Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/11/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

UTEP HAS BEEN DECLARED A TOP TIER RESEARCH UNIVERSITY!  HOORAY!!  MAYBE THEY CAN RESEARCH HOW TO HAVE A DECENT FOOTBALL TEAM. ZING! – Congratulations to UTEP for attaining a R1 designation in the Carnegie Classification of Institutions of Higher Education.  The designation is only attained by the top tier of universities that make up the top 4.5% of the nation’s schools.  Kudos to UTEP for focusing on the important things in college like education and learning and not blowing all their money on sports and other random nonsense.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE TORNILLO DETENTION CENTER/INTERNMENT CAMP IS FINALLY CLOSING.  GOOD RIDDANCE AND NOW WE HOPE THAT THE MORON’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS POLITICAL STUNT FOLLOW THE CAMP’S LEAD AND SIMPLY DISAPPEAR – According to U.S. Representative Will Hurd, the migrant youth detention center/internment camp/disgusting political showcase is finally closing and being removed from Tornillo.  Ever since Donald Trump decided to attack migrant children, the center was used to house unaccompanied minors waiting to be reunified with family in the country.  Most of these kids will now go to more stable shelters throughout the country that normally handle these situations and will soon be reunited with their families as they await their day in court.  And the disastrous Tornillo Camp is just another example of the shitshow that Donald Trump creates when he tries to fix things with new ideas that are infinitely worse than what is currently being done.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PAXTON IS EITHER A FUCKING MORON OR A RACIST SACK OF SHIT WHO PULLS FAKE STATISTICS OUT OF HIS ASS IN ORDER TO APPEASE HIS MASTER DONALD TRUMP – In a brazen attack on El Paso and its people, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton made the amazingly ignorant statement that the border wall in El Paso helped lower crime in a once “lawless” city.  The truth is that no statistics back that claim up and some stats even show the opposite happening with crime rising slightly in the years after the wall went up about a decade ago.  To make up shit and say that El Paso was a violent place before the idiotic border wall went up is just a vile lie that is laced with racism and sycophantic love for Donald Trump.  Just look at the stats!  There are no statistics that show that crime was high before the wall.  Hell, crime has been down since the 1980s and has remained at the lowest levels in the state since then.  Even the local media – which normally supports stupid conservative talking points and bends the knee to their conservative corporate masters – went out of their way to fact check this dumbass fucker.  When KFOX and the El Paso Times take time off from their busy schedule of spouting right wing idiocy to correct you, you know that the comment was utter bullshit.  In closing, fuck off Ken Paxton.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WE ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE END OF ONE OF THE DUMBEST CONFLICTS IN A WORLD FILLED WITH DUMB CONFLICTS – After decades of fighting between the Greek region and the new nation over the right to use “Macedonia”, it looks like the conflict between the areas with the same name will finally be resolved.  Macedonia’s parliament (the country, not the region) has narrowly approved a constitutional amendment by the necessary 2/3 majority to rename itself as the Republic of North Macedonia.  The Greek parliament still has to approve the deal that was proposed by Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and his Macedonian – correction, North Macedonian – counterpart Zoran Zaev.  People on both sides are still bitching and complaining over the name and taking things to scary levels, but overall it looks like it will all be approved and this 27 year long pissing match over a name will finally end.  This will hopefully end Greece’s decades long cock block of “North Macedonia” and they will finally be able to join NATO and the EU.  Crazy people on both sides with nothing better to do will still debate random things like the actual birthplace of Alexander the Great.  But as long as they don’t kill each other or hurt each other physically this compromise will be considered a great success.  Zeno The Fox would be proud.  (bbc.com)

SOMETIMES TWITTER CAN BE A VALUABLE TOOL AND USED FOR POSITIVE CHANGE AND TO SAVE LIVES.  BUT THE OTHER 99% OF THE TIME IT’S JUST AN OUTLET FOR VILE RACISTS TO SAY HORRIBLE THINGS – Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun is the 18-year old Saudi girl that made international headlines this week after escaping her family while in Kuwait and then being trapped in Thailand while attempting to get to Australia in an asylum bid.  Her desperate cries for help via Twitter, while trapped in a Bangkok airport hotel room, attracted so much attention that multiple governments got involved to help her leave Thailand and seek asylum.  In a matter of days she went from having only 24 followers to thousands of followers that all helped her get her message out to the world.  For an excellent summary, check out the BBC’s excellent timeline of events that follows her entire ordeal from the first tweet to the tense moments where it looked like authorities in Thailand would send her back to her family and a possible death sentence for renouncing Islam.  Truly riveting stuff.  If it weren’t for Twitter, she would probably be dead – so who says Twitter can’t be used for the forces of good?  (bbc.com)

WHEN DOGS LEARN TO USE GUNS THEY WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE KILLING MACHINE AND WILL RULE THE WORLD.  OUR TIME IS UP! –In an absurdly tragic story out of Mississippi, a former LSU football player was shot in the leg by his dog and had to have the wounded leg amputated.  Although it sounds like a crazy drunk hunting story, it does appear that his dog accidentally shot him.  According to his friends, Matt Branch left his loaded shotgun on the bed of his truck when Tito the dog jumped in the truck and accidentally stepped on the trigger causing the gun to fire through the side of the truck and hitting his leg.  No word if Tito has already been questioned by police.  On a side note, check out the over-the-top graphic which might have been created by the KDBC graphic department on a bender – a foreboding LSU logo looks on as a shadowy picture of a man hunting with his dog fills the screen.  It’s practically the promo image to a cheesy Netflix show.  Even a caricature of a dog shooting a guy with a machine gun would have been less melodramatic.  (cbs4local.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/04/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EL PASO COUNTY WILL ONCE MORE ATTEMPT TO MAKE THE MISSION TRAIL INTO A SOMEWHAT COHESIVE TRAVEL ZONE.  THIS INVOLVES GETTING SOCORRO, SAN ELIZARIO AND EL PASO TO WORK TOGETHER; SO EL PASO COUNTY BASICALLY WANTS TO GET INTO THE CAT HERDING BUSINESS – The existing Missions in Ysleta, Socorro and San Elizario are some of the oldest in North America that are still standing and are cultural treasures.  El Paso County is once more attempting to make the Mission Trail a legitimate unified travel area that is properly maintained and has a consistent look and feel.  This time it looks like the County legitimately wants this to happen and has hired independent planners and consultants to work with all the local interest holders to get this done properly.  Although it would be nice to see a unified trail go from Ysleta to San Elizario, it would be much better if the TRUE Mission Trail was honored by including the Mission Guadalupe in downtown Juarez as the starting point and then have the trail pass through the Bronco Swap Meet area where the Senecu Mission once likely stood.  Come on, let’s make this a truly international and accurate Mission Trail.  (elpasoinc.com)

THE LAS CRUCES CITY GOVERNMENT ISN’T MESSING AROUND, THEY STARTED THE NEW YEAR OUT WITH A TOP TEN LIST OF PROJECTS THEY WANT TO GET DONE FOR 2019 AND THEY’RE STARTING ON THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  WAY TO SHOW SOME INITIATIVE, LAS CRUCES! – The city leaders of Las Cruces have chosen the top 10 projects that they will be focusing on this year and they aim to get them started and/or completed by the end of the year.  Among the projects on the list are improvements to public safety and infrastructure; but the most ambitious are improvements to the Las Cruces Airport and the construction of a parking garage in Downtown Las Cruces.  The parking garage will serve to accommodate the extra traffic that is coming to the now booming Downtown area and will hopefully encourage even more development in the heart of the city.  Though the project won’t be completed for a few years, the city hopes to get the ball rolling on this multi-million dollar project this year.  Kudos, Las Cruces.  (cbs4local.com)

THE HUMANE SOCIETY OF EL PASO HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT INCOMPETENT, SO IT’S NO SURPRISE THAT THEY MANAGED TO HIRE THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON AS DIRECTOR – Anyone who has ever dealt with the Humane Society of El Paso has left scratching their head as to how such a poorly run unit can continue existing without any major changes.  Their main job is to take in animals but somehow they never have enough space and it seems they waste money on other things not related to their main goal of taking in animals.  Naturally, the non-profit decided to outdo themselves in 2018 by hiring a fancy pants out-of-towner to be director that turned out to be a mightily sketchy individual.  Director Luke Westerman was so sketchy that he was indicted last month for theft and securities violations that occurred during his time working in Wall Street.  Wall Street is a skeevy cesspool of white collar corruption and borderline fraud – you really have to be slimey to get charged with something while working in Wall Street.  So now there is an arrest warrant out for the director of El Paso’s Humane Society and you just know they are STILL going to look for a fancy pants out-of-towner to take over because apparently no one in El Paso is capable of running an animal shelter poorly.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

NOW GERMANY IS GETTING ATTACKED VIA WIDE SCALE POLITICAL HACKING.  GEE, I WONDER WHO IS BEHIND THE HACKS? – A large scale data dump has occurred in Germany where personal info on multiple politicians and public figures has been posted on Twitter.  Though it is believed that no government computers were attacked for the info, it appears that the data has been harvested for years from various email and social media accounts.  All political parties (except for – SHOCK – the far-right Alternative for Germany) were affected by the data dump and authorities believe that foreign hackers were responsible.  What right wing, borderline fascist country has been hacking others for years in an attempt to undermine western governments and try to pathetically recapture their glory years as a global power?  What country could have been involved?  The world may never know, but we’ll ask Vladimir Putin if he has any ideas.  (apnews.com)

PINK FLOYD SHOULD NOW DO A REMAKE OF THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON IN CHINESE – Congratulations go out to China for being the first country to land a spacecraft on the far side of the Moon.  The Chang’e-4 craft and rover landed this week and the rover successfully went out to the surface of the Moon and sent back pictures.  The mission will do some geological studies on the Moon, but like most space missions the core of the project was for bragging rights.  Maybe this will start another space race and we can properly go back to the moon and look beyond to asteroids and other planets for future experiments and possible colonization trips.  We are truly fucked if we have to rely on Elon Musk and his fleet of kid-size submarines to get us to Mars and beyond.  (bbc.com)

CALLING TRUMP A MOTHERFUCKER IS A BIT OF A LOW BLOW.  WITH ALL DO RESPECT, HE’S MORE OF A DAUGHTERFUCKER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER – The government is still in shutdown mode and Donald Trump is willing to keep this going for years if he doesn’t get his stupid, racist wall.  That smug fucker doesn’t care if people go without a paycheck or suffer from unpaid bills because he is a pampered toddler who has never suffered a day in his life.  And through all of this, the dumbass and his Republican cronies were angered when Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib said, “We’re going to impeach this motherfucker!”.  Donald Trump has uttered offensive diatribes and racist comments for years and NOW he’s offended.  Joke’s on him though.  It doesn’t matter how long he shuts down the government, that won’t stop Mueller’s investigation and his inevitable impeachment.  (apnews.com / bbc.com)