Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/15/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AT LEAST SOMETHING USEFUL IS BEING BUILT WITH THE “BORDER SECURITY” MONEY THAT DONALD TRUMP WAS BITCHING AND MOANING ABOUT – As part of the billions of dollars that were approved by Congress for border security, a large detention center will be built in El Paso to house refugee families while they are processed for asylum.  The now empty Hoover plant in West El Paso will be converted for this purpose starting in the spring but there is still no word on whether the $190 million earmarked for this project will be used at the proposed Hoover location or if another purpose built center will be constructed at a yet to be named location.  Kudos to Congresswoman Veronica Escobar for managing to snag a massive $100+ million plus project for El Paso amidst the border security melee – aka Trump Wall Temper Tantrum.  As a bonus, this construction project will actually serve a purpose and make the system more efficient, unlike the useless border wall project that is just an egotistical boondoggle.  (cbs4local.com)

WHO KNEW MEERKATS WOULD MAKE SUCH GOOD ACCOMPLICES FOR VALENTINE’S DAY REVENGE? – The El Paso Zoo had a great promotion this Valentine’s Day where they would name a cockroach after your ex and then feed it to one of their meerkats.  The ‘Quit Bugging Me’ event was a great success that attracted international media attention, had online submissions from all over the world and raised money for zoo exhibits.  The meerkats get to eat cockroaches as a treat anyway, so might as well make a neat little promotion out of it.  Kudos to the El Paso Zoo for coming up with a great promotional event and to the meerkats for being so adorable.  Now if you’ll excuse me I will go and mourn for the brave little cockroach that was named after me.  (cbs4local.com)

LOOK AT THOMASON HOSPITAL BEING ALL INNOVATIVE AND FANCY.  GOOD SHOW, THOMASON HOSPITAL – A brand new surgical procedure was recently performed at UMC in order to help a patient suffering from stomach cancer.  The surgical procedure was led by Dr. Mendoza-Ladd and helped a patient who couldn’t eat because of a blockage in his digestive tract.  The “endoscopic jejunostomy” operation creates a new hole in the stomach which is then connected to the small intestine thus bypassing the blockage.  This is only the second time this operation has been completed in Texas and offers incredible relief to people who are suffering from similar conditions.  Kudos, Thomason Hospital.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

KEEP ON EYE ON 5G NETWORKS IN THE FUTURE.  FOR THE UNITED STATES TO ATTACK HUAWEI LIKE THAT, IT CAN ONLY MEAN THAT ALL GOVERNMENTS ARE PLANNING TO USE THE NETWORK FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES IN THE FUTURE – European mobile networks are the latest group to raise the alarm over 5G security and as it is set to roll out strong in the coming years, this is a major issue that more people should be paying attention too.  The first sign that this is much bigger than just a simple cell service upgrade came when the United States government went after Huawei because it is one of the largest equipment suppliers for the 5G network.  Although it looks like a case of corporate protectionism at first glance, one has to wonder if the U.S. government is just projecting its own motives on Huawei and wants them out of the picture because everything they are accusing them of is exactly what they want to do.  At this point, any country worth its salt should be looking at creating their own networks with their own home grown suppliers.  Because if 5G is going to be a vital part of the future infrastructure involving the internet of things and self-driving car networks, it’s best that neutral countries don’t depend too much on China or the USA.  (bbc.com)

IN THE FUTURE, EL PASO’S CLIMATE WILL BE LIKE ARIZONA AND ARIZONA WILL JUST BECOME AN OVEN AND EXPLODE – A massive study published in Nature Communications shows how the climate in the major cities in America will change in 60 years if nothing is done to stop climate change.  The hard working researchers even created a web program that lets you choose a city and then gives you a forecast for which current city the climate will likely emulate in 60 years.  In El Paso and Las Cruces’ case, the climate in 60 years will most likely resemble Phoenix – so it will be slightly warmer and drier and a lot more racist (Arizona redneck joke!).  So unless we get our act together, we’re going to get a bit hotter in the future.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

DONALD TRUMP CONTINUES TO BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – Fresh off the heels of his bullshit-filled racist monologue in El Paso on Monday night, Donald Trump decided the best way to build a stupid fucking wall is to declare a fake national emergency in order to steal taxpayer money.  So like a good little fascist he is trying to go around the checks and balances of the Constitution because congress doesn’t agree with his stupid ideas and doesn’t want to give him an ungodly amount for a stupid wall.  This will naturally go to the courts and we will have to see if certain “compromised” individuals on the Supreme Court follow their master’s bidding or show some backbone and protect the integrity of the nation.  Of note is that Donald Trump literally said that he didn’t have to do this and could wait to get the funding but wanted to see if he could abuse his power and get the money faster; thus negating any claim he has that there is an actual emergency on the border.  Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/08/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ON MONDAY, FEBRUARY 11 BETO O’ROURKE WILL LEAD THE EL PASO COMMUNITY ON A MARCH TO CELEBRATE THE PEACE AND UNITY OF THE PASO DEL NORTE REGION.  ALSO ON THAT DAY, A VILE RACIST OLD MAN WILL SPEW LIES AND HORSESHIT ON A STAGE IN THE EL PASO COUNTY COLISEUM – Multiple El Paso-area organizations will be uniting on Monday to march from Bowie High School to Chalio Acosta Park where they will be led by Beto O’Rourke in a celebration of unity at the border.  The March For Truth will take place at around 6 PM and will run counter to Donald Trump’s glorified klan rally in the coliseum.  So let’s all attend the March For Truth and keep the coliseum empty for the fascist’s vile rhetoric.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE LAS CRUCES INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL IS ALMOST UPON US.  START STOCKING UP ON CHILE AND BOOZE – One of the coolest regional arts events is the Las Cruces International Film Festival.  The event is less than two weeks away and the lineup and special guests are as great as ever.  This year the event features film events with Edward James Olmos and George Lopez, so start preparing your Battlestar Galactica questions now.  Get your tickets now and get ready for the Las Cruces International Film Festival!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EL PASO NEEDS ANOTHER CHURCH AS MUCH AS IT NEEDS ANOTHER BAR.  BECAUSE LORD KNOWS EL PASO DOESN’T HAVE ENOUGH BARS AND CHURCHES – It seems like every day a new random bar or church opens up somewhere in El Paso.  But now a popular church has replaced a popular club to some hilarious reactions online.  Abundant Living Faith Center (El Paso’s own tribute to Joel Osteen without the closeted homosexuality) has purchased over the building that once housed the popular Tricky Falls nightclub on El Paso Street.  The reaction online has been hilarious and some crazy people online had some real choice words for ALFC after they announced the deal.  In ALFC’s defense, the prick owner of the building kicked Tricky Falls out a few months back and the building was simply sold to the highest bidder.  But it is a bit of a downer that a popular performance space that offered something unique in the city will now be replaced by something that is available in practically every block in the city.  But hey, a fancy church will add some diversity to Downtown’s business lineup and since the building now has an owner/tenant it will finally get a full blown renovation.  But still, it stings.  Rest in Peace, Tricky Falls.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHEN BILLIONAIRES FIGHT EACH OTHER TO THE DEATH, WE ALL WIN – According to Jeff Bezos (the guy who conned humanity into giving him billions of dollars for a business model that barely turns a profit), the National Enquirer is trying to blackmail him via dick pics because of his ownership of the Washington Post and his fights against the powers that be.  Whether completely true or not, the last person you want to blackmail is a fucker with billions of dollars and not just “pretend billions”.  What makes this more intriguing, however, is the insinuation that certain people in power (coughTRUMPcough) and his cronies used their position to get dirt on Jeff Bezos and feed it to the National Enquirer.  Given the fact that the garbage enquirer’s owner has his mouth around Donald Trump’s dick and that the organization has been found to work with the idiot in the past, it’s not too far-fetched to believe that Donald Trump and friends have been using the government to try and attack Jeff Bezos.  Turns out that billionaires are just as petty and trashy as everyone else.  (bbc.com)

MEANWHILE IN BRITAIN, THE UK EXPRESS HAS LOST ITS BRAKES AS IT CAREENS TO THE EDGE OF THE CLIFF KNOWN AS NO DEAL BREXIT – Even though Britain has no leverage whatsoever, Theresa May continues to ask for concessions from the European Union for her stupid Brexit plan.  The EU is, obviously, just laughing when she gives her demands but you have to admire her blind devotion to a stupid cause.  The main issue continues to be the Northern Ireland border backstop but it is highly unlikely that the European Union will let the UK have their cake and eat it too by letting them leave the EU but still give them special treatment with freedom of movement.  I guess that grand plan of having the UK leave the EU yet still having freedom of movement and business for UK residents only didn’t work out.  Who would’ve thought?  (bbc.com)

SCIENTISTS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT FISH AND HONEY BEES ARE SMARTER THAN DONALD TRUMP.  THAT IS NOT SURPRISING AT ALL – New scientific research has discovered that fish can recognize themselves in a mirror and that honey bees can do basic math.  So these animals are self aware, can do basic math and would more than likely not lie after being presented with facts and data.  Hell, it seems like most fish and bees are infinitely more qualified to be in the White House than most of the current inhabitants.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 02/01/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER WHAT SEEMS LIKE DECADES, THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS BEGINNING TO BE MORE TRANSPARENT WITH ITS HISTORY OF CHILD ABUSE AND THE EL PASO DIOCESE IS COMING TO TERMS WITH ITS PAST SINS – In conjunction with all the Catholic Diocese in Texas, the El Paso Diocese has recently released a list of all the priests who ever served in the El Paso Diocese who had credible accusations of child molestation brought against them.  Although the percentage of abuse was lower than the national average and the last recorded case came in 1999, it is still disheartening to see that people that were placed to help the community could cause so much harm.  This is merely one of the first steps as the Catholic Church in El Paso seeks to heal from this unfortunate part of its history.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

PLEASE WELCOME THE ADORABLE DEJA THE BABY SIAMANG TO THE EL PASO ZOO – Deja the siamang has arrived from the Pittsburgh Zoo as the adorable ape searches for foster parents.  Siamangs are in the gibbon family which is part of the larger ape family that includes the more recognizable gorillas and chimpanzees.  Deja is coming to the El Paso Zoo after her mother sadly rejected her at birth and is being hand raised until she is introduced to her surrogate siamang family here at the zoo.  The hope is that the El Paso Zoo’s resident siamangs, Suni and Adinda, will accept her and that she will become part of their family unit.  Deja is only 5 months old and visitors will be able to see her during special sessions where the zoo staff will show how they are taking care of her.  Kudos to the El Paso Zoo for doing their part in protecting endangered species.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

APPARENTLY THE CONCEPT OF PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY IS TOO HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND.  I GUESS “PUBLIC” AND “PERSONAL PROPERTY” ARE EASILY CONFUSED BY SOME – Once again, the people with homes around UTEP and Kern Place are bitching and complaining because they think that the sidewalk in front of their houses belongs to them and that the street in front of their house is their own personal parking space.  First they bitched and moaned about UTEP students and now they are complaining about hospital visitors and staff.  It’s been said before, but we shall try to explain the concept of public right of way once more to these obviously confused people.  The personal property line of all houses ends where the sidewalk or parkway begins.  The sidewalk, parkway and street are all part of the PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY and belong to everyone in the public.  Anyone in the public has as much of a right to walk and park in front of a house as anyone else.  IT IS NOT THE HOMEOWNER’S PERSONAL PARKING SPACE!  IT’S PUBLIC FUCKING RIGHT OF WAY!  Read the damn city code or any civil code to understand this basic universal concept.  And if all else fails the residents in these areas can go ahead and lease the space from the city at a fair market rate for their personal parking or create one of those stupid parking districts that the city made up to make the whiny crybabies shut the fuck up.  And shame on the local media for referring to this issue as a “residential parking problem”.  There’s no such thing as fucking “residential parking”, public right of way belongs to EVERYONE.  Please stop pandering to these crybabies.  If they don’t like a dense urban environment they can move to Montana Vista and have all the on-street public parking that their hearts’ desire.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

YUP, THAT’S WHAT YOU CALL COLD – A phenomenon known as a polar vortex has brought crippling cold to a good portion of the central and eastern United States.  The temperature went down to minus 49 degrees Celsius (minus 56 degrees Fahrenheit) in some parts of the country with a wind chill close to negative one meeleeon beeleeon degrees.  So yeah, it was a smidge cold in the Midwest this week.  And of course, there were idiots – including Donald Trump – using this as “proof” that global warming/climate change doesn’t exist even though this is an example of weather and not climate.  In fact, most climate change forecasts show that extreme weather phenomenon will increase in a rapidly warming world and that events like polar vortex explosions will become more common in the future.  And just for the record, Australia just experienced their warmest January on record.  So it is really, really hot in some parts of the world right now.  (reuters.com)

DEATH BY TOXIC SLUDGE LANDSLIDE MONSTER IS AS SCARY AS IT SOUNDS – Video footage has just been released of last week’s dam burst/toxic sludge flood in Brumadinho, Brazil and it’s as surreal and frightening as imagined.  Although not super fast, it moves across the land devouring everything in its path with a brisk yet relaxed paced.  The mass of water, mud and toxic sludge is massive and one can only imagine the shock that was going on in the minds of the drivers of the vehicles – seen in the video – that were racing to get out of the way.  As of last count, the disaster had taken 110 lives with over 200 people still missing.  Authorities are still investigating, but it is believed that liquefaction of the dam was the cause of the collapse and that it is similar to previous dam collapses seen in other mines in Brazil.  Multiple people have been arrested for safety violations and Vale SA – the owner of the mine and the retention pond and dam – will probably face more consequences over their lack of safety preparation.  (bbc.com)

MEANWHILE IN VENEZUELA, MADURO IS STILL HOLDING ON TO POWER AND THE SHIT SHOW IS GROWING – Say what you want about dumbass Maduro, but he’s pretty good at holding on to power.  Despite all the hemming and hawing by the global community over the opposition and Juan Guaido, Nicolas Maduro still has the military in his back pocket and is no closer to stepping down as he was before this whole mess started.  And now we wait to see what the next move is in this “spontaneous” rebellion that is in no way being propped up by the CIA and their ilk.  Because we all know the CIA and friends have NEVER EVER done anything like this in Central America and elsewhere in the world.  (bbc.com)