Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/10/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

VIRGIN GALACTIC IS FINALLY MOVING IN TO SPACEPORT AMERICA NORTH OF LAS CRUCES.  AFTER MANY DELAYS, SPACEFLIGHTS WILL FINALLY LAUNCH OVER SOUTHERN NEW MEXICO!  – Virgin Galactic announced today that they will finally move their Virgin Galactic operations from California to Spaceport America.  The development of their launch craft and spacecraft is finally winding down and they are now comfortable enough to do their final tests at the Spaceport in anticipation of sending paying customers to suborbital space.  The move is expected to occur sometime in the Summer and will be a massive shot in the arm to Las Cruces’ economy and the surrounding region.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

BECAUSE WHAT THE PENDALE/I-10 AREA REALLY NEEDS IS A GIANT LIGHTED BOOT.  HEAVEN FORBID THEY BUILD SOMETHING NECESSARY THERE LIKE AN UNDERPASS TO FINALLY CONNECT NORTH AND SOUTH PENDALE UNDER THE FREEWAY – The City of El Paso will build a giant boot covered in lights near the Pendale/I-10 area as part of their Sun City Lights Project.  They should probably focus on getting txdot to get off their ass and finally create an underpass to connect the north and south sections of Pendale under I-10; but I guess the crippling traffic on Zaragoza, Lee Trevino and Loop 375 along I-10 isn’t really that bad.  But aside from that, a giant boot covered in lights would actually look pretty cool on the Eastside.  There’s no reason that Downtown and Central should have all the fun when it comes to outlandish El Paso freeway art projects.  (cbs4local.com)

IS THERE ANYTHING KHALID WON’T DO FOR THE COMMUNITY?  HE’S LIKE EL PASO’S SANTA CLAUS – Kudos to Khalid for starting the Great Khalid Foundation which will give out scholarships to students in the performing arts.  The foundation has hit the ground running by giving out three $10,000 scholarships to students in the Socorro Independent School District who are pursuing an education in the performing arts.  Hopefully the program expands to other school districts around the city and region so even more students can benefit from Khalid’s generosity.  Kudos, Khalid!  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

APPARENTLY JUAN GUAIDO’S PLAN TO TAKE CONTROL OF VENEZUELA INVOLVES WAITING UNTIL NICOLAS MADURO DIES OF OLD AGE – The CIA really knows how to pick them don’t they?  Despite the backing of most of the world and, let’s face it, brazenly obvious CIA help that stops just short of holding his hand and wiping his ass – Juan Guaido still can’t get enough support at home to lead the people in overthrowing Maduro.  In fact, dumbass Maduro has been so emboldened by the impotent Guaido rebellion that opposition figures are now being arrested and the government is cracking down on government officials that were following Guaido.  Hell, vice president of the National Assembly Edgar Zambrano was arrested along with his car – while he was still inside the car!  Obviously the car was the brains of the whole operation and was just using Guaido for his photogenic demeanor and pretty speeches.  (bbc.com)

HOORAY FOR POINTLESS SABRE-RATTLING!  DONALD TRUMP IS DEFINITELY NOT DISTRACTING US WHEN HE DOES STUPID ASS SHIT LIKE TRYING TO PICK A FIGHT WITH IRAN.  MAYBE THIS TIME THEY’LL SHOOT DOWN TWO COMMERCIAL PLANES AND THEN PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED – Because Donald Trump is a moron, the U.S. is now trying to start a war with Iran and is moving military equipment to the area.  Saudi Arabia is naturally over the moon and can’t believe that they got someone as stupid as Donald Trump to do their dirty work for them.  Of course this is all for show and even Donald Trump is not dumb enough to actually start a war with Iran.  But what’s the worst that can happen?  It’s not like innocent civilians can die from shameless sabre-rattling in this part of the world. coughIRANAIRFLIGHT655cough  (bbc.com)

DON’T FORGET MOTHER’S DAY THIS WEEKEND.  THE EL PASO ZOO IS CELEBRATING WITH ORANGUTANS! – Be sure to give thanks to the woman who raised you this weekend and be sure to also salute all the women who have raised great human beings and have done all they can to be great moms.  The El Paso Zoo will be using the holiday to raise awareness for the Missing Orangutan Mothers (M.O.M.) campaign and will have many events to bring attention to this cause.  Many orangutans are killed in the wild because of poaching and the encroachment of palm oil farms into their habitat and many orangutans end up orphans because of this needless destruction.  So let’s remember all the moms this weekend –including the orangutan and other animal mommies.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/03/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TAKE A SELFIE WITH COHEN STADIUM BEFORE IT’S BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS!  THAT’S A BIT MACABRE, NO? – The City of El Paso will be holding a Cohen Entertainment District information session next week where people will get to learn about the new project in Northeast El Paso while also getting a chance to say goodbye to the old stadium.  The event is scheduled for May 11 and will act as the kickoff event for the project before the stadium is torn down and construction begins sometime next Spring on the new development.  Hopefully they’ll keep a part of the stadium as a memorial or at least incorporate some of it into the new amphitheatre that’s planned for the project.  They’ll also have 25 cent hot dogs in memory of the wildly popular El Paso Diablos promotion, but sadly no 25 cent beers.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ZOEY SPINKS IS A KINDERGARTNER AT EASTWOOD HEIGHTS ELEMENTARY SCHOOL WHO, EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH CYSTIC FIBROSIS, FIGHTS ON TO RAISE AWARENESS ABOUT THE DISEASE AND HELPS THE COMMUNITY IN ANY WAY SHE CAN.  IT IS HUMBLING TO SEE A KINDERGARTNER DO MORE FOR SOCIETY THAN YOUR AVERAGE ADULT – The YISD Board of Trustees has given the YISD President’s Award to Eastwood Heights student Zoey Spinks.  Although she is just a kindergartner, she has risen above her cystic fibrosis diagnosis to become a spokesperson for the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation of El Paso as well as spearheading a long list of community service initiatives throughout the city.  Kudos, Zoey Spinks.  You make me look like trash in comparison and make me want to do more for the community other than write smart ass comments on a delightful website.  Seriously, she makes the entire staff of Simple Minded Entertainment look like trash in comparison.  Well, trashier than normal.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

PRO – THE BORDER WEST EXPRESSWAY IS ALMOST COMPLETE; CON – TXDOT IS INVOLVED SO THE NEW ROAD CONFIGURATIONS PROMISE TO BE MASSIVE CLUSTERFUCKS – It’s almost here!  The Border West Expressway project is scheduled to be complete by the end of the summer and Loop 375 will finally be a real ‘loop’ with continuous traffic circulating around the city.  Although this will hopefully alleviate traffic, especially the choke points on I-10 near Downtown and the Westside, the expected road closures and new on/off ramp arrangements might create new traffic issues around the area.  Regardless, the massive project that cost hundreds of millions of dollars is almost complete and it promises to change transportation on the Westside and Downtown substantially – hopefully for the better.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

MEANWHILE IN THE CONGO, MORE EBOLA AND NOW MEASLES! – The death toll in the Democratic Republic of Congo due to the Ebola outbreak has now surpassed 1,000 people.  Due to continuing conflict in the northeastern portion of the country, there seems to be no end in sight to this pandemic and now the country also has to deal with an outbreak of measles.  Medical personnel find it hard to fight diseases here because the local population does not trust medical professionals and warring factions have gone so far as to attack clinics and medical professionals who are trying their best to stop the diseases.  While the chance of this disaster going global is very slim, it does appear that this will go on for a while and will eventually hit neighboring countries.  I feel bad for the person that gets Ebola AND measles AND then gets shot during the civil war.  Now that’s unlucky, even by Congo standards.  (bbc.com)

AND NOW WE GOT A MASSIVE CYCLONE HITTING INDIA’S EAST COAST.  THOSE DAMN WHIRLY STORMS ARE EVERYWHERE NOW! – Although cyclones on the Indian subcontinent are fairly common, storms as strong as Cyclone Fani are pretty rare.  The storm has already made landfall in Puri, India and is now moving in a northeasterly route.  First the major storms hit Africa and now India is getting a taste of those spinning masses of nature’s rage that go by different names depending on where you are and who you ask.  The major impact of this storm will be felt in the Orissa region of India – that has already been evacuated of over 1 million residents.  In addition, heavy rains are expected in the northeastern portion of the country and in Bangladesh – which are places not exactly known for flood prevention infrastructure.  Take care and hunker down, Orissa.  (bbc.com)

REST IN PEACE, ORIGINAL CHEWBACCA.  REST IN PEACE, PETER MAYHEW – Sadness has spread around the galaxy as Peter Mayhew, the original Chewbacca, passed away earlier this week at the age of 74.  From Wookies to Ewoks to Jar JarBinks to Jabba TheHutts; all alien species mourn the loss of the beloved Chewbacca.  Peter Mayhew stood a towering 7’3” and that was the main reason he got the role of Chewbacca starting with the original Star Wars.  But over time he made the role his own and was always there for his fans and was a permanent fixture on the convention circuit.  He had other roles, but he will always be known as Chewbacca.  Rest in peace, gentle giant of the stars.  (deadline.com)