Month: November 2019

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/29/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

DAMN!  TXDOT HAS A GOOD IDEA FOR ONCE.  THE END OF THE WORLD MIGHT BE COMING SOON – As a result of all the pedestrian safety issues along Mesa in the Kern Place/Cincinnati/UTEP party zone, txdot has unveiled preliminary plans for a pedestrian deck that stretches across North Mesa.  The street itself will tunnel under the pedestrian deck to allow pedestrians to simply walk from one side of the street to the other with minimal change in grading.  A pedestrian bridge across North Mesa has also been suggested in the past for this area, but history and studies show that people are too fucking lazy to climb stairs and would rather risk their lives than add a few extra steps to their journey.  This is just preliminary and part of the 20 year plan for Mesa, but it’s a start and is a much needed improvement after all the countless pedestrian casualties that have happened in that area over the years.  We don’t say this often – but good show, txdot.  (cbs4local.com)

MORE PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BUDDY WANZER AND HIS IMPACT ON THE LAS CRUCES CINEMATIC SCENE.  AND NOW PEOPLE WILL GET A CHANCE TO SEE HIS MOST MEMORABLE MOVIE ON THE BIG SCREEN! – Orville “Buddy” Wanzer was a pioneer in the region’s movie-making scene and an underrated icon in the Las Cruces community.  In addition to creating films, he was also a professor at NMSU who encouraged the art of cinema in the region.  Wanzer’s “The Devil’s Mistress” was an acid western made in 1965 and was the first documented feature length movie to be created and produced in Las Cruces.  That movie will be screening next week at the Rio Grande Theatre in Las Cruces as a memorial to Buddy Wanzer and as a way to raise funds to finish a documentary on his work.  Buddy Wanzer passed away earlier this year but his legacy will live on and hopefully more people will become familiar with his work.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

MAYBE IF WE GIVE THEM ANOTHER HALF A BILLION DOLLARS, THE EL PASO POLICE DEPARTMENT CAN JUST CREATE A GESTAPO AND KILL EVERYONE IN THE CITY.  THAT WILL SOLVE ALL THE CRIMES! – It says a lot about the local media, and local bootlickers in general, that KVIA was the only news organization to make a major story out of the video of an El Paso police officer threatening to kill a civilian because he made a stupid comment.  But the worst thing about this has been the official police response that blamed the guy who was threatened because he didn’t report a naked guy running in the street.  Apparently he should have been a psychic and known that the guy was high on drugs and had just attacked his kids inside his house.  How can the EPPD do its job when civilians aren’t psychics?  That’s just too hard.  And worst of all, the civilian “insulted the badge”.  Oh no, he insulted the badge.  How will the badge survive such trauma and pain.  Who will explain to the badge’s wife and little badge children that the badge was insulted and died of emotional injuries.  Oh, the horror!  Naturally, nothing will come of this and the cop will just get a slap on the wrist – if anything – while the city gives them hundreds of millions of dollars with no accountability.  The guy that mouthed off to the cop was a moron, but that’s no excuse for a public servant that gets paid to carry a gun to threaten to kill him.  That’s not how a public servant should act.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

ALBANIA IS NOT EXACTLY KNOWN AS A HOTBED OF SEISMIC ACTIVITY, BUT WE WERE REMINDED THIS WEEK THAT MAJOR EARTHQUAKES DON’T ALWAYS HAPPEN ALONG ULTRA-ACTIVE FAULT LINES – A 6.4 magnitude earthquake struck Albania on Tuesday and the tremor caught many by surprise.  The death toll is at 30 but that number is expected to rise.  Most of the major damage occurred in the cities of Durres and Thumane with scenes coming out of the area showing many collapsed buildings.  Building standards in Albania are not at the same level as can be found in major earthquake zones and that is one of the factors that contributed to the heavy damage.  Stay safe, Albania.  (bbc.com)

WELL, THAT SEEMED LIKE A FUN THANKSGIVING VOYAGE FOR MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN AMERICA – Large winter storms hit the western part of the United States earlier this week and have trudged eastward over the course of the week.  In their wake they have left delayed flights and closed roads that have had knock-on effects from coast to coast.  So if you didn’t have to get out of your house this week and travel, lucky you.  Who says being a shut-in with no family doesn’t have its benefits.  (reuters.com)

ACCORDING TO BRAZILIAN IDIOT AND APPARENT PRESIDENT, JAIR BOLSONARO, LEONARDO DICAPRIO IS FINANCING THE FIRES IN THE AMAZON IN ORDER TO GAIN PUBLICITY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES. THAT’S NOT A JOKE, THE PRESIDENT OF A COUNTRY ACTUALLY SAID SOMETHING THAT STUPID – So Leonardo DiCaprio is an arsonist and environmentalists are burning down the Amazon in order to get more money to use in stopping the destruction of the rainforest that they are burning down.  Yup, that sounds like a pretty solid conspiracy theory – not at all stupid.  At least we now know that right wing nutjobs around the world are all equally vapid and moronic.  Meanwhile, the world is approaching multiple climate change tipping points and we are all pretty much fucked.  Maybe we can blame this one on other random Hollywood celebrities as well.  (reuters.com/discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/22/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TREES!  LIGHT PARADES!  LITTLE TRAINS!  ICE!  YES, IT IS TIME FOR DOWNTOWN WINTERFEST! – The annual Downtown El Paso winter festival is back again this year and it is bigger than ever.  The downtown event that expanded on the tree lighting started back in the late ‘90s, by my estimates, and it has slowly become one of the better family traditions in the area.  This year the decades old tree lighting ceremony will be accompanied by the now traditional light parade.  In addition, the Downtown Winterfest will continue through the new year with vendors, an ice skating rink and a little train near the Plaza De Los Lagartos festival area.  So embrace the cold and head to Downtown El Paso and welcome even colder temperatures.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

I THANK THE NATURALLY OCCURRING LITHIUM IN THE GREATER PASO DEL NORTE REGION’S WATER SUPPLY FOR THE LOW LEVELS OF DEPRESSION.  SWEET, SWEET LITHIUM – A new study has found that El Paso has the second lowest rate of depression among mid-size cities in the United States and is in the top 20 overall among all cities.  Though the study isn’t part of a major scientific research project, it’s still nice to see El Paso come among the top-tier in lists like this.  There are many factors that contribute to El Paso’s good mental health ratings, but I’m just going to give 100% credit to the lithium in the water supply.  Thank you, lithium.  (cbs4local.com)

LET’S BUILD A CHIHUAHUAN DESERT EXHIBIT INSIDE OF A ZOO THAT’S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CHIHUAHUAN DESERT! [MIND BLOWN] THE EL PASO ZOO IS THE MOST META ZOO IN THE UNIVERSE – Although at first glance it seems a bit absurd that a zoo in the Chihuahuan Desert spent millions on a Chihuahuan Desert exhibit, the fact that the exhibit will focus on preservation of local species makes it all worth it.  There are many species in our surrounding desert – including Mexican grey wolves, mountain lions, jaguars and parrots – that are threatened and some that are practically extinct in certain areas and this new zoo section will bring awareness to all the amazing animals that live in the desert and perhaps create an opportunity to re-introduce these species back into the wild.  They also have a Copper Canyon themed rope course so you can make a fool of yourself when you realize just how out of shape you really are.  Let’s protect the Chihuahuan Desert.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF EBOLA DOESN’T KILL YOU IN THE DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF CONGO, THE MEASLES WILL AT LEAST FUCK YOU UP A LITTLE MORE.  SEE KIDS, THAT’S WHY VACCINES ARE IMPORTANT – More than twice as many people have died from the measles virus as have died from the Ebola outbreak in DR Congo in this year alone.  Around 250,000 people have been infected this year alone and the epidemic has been compounded by a shortage of vaccines and attacks on medical personnel.  If there’s a silver lining it’s that if the Ebola virus didn’t destroy DR Congo, no virus known to man will ever cripple it completely.  (bbc.com)

HONG KONG IS STILL A MESS AND IT LOOKS LIKE CHINA IS JUST GOING TO LET THE WHOLE COMMUNITY IMPLODE AS IT SLOWLY TAKES IT OVER FROM WITHIN – The unrest continues in Hong Kong as elections loom next week.  Protesters are being arrested, including young students, and it looks like China is more than happy to let the territory tear itself apart as it gradually turns it into official China province #1194583.  And regardless of the results of the election, the world will just wag their finger and won’t do anything else because trying to force China to do the right thing is as pointless an endeavor as getting Russia or America to do the right thing and not be selfish.  (bbc.com)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING! – It’s Thanksgiving next week, so have fun with your family that you only see once or twice a year and try not to get too wasted and argue with your loved ones.  And if you’re going to the Sun Bowl Thanksgiving parade be safe and be on the lookout for the Dragons Of Thrones float by the Delta Academy – this one wasn’t built with taxpayer money!  See that, El Paso County government?  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/15/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

UTEP IS MANUFACTURING SUCCESS ……. LITERALLY! – $70 million has been approved at the state level for UTEP to expand on its additive engineering and rocket research programs.  The money will be used to build a new facility for the Center For Advanced Manufacturing And Aerospace and to update UTEP’s aerospace research facilities at the old Fabens Airport.  The projects will support work in high tech fields that constantly need new employees and UTEP will be helping fill the need for these jobs in the future.  To infinity and beyond, UTEP.  (cbs4local.com)

JEFFERSON HAS A NEW PAIR OF MASCOTS THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE A TRANSFORMER LOWRIDER.  WHEN WILL A CENTRAL EL PASO SCHOOL FINALLY ACCEPT FATE AND CHOOSE A TRANSFORMER LOWRIDER AS A MASCOT? – Please welcome Jeffrey and Sylvia Fox to the El Paso mascot community.  The Jefferson/Sylvia mascots have cool new costumes that replace the old ones that have been around for years.  Jeffrey is a classic red fox and a boy, while Sylvia is a silver fox and a girl wearing a pink skirt.  The new costumes look great and Jefferson should be proud of their new ambassadors.  Though if they wanted to be completely accurate; the silver fox should be a retired body shop owner who works out a lot, is recently widowed and now spends all his cash at strip clubs.  Becoming a silver fox is the only way to retire.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

IT’S GOOD TO SEE THAT THE CITY OF EL PASO GOVERNMENT TAKES THEIR MARCHING ORDERS FROM WAL-MART.  HEAVEN FORBID THE CITY NOT BE BEHOLDEN TO CORPORATE INTERESTS – The City Of El Paso recently moved the makeshift memorial in honor of the victims of the August 3 terrorist attack from its natural site on the road behind Wal-Mart to the nearby, and  out of the way, Ponder Park.  It’s only a coincidence that the city moved the memorial a few days before Wal-Mart rushed its reopening just in time for Black Friday.  It’s not like the city bent over backwards for a large corporation that has been largely indifferent to the terrorist attack.  Wal-Mart is also building a memorial for the victims, but that won’t be completed by Black Friday because memorials don’t sell Chinese goods at enormously marked up prices and thus can’t turn a profit.  ALSO, DON’T FORGET TO SHOP AT THE CIELO VISTA WAL-MART – IT HAS REOPENED AND HAS SPECIALS FOR ALL!  This message has been approved by the City Of El Paso.  (elpasoheraldposst.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

I THINK THIS IS HOW WATERWORLD STARTED.  NICE KNOWING YOU, VENICE – Flooding in Venice, Italy has reached near record levels and 80% of the city was flooded at one point this week.  The flooding was a result of storms and a wind-aided tide that raised the high tide to a near record 187 cm on Tuesday, just below the 194 cm reached in 1966.  Although global climate change cannot be blamed for causing this specific event, the rising temperatures globally are having a chaotic change in global weather patterns that will make events like this the norm and not just a “once in a generation” event.  In fact, of the top ten high tides that have hit Venice since records began in 1923, around half have occurred in the past decade or so.  So while climate change isn’t creating monster storms, it is creating conditions that make them more frequent.  Visit Venice while you can before Kevin Costner buys it and turns it into Waterworldland.  Kevin Costner was right all along.  (bbc.com)

I THINK I’VE READ THIS BOOK BEFORE.  I BELIEVE IT WAS CALLED HISTORY OF THE UNITED STATES UP TO 1900 – As the world’s attention regarding China focuses on Hong Kong and its trade war with the U.S., China has been using the distractions to expand its program to move thousands of the Uighur population away from their homeland.  The Uighurs are an ethnic minority in China that are predominantly Muslim and live in the northwest portion of the country.  The Chinese want to drive them out of their homeland and have been settling the area with ethnic Han Chinese for decades.  Reservations, internment camps and settlers sent to forcibly replace a population – where have we seen that before?  Hmmmmm?  In a perfect world the Uighurs would gain their independence and a portion of northwest China and Central Asia would be set aside to form a new nation.  But the world we live in is not fair and we’ll be lucky if a couple hundred Uighur are alive a hundred years from now and the Chinese government is “fair” enough to “allow” them to have a casino on their own land.  Then the government can capitalize on their greed and create a bullshit blood quantum gatekeeper to ensure that the tribe becomes inbred and ends up disappearing entirely in a few generations.  At least China learned from the best.  (independent.co.uk)

THE HISTORY OF PLAGUE IS ALMOST AS EXCITING AS THE HISTORY OF HUMANS – New research has found that Yersinia pestis, the delightful bacteria that causes plague, has been found in humans for thousands of years before the first major plague was recorded.  Overall, the plague is believed to have claimed the lives of over 200 million people over the course of human history and is quite the nasty infection.  Discover Magazine has a great summary of the plague’s history and the most up to date research that is showing us just how far back it has harmed humans, so go check it out and learn about our deadly little friend.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/08/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

HOORAY!  NEW MEXICO STATE UNIVERSITY IS #710! – U.S. News And World Report just released their annual list of the best universities in the world and NMSU came in at #710 of the 1,500 universities that made the cut.  Considering all the universities in the world, this is quite the accomplishment.  UTEP didn’t even make the list, so we’ll assume that they are number #10,000 or something.  Or maybe they’re so awesome that they can’t even be ranked.  Congratulations NMSU you are a great university and some of your programs have been acknowledged as world class.  In our hearts your Green Chile Agricultural degree will always be the greatest education program in the universe.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

AFTER DECADES OF DOMINATING EL PASO’S AIRWAVES, ESTELA CASAS IS MOVING ON TO A NEW CAREER – Estela Casas announced her retirement from KVIA this week as she embarks on her new career as Executive Director of the University Medical Center Foundation.  Estela has become the face of TV news in the region and she will be missed by all.  But don’t worry about her, she has a new career now and will do much more meaningful work as leader of the charitable arm of UMC/Thomason Hospital.  Even though the ownership group had turned KVIA into a right wing mouthpiece (like most other local stations), Estela Casas was always a professional and reported on stories without bias.  This is a big loss for KVIA and we will see how they respond once general manager Kevin Lovell removes his mouth from Donald Trump’s dick while prominent Texas right wing nut jobs cheer him on.  Estela will finish out the year at KVIA and will begin her new endeavor in 2020.  Godspeed, Estela.  (kvia.com)

DIG A LITTLE DEEP AND HELP A CITY OUT – El Paso Giving Day, the holiday created by the Paso Del Norte Community Foundation to get El Pasoans to donate money before they blow it all on Black Friday, will take place again this year on November 14.  The early giving period has already begun and the donations currently outpace the rate of giving seen in other years.  This year matching funds will be provided by Wal-Mart – and its $1 million match – along with other organizations.  So make sure to donate to your favorite local charity now or on November 14 and keep making El Paso a great place to live.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

EVO MORALES MAY HAVE JUST OVERESTIMATED HOW MUCH THE PEOPLE OF BOLIVIA LOVED HIM.  SPOILER ALERT:  IT APPEARS THE MAJORITY OF THE COUNTRY LOATHED HIM ENOUGH TO RIOT – Almost all of Bolivia is being gripped by protests and riots after Evo Morales got cute in the last election.  During the first round of elections last month, the vote count mysteriously stopped for almost a day and then it was announced that Evo Morales won the 1st round of voting by more than 10% – thus avoiding a run-off election.  The funny thing is that Evo Morales would have probably won the run-off election in a landslide so he didn’t really need to dick around with the first round of voting.  But I guess he got cocky after he basically annulled term limits and was on his way to becoming dictator for life.  Congratulations, Venezuela.  You are no longer the biggest clusterfuck in South America.  We now wait anxiously to see if Argentina or Brazil take the bait and do something amazingly stupid in the coming week.  (bbc.com)

NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY CALIFORNIA, AUSTRALIA IS ALSO ON FIRE – Dozens of large bushfires are burning around New South Wales and Queensland states in Australia as evacuation orders have been given to thousands of residents.  Much like California; dry conditions, crazy winds and unbridled development are the root cause of the fires that will only be exasperated in the future by climate change.  Unlike California, Australia has precious kangaroos and koalas that can’t run away from the fires.  Will someone please help the kangaroos and koalas!  (reuters.com)

IT’S SINGLES DAY ON MONDAY (11/11), THE CHINESE HOLIDAY INVENTED TO CELEBRATE BEING SINGLE AND WASTING MONEY.  IT’S ALSO VETERAN’S DAY.  HOORAY, CAPITALISM WON! – Have a safe weekend and have fun with whatever you have planned for this Monday’s Veteran’s Day and/or Singles Day.  Veteran’s day celebrates all the members of the armed forces present and past who have mainly fought in America’s wars to spread Western values, like capitalism, around the world.  Meanwhile, Singles Day is a Chinese holiday that started out as a way for college students to celebrate being single (11/11 is just a bunch of lone ‘1’s) and that later evolved into Alibaba’s shameless celebration of Chinese consumerism and capitalism.  Who says America’s push for Western ideals hasn’t had an impact globally.  (bloomberg.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/01/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

HUGS NOT WALLS IS THE MESSAGE THE WORLD NEEDS TODAY – After a bit of a delay, the annual Hugs Not Walls event was held on the Rio Grande along El Paso and Juarez.  Even after all the bullshit that the Trumpublicans have done to the nation, it’s good to see that this event is still going strong.  It only lasted for a few minutes but 300 families had the chance to meet face to face after being separated by antiquated immigration laws.  Maybe one day North America will be advanced enough to become something similar to the European Union where commerce and people flow freely with maximum economic output, but I’m not holding my breath.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

WE ALL NOW THAT EL PASO HIGH’S R.R. JONES STADIUM IS THE BEST HIGH SCHOOL STADIUM IN THE WORLD.  NOW LET’S MAKE IT SEMI-OFFICIAL – USA Today has an online poll for best high school football stadium in America and El Paso High’s R.R. Jones Stadium has made the championship round.  The stadium was up against mostly large stadiums that don’t really have any aesthetic value outside of size so it should be a cinch for the stadium to win.  Regardless, go to the website and vote to make it known to everyone that our stadium rocks.  It’s the best and we really don’t need a USA Today poll to prove it, but winning would be pretty cool.  (cbs4local.com)

A SUPER LIGHT SHOW IS COMING TO CONNECT EL PASO AND JUAREZ WITH THE POWER OF PHOTONS!  AS LONG AS IT INVOLVES LAZER TAG AND/OR LIGHTSABERS, I AM IN – The Border Tuner art installation doesn’t launch until November 13, but their website is already up and is accepting submissions to provide “community voices”.  The art installation will feature lights and audio to create a visual connection between El Paso and Juarez right on the Rio Grande near Bowie High.  The entire art project will run for 12 days starting on November 13 and will feature various artists from around the region and the world.  The art installation provides a message of unity that we all need right now and looks to be a very impressive project.  So go check it out!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE POLLUTION IN DELHI, INDIA IS REALLY BAD RIGHT NOW.  A LOT WORSE THAN NORMAL AND THAT’S PRETTY FUCKING BAD – The pollution in Delhi has reached such a severe level that classes have been canceled until next week and all construction in the region has been halted.  The current level for particulate pollution is about 20 times the World Health Organization allowed maximum, so things are pretty bad.  The Indian government is busy pointing fingers at each other and nothing will really be done to stop the pollution.  India is currently the poster child for unbridled capitalism and even though it has resulted in some tremendous economic growth it has come at a high price when it comes to the environment and income equality.  But hey, everyone in India is getting cell phones and streaming entertainment.  Who cares if they don’t live long enough to enjoy it.  (bbc.com)

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MONTREAL EXPOS FOR WINNING THEIR FIRST WORLD SERIES.  FELICITATIONS! – In true Halloween spirit, the Montreal Expos went into this year’s World Series dressed up as the “Washington Nationals” and won the championship in 7 games.  The series was surprisingly exciting and featured no wins for the home team over the entire series.  Kudos to the Expos and may they have continued success in the future.  (sbnation.com)

DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME HAS ENDED.  DON’T FORGET TO “FALL BACK” – Remember to turn back the clock one hour on Sunday at 2 AM, unless you live in a weirdo place like Arizona that doesn’t believe in things.  This is a special time of the year where you get an extra hour to party at bars as the 2 AM last call magically turns into 1 AM.  Just don’t forget to change your clock; because you’ll end up showing up early to church or work or school or some other thing instead of staying home and getting an extra hour of comfy sleep.  Don’t miss out on the free sleep!  (cbs4local.com)