Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/31/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE IDIOTIC FIGHT TO SAVE A WHORE HOUSE AND RED LIGHT DISTRICT-RELATED HISTORY AT UNION PLAZA LOOKS LIKE IT’S COMING TO A CLOSE. HEAVEN FORBID A NEW ARENE BE BUILT IN THE ULTRA HISTORIC WHORE HOUSE SECTOR OF UNION PLAZA – The Texas Supreme Court has finally done something right and ruled against the lawsuit by morons Max Grossman and J.P. Bryan that was pushing for voters to be allowed to vote on the Union Plaza area being declared a historic district. The Texas Supreme Court wisely ruled against this stupid idea that would set a precedent to allow organizations with enough clout to put time consuming zoning-related issues on the ballot. What’s the point of electing a government if every stupid fucking idea and decision is going to be placed on the ballot by sore loser, crybabies? So now we wait and see how the other frivolous lawsuits by Grossman and friends pan out before construction on the multi-purpose arena/center is begun in the area. People that really care about the buildings in the area should make a deal with the city as soon as possible and at least incorporate the facades of the more aesthetically pleasing buildings into the new building. By following an idiot like Max Grossman, the people that really care about the area will see the entire thing flattened completely with nothing saved. Now is not the time to listen to opportunistic, outsider trash like Max Grossman and J.P. Bryan. (cbs4local.com)

KUDOS TO SAN ELIZARIO FOR DOING SOMETHING PROGRESSIVE AND TRYING TO SAVE BEES AND NATURAL PLANTS IN THE AREA. SEE THAT, SOCORRO AND THE REST OF THE LOWER VALLEY? THAT’S HOW YOU RUN A NON-INCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT – The City of San Elizario recently passed an ordinance protecting three species of plant that are important to bees and the native ecosystem. The plants that will be protected are Baileya multiradiata, verdolagas and globemallow. In addition, San Elizario will be holding a “bee festival” to celebrate the little critters and the plants that they love. Meanwhile, Socorro has just passed an ordinance to allow even more plants to be bulldozed so more shitty drywall and cardboard box homes can be built and they have also hired local cholos to stab all the city’s bees because they might bother the City Manager’s son on his busy schedule of getting drunk, doing cocaine and speeding on Alameda. We can’t have pesky bees stinging the City Manager’s son as he does cocaine and drive his car really fast. (elpasoheraldpost.com)

WE SALUTE YOU, EL PASO-STYLE FLAUTAS AS CREATED BY CHICO’S TACOS. WE HAD NO IDEA SO MANY PLACES SERVED THEM – El Paso Inc has a great write up on Chico’s Tacos and the culinary tradition they launched when they made El Paso-style flautas/rolled tacos/flautas ahogadas/Chico’s Tacos so popular. They have a list of all the places that currently offer the dish around the region and we had no idea they were so pervasive outside of Chico’s. As a public service, here is a list of all the local restaurants that offer their take on the El Paso culinary staple: Chico’s Tacos (obviously), Frisco’s, Fat Bun, Fast Lane, La Tapatia, Fat Bear, Spirit Of 66, Carlos & Mickey’s, Lucy’s, Cincinnati Bar & Grill, Knife & Barrel, 3^rd Tavern & Grill, The District Pub & Kitchen and every fucking greasy spoon diner along Alameda, North Loop, Montana and Dyer. (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S ALMOST AS IF ARGENTINA SAW THE SHIT SHOW IN VENEZUELA AND YELLED OUT, “NO ONE OUT ECONOMIC DISASTERS ARGENTINA. ARGENTINA IS THE MASTER OF SOUTH AMERICAN ECONOMIC DISASTERS.” – In news that surprised no one, Argentina’s currency has collapsed as the country’s economic troubles spiral into the abyss. Even after interest rate hikes by the central bank, the peso still keeps on falling and it looks like Argentina will need some outside help. Naturally even though this is all Argentina’s fault, they will take money from the IMF and still blame them and foreign powers for all the economic troubles. Brazil, the gauntlet has been thrown. Now we wait and see if Brazil can do something even dumber than Venezuela and Argentina. (reuters.com)

BASED ON PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE, LARGE GROUPS OF RIGHT WING NATIONALISTS MARCHING IN GERMANY IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA. MAYBE IT’S BEST THAT THIS IS NIPPED IN THE BUD EARLY – A tragic crime in the German city of Chemnitz has ignited a powder keg in the country with no resolution in sight. News leaked last week that Middle Eastern migrants were involved in a late night fight that turned deadly in Chemnitz and that led to right wing bastards hijacking the tragedy to turn it into an anti-immigrant protest and right wing march. The protests in the city and elsewhere in Germany have been raging all week and thousands of people have marched and counter-marched as a result of this right wing wildfire. The sad thing is that the nationalist dumbasses don’t even care about the victim, Daniel Hillig, and few people are even mentioning his name. He wasn’t even political or remotely right wing and now people are using his death to encourage violence. We should all be weary of those that preach of “nationalism” as nothing more than a cover for racism and hate. (bbc.com)

IN THE FUTURE, GENETIC ENGINEERS WILL REPLACE DOCTORS FOR MOST MEDICAL TREATMENTS. THE FUTURE OF MEDICINE IS UPON US – Scientists have made some extraordinary progress in muscular dystrophy research thanks to gene editing. Using Crispr gene editing, researchers were able to use harmless viruses to enter the body and modify the DNA of dogs to stop one of the irregularities in patients with muscular dystrophy that prevents dystrophin (a protein that is important for muscle strength) from being created in the body. Although it is too early to tell if just modifying the “dystrophin creation” is enough to end muscular dystrophy, the signs are promising that this will at least make this disorder more manageable. Thanks to Crispr editing it looks like the genetic engineering revolution in medicine is upon us. (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/24/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AT THIS POINT, SUNLAND PARK IS LIKE THAT CREEPY EX-BOYFRIEND THAT CAN’T TAKE ‘NO’ FOR AN ANSWER AND ENDS UP GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER – Santa Teresa’s fight for freedom continues and they have just gotten good news from the courts. After some failed lawsuits, a New Mexico judge has ruled in favor of Santa Teresa becoming its own incorporated municipality. This all comes as a result of Sunland Park’s shameless attempt to forcibly annex Santa Teresa and the ensuing bullying tactics used by the members of the Sunland government to bring about this annexation by force. After the revolving door of city managers and the virtual collapse of the Sunland Park government a few years back, is it any wonder that Santa Teresa isn’t really excited about forcibly being annexed by Sunland Park? Keep up fighting the good fight, Santa Teresa. The Sunland Park government should fix the problems within their own city limits before they start invading other territory in order to bolster their tax base. The next step now is for Santa Teresa to take their fight to the Dona Ana County government where they must show that they can provide public services better than what Sunland Park can provide. Judging by the Sunland government’s incompetent past and current bullying tactics, it’s a safe bet that any rational official can see that Santa Teresa shouldn’t be forced to do something it does not want to do. (kvia.com)

IT’S BEEN CLOSE TO 2 MONTHS AND JUAREZ STILL DOES NOT HAVE AN “OFFICIAL” WINNER IN THE MAYORAL ELECTION. NORMALLY THIS WOULD BE A PROBLEM, BUT AT THIS POINT A SACK OF POTATOES WOULD PROBABLY BE JUST AS GOOD AS ANYONE ELSE IN THE MAYOR’S OFFICE – On July 1, Javier Mocken won the mayoral election by beating incumbent Armando Cabada by a very narrow margin. The result was reviewed by the municipal election board and Mocken was declared the winner. Cabada threw a fit and appealed to the people who handle elections in the state level where he was declared the winner after a “review” by the Chihuahua office. This has angered many people and now the election will be reviewed at the federal level after multiple complaints. Once the federal officials decide this thing it looks like there will be nowhere else to complain and Juarez will finally have a legit mayor by sometime in September. Although we are still hopeful that the Mexican election officials in the federal level just say “Fuck It!” and declare a sack of potatoes the winner of the election and the new mayor of Juarez. Hell, the sack of potatoes will probably do a better job of lowering crime in Juarez. (elpasoinc.com)

FOR THOSE PLACING BETS ON HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE FOR SOMEONE TO GET INTO AN ACCIDENT WITH A DOWNTOWN EL PASO STREETCAR, THE ANSWER IS NEGATIVE 2 MONTHS – Yup, the El Paso Streetcars don’t go into service until November and some drunk already crashed into them during the streetcar training phase. Luckily, the accident was minor and no serious injuries or damage to the streetcar was reported. But there is still time to place your bets for how long it will take for someone to do something stupid and get killed while running into a streetcar. My money is on ’20 minutes after they go on official service’. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF ANYONE NEEDS ANY ADVICE ON HOW NOT TO RUN A COUNTRY, JUST TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT MADURO AND FRIENDS ARE DOING IN VENEZUELA – On top of the ultra inflation that is currently crippling Venezuela and its ‘new’ currency, the country’s neighbors are getting nervous at the wave of migrants and are looking to block access at the border. The latest of the nearby countries that are feeling the pressure is Peru which plans to introduce travel restrictions and require a passport for Venezuelans entering the country. Normally, Venezuela’s neighbors would let Venezuelans enter as long as they have an ID card. But the current migration crisis is reaching critical mass and nearby countries have to balance the impact to their own population as well as the humanitarian principles that determine that they should be kind to innocent refugees in a time of need. So not only is Venezuela imploding, but now the idiotic government of Maduro is threatening the stability of an entire region. God help Venezuela and South America. (bbc.com)

MAYBE THE HURRICANE’S RAINS WILL FINALLY HELP STOP HAWAII’S ENDLESS VOLCANO – As Hurricane Lane enters in range of Hawaii, Kilauea is still erupting without a care in the world. Hawaii got lucky this week as Hurricane Lane swerved enough to only brush the island and spare people the worst of the storm. A ton of rain still fell in Hawaii, but at least they didn’t get category 4 winds barreling down on the island and even more rain that would fallen in a direct hit. Of note is that the Kilauea volcano is still chugging along and waving at Hurricane Lane as it passes by. The volcanic lava flow is now a trickle, but you got to be impressed by how powerful and long lasting volcanoes can be. And you got to be even more impressed by Hawaiians and their ability to live normal, stable lives as they are sandwiched between two forces of nature. (reuters.com)

DONALD TRUMP IS (AND WILL ALWAYS BE) A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – The idiot Donald Trump completed a banner week as ex-associates Cohen and Manafort were found guilty of various felonies and other associates were found to have received immunity for their testimonies. On top of all this, Donald Trump continued with his stupid, unwinnable trade war with China and continued whining like a child on Twitter. I’m pretty sure the idiot did other horrible things and was caught up in more scandals this week, but it’s really hard to keep up with the fuck up and all his disasters. Here’s hoping that the next week is the one where he resigns or finally gets impeached. (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/17/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF A PERSON HAS A DRINK AND GETS CAUGHT IN A WASTE-OF-RESOURCES DUI CHECKPOINT, THEY GO TO JAIL. IF A PERSON MURDERS SOMEONE WITH THEIR CAR IN A PARKING LOT AND SAYS THEY ARE “DISORIENTED”, THEY GO FREE AND GET A PAT ON THE BACK. EL PASO LAW AND ORDER SURE HAS ITS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT – Tragedy struck earlier this week as a mother was killed when an idiot driver struck her and her children in the parking lot of Tippin Elementary on the first day of school. Kharisma James was the young mother that died and her children and others were also injured in the incident. The idiot in question that killed Kharisma James was Roger Hawkins who was conveniently “disoriented” when the cops arrived after showing off his poor understanding of driving. Naturally, no charges were filed by the police. But if he would have had one drink in his system rest assured that the police and every pearl-clutcher in the region would be asking for his execution. Unfortunately, while driving under the influence is considered a major crime by many, “driving while old and stupid” is considered an accomplishment by many members of society. So if you ever commit a crime, just be sure to tell them that you are “disoriented” and they’ll let you go with a slap on the wrist. (cbs4local.com)

EL PASO IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO GETTING A DENTAL SCHOOL! IT TOOK ABOUT A CENTURY, BUT THE TEXAS GOVERNMENT IS FINALLY NOTICING US – The Texas Tech Board of Regents has just approved the doctor of dental medicine degree that will be offered starting in 2021 at the El Paso medical school campus. This is a long time coming and is one of the many professional degrees that have been missing from El Paso’s educational puzzle for a long time. Now if the state can just stop fucking us over and allow us the opportunity to have a law school, architecture school and veterinary school; we’ll be on our way. Kudos to the Paso Del Norte Foundation and the Hunt Foundation for getting the ball rolling on this plan and helping to bring a dental school to El Paso. Although it would be cool if the school was called Doctor Diente’s Toothatorium and Dental School, the Woody L. Hunt School of Medicine is also a good name. After the Hunt Foundation’s $25 million donation and support, they deserve the naming honors. (elpasoinc.com)

DOWNTOWN BUSINESS OWNERS ARE ONCE AGAIN BLAMING RANDOM THINGS FOR LACK OF BUSINESS. THIS SEASON’S BOOGIE MAN IS THE CONSTRUCTION ON EL PASO STREET – El Paso Street is undergoing a major renovation project and, as is tradition, the downtown business owners are blaming their low business numbers on random reason #11354: construction. Although much of the loss of business over the years can be attributed to a business plan that basically consists of taking a truck to Los Angeles and buying as much cheap “Made in China” goods as possible and selling them at double the cost. Though that simple plan might have worked in the past, consumers are now looking for more upscale goods and even shoppers from Juarez will rather drive, or take public transportation, to the mall or the nearest Wal-Mart to buy stuff. But changing the business plan would require effort and it’s much easier to just blame random things and the government for all your problems. Of note is the mention in the article that most of the business owners are buying into a rumor that the city has run out of money and has stopped construction on the street. WhatsApp Conspiracy theories and fake news is alive and well in Downtown El Paso! But we’ll hold off judgment until the late October deadline for construction to end arrives. Maybe the conspiracy theory is right! But once construction is complete by the end of the year we can go back to making WhatsApp rumor jokes about Downtown business owners. Did you know Godzilla and his kaiju friends are planning to attack El Paso and are only focusing on Downtown Businesses?!? It’s true because it’s on Facebook AND WhatsApp. And someone’s tio has it on good authority that none other than Mayor Dee Margo is working with Godzilla to destroy businesses on El Paso St. and in Union Plaza so that they can build TWO arenas. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

EVEN DEVELOPED NATIONS AREN’T IMMUNE TO SHITTY ENGINEERING – In one of the more shocking disasters to occur in quite some time, a bridge collapsed in Genoa, Italy on Tuesday, killing more than 30 people. What makes this so shocking is that this was a massive bridge in Genoa, Italy that served as one of Italy’s most important connections. And it was a truly massive collapse that took out a good portion of the bridge and structures below. It’s actually a miracle that more people didn’t die or get horribly injured, that’s how bad this collapse was. Authorities and the bridge managers are now pointing fingers and trying to pass the blame on anybody but themselves. Although a big storm was going on at the time and repair work was being done at the base of the tower that collapsed, it is still too early to determine why such an important bridge collapsed, seemingly, without warning in one of the most advanced and richest regions in the world. It should be noted that the bridge was de facto privatized and a private sector company was in charge of tolls and maintenance. So maybe privatizing important public infrastructure isn’t such a hot idea. In case any private sector groupies want to expand this idea into America, never allow the private sector anywhere near important infrastructure. (bbc.com)

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN OF SOUL, ARETHA FRANKLIN – Aretha Franklin passed away on Thursday at the age of 76. Throughout her career she had a string of classic hits including “Respect” and had one of the most powerful voices in the world throughout her lifetime. She was the Queen of Soul while alive and I don’t see anyone taking that title anytime soon. Rest in peace, Aretha Franklin. (reuters.com)

TASMANIAN DEVILS NOT ONLY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HUMANS DRIVING THEM TO EXTINCTION, THEY ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH A CRAZY CONTAGIOUS CANCER THAT ONLY INFECTS THEIR SPECIES. NOW THAT’S SOMETHING WE DIDN’T SEE IN THE CARTOONS – Tasmanian Devils are a fascinating creature that managed to survive human encroachment in their isolated geological area yet are still threatened by a cancer known as devil facial tumor disease. What is interesting about this cancer is that it is highly contagious if the devils touch the infected area of another animal and it is one of the few known cancers that acts in this way. Thanks to preservation efforts, and sheer Tasmanian Devil will power, the Tasmanian Devil has managed to avoid extinction and is recovering in some areas. Some fascinating research is being conducted on these remarkable creatures and their relationship to cancer and it is possible that this may help humans in their fight against the disease. So if you’ve ever been curious about Tasmanian Devil medical issues, have I got a research paper for you. (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/10/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

A PERSON WAS SEVERELY INJURED AFTER A WHITE PICKUP TRUCK SPED THROUGH AN ALLEY IN FIVE POINTS WITH NO REGARD FOR SAFETY. SO IF ANYBODY KNOWS ANY CUNTS WHO RECKLESSLY DRIVE WHITE PICKUP TRUCKS, TURN THEM INTO THE COPS – Christian Ortiz, aka DJ Swift, suffered massive injuries this past Sunday when a bastard in a white pickup truck maliciously went through an alley in Five Points and pinned Christian against his car. Christian is currently in the hospital with severe injuries while the driver of the truck got away. Surveillance footage was released of the incident and it clearly showed a white pickup truck with no regard for safety plowing into the alley. So if you know anyone with a white pickup truck that would do something this horrible, report them to the cops immediately. (cbs4local.com)

WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE DAY WHEN I’LL BE ABLE TO 3D PRINT STRIPPERS FROM THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME. AT THAT POINT I WILL BECOME A SHUT-IN AND DIE – UTEP has pulled off quite a feat and has managed to attract Aconity 3D to set up its North American headquarters in El Paso. UTEP lured them thanks to their Keck Center for 3D Innovation that provides countless research opportunities for UTEP students to get hands on time with industrial 3D printers. So kudos to the UTEP staff for bringing more research and employment opportunities for El Paso’s students. So let’s get started with that 3D printed android stripper research, UTEP. (elpasoinc.com)

RON STALLWORTH IS ONE OF EL PASO’S GREATEST UNSUNG HEROES. BUT A NEW MOVIE BY SPIKE LEE WILL FINALLY PUT HIM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Ron Stallworth is an El Paso native who is best known as the black police officer who managed to trick the KKK into letting him into their organization. During his time in law enforcement in Colorado, he infiltrated the KKK to stop an attack and later published his experience in his amazing memoir. His story was recently made into a movie by Spike Lee which will only make his story a wider audience. The movie, Blackkklansman, is now in theatres and Ron Stallworth will be speaking at Alamo Drafthouse and the Plaza Classic Film Festival about his experiences. So go check out this El Paso hero if you get a chance this weekend. As an added bonus, they’ll have copies of his book and he’ll be signing autographs! (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

BANGLADESH IS IN THE MIDST OF PROTESTS DESPITE GOVERNMENT CRACKDOWNS TO TRY AND SUPPRESS THE NEWS. WE’LL DO OUR PART BY GIVING THE PROTESTERS A VOICE AND KEEP THE GOVERNMENT FROM DROWNING THEM OUT COMPLETELY – Bangladesh has a ton of problems and the straw that broke the camel’s back happened in late July when 2 children were killed by a speeding bus driver. At that point the people became fed up and have been holding almost daily protests to ask for better road conditions. Although the core of the protests center on pedestrian safety, the protests have flared up due to the general frustration of the people with a government that seems a bit on the corrupt side. We hope things get better in Bangladesh, but their government will sooner start shooting protesters before it actually tries to make the country better. Shooting people is much easier than working hard and helping your fellow countrymen. (bbc.com)

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER THE HEATWAVE ENDED IN EUROPE A GIANT FLOOD HIT THE CONTINENT. WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO HURRICANES HITTING EUROPE AND PEOPLE WILL STILL DEBATE IF CLIMATE CHANGE “MAYBE” HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT – Wacky weather has always been around, though nowadays it seems like crazy, unpredictable weather is the norm rather than the rarity. Just as the record temperatures receded in France and the rest of Europe, heavy rains took their place and flooded many parts of the continent. The heaviest flooding appears to have occurred in France where over 1,500 were rescued due to rising waters. Welcome to Europe: If you happen to spontaneously combust, just wait awhile until the floods put you out. (bbc.com)

SO WHEN CAN I GO TO THE PET SHOP AND BUY MYSELF A FOX? – Researchers in Russia, led by Dmitry Belyaev, managed to domesticate foxes in the 20^th century and over that time managed to gather tons of research on domestication and the parts of the brain linked to aggression and the genetic basis for these changes. The study has tons of information with an impact on everything from genetics to behavioral psychology. Make sure you read the write up on Discover or the full journal article from Nature Ecology and Evolution if you want the full story on fox domestication. So where can I go buy a pet fox then? (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/03/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL TIME AGAIN! AND ONCE MORE THEY HAVE SHUNNED DEUCE BIGELOW: MALE GIGOLO – One of El Paso’s best yearly events is the Plaza Classic Film Festival. The movie lover’s dream returns this week with more than a week of excellent movies chock full of special guests and related events. This year there is an even bigger focus on movies with local connections and even a museum exhibit dedicated to the greater Paso Del Norte region and its role in film history. So make sure you check out at least one movie this festival season. You can’t go wrong with seeing a classic film in the gorgeous movie palace known as the Plaza Theatre. The festival runs from August 2 to 12 and you can find more information at plazaclassic.com. (elpasoinc.com)

EL PASO HAS ANOTHER WORLD CHAMPION – Kudos to Andres Hernandez for winning the gold in the 200 freestyle, in addition to other medals in the 100 freestyle and the 100 back, at the World Swimming Championships for Down syndrome that took place in Canada recently. Andres has been competing for years and this time out beat competitors from over 20 countries to get his medals. Congratulations to Andres. He makes the region proud. (cbs4local.com)

FRIENDLY ESTONIANS ARE INVADING EL PASO WITH BOOKS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! – Because everyone on Facebook is a moron, “worried” parents created a mini-scare among an El Paso parents Facebook group when they shared stories of foreign exchange student booksellers roaming the city. This being Facebook, people immediately jumped to conclusions and started talking about human trafficking, child abductions and other preposterous scenarios. Naturally, the local news media got involved and calmed everyone’s nerves by discovering that the book sellers were Estonian students that were ensnared by, borderline pyramid scheme, Southwest Advantage to sell books during their summer break. So no, Estonians are not here to kidnap your children. They might be a bit pushy when selling books, but please be polite if you encounter them in your neighborhood. They are guests in our community and we should be friendly and make them feel welcome. Whoever assigned these poor souls to sell books in Clint during the middle of summer is one messed up individual. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

ON A POSITIVE NOTE, AT LEAST MUGABE ISN’T LEADER OF ZIMBABWE ANYMORE – The first open democratic election in Zimbabwe in decades started out well and then turned into a bloody riot once the results came in earlier this week. The vote was close, but in the end incumbent President Emmerson Mnangagwa and his party won re-election with a majority of the seats in power. The close result and long delay in the count have caused some of the population to think that the vote was rigged and this led to deadly protests on the day the results were first released. Opposition leader Nelson Chamisa has also rejected the results and claims to have really won the election thus making a tense situation that much more dangerous. Though no serious voting irregularities were reported, Zimbabwe has a SLIGHT reputation for being corrupt and that has led the population to question the results. Regardless, Zimbabwe is still doing WAAAAAAY better than when idiot Mugabe was in charge. (bbc.com)

AT THIS RATE, EUROPE WON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IMMIGRANTS ANYMORE. BECAUSE EUROPE WILL BE BURNED TO A CRISP AND EVERYONE WILL BE DEAD. ONLY THE LAVA PEOPLE WILL BE ABLE TO MIGRATE TO EUROPE – Temperatures are expected to approach the continental record of 118 degrees Fahrenheit the next few days when temps in parts of Spain and Portugal flirt with that hellish mark. The rest of Europe is also burning up and the heatwave of 2018 continues to be one for the ages. But of course, global climate change doesn’t exist so this is all an illusion and fake news. If everyone just ignores the high temperatures, like climate change, the temps will magically go back to normal. Take care, Europe. In addition to rising sea levels, desertification and the expansion of existing deserts is one aspect of climate change that many people overlook. Let’s just hope Europe doesn’t become Sahara 2. (bbc.com)

THAT IS ONE INTERESTING WEIRDO ROGUE PLANET – Turns out the weirdo rogue object that is floating in the Milky Way is not a Brown Dwarf, but a really big planet. The orb’s unofficial name has been shortened to SIMP and it is now been deemed a planet because it is just “small” enough to fit in that category. It seems our giant orb friend also has a powerful magnetic field, is really hot and might have a moon! The universe is really, really weird. Let’s just hope SIMP doesn’t decide to wander into our Solar System and play billiards with all his new orb friends. (blogs.discovermagazine.com)