Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/30/2018


EL PASO AND JUAREZ ARE “OFFICIALLY” SISTER CITIES!  THIS IS LIKE WHEN PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR YEARS RANDOMLY DECIDE TO JUST GET THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE – Although most people know that El Paso and Juarez (and Las Cruces) make up the core of the Greater Mogollon region, the sister city/twin city designation was apparently never official.  That all changed this week with a signing ceremony at the Plaza De Los Lagartos that made the sister city agreement official and concluded the surprisingly complex “sister city” process that began last year.  As a result of the event, El Paso Mayor Dee Margo and Juarez Mayor Armando Cabada stated that they hope this helps bring a common vision to the area and strengthens economic ties in the region.  So basically everyone will keep on doing what they were already doing but now there will be a fancy framed certificate on the wall!  If not already, I hope Las Cruces gets in on the act and signs a sister cities agreement with both Juarez and El Paso.  We don’t want Las Cruces to get left out.  (

LOOKS LIKE SUNLAND PARK MALL ISN’T DEAD AFTER ALL – Kudos to the Kimmelman family for expanding their Starr Western Wear empire and helping the ailing Sunland Park Mall in the process.  They did this for business and financial reasons, obviously, but It is nice that a local company is one of the first major entities to step up and try to set up at the struggling mall.  The latest Starr Western Wear will take up the space where Macy’s used to be thanks to the Kimmelman’s buying up that empty space.  This news pretty much came out of nowhere but it is extremely welcome news.  Good luck to Starr Western Wear in their latest expansion.  I’m not much for western clothes, but I might just go buy a pair of new boots from the store once it opens up to support a great local business.  (

EVEN LAS CRUCES IS GETTING IN ON THIS CONSTRUCTION BOOM – Lost in all the news of development and store openings in Downtown El Paso and the rest of the city is the fact that Downtown Las Cruces is also going through its own redevelopment boom.  The two projects that are about to open in Downtown Las Cruces are the Amador Project and the new Las Cruces Visitor’s Center.  The Amador Project will bring a much needed late night venue to the area and will include a bar, restaurants and a rooftop lounge.  The Visitor’s Center will open next door and give people a taste of all there is to do in Las Cruces as well as offer shuttle rides to Spaceport America.  Things are looking up in the region and Las Cruces has some pretty cool projects coming up.  (


WHEN YOU ARE OUT THIS WEEKEND, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT A SPACESHIP DOESN’T FALL ON YOUR HEAD – As is the custom with large space stations that go out of control, China’s Tiangong-1 Space Lab will fall to Earth and some portions of the craft will survive re-entry and make it to Earth’s surface.  Scientists are expecting the largest pieces to hit harmlessly in the ocean, but the cone of uncertainty is still a bit worrying.  So be careful out there and possibly wear a hat and take your umbrella just in case.  You can’t really trust a giant mass of space junk that lost control years ago.  (

I’LL NEVER COMPLAIN ABOUT AN EL PASO DUST STORM EVER AGAIN – If you thought the dust storms in the Chihuahuan Desert were bad, then thank your lucky stars that you don’t live in Beijing.  Not to be outdone by the weirdo wind storm that brought sand from the Sahara to parts of Europe, a massive sandstorm hit Northeast Asia and took aim right at Beijing and other cities in the vicinity.  The storm was so massive that it even reached Korea and Japan.  The sand was bad, but coupled with Beijing’s pollution this led to a very grim scenario for the Chinese capital.  So next time you get stuck in an El Paso dust storm, you can think of how good you have it compared to other dusty parts of the world.  (

FACEBOOK IS FUCKING GARBAGE – There really is nothing more to say.  Facebook is really shitty.  Most social media companies are data mining assholes, but Facebook takes the skeeviness to a whole new level.  Not only do they not give a damn about the security of their users’ data, they practically sent out a memo that said that it was okay if people inadvertently died because of their service as long as they turned a profit.  Seriously, fuck this data mining social media bullshit.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/23/2018


GOD BLESS THE WONDERFUL MONEY-MAKING PONIES AT SUNLAND PARK – It’s that time of the year again, it’s time for the annual Sunland Park Derby!  And there’s no equine herpes in sight to stop this one!  One of the most important sporting events in the region will take place this Sunday as ponies from around the country will race at the Sunland Derby in order to win large cash prizes totaling $800,000 and points to guarantee a place in the Kentucky Derby.  The favorite for this race is All Out Blitz, but we’ll all be rooting for home track favorite Runaway Ghost to make Sunland proud.  God speed, ponies!  (

WELCOME BACK, FANCY RENOVATED EL PASO STREETCARS – After an extensive restoration, the first of the six El Paso Streetcars that will be rolling around Downtown El Paso has come back from the Pennsylvania.  Most of the ground work is done on the El Paso Streetcar project and now the waiting game begins as the fancy renovated streetcars return and then are tested before the service can start back up later in the year.  Who knows how successful this service will be, but this revived streetcar looks pretty fucking cool.  (

IF THE NEW TEAM ISN’T NAMED THE EL PASO COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY UNITED, I WILL BE GREATLY DISAPPOINTED – They’re having a contest to name the new Division 2, Sub-MLS futball team that MountainStar is bringing to El Paso and we recommend that everyone enter the contest and come up with the dumbest name imaginable.  Bonus points if you can work in an arena/stadium/Duranguito reference into the name of the team.  (


WE SALUTE THE “MARCH FOR OUR LIVES” STUDENTS FOR THEIR FIGHT AGAINST ARCHAIC GUN LAWS AND THE NRA’S PROPAGANDA MACHINE – The “March For Our Lives” protest will be occurring on Saturday and hundreds of thousands of people are expected to gather in Washington D.C. and other cities to demand that proper government action is taken to prevent psychos and idiots from owning high powered weaponry.  While the students from Douglas High School and others are just looking for some action on the topic (as opposed to the decades of inaction by the NRA-controlled cowards in the government), this will be spinned by the alt-right and their fascist ilk into a “librul plan ta take muh guns” propaganda storm.  Let’s get one thing straight, the “March For Our Lives” protesters are pissed off but they don’t want to take all of your guns – they just want responsible action against highly unnecessary semi-automatic weapons.  You know, basic restrictions like the ones we currently have that prevent idiots from owning rocket launchers.  Technically rocket launchers count as “arms” and should be allowed under the Second Amendment.  (

MEANWHILE IN SPAIN, CATALONIA IS STILL PISSED OFF – Because things aren’t already tense enough, the Madrid government decided it would be a great idea to arrest five Catalan politicians for being “dangerous” separatist leaders.  By now it’s apparent to everyone that Catalonia will not resort to violent means to get their deserved freedom, but that doesn’t stop Madrid from taking the heavy handed approach in order to distract from the serious issues that are actually facing Spain.  Clashes have been reported in Barcelona between police and protesters and things are only getting more chaotic in Spain.  (

IT SEEMS THAT, ONCE UPON A TIME, A STAR CAME PARTICULARLY CLOSE TO THE SOLAR SYSTEM AND ACTUALLY INTERACTED WITH OUR SOLAR SYSTEM’S OORT CLOUD.  BUT DON’T GET TOO EXCITED, IT’S NOT LIKE IT’S PLANET X OR NIBIRU OR ANYTHING ……. OR IS IT? (CUE UNSOLVED MYSTERIES THEME) – Thanks to the tracking of weirdo space objects that have strange orbits in and out of the Solar System, astronomers in Europe have deduced that a large object may have come into the Oort Cloud about 70,000 years ago and caused some of the objects in this area to come into the Solar System.  This tracking prediction just happens to be supported by the discovery of Scholz’s Star a few years back and the determination that it came near the Solar System at roughly that same time and place.  At the moment this is just considered a highly coincidental correlation, but it makes for some very good circumstantial evidence.  We’re not saying that Catastrophism is accurate, but it might have some truth to it.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/16/2018


BILLY ABRAHAM IS SLOWLY RUNNING OUT OF HIS NINE LIVES AND SOON HE WILL LOSE MOST OF HIS REAL ESTATE EMPIRE IN EL PASO – After a legal fight with his creditors, who were seeking a Chapter 7 Bankruptcy, Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Mott has ordered a trustee to be assigned to sell off Billy Abraham’s 11 El Paso properties to pay off his $1.3 million debt to the relatives of Juan Gabriel and others.  Though his creditors argued that his finances and records were so muddled that more information was needed to determine how much he actually earns and what exactly it is he owns, it appears the judge will allow just the 11 registered Billy Abraham properties to be sold to cover his debts.  The money from the sale of the 11 buildings should be more than enough to cover the debt and Billy Abraham will live to fight another day with whatever businesses and real estate he has stuffed away in partnerships and corporations.  So though we are nearing the end of the nine lives of Billy Abraham, this is not the last you will hear of his wacky business adventures.  (

UTEP HAS A NEW BASKETBALL COACH!  LET’S HOPE THE NEW COACH CAN MANAGE A SEASON WITHOUT MULTIPLE PLAYERS LEAVING EVERY OTHER WEEK – Let the next chapter of UTEP Basketball begin.  Rodney Terry has left Fresno State and will be the new head basketball coach at UTEP.  He had some success at Fresno and felt that he had done all he could at Fresno State; either that or he was just looking for an excuse to get out of Fresno.  Good luck to new coach Rodney Terry and hopefully he can take UTEP out of the athletic doldrums they are currently in.  The next few seasons will be a rebuilding period, but if he can get the team to at least the NIT on an yearly basis after a few years that would be a major improvement.  It’s Confernece USA, a storied program like UTEP has no excuse not to get into at least the NIT on an yearly basis.  (

VERONICA ESCOBAR WON THE DEMOCRATIC PRIMARY WITH OVER 60 PERCENT OF THE VOTE AND BEAT THE CLOSEST COMPETITOR BY MORE THAN 20 PERCENTAGE POINTS.  SOMEHOW, NORMA CHAVEZ THINKS THIS MEANS THAT THERE WAS “HACKING” INVOLVED AND HER LACK OF VOTES IS NOT BECAUSE MOST OF THE PEOPLE IN THE CITY THINK SHE IS AN IDIOT – If you ever needed proof that most of the people who run for public office in El Paso are crazy idiots, look no further than the latest publicity stunt by Norma Chavez, Enrique Garcia and John Carrillo.  Normally election fraud is alleged when it is a close race and a few votes are moved to swing an election.  When you are leading in the polls and win by more than twenty percentage points it would be pretty stupid and a bit of overkill to engage in “hard drive hacking” as alleged by Norma Chavez and friends.  This scheme is so stupid and absurd that even 2nd place finisher Dori Fenenbock is staying out of the whole mess and Fenenbock took part in the almost as stupid Children’s Hospital publicity stunt that the idiot posse put together just before the election.  If anything, you can always count on El Paso politics to have a little crazy and stupid thrown in to make things entertaining.  (


SOUTH AFRICAN PRESIDENT JACOB ZUMA IS FINALLY BEING PROSECUTED FOR CORRUPTION ALMOST A DECADE AFTER THE ALLEGED GRAFT AND RACKETEERING OCCURRED.  IF SOUTH AFRICA CAN DO IT, SO CAN AMERICA.  LET’S JUST HOPE IT’S SOONER THAN A DECADE FOR THE IDIOT IN THE WHITE HOUSE TO FACE THE MUSIC – When not dealing with water shortages and the killing of random white farmers, the people of South Africa have to deal with corruption and incompetence from their leaders.  But things are looking up.  President Zuma was forced to resign his presidency last month and now the new leadership is pursuing the corruption allegations that have plagued Zuma and his cronies for years.  None of this will bring the water back, end the prejudice or fix the economy any time soon – but it’s a start.  Let’s hope that the saying “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” also applies to nations.  (

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, BENDER IS DRINKING A FORTY IN HONOR OF STEPHEN HAWKING – Famed Futurama character, and brilliant physicist, Stephen Hawking has died.  In addition to being a character on Futurama and The Simpsons, Stephen Hawking is best known for his work with relativity and quantum mechanics as well as his insight into black holes.  At age 22 he was given only a few years to live as he gradually lost most of his physical control to a rare disease and had to depend on a motorized wheelchair to move around and a computerized voice to speak.  He proved those doctors wrong and lived to age 78 and managed to produce some of his most important work after that time.  Perhaps more amazing than any of his work in physics is that he managed to leave his wife and shack up with another woman all while in this condition.  He had game.  Rest in Peace, Stephen Hawking.  (

THAT SWEEPING SOUND YOU HERE IS AUSTIN AUTHORITIES TRYING TO SWEEP THE TERRORIST MAIL BOMBINGS UNDER THE RUG IN ORDER NOT TO DISTURB THE ONGOING GENERIC CORPORATE MEDIA EVENT #1138 2018 TAKING PLACE IN AUSTIN AT THIS TIME – Terrorist mail bombings have occurred multiple times this month in Austin, killing 2 people and injuring others.  Because the victims are minorities and the bomb senders have not been identified as Muslims and/or immigrants, no one seems to care and this is just being considered a “random crime”.  But rest assured, if random white people had been targeted by Muslim immigrants then Donald Trump himself would have tweeted about this for 5 days straight and this week’s Generic Corporate Media Event #1138 2018 would have been cut short.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/09/2018


THE CITY OF SOCORRO DOUBLES DOWN ON THE STUPID IN THEIR ATTEMPT TO JUSTIFY A COP GIVING ULTRA PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT TO A GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL.  JUST WHEN YOU THINK SOCORRO IS ON THE CUSP OF LIVING UP TO ITS POTENTIAL, THEY GO AROUND AND DO SOMETHING AMAZINGLY CORRUPT AND/OR STUPID – Socorro government officials are known to bend the rules and in the past have gotten caught messing around with the placement of political campaign signs, the paving of home driveways, the naming of streets, attempted bribes for annexation targets and sketchy business deals.  But this latest scandal ranks right up there with the skeeviest of all Socorro government clusterfucks.  This all started when City Manager Adriana Rodarte’s son, Diego Salais, was pulled over in late January for speeding and admitted to drinking alcohol AND was found with a white substance on his nose that tested positive for cocaine.  Despite all of this, the little fucker wasn’t charged with anything and they called mommy to pick him up.  A normal person would have been breathalyzed to death and been charged with drug trafficking for the trace cocaine on the nose, but they didn’t even bother to properly test his blood alcohol level!  Instead of doing something about it, the government in Socorro decided to extend the City Manager’s contract and said that the Socorro cop was an “expert in DWI” (because DWI is like a martial art now) and that he has the authority to pick and choose, at will, who is drunk or not.  This would have probably been swept under the rug if the dash-cam video hadn’t been leaked by a heroic whistle-blower and that appears to be the only thing the Socorro government officials are mad about.  A crooked cop did a solid for an equally crooked government official and let someone who had been drinking AND doing cocaine AND driving erratically go free, but the Socorro council is mad because they have BIG BAD LEAKERS in the office.  DWI laws are fucking stupid, but if you must have overkill laws it would be nice if everyone had to follow the same rule book regardless of who your mommy is.  (

RECYCLABLE MATERIALS ARE SOLD FOR PROFIT BY INDIVIDUALS WHO COLLECT THEM YET THE CITY OF EL PASO PAYS SOMEONE TO TAKE THE RECYCLABLES.  YUP, THAT’S PAR FOR THE COURSE FOR THE CITY OF EL PASO GOVERNMENT – Because governments are lazy and incompetent, the City of El Paso is in the midst of a contract dispute with Friedman Recycling Company who wants MORE money to take the recyclables that it then sells for EVEN MORE money to people who process the recyclables.  The current sob story is that China isn’t buying certain recyclable materials anymore and now they need the city to increase what it pays them in order to protect their current profit margin.  The city could probably just create a department filled with homeless people that sorts recyclables and just let them keep whatever money they make re-selling the materials, but I’m sure the city would screw that up and Tommy Gonzalez would just hire one of his Dallas friends to “manage” that department for a $150,000 salary.  To put it in perspective, this is the equivalent of having a garage sale and paying people to take your stuff.  Government recycling programs might be a bit inefficient.  (

THE EL PASO COMMUNITY FOUNDATION AND THE CITY OF EL PASO WANT TO MAKE SCENIC DRIVE A NICER PLACE TO PARK YOUR CAR AND HAVE SEX – In more happier local news, it looks like Scenic Drive and the lookout Murchison Park area will finally get a makeover.  The renderings look great and will really give people a reason to take visitors and potential lovers up there.  Sure, we’ll miss the rusted metal, dangerous access and overall lack of safe parking – but this is the price of progress.  Hopefully this partnership works out and this awesome local attraction finally gets some monetary love instead of the illicit carnal love it normally sees.  (


DESPITE THE LONG STANDING POLICY THAT AMERICAN LEADERS WOULD NOT MEET DIRECTLY WITH NORTH KOREA UNTIL THEY ELIMINATE THEIR NUCLEAR WEAPONS, DONALD TRUMP WILL MEET WITH KIM JONG UN.  IF OBAMA WOULD HAVE DONE THIS, REPUBLICANS WOULD HAVE SHOT HIM ON THE SPOT AND CALLED HIM A FOREIGN TERRORIST – So despite confusion and concern from government officials, it seems that Donald Trump and Kim Jong Un WILL actually meet up and try to negotiate a deal for peace on the Korean peninsula.  Kim Jong Un already won the first round by even getting this far, so let’s see how much he can get out of Donald “Great Negotiator” Trump.  By the end of the year it’s possible that North Korea will own Guam, the Aleutian Islands and Hawaii while Donald Trump gets a fake gold watch in return.  Anything is possible when you have an idiot toddler in the White House.  (

AN EX-RUSSIAN SPY AND HIS DAUGHTER WERE ATTACKED IN ENGLAND BY SOMEONE USING A DEADLY AND RARE NERVE AGENT.  GEE, I WONDER WHO HAS ACCESS TO RARE AND DEADLY NERVE AGENTS AND COULD HAVE ORDERED THIS ATTACK?  COUGHPUTINCOUGH – Sergei Skripal and his daughter, Yulia, were the targets in an apparent assassination attempt that used a very nasty nerve agent.  The pair survived but are in critical condition.  No one has claimed responsibility but it’s pretty fucking obvious that Putin and Russia were behind the attack.  Putin himself could be on video delivering the poison with a giant jug marked ‘poison’ and the fuckers would still deny it.  Meanwhile, Donald Trump and his compromised cronies have remained silent on this terrorist act and are probably just waiting for talking points from daddy Putin.  (

DON’T FORGET YOUR GOOD LUCK CHARM!  YOU’LL NEED IT IF YOU WANT TO BE SUCCESSFUL – Although amazingly hard to accurately study, there have been multiple scientific studies to try and determine how much of a role talent and luck play in a person’s financial success.  The most recent scientific study involved a model that was developed by researchers at the University of Catania which found that luck is quite important in an individual’s success.  Although this doesn’t mean that you should just give up on working hard and just buy a bunch of lottery tickets, it does go to show that often the most skilled people aren’t always the most successful.  So work your ass off and pray to God you get a few lucky breaks if you really want to be financially successful.  (


Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 03/02/2018


EL PASO DISTRICT ATTORNEY JAIME ESPARZA ISN’T VERY GOOD AT HIS JOB.  HE’S SO BAD AT HIS JOB THAT EVEN UTEP FOOTBALL COACHES MARVEL AT HIS INCOMPETENCE – For a second time, a Judge has declared a mistrial in the case of Devon Huerta and the punch that “may or may not” have killed Constable Robert White back in Halloween of 2014.  Though there was no hard evidence that Devon Huerta delivered the punch that “may or may not” have led to Constable White’s eventual deadly heart attack, the DA still decided to proceed with a Jury Trial for some stupid ass reason that is only known to Jaime Esparza.  I assume he just wanted to waste taxpayer money as he grandstanded for votes by showing how much he loves law enforcement.  At most, this should have been some basic assault plea deal but it ended up as two costly trials because DA Jaime Esparza wanted to appear “tough”.  Now we wait and see if it goes back to trial or if something else can be worked out.  By now DA Esparza should have known that the juries in El Paso and Las Cruces don’t really like cops and are usually stacked with morons who will gladly let someone get away with murder if it satisfies some random agenda that only exists in their head.   (

OH GOODY!  EL PASO IS GETTING ANOTHER DIVISION 2 SPORTS TEAM.  WE’RE REALLY HITTING THE BIG TIME NOW!  /S – After finally realizing that they really aren’t that important or powerful the members of MountainStar Sports Group have given up on their plans to get an MLS team and have settled for a division 2 futball team in the USL.  Although it should be noted that the MLS really, really sucks balls and by international futball standards it is probably division 3 thus making El Paso’s new team a division 4 team at best.  Regardless, MountainStar Sports is hyping this up and is trying to drum up support for a downtown stadium.  Though after the debacle with the multipurpose arena, no politician with any brain is going to touch that project with a ten foot pole.  If they build the stadium with their own money that would be awesome, but in the current climate there is no way in hell any of the local government agencies commit to this without risking their ass in future elections.  Our local government will sooner build a monument to Billy Abraham in downtown El Paso before they do another controversial sports complex deal.  (

FOR THOSE WONDERING IF THAT DOME GOING UP NEAR DOWNTOWN ON I-10 IS RELATED TO ALIENS ……. NO, IT’S NOT ALIENS.  UNLESS ALIENS ARE SILENTLY INVESTING IN ROOFING MATERIALS – The Gabbo-tastic dome that has been going up near Downtown El Paso has been attracting attention since construction started and now we know what exactly is going on in that building.  Thanks to KDBC, who simply asked the owner what was going on, we now know that the dome is being built as a showroom for foam roofing company Foam Applications LLC.  The company is owned by Francisco Molinar and he has apparently been working on this business with his family for quite some time.  Although foam roofing doesn’t sound very sexy, the building looks like it’s going to be a fresh an eye-catching architectural experience.  And if all else fails, the family can just lease the building which will inevitably become a strip club called “One Giant Boob Club”.  (


AT LEAST IT’S NOT A NUCLEAR WAR.  IF THE IDIOT TODDLER IN THE WHITE HOUSE MUST START A WAR, IT’S BETTER IF IT’S JUST A TRADE WAR – In one of his most ignorant moves yet, Donald Trump has committed to steel and aluminum tariffs because he thinks the rest of the world will just let him do whatever he wants without retaliation and because “trade wars are easy to win”.  He’s doing this to kiss ass in the Rust Belt for upcoming elections, but doesn’t understand the basics of economics and can’t see how this will fuck over the rest of the country when the price of all other goods start to rise as a result of other countries and their inevitable retaliatory tariffs.  Donald Trump is a complete, fucking cunt.  (

PRESIDENT XI JINPING OF CHINA IS ON THE VERGE OF DECLARING HIMSELF DE FACTO DICTATOR FOR LIFE.  BUT DID YOU KNOW HE HAS ALSO BANNED WINNIE THE POOH IN CHINA?  THE MONSTER! – China has a weirdo communist/capitalist system in place that once made a big deal of limiting term limits because of Chairman Mao and the horrible shit parade that his decades in power ultimately created.  But now the weirdo communist/capitalist system will bend the rules it created because President Xi Jinping wants to be president for life and the country is stable enough that no one in power really cares if he stays or not.  In the run up to this historical change to the government rules, the Chinese government has been cracking down on phrases like “election term” and “emperor for life” from internet posts but also erasing pictures of Winnie the Pooh from the internet.  Why is Winnie the Pooh a resistance figure in China?  Well, it turns out that President Xi Jinping has a striking resemblance to the lovable, portly bear and the Chinese people use Winnie the Pooh as a replacement figure when they indirectly want to criticize their president.  Do yourself a favor and look for Xi Jinping/Winnie the Pooh comparison pictures on the internet.  You won’t be disappointed.  All hail Chinese Emperor Winnie the Pooh!  (

IT IS ACADEMY AWARDS TIME!  WILL THE SEQUEL / REMAKE / RE-IMAGINING / HOMAGE TO THE CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON WIN BEST PICTURE?  YOU’LL HAVE TO WATCH THE CEREMONY ON SUNDAY TO FIND OUT – The Oscars will be taking place in Hollywood this Sunday and that can only mean one thing ……. THE SIMPLE MINDED ENTERTAINMENT TOURNAMENT OF FILM IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.  So once the New York / Los Angeles Film Awards take place this Sunday, the movie prize that really matters can finally be decided.  Onward to the 2018 Simple Minded Tournament of Film!  (