Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/25/2019


THE CITY OF EL PASO IS REALLY PUSHING TO IMPROVE THE NORTHEAST.  YOU CAN’T SAY THEY AREN’T TRYING – Northeast El Paso has unfairly had a negative stigma for a long time.  But the city government and investors are really trying hard to improve the image and economic potential of Northeast El Paso.  From Paul Foster’s planned super development to the mixed-use plans for the Northpark Mall lot to the planned renovation of the Cohen Stadium zone; it’s looking like Northeast El Paso will finally get some love in the future.  And the city is even holding a city council meeting in Northeast El Paso to try and engage with the people in the area and get some feedback on these future plans.  You can’t say the city isn’t trying to make Northeast El Paso better.  (

IT’S CHILE FEST TIME AT NMSU!!!! – It’s that time of the year again.  New Mexico State is holding their annual New Mexico Chile Conference February 4 – 5.  As always,, the 2019 conference will be hosted by New Mexico State’s Chile Pepper Institute and registration is now open for the public.  NMSU is one of the top agricultural universities in the world and is one of the world’s top organizations for chile pepper research.  So if you love chile and all things chile-related, then be sure to check out the presentations, booths and more at 2019 CHILE FEST!!!!!   You must pay for the whole seat, BUT YOU’LL ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!!!! (

AS LONG AS RED T. HAWK DOESN’T USURP OUR BELOVED AMIGO MAN, I WELCOME HER WITH OPEN ARMS – El Paso International Airport has a new mascot; a tough, ex-fighter pilot Red Tailed Hawk that will encourage girls and boys to pursue science related fields.  Coincidentally her name just happens to be Red T. Hawk and, like her brethren, is a native to the region.  This mascot looks pretty cool and we welcome her into the pantheon of El Paso area mascots that include Amigo Man, Paydirt Pete, Bowie High Bear, El Paso High Tiger, Austin High Panther and Kiki La Kobra.  We hope this is the start of an amazing trend where every random organization and government department starts getting mascots until we are flooded by large, cute and cuddly spokespersons like in Japan.  Also of note is that Red T. Hawk is female and brings some much needed estrogen into the male-heavy mascot realm.  God speed, Red T. Hawk.  (


VENEZUELA HAS UPPED THE ANTE ON ITS CURRENT CRISIS AND NOW WE ARE ON THE BRINK OF A CIVIL WAR.  NICOLAS MADURO IS NOT VERY GOOD AT LEADERSHIP – It was bound to happen and now Maduro has pissed off so many of his country’s citizens that protests have grown to such a level that a new leader has emerged to unite the opposition and claim to be the “real president”.  In fact, opposition leader Juan Guaido has become so popular that foreign governments, including the United States, have gone so far and acknowledged him as de facto ruler according to the tea leaves that are currently being used as a constitution in Venezuela.  Maduro still has the backing of the military and certain countries with veto power and “mercenary” capabilities – so this is far from over.  But as it stands, a civil war might just erupt in this most unstable of regions.  Maybe Maduro can come up with another farcical election and dig up the corpse of Hugo Chavez to save him from his self-made mess.  (

THE HIGHEST QUALITY PICTURES OF ULTIMA THULE HAVE ARRIVED AND IT STILL LOOKS LIKE A SNOWMAN – The New Horizons spacecraft has been transmitting data since it passed Ultima Thule on the outer edges of the Solar System back on New Year’s Day.  And now scientists have the most detailed picture ever of the unique Kuiper Belt dual orb.  As expected, the object still looks like a snowman missing its face.  Though we only have one side of the object, so it’s still possible the other side features a delightful face made of random objects and a carrot nose.  So if you are a snow man aficionado and are ever in the Kuiper Belt region of the Solar System, be sure and visit Ultima Thule the Snowman.  (

DONALD TRUMP BLINKED AND NOW THE MCCONNELL/TRUMP SHUTDOWN IS OVER AND HE STILL DOESN’T HAVE HIS WORTHLESS FUCKING WALL.  LET’S SEE IF HE HAS ANOTHER TODDLER TANTRUM WITH NANCY PELOSI AND STARTS ANOTHER SHUTDOWN WITH EVEN LESS LEVERAGE AS BEFORE – It happened, Donald Trump finally gave in to public pressure and the Democrats stood their ground and prevented the idiot in the White House from using threats to hijack the legislative branch.  Donald Trump (with tail between his legs) opened up the government after more than a month by signing off on temporary funding to re-open the government for at least another 3 weeks.  Though, it should be noted, he has kept on making his bullshit immigrant propaganda and threatening to shutdown the government again if he doesn’t get his stupid wall.  Donald Trump has even less leverage now and his remarks from the past few days show that he is still taking responsibility for any future shutdowns or borderline dictatorial national emergency declarations.  The wall is a stupid waste of money and it’s good to see the Democrats – and some Republicans – stand up to the use of a shutdown as a bargaining tool to force things on the legislative branch of the government.   Let’s see if idiot Trump is willing to start the McConnell/Trump Shutdown:  Part 2.  (

Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – 01/18/2019


MAYBE IT’S ABOUT TIME THE EL PASO COUNTY SHERIFF’S OFFICE STARTS CRACKING DOWN ON IDIOTS WHO LET THEIR OVERGROWN DOGS RUN AROUND IN THE STREET IN THE LOWER VALLEY – The Licon Dairy petting zoo has reopened, but it was a somber scene after the vicious dog attack that left many animals dead earlier this week.  The Licon Dairy is well known for its amazing asadero cheeses and also for the petting zoo that is located at their farm/store in San Elizario.  The generally tranquil life of the farm animals was shattered when two large dogs entered the Licon Dairy farm and attacked and killed 10 animals including goats, sheep, llamas and a swan.  Idiots in San Elizario and the rest of the Lower Vahlley have been letting their large dogs loose on the street for years and it’s about time that the authorities cracked down on these irresponsible morons.  It’s sort of funny, if not stupid, when people let small dogs like Chihuahuas or terriers out in the street.  But it is completely despicable and abhorrent when dumbasses let large dogs like German Shepherds and pit bulls out in the street.  This time it was poor, defenseless animals in a petting zoo but next time it could be a small child that is killed by dogs.  Let’s hope the authorities finally do something to stop the idiots in San Elizario who don’t give a damn about proper dog ownership.  And please support the Licon Dairy by visiting their reopened shop and petting zoo, and don’t forget to buy some asaderos while you are there.  (

GOODBYE, SANDMAN – A beloved local artist passed away this week, but his art and legacy will live on in the hearts and minds of all who enjoyed his work.  Alberto “Sandman” Avila is best known as the man behind most of the sand art on the sidewalks and medians throughout El Paso.  You might not have known his name, but if you have ever seen the random sand pictures on the sidewalks while driving around the city then you are familiar with his work.  And if you ever saw a man shaping piles of sand with a broom on one of the medians in the city, then you just happened to see the Sandman in his prime at work.  He lost his battle with cancer but he will always be remembered in the city by those that appreciate art and free expression.  Rest in peace, Sandman.  (

DID YOU KNOW EL PASO HAS PRODUCED SAINTS?  THANKS TO THE EL PASO HERALD POST NOW I KNOW THE STORY OF SAINT PEDRO DE JESUS MALDONADO LUCERO – The often overlooked history of El Paso and the Greater Mogollon region is very interesting and we can always count on the El Paso Herald Post and Steven Cottingham for great stories.  Saint Pedro De Jesus Maldonado Lucero – or Saint Peter Of Jesus Maldonado for short – was born in Chihuahua in 1892 and made his way to El Paso during the Mexican Revolution to finish his studies to become a priest.  He worked as a priest in El Paso and throughout Mexico and used the city as his base during times of religious persecution in Mexico.  He was ultimately tortured and killed by authorities in Chihuahua after one of his missionary trips into Mexico from El Paso and he was remembered as a martyr.  He was ultimately canonized by Pope John Paul II and is considered the patron saint of the Diocese of El Paso among other honors.  Kudos, El Paso Herald Post, for making history come alive.  (


EVEN BY BREXIT STANDARDS, THAT WAS ONE HELL OF A HUMILIATING DEFEAT FOR THERESA MAY AND THE IDIOTS THAT THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA FOR BRITAIN TO LEAVE THE EUROPEAN UNION AND SHRINK THEIR ECONOMY AND INTERNATIONAL BARGAINING POWER – Prime Minister Theresa May has been tasked with delivering a clean break for Britain from the European Union once the Brexit deadline is reached in March.  Unfortunately, Britain has no real bargaining power and their demand that they get all of the benefits of being in the European Union without actually having to play by the European rules is laughable at best.  Seriously, that’s the plan that the idiots who wanted Brexit want from Europe – as if Europe would just give them all of that for no apparent reason.  Naturally, the deal that Theresa May was able to negotiate sort of sucks ass and parliament voted it down by a stunning 432 votes to 202.  So now Britain finds itself staring down the barrel of a no-deal Brexit by the March deadline that will see Britain out of the European Union with no benefits and having to get in line with all the other countries in the world to set up trade deals and treaties with the EU.  So now Britain finds itself bracing for a no-deal Brexit and hoping that Theresa May can get some concessions from the EU on a new deal even though she has no leverage whatsoever.  They can also ask for another referendum and hope that this time the intelligent people in Britain vote to stay in the EU and that stupid, xenophobic dumbasses stay home and don’t get involved with shit that they don’t understand.  (

AT LEAST THE PEOPLE OF DR CONGO DIDN’T VOTE FOR EBOLA AS PRESIDENT.  THOUGH EBOLA WOULD PROBABLY BE A BETTER LEADER THAN ALL THE OTHER PEOPLE THAT HAVE RUN THE COUNTRY INTO THE GROUND – Despite the conflicts, Ebola and general corruption; Democratic Republic of Congo had its first democratic elections in a long time last week (with obvious controversial results).  The winner of the election was Felix Tshisekedi who won with only 38.5% and who is being accused by his closest rival for election fraud.  The allegations are not entirely unwarranted and many observers say that there are inconsistencies in the voting.  Even the African Union is urging caution and asking the courts not to approve the results.  In the long run, none of this will make any difference as DR Congo will either explode with Ebola or just spontaneously combust sometime in 2019.  DR Congo has A LOT of problems and the country should probably just be broken up into smaller countries because the current situation makes no sense at all.  (

THE BORDER IS SUCH A CRISIS ZONE THAT THE EL PASO SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT IS FOCUSING ON PECAN THIEVES!  YES, PECAN THIEVES!  THE TRUE MASTERMINDS OF THE BIG, BAD “BORDER CRISIS” – Donald Trump and his vile racist cronies are horrible human beings that make up bullshit stories in order to stoke their base with shameless fear mongering.  Perhaps the most vile of their moves is to create this garbage narrative that there is a crisis in the border and that all the border communities in America are war zones.  Even idiot Republicans in Austin are parroting this bullshit and they actually live in the state and can go down to any border community to see that this is all fear mongering.  For proof that this is bullshit, please note that the El Paso Sheriff’s Office just sent out a news release about pecan thieves.  Things are so unassuming on the border that the sheriff’s office just spent time and effort to talk about pecan thieves taking pecans from the trees in local pecan orchards.  FUCKING PECAN THIEVES!  Unless the border crisis involves pecan robberies, Donald Trump is just speaking out of his ass and making up shit about a part of the country he knows nothing about.  Fuck Donald Trump and all his cult members for disrespecting El Paso and all the border communities in the country.  (

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/11/2019


UTEP HAS BEEN DECLARED A TOP TIER RESEARCH UNIVERSITY!  HOORAY!!  MAYBE THEY CAN RESEARCH HOW TO HAVE A DECENT FOOTBALL TEAM. ZING! – Congratulations to UTEP for attaining a R1 designation in the Carnegie Classification of Institutions of Higher Education.  The designation is only attained by the top tier of universities that make up the top 4.5% of the nation’s schools.  Kudos to UTEP for focusing on the important things in college like education and learning and not blowing all their money on sports and other random nonsense.  (

THE TORNILLO DETENTION CENTER/INTERNMENT CAMP IS FINALLY CLOSING.  GOOD RIDDANCE AND NOW WE HOPE THAT THE MORON’S RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS POLITICAL STUNT FOLLOW THE CAMP’S LEAD AND SIMPLY DISAPPEAR – According to U.S. Representative Will Hurd, the migrant youth detention center/internment camp/disgusting political showcase is finally closing and being removed from Tornillo.  Ever since Donald Trump decided to attack migrant children, the center was used to house unaccompanied minors waiting to be reunified with family in the country.  Most of these kids will now go to more stable shelters throughout the country that normally handle these situations and will soon be reunited with their families as they await their day in court.  And the disastrous Tornillo Camp is just another example of the shitshow that Donald Trump creates when he tries to fix things with new ideas that are infinitely worse than what is currently being done.  (

TEXAS ATTORNEY GENERAL KEN PAXTON IS EITHER A FUCKING MORON OR A RACIST SACK OF SHIT WHO PULLS FAKE STATISTICS OUT OF HIS ASS IN ORDER TO APPEASE HIS MASTER DONALD TRUMP – In a brazen attack on El Paso and its people, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton made the amazingly ignorant statement that the border wall in El Paso helped lower crime in a once “lawless” city.  The truth is that no statistics back that claim up and some stats even show the opposite happening with crime rising slightly in the years after the wall went up about a decade ago.  To make up shit and say that El Paso was a violent place before the idiotic border wall went up is just a vile lie that is laced with racism and sycophantic love for Donald Trump.  Just look at the stats!  There are no statistics that show that crime was high before the wall.  Hell, crime has been down since the 1980s and has remained at the lowest levels in the state since then.  Even the local media – which normally supports stupid conservative talking points and bends the knee to their conservative corporate masters – went out of their way to fact check this dumbass fucker.  When KFOX and the El Paso Times take time off from their busy schedule of spouting right wing idiocy to correct you, you know that the comment was utter bullshit.  In closing, fuck off Ken Paxton.  (


WE ARE ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE END OF ONE OF THE DUMBEST CONFLICTS IN A WORLD FILLED WITH DUMB CONFLICTS – After decades of fighting between the Greek region and the new nation over the right to use “Macedonia”, it looks like the conflict between the areas with the same name will finally be resolved.  Macedonia’s parliament (the country, not the region) has narrowly approved a constitutional amendment by the necessary 2/3 majority to rename itself as the Republic of North Macedonia.  The Greek parliament still has to approve the deal that was proposed by Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras and his Macedonian – correction, North Macedonian – counterpart Zoran Zaev.  People on both sides are still bitching and complaining over the name and taking things to scary levels, but overall it looks like it will all be approved and this 27 year long pissing match over a name will finally end.  This will hopefully end Greece’s decades long cock block of “North Macedonia” and they will finally be able to join NATO and the EU.  Crazy people on both sides with nothing better to do will still debate random things like the actual birthplace of Alexander the Great.  But as long as they don’t kill each other or hurt each other physically this compromise will be considered a great success.  Zeno The Fox would be proud.  (

SOMETIMES TWITTER CAN BE A VALUABLE TOOL AND USED FOR POSITIVE CHANGE AND TO SAVE LIVES.  BUT THE OTHER 99% OF THE TIME IT’S JUST AN OUTLET FOR VILE RACISTS TO SAY HORRIBLE THINGS – Rahaf Mohammed al-Qunun is the 18-year old Saudi girl that made international headlines this week after escaping her family while in Kuwait and then being trapped in Thailand while attempting to get to Australia in an asylum bid.  Her desperate cries for help via Twitter, while trapped in a Bangkok airport hotel room, attracted so much attention that multiple governments got involved to help her leave Thailand and seek asylum.  In a matter of days she went from having only 24 followers to thousands of followers that all helped her get her message out to the world.  For an excellent summary, check out the BBC’s excellent timeline of events that follows her entire ordeal from the first tweet to the tense moments where it looked like authorities in Thailand would send her back to her family and a possible death sentence for renouncing Islam.  Truly riveting stuff.  If it weren’t for Twitter, she would probably be dead – so who says Twitter can’t be used for the forces of good?  (

WHEN DOGS LEARN TO USE GUNS THEY WILL BECOME THE ULTIMATE KILLING MACHINE AND WILL RULE THE WORLD.  OUR TIME IS UP! –In an absurdly tragic story out of Mississippi, a former LSU football player was shot in the leg by his dog and had to have the wounded leg amputated.  Although it sounds like a crazy drunk hunting story, it does appear that his dog accidentally shot him.  According to his friends, Matt Branch left his loaded shotgun on the bed of his truck when Tito the dog jumped in the truck and accidentally stepped on the trigger causing the gun to fire through the side of the truck and hitting his leg.  No word if Tito has already been questioned by police.  On a side note, check out the over-the-top graphic which might have been created by the KDBC graphic department on a bender – a foreboding LSU logo looks on as a shadowy picture of a man hunting with his dog fills the screen.  It’s practically the promo image to a cheesy Netflix show.  Even a caricature of a dog shooting a guy with a machine gun would have been less melodramatic.  (

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/04/2019


EL PASO COUNTY WILL ONCE MORE ATTEMPT TO MAKE THE MISSION TRAIL INTO A SOMEWHAT COHESIVE TRAVEL ZONE.  THIS INVOLVES GETTING SOCORRO, SAN ELIZARIO AND EL PASO TO WORK TOGETHER; SO EL PASO COUNTY BASICALLY WANTS TO GET INTO THE CAT HERDING BUSINESS – The existing Missions in Ysleta, Socorro and San Elizario are some of the oldest in North America that are still standing and are cultural treasures.  El Paso County is once more attempting to make the Mission Trail a legitimate unified travel area that is properly maintained and has a consistent look and feel.  This time it looks like the County legitimately wants this to happen and has hired independent planners and consultants to work with all the local interest holders to get this done properly.  Although it would be nice to see a unified trail go from Ysleta to San Elizario, it would be much better if the TRUE Mission Trail was honored by including the Mission Guadalupe in downtown Juarez as the starting point and then have the trail pass through the Bronco Swap Meet area where the Senecu Mission once likely stood.  Come on, let’s make this a truly international and accurate Mission Trail.  (

THE LAS CRUCES CITY GOVERNMENT ISN’T MESSING AROUND, THEY STARTED THE NEW YEAR OUT WITH A TOP TEN LIST OF PROJECTS THEY WANT TO GET DONE FOR 2019 AND THEY’RE STARTING ON THEM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  WAY TO SHOW SOME INITIATIVE, LAS CRUCES! – The city leaders of Las Cruces have chosen the top 10 projects that they will be focusing on this year and they aim to get them started and/or completed by the end of the year.  Among the projects on the list are improvements to public safety and infrastructure; but the most ambitious are improvements to the Las Cruces Airport and the construction of a parking garage in Downtown Las Cruces.  The parking garage will serve to accommodate the extra traffic that is coming to the now booming Downtown area and will hopefully encourage even more development in the heart of the city.  Though the project won’t be completed for a few years, the city hopes to get the ball rolling on this multi-million dollar project this year.  Kudos, Las Cruces.  (

THE HUMANE SOCIETY OF EL PASO HAS ALWAYS BEEN A BIT INCOMPETENT, SO IT’S NO SURPRISE THAT THEY MANAGED TO HIRE THE WORST POSSIBLE PERSON AS DIRECTOR – Anyone who has ever dealt with the Humane Society of El Paso has left scratching their head as to how such a poorly run unit can continue existing without any major changes.  Their main job is to take in animals but somehow they never have enough space and it seems they waste money on other things not related to their main goal of taking in animals.  Naturally, the non-profit decided to outdo themselves in 2018 by hiring a fancy pants out-of-towner to be director that turned out to be a mightily sketchy individual.  Director Luke Westerman was so sketchy that he was indicted last month for theft and securities violations that occurred during his time working in Wall Street.  Wall Street is a skeevy cesspool of white collar corruption and borderline fraud – you really have to be slimey to get charged with something while working in Wall Street.  So now there is an arrest warrant out for the director of El Paso’s Humane Society and you just know they are STILL going to look for a fancy pants out-of-towner to take over because apparently no one in El Paso is capable of running an animal shelter poorly.  (


NOW GERMANY IS GETTING ATTACKED VIA WIDE SCALE POLITICAL HACKING.  GEE, I WONDER WHO IS BEHIND THE HACKS? – A large scale data dump has occurred in Germany where personal info on multiple politicians and public figures has been posted on Twitter.  Though it is believed that no government computers were attacked for the info, it appears that the data has been harvested for years from various email and social media accounts.  All political parties (except for – SHOCK – the far-right Alternative for Germany) were affected by the data dump and authorities believe that foreign hackers were responsible.  What right wing, borderline fascist country has been hacking others for years in an attempt to undermine western governments and try to pathetically recapture their glory years as a global power?  What country could have been involved?  The world may never know, but we’ll ask Vladimir Putin if he has any ideas.  (

PINK FLOYD SHOULD NOW DO A REMAKE OF THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON IN CHINESE – Congratulations go out to China for being the first country to land a spacecraft on the far side of the Moon.  The Chang’e-4 craft and rover landed this week and the rover successfully went out to the surface of the Moon and sent back pictures.  The mission will do some geological studies on the Moon, but like most space missions the core of the project was for bragging rights.  Maybe this will start another space race and we can properly go back to the moon and look beyond to asteroids and other planets for future experiments and possible colonization trips.  We are truly fucked if we have to rely on Elon Musk and his fleet of kid-size submarines to get us to Mars and beyond.  (

CALLING TRUMP A MOTHERFUCKER IS A BIT OF A LOW BLOW.  WITH ALL DO RESPECT, HE’S MORE OF A DAUGHTERFUCKER THAN A MOTHERFUCKER – The government is still in shutdown mode and Donald Trump is willing to keep this going for years if he doesn’t get his stupid, racist wall.  That smug fucker doesn’t care if people go without a paycheck or suffer from unpaid bills because he is a pampered toddler who has never suffered a day in his life.  And through all of this, the dumbass and his Republican cronies were angered when Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib said, “We’re going to impeach this motherfucker!”.  Donald Trump has uttered offensive diatribes and racist comments for years and NOW he’s offended.  Joke’s on him though.  It doesn’t matter how long he shuts down the government, that won’t stop Mueller’s investigation and his inevitable impeachment.  ( /