mere trickle as the increased frequency of droughts and changes to the rain pattern have taken their toll on the amount of water feeding the Zambezi river and the waterfalls.  The drought this year is one of the worst in the last 100 years and most of southern Africa is feeling the pain.  Climate change cannot be blamed for individual instances of drought and specific events such as this one, but the increased frequency of droughts and low levels of rain can be attributed to climate change and things will only get worse.  If this can happen at the mighty Victoria Falls, what chance do the rest of us have?  (reuters.com)

THIS IS HOW SYFY CHANNEL MOVIES USUALLY START.  COMING SOON ……. POLAR BEAR APOCALYPSE! – Thanks to melting sea ice and warmer temperatures, polar bears are traveling farther south in search for food.  The Russian village of Ryrkaypiy has recently been visited by over 50 polar bears this year and authorities are fearful that the visits will increase and somebody will get hurt.  On the bright side, most people thought that the melting arctic ice would kill off all polar bears.  But now we know that they will move to Russian villages where they will drink vodka and complain about the world around them.  Meanwhile – in Derbyshire, England – swans go house by house and knock on the doors asking for food.  The swans aren’t forced into town by warmer temperatures, they just find it easier to waddle around asking people for food.  Invasion Of The Derbyshire Swans isn’t a particularly scary movie.  (bbc.com)