Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/13/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THERE IS NO HENTAI COSPLAY AT EL PASO COMIC CON THIS YEAR, I WILL BE DEEPLY DISAPPOINTED – It’s that time of the year again!  When costumed people and pervs who like hentai cosplay (but not me, other people) descend on Downtown for the annual El Paso Comic Con.  The celebration of comic books, science fiction, anime and other nerdtastic genres just keeps on growing and getting better every year and you should definitely check it out this weekend.  And if you are an attractive female, I highly recommend you give hentai cosplay a shot.  I really can’t stress that enough.  (elpasocomiccon.com)

EASTLAKE HAS FINALLY BEEN EXTENDED TO HORIZON BOULEVARD!  AND THE CITY OF HORIZON DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO RENAME IT SOMETHING STUPID TO GET THE JOB DONE – The work on Eastlake in Horizon City has finally been completed and the much used road has now been extended past Desert Mist Drive all the way to Horizon Boulevard near the high school.  The construction project was completed about 9 months ahead of schedule and gives the residents of Horizon another direct connection to I-10 and Socorro (granted, it’s a longer and loopier connection).  In addition, the mostly commercial development that will occur along this expanded road will bring a ton of tax revenue to the city and allow for more development.  In contrast, the Eastlake expansion in Socorro will finish 9 months behind schedule, over budget and renamed something asinine like Maya Mexica Cesar Chavez Raza Road 3000 Boulevard.  (cbs4local.com)

IN TYPICAL EL PASO NEWS, IDIOTS THAT BOUGHT HOUSES MERE FEET FROM I-10 AND OTHER MAJOR STREETS ARE ANGRY BECAUSE SOME BUSINESSES MAKE NOISE.  TO RECAP, IDIOTS BOUGHT HOUSES THAT ARE A FEW FEET FROM THE FUCKING FREEWAY AND THEY ARE MAD ABOUT NOISE AND TRAFFIC – The current city noise ordinance determines violations via the objective measurements from a sound level meter and are pretty clear on how loud something has to be to be considered a nuisance.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want special treatment and want a noise ordinance based on how many “buddies” they have in the government and the police department and calling them up to ask for a favor.  There’s nothing much to say other than this is comapdrismo at its finest and the fact that the city is even looking at a change speaks volumes about the good ol’ boy network that exists in the City of El Paso government.  Sadly some people believe that laws should be based on how many “buddies” you have at city hall and the police department.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

FUCK ASSAD!  THE BOMBS PROBABLY WON’T STOP SYRIA’S CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND THEY PROBABLY KNEW IN ADVANCE WHERE THE BOMBS WOULD LAND, BUT AT LEAST THEY DESTROYED SOME OF THE FUCKER’S SHIT – As a result of the Assad Government’s recent chemical attack in Syria, allied forces have launched a missile strike on Syria chemical weapon facilities.  Although reactions are mixed over America’s involvement in this bombing campaign, there was international consensus that something had to be done and destroying their chemical weapons facilities was the least the world could do to a scumbag like Assad.  Hopefully this doesn’t escalate into a unilateral, Iraq-style, Amercian clusterfuck in Syria – but with the idiot in the White House anything is possible.  (bbc.com)

SO, DOES THIS MEAN ECUADOR AND COLOMBIA WILL GO TO WAR WITH EACH OTHER? – The Ecuadorean government has confirmed that 3 journalists from Ecuador, who were recently abducted along the Colombian border, have been murdered.  The culprits are believed to be Farc rebels from Colombia who did not want to sign on to the recent peace agreement with Colombia and just decided to become a full blown drug cartel in control of the Ecuador/Colombia border.  Patrols will now increase in the increasingly dangerous border area as both countries try to work together to stop this from becoming a full blown military conflict involving two countries, drug dealers and ex-rebel groups.  See, Republicans, this is what a REAL fucked up border actually looks like.  (theguardian.com)

I GUESS ARGENTINIAN MICE REALLY LIKE WEED.  THEY REALLY, REALLY LIKE WEED – Police near Buenos Aires, Argentina have blamed mice for more than half a ton of missing marijuana at a police evidence warehouse.  Because this is an amazingly stupid excuse, eight police officers have been dismissed as an investigation looks at what really happened to the missing drugs.  But the fact that somebody thought that mice could eat that much pot without the mice suffering any adverse effects just boggles the mind.  Could mice really eat that much marijuana?  Is it even possible?  Maybe Argentinean police are on to something.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/06/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ONLY CANUTILLO COULD GENERATE THIS MUCH DRAMA OVER THE CONSTRUCTION OF A SCHOOL BARN – Who knew there could be this much backbiting and political posturing over a fucking barn?  The clusterfuck at the Canutillo School District continued this week as the proposed site of a school barn was moved from Garcia Elementary to Canutillo Middle School at the last minute.  The original barn was to be located near the property of a school board member who may or may not have benefited from construction at that location if it did go forward.  This was the spark that brought all the board’s animosity towards the surface and now we have this mess.  The district is now split into factions, officials have walked out of school board meetings and last minute changes are now being used to dick over other members.  And let’s not forget that the school district tried to stop development in the area because some members didn’t want “urban” homes to disturb their “rural” lifestyle.  Amazingly, it took a agriculture education barn to finally bring the incompetence at Canutillo central office to light.  And yes, the use of district funds to construct a barn is weird – but Canutillo is technically a rural district.  (cbs4local.com)

SELF DEFENSE IS NO OFFENSE – Hisaias Justo Lopez stabbed and killed Isaac Morales last year AFTER Morales chased him and he turned around and stabbed him, that much we know is true.  Unfortunately, the media is only giving one side of the story and trying to paint Isaac Morales as a hero because he was a Border Patrol agent.  Hisaias should be punished for killing someone, but at most it should be manslaughter and not some trumped up capital murder charge like the media is salivating for.  A bunch of drunks got in a fight outside a bar, as happens at most bars, and then one of them made the mistake of chasing down someone with a knife and died when the fucker being chased defended himself.  When drunks argue at a bar it’s not a matter of “who started what?” because the reason for stupid ass bar fights is usually something asinine like “Don’t stare at muh girl!” or “Dallas Cowboys are number one, bitch!”.  It’s a tragedy that someone died, but please stop mentioning that Isaac Morales was in the Border Patrol.  At that moment he wasn’t a Border Patrol agent but was just one person among a group of drunk individuals who got in a stupid bar fight and chased someone with a knife.  The media should tell all sides of the story instead of immediately creating a narrative that their aging audience will prefer.  (cbs4local.com)

TAKING A PAGE FROM FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S, EL PASO’S NEW GOAL IS TO SCARE CHILDREN INTO RECYCLING WITH THE HELP OF ANIMATRONIC RECYCLING BINS – The City of El Paso has a new mascot and this time it’s an animatronic recycling bin robot that looks happy but may just be using that as a façade to make you drop your guard.  Bleu, the curbside recycling robot, has been introduced by the city to try and educate kids on the wonders of recycling – and if that doesn’t work, to give kids nightmares if they don’t recycle.  It doesn’t say how much the Environmental Services Department spent on the robot.  But at a time when the city is thinking of downsizing the curbside recycling program because of cost issues, it’s quite amusing to see that they still have funds for essential items like recycling bin robots.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WOW, BRAZILIAN POLITICS ARE AMAZINGLY FUCKED UP!  AND EX-PRESIDENT LULA IS TAKING IT TO A WHOLE NEW LEVEL – In one of the oddest moments seen in politics in years, Brazilian ex-president Luis Inacio Lula da Silva refused to turn himself in to authorities and instead went to a union building in Sao Paulo and refuses to come out.  He is set to start a 12 year prison sentence for corruption but it looks like he isn’t going down without some grandstanding.  Thousands of his supporters are surrounding the building thus making any show of force to capture him a very stupid and dangerous idea.  Lula is beloved by many for his programs to get people out of poverty, but he was also accused of wasting a ton of money and being corrupt.  Lula denies that he did anything wrong and that his trial was politically motivated and thus Brazil finds itself in this conundrum.  And though this is crazy, it gets even crazier when you realize that he is so well liked that he would probably win the presidential election if he were allowed to run.  Never stop being wacky, Brazilian politics.  (bbc.com)

WELL, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ILLEGALLY TAKE SOMEONE’S LAND AND FORCE THEM INTO A PRISON-LIKE GHETTO.  EVENTUALLY PEOPLE GET TIRED AND FIGHT BACK – Israeli troops have murdered dozens of protesters over the past few weeks as Palestinians have gathered on the non-official “border” in an attempt to get back to their ancestral lands.  Even though many of the Palestinians have actual legal documents from generations ago that state that it is their land, the Israeli government and friends still like to point at magical books and claim that it has more legal weight than actual deed and property records.  Even by the loosest interpretation of magical books, it’s really stretching it to think that the Hebrew tribes had that much of a authoritative presence beyond a few miles around Jerusalem.  So now we find ourselves in the usual position where Israel immediately calls anyone who disagrees with them as Hamas terrorists and where the Palestinians take things a little too far and vow to kill all the Jews.  So just another day in the Middle East.  (bbc.com)

ONE DAY HISTORY WILL LOOK BACK AND MARVEL THAT DENNIS RODMAN AND USB DRIVES WERE THE KEY TO UNIFYING SOUTH AND NORTH KOREA.  HISTORY IS WEIRD – North Korea and South Korea have been very chummy recently and things are starting to look up for a possible friendly relationship between the two countries and, hopefully, some type of long-term unification plan.  The always excellent Discover Magazine blog has an great article on how the small and efficient USB drive has been a God-send for people in North Korea who want a taste of the outside world and how the USB information wave led to the positive reaction of the audience at a recent K-Pop concert in Pyongyang.  Although the USB drive is an important piece of the puzzle, let us never forget Dennis Rodman’s role in opening up the lines of communication and the fact that Donald Trump is such a horrible and vile idiot that South Korea feels that it can negotiate more with Kim Jong Un than with whatever idiots Donald Trump has chosen to represent America in Korea.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)