Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 01/12/2018


AT THIS RATE, BILLY ABRAHAM WILL RUN OUT OF BUILDINGS BY THE END OF THE YEAR – Billy Abraham has been one of the most irresponsible building owners in Downtown El Paso for years, either neglecting his properties or not paying loans related to his buildings.  It seems this bad karma is finally coming back to bite him in the ass as a second building  of his is in the process of being foreclosed and sold to a new owner.  After losing the train depot on Campbell St. via fancy legal wrangling by Isha Rogers and Steve Santamaria, Billy Abraham is about to lose the historic Toltec Building to the same exact duo via the same blueprint of buying up debt and foreclosing on the property.  Billy Abraham is putting up a legal fight to stop the process, but like last time it just seems he is delaying the inevitable.  And after all the years of neglect and thumbing his nose at the local government, Billy Abraham doesn’t have too much sympathy in the city.  It looks like the framework is in place and now we wait and see how many of his buildings he will actually be able to hold onto as time rolls by.  The good news is that all these wonderful historic buildings will finally be renovated and put to good use.  (

ALTHOUGH NOT AS RICH AS PAUL FOSTER, LANE GADDY HAS EMERGED AS THE SECOND-MOST PROLIFIC HIGH QUALITY PROPERTY DEVELOPER IN PASO DEL NORTE.  HE’S LIKE THE SCOTTIE PIPPEN OF EL PASO PROPERTY DEVELOPMENT – When he’s not restoring Downtown El Paso buildings to their full historic splendor, Lane Gaddy is using his recycling empire to develop land in Santa Teresa.  The latest addition to the Lane Gaddy property empire is over 2,000 acres in Santa Teresa that his investment group hopes will be used for a variety of land uses and not just industrial.  Santa Teresa is booming and it will be a major community in a few years so it’s good to see that someone responsible like Lane Gaddy will have a hand in how the place develops.  Speaking of responsible developments, maybe Lane Gaddy can buy up some of those foreclosure properties that are soon to be popping up in Downtown.  (

THE MAJOR ISSUE IS THAT THE COUNTY PAYS A SHITLOAD OF MONEY TO MAINTAIN A PARK INSIDE CITY LIMITS WHEN IT SHOULD INSTEAD BE FOCUSING ON PARKS IN THE PARTS OF THE COUNTY THAT DON’T HAVE A A CITY PARK SYSTEM.  BUT LET’S INSTEAD FOCUS ON BOOZE AT THE SPORTSPARK.  THAT’S OBVIOUSLY THE MAJOR ISSUE HURTING EL PASO COUNTY’S FINANCES – Because the El Paso County government loves nothing more than to waste time and money, they asked random people at the Sportspark their opinions on booze and will use that as the sole reason to stop alcohol sales at the Sportspark.  So now the park will get less revenue and taxpayers will have to pay more money for a park that should have just been transferred to the City of El Paso Parks department.  But at least the pearl-clutchers in the government got to say a “scientific” survey says drinking in a park is bad and thus we must protect the people of El Paso from themselves.  This will cost taxpayers more money on the white elephant county parks, but at least the elected officials got to pat themselves on the back.  So just another day of financial mismanagement in the offices of the El Paso County government.  (


AT LEAST THE Y DON’T GET HURRICANES IN CALIFORNIA ……. YET – Not to be outdone by earthquakes and wildfire, mud has decided that it too will kill people and cause havoc in California.  Santa Barbara and the surrounding region just can’t catch a break as the land that was previously devastated by wildfires less than a month ago is now the site of massive flooding and mudslides.  Over a dozen people are dead and hundreds have no place to go as the mudslides have taken a swipe at areas spared the brunt of the wildfires wrath.  It is believed that the wildfires and dead vegetation have contributed to the mudslide-happy conditions in the area because water can no longer be absorbed by the ground.  But building on a hillside is always a risky proposition, especially when land is reclaimed in arroyo-like areas where the water likes to flow.  I would say things are going to get better, but I don’t want to jinx it considering California’s crazy weather.  (

THAT’S ONE HELL OF AN ENVIRONMENTAL DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN – An Iranian oil tanker has collided with a Chinese cargo ship 160 miles from Shanghai and the result is nothing short of severe.  While survivors were recovered from the cargo ship, no survivors were found from the tanker that caught fire shortly after the impact.  The fire is so bad that the ship is still burning almost a week after the impact and it doesn’t seem like the fire is close to being contained.  At the moment there is no spill, but the Sanchi tanker is filled with the light oil known as condensate which will not create a messy spill on the surface but will instead just explode or slowly be released into the deep ocean if the vessel sinks.  Either way, this is going to be one hell of an environmental disaster in this part of the ocean.  (

THERE IS APPARENTLY TONS OF ACCESSIBLE ICE ON MARS.  WE JUST NEED TO FIND SOME BOOZE ON THE PLANET AND WE CAN MOVE IN NEXT WEEK! – After increased studies of Mars, it seems like humanity is unlocking more and more of the red planet’s secrets on a weekly basis.  Not only is there ice on Mars but, according to a recent study that used the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter, it was found that there are at least eight sites with eroded slopes that are covering up large shelves of ice that are hundreds of feet thick.  These sites are important because they can be the perfect sites for future colonists to set up camp and use the ice deposits for water and fuel.  Maybe all those whackos saying that Mars will be colonized within our lifetime aren’t so whacko after all.  (


Simple Minded Weekly-RECAPITATION! – 01/05/2018


SOCORRO IS MAKING A WELL THOUGH OUT AND RATIONAL PLANNING DECISION?  WHAT TYPE OF BIZARRO WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN?  – The City of Socorro has shocked many by making a very smart move to expand its connections to I-10 with the construction of a new road east of Horizon that will connect North Loop to the freeway.  At the moment the city only has Horizon as a major arterial connection to I-10 and with the proposed expansion of Bauman Road the city will have another connection to alleviate the crazy traffic on Horizon Boulevard.  Coupled with the Eastlake expansion, this will give the City of Socorro a large financial shot in the arm as most of the lots on those streets will be high priced commercial lots that pay more in taxes than standard residential areas.  The city will now work with the Metropolitan Planning Organization to get this project off the ground.  Good job, Socorro government.  Keep on doing stuff like this instead of all the other stupid stuff you usually do.  (

NEVER STOP YOUR CAR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREEWAY TO GET INTO A FIGHT.  YOU’D THINK THAT WOULD BE OBVIOUS, BUT APPARENTLY SOME PEOPLE IN EL PASO NEED TO BE REMINDED OF THIS – In perhaps the most preventable traffic death in the city’s history, two idiots (Jonathan Perez and Carlos Hoyos) got into a road rage pissing match on Loop 375 and decided to stop in the middle of the freeway to yell at each other.  That genius decision caused a major crash that resulted in the death of one of the passengers in the stopped vehicle.  This is your weekly reminder that driving while stupid is waaaaaaaaaaay more dangerous than driving while intoxicated.  Maybe the cops will create a safety campaign where they set up random checkpoints to give IQ tests and make sure people aren’t driving while stupid.  (

ACCORDING TO THE MAX GROSSMAN SCHOOL OF HISTORIC PRESERVATION, YOU ONLY DEFEND “HISTORIC” DISTRICTS FOR PROPERTIES THAT ALLOW YOU TO GRANDSTAND LIKE A PRAT ON TV – Thanks to some clever boundary wrangling, Community College will not have to follow historical district guidelines and will build a bland, lifeless building in an actual historic neighborhood that has some very beautiful buildings around it.  Fuck, the architects that designed the EPCC parking garage really suck ass. Even though the “activists” go crazy when you talk about tearing down some cinder block buildings in an area that isn’t even a historic district.  When an ugly ass building goes up in an ACTUAL historic district the “activists” don’t do anything because KVIA isn’t there to felLate them and their bullshit historical fairy tales.  Maybe if they call the district Communitycollegito they will show up to at least make sure the new fucking Community College Rio Grande Campus parking garage sort of matches the beautiful architecture in the area.  Do yourself a favor and look at the renderings for the building.  Yikes, that’s a horrible building.  Did the fucking architects who designed that even go to school or did they just buy the generic plans at Wal-Mart?  (


BEFORE YOU START MAKING CLEVER JOKES ABOUT HOW THE ULTRA COLD WEATHER IN THE EASTERN US IS A SIGN THAT GLOBAL WARMING IS A HOAX.  PLEASE LEARN THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CLIMATE AND WEATHER.  AND THE CORRECT TERM IS CLIMATE CHANGE NOT GLOBAL WARMING – It’s colder than Lucifer’s teats in the Eastern U.S., but don’t let that lull you into the belief that this is a sign that that the Earth isn’t getting hotter.  In fact, increased extreme weather is a sign that the overall temperature is going up and making things more chaotic.  And if you really want to see hot weather, just check out what’s happening in Australia where it is currently summer.  They are expecting high temperatures not seen in decades and the asphalt in some roads is even melting!  (

WHEN YOUR ONLY OTHER OPTION IS HAVING A MORON LIKE DONALD TRUMP ACT AS A MEDIATOR, YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST DEAL WITH THE MORON IN NORTH KOREAN DIRECTLY – South Korea is using the upcoming Winter Olympics in Pyeonchang as an opportunity to engage in high level talks with North Korea.  The talks are mainly aimed at getting a North Korean delegation to attend the Olympic games but they are hoping it will pave the way towards more productive talks on more important issues.  The fact that South Korea is taking the lead in all of this just shows how little faith they have in America and Donald Trump’s idiotic blabbing style of diplomacy.  Maybe Donald Trump has inadvertently done something good via his stupidity!  (

DONALD TRUMP WILL ALWAYS BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – It’s been awhile since we last checked with the idiot in the White House, but this week saw the Mueller investigation continue to inch closer to criminal charges on the moron and someone wrote a book that detailed all the stupidity and backstabbing going on in the administration.  So business as usual for Donald Trump and friends.  Perhaps the most shocking thing about Michael Wolff and his book Fire and Fury is that Donald Trump and his cronies let him hang around the White House for months and observe all the incompetence first hand.  How fucking stupid can they be?  What type of book did they think he was going to write?  Damn, fuck Donald Trump.  (