Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/12/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EL PASO AREA SUPERINTENDENTS MAKE EL PASO PROUD! – In hilarious news this week, it was just revealed that two local superintendents got in a fight in a San Antonio Whataburger in mid-June.  The conflict started when an unnamed El Paso area superintendent (cover-up much?) went up to Socorro ISD Superintendent Jose Espinoza and criticized his clothes.  To be exact, the unnamed idiot said, ““Where are you coming from? Soccer practice?”  At that point, Jose Espinoza did the obvious cholo-thing and told him to repeat the question.  The exact quote was not listed, but the natural Socorro cholo phrase would be, “Why don’t you come say that to my face, ese?”  Unnamed idiot took the bait but then head-butted Jose Espinoza after repeating the question.  The situation broke down into a mini-brawl with Jose Espinoza throwing a punch after the head butt.  There is no detailed specifics, but I like to think they both started slap-fighting and then they wrestled around on the floor like some comedy involving yuppies fighting.  There is obviously some special treatment going on and the other superintendent should be named and hopefully ridiculed for getting into a drunk fight at a Whataburger during a “leadership” conference.  Our superintendents might not be too good at educating kids, but damn can they drunk fight with the best of them.  (cbs4local.com)

MAYBE THOSE “SAVE CRAZY CAT TRAIL” PEOPLE CAN FINALLY DO SOMETHING USEFUL AND “SAVE RED SANDS”.  ARROYO TRAILS ARE A DIME A DOZEN IN EL PASO, SAND DUNES ARE MUCH RARER AND NEED TO BE SAVED – To no one’s surprise, irresponsible morons flooded Red Sands during the July 4th holiday and left the beautiful dunes covered in trash and debris.  This Sunday morning the Texas Rescue Patrol (TPR) will be holding a volunteer cleanup at Red Sands with the hope of cleaning up all the trash left in the aftermath of July 4th.  TPR is a great volunteer group that tries to keep Red Sands clean and safe for the community.  It would be nice if the government could finally turn Red Sands into a regional, state or national park area – but the dunes lie amid a hodgepodge of private lots with no unified ownership.  It would take a lot of effort, but turning Red Sands into regulated public park land should be a high priority for all local stakeholders.  If a random arroyo trail like Crazy Cat can be saved, then why not Red Sands?  (cbs4local.com)

WELCOME BACK, CODY DECKER – Ex-El Paso Chihuahuas player, Cody Decker, recently announced his retirement from professional baseball and his return to El Paso.  Decker will now be the Associate Executive Director for Athletic Development with the El Paso Border Youth Athletic Association where he will help local youth reach their athletic potential.  He and his wife, Jenn Sterger Decker, will also be doing a radio/podcast sports show in the area and we wish them the greatest success on their return home.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

NEW ORLEANS SHOULD HAVE LEARNED ITS LESSON AFTER KATRINA, RIGHT?  THE NEW ORLEANS GOVERNMENT ISN’T THAT INCOMPETENT, RIGHT? – Tropical Storm Barry is expected to hit southern Louisiana as a category one hurricane over the weekend and people all across Louisiana are bracing for impact.  Although not a severely powerful storm, Barry will bring a ton of rain to the region and will test the flood protection capabilities of New Orleans and surrounding areas.  Much was learned after Hurricane Katrina devastated the city and, hopefully, New Orleans is now better prepared to handle hurricanes and extreme flooding.  (reuters.com)

IT’S CRICKET-MANIA AS ENGLAND AND NEW ZEALAND PLAY FOR THE CRICKET WORLD CUP TITLE – The world cup final (the cricket one, not the futball one) is finally upon us as England take on New Zealand for the championship on Sunday.  Both teams had some shaky moments during the tournament, but persevered and pulled off some outstanding wins to get where they are.  The Cricket World Cup is played under the one-day international format that consists of 50 overs a side and is not to be confused with traditional cricket where one game can take days, months or even years to complete (only a slight exaggeration).  So get ready for some exciting cricket action!  It’s like baseball only cricket is actually fun.  (bbc.com)

THIS IS HOW THE SEAWEED MONSTER COMES TO LIFE.  ONLY GODZILLA CAN SAVE US NOW – 2018 saw the largest seaweed bloom in history stretch from West Africa across the Atlantic Ocean to the Gulf of Mexico.  A scientific study of this amazing phenomenon did not pinpoint an exact cause, but it is believed a series of events and conditions created the explosion of Sargassum weed that eventually washed up in beaches around the Atlantic.  I’m not saying this giant mass of seaweed will become a sentient seaweed monster, but I’ve seen enough monster movies to know that this is exactly what is going to happen.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/05/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WILL CHICO THE CHIHUAHUA WIN THE HOME RUN DERBY?  YOU’LL HAVE TO TUNE IN TO FIND OUT – The 2019 RMHC Triple-A Baseball All-Star Game will be happening next week and El Paso’s very own City Hall Field has been chosen to host the festivities.  Three Chihuahuas baseball players (Ty France, Austin Allen and Luis Urias) will take part in the all-star game and some will also take a shot in the home run derby.  And I’m sure Chico The Chihuahua will also show up at some point and do various dances on the field among other antics.  The game will take place on July 10 with the home run derby taking place a few days before on July 8.  So make sure you go out and support your Chihuahuas and make the city look good on the national stage.  So that means NOT getting drunk at the game and running naked onto the field.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THIS IS WHY ANIMAL SERVICES ALWAYS TELLS PEOPLE WEEKS IN ADVANCE TO TAKE CARE OF THEIR PETS DURING JULY 4TH.  MORAL OF THE STORY, MOST PETS DON’T LIKE FIREWORKS AND A BUNCH GOT LOST THIS PAST 4TH OF JULY – Between July 3 and July 5, 188 lost pets were brought to El Paso Animal Services in the hopes that their owners would be found.  The July 4th holiday is typically one of the busiest times at the animal shelter due to lost pets, and this year was no exception.  Most fees are being waived this month as animal services tries to reunite most of these pets with their families, so if you lost your pet this past week – please check with the animal shelter and make sure you follow the warnings and keep a close eye on your pets during these types of holidays.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

WET N’ WILD IS CELEBRATING ITS 40TH ANNIVERSARY AND THAT MEANS 40 YEARS OF JULY 4TH FIREWORKS! – We’re in the midst of Wet N’ Wild’s 40th anniversary celebration season and this July 4th the water park marked 40 years of fireworks and Independence Day celebrations.  Here’s to 40 more years of hot girls in bikinis and explosions!  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AND THAT WAS A VERY BIG REMINDER THAT CALIFORNIA GETS EARTHQUAKES.  IT’S BEEN MORE THAN 20 YEARS SINCE A QUAKE THIS BIG HIT THE STATE, BUT THERE’S A REASON THEY SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON EARTHQUAKE-SAFE CONSTRUCTION – Not one, but two, major earthquakes have struck California in the past few days and the southern part of the state is on edge after a few decades of rather tranquil earthquake activity.  The first tremor was a major 6.4 quake that struck near Ridgecrest on July 4 and then tonight an even bigger 7.1 quake struck in roughly the same area.  Though many people thought the first quake was the main event, it turns out it was only a foreshock.  Luckily no major casualties have been recorded from these quakes, but the shaking was strong enough to be felt in Los Angeles and Las Vegas which are more than 100 miles away.  Keep safe, Californinos.  (ktla.com)

WHAT WE REALLY WANT TO KNOW IS HOW MANY TEAM USA PLAYERS WILL GET DRUNK AT DISNEY WORLD IF THEY WIN THE WORLD CUP.  I SAY DISNEY SHOULD GIVE THEM ALL FREE BOOZE AND NOT KICK THEM OUT IF THE DO WIN THE WORLD CUP – The U.S. Women’s futball team will take on the Netherlands this Sunday in the final of the Women’s World Cup.  The U.S. team is ranked number one in the world but the Netherlands are the reigning European champions and are a tough challenge.  Good luck to the U.S. women’s team and hope they play a great game.  I assume Disneyland Paris will be on red alert if the U.S. wins and Alex Morgan shows up at the park.  (sbnation.com)

I NEVER KNEW HOT DOGS LED SUCH INTERESTING LIVES – If you ever wondered how hot dogs became so popular in America, the BBC (of all places) has you covered.  Read up on the story of the first hot dogs and how Feltman’s and Nathan’s in New York’s Coney Island were responsible for the rise of the hot dog in America.  God bless hot dogs.  God bless America.  (bbc.com)