Month: July 2017

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/28/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WORLD’S WORT FUNDRAISING ORGANIZATION ASKS GOVERNMENT FOR MORE MONEY BECAUSE IT’S NOT GOOD AT FUNDRAISING – One of the more absurd items in the El Paso 2012 Quality of Life Bond vote was the Mexican American Cultural Center.  No one in the city actually wanted this thing, since El Paso is like 99% Mexican, and the last thing we need is a fucking building to stroke our ego.  But certain “Latino Champions of the People” in City Hall pushed for this asinine project in order to come off as “leaders” for the “poor Latino masses of El Paso”.  The project was so pointless that only a few million was earmarked for the project in the hopes that it would be built quickly like the Digital Wall (remember that project) and then forgotten and placed on the back burner.  The “activists” kept on bitching, however, and the project ballooned in scope and will now wrap around the Abraham Chavez Theatre like some sort of government parasite and will cost tens of millions of dollars.  Part of this compromise for expansion involved a non-profit formed by the “activists” and “Latino Champions of the People” that would spearhead the project and raise millions of dollars to match the increased funding the city was willing to put up.  Naturally, the idiots were incompetent and managed to not only fail at fundraising but actually lost money in the process.  But at least a couple of dumbasses got some cash for being “executive directors” and “board members” and to pretend to raise money.  So now the people in charge of fundraising are giving up and just asking the city to give them all the money to complete their dream project that no one really wants.  Fuck, it’s not like the idiots running this thing know anything about real Mexican American culture.  Just paint a mural with some Aztecs on the side of some random building and put up pictures of Cesar Chavez inside and they can pretend to be enlightened Latino warriors.  Heaven forbid the city use tens of millions of dollars for important things like roads and public safety.  (kvia.com)

TXDOT IS FINALLY GETTING AROUND TO FIXING THE REST OF I-10 ASIDE FROM THE AREA AROUND UTEP.  ALTHOUGH TXDOT ALREADY KNOWS HOW THEY ARE GOING TO SCREW THINGS UP, THEY’RE STILL HOLDING MEETINGS TO HEAR THE PUBLIC’S INPUT AS THEY ROLL THEIR EYES – The “Reimagine I-10” feasibility study is the latest public input project from txdot to go along with their “Go 10” project and every other project that they come up with every few years with “10” in the title.  They are asking for public input on how to improve multiple segments of the I-10 corridor from the New Mexico state line to the Fabens/Clint area, so if you have a concern with I-10 (don’t we all) go to the public meetings and let them know your great idea.  If enough people bug them, txdot might actually do something about it.  As long as they add more freeway access points (especially between Zaragoza and Lee Trevino), and make sure the Gateway has full connectivity over the entire length of the freeway the project should be moderately successful.  And would it kill them to finally connect Pendale under the freeway along with all those other streets that awkwardly end at the freeway and then pick up on the other side?  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

AT THIS RATE, ONE DAY CHICO THE CHIHUAHUA WILL BE ON THE OFFICIAL CITY LOGO GLEEFULLY RIDING A WRECKING BALL WITH NO CLOTHES – If you like corn mazes AND Chico the Chihuahua, we have some great news for you.  It has just been announced that the official theme for the upcoming La Union Maze will be the El Paso Chihuahuas and feature Chico’s giant head right in the middle.  So if you just can’t get enough of Chico now you’ll be able to get lost inside him ……. okay, that sounded weird but the maze promises to be cool and PG-rated.  So go check out the maze come Autumn and support drunkenly wandering around corn fields and anthropomorphic dogs who sell you cheap beer on Thursdays.  El Paso loves Chico the Chihuahua almost as much as it loves booze!  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

LOST AMONG THE DAILY SHUFFLE OF NEWS ITEMS, IS THE PLIGHT OF THE PEOPLE OF YEMEN AND THEIR ONGOING SAUDI-INFLUENCED CIVIL WAR.  THIS IS US ATTEMPTING TO GATHER ATTENTION FOR THIS IMPORTANT NEWS STORY.  PLEASE READ – The BBC just published an excellent report by Orla Guerin on all the problems being faced by civilians in Yemen that their government is trying to sweep under the rug.  The conflict in Yemen between the government and Houthi rebels has been going on for 2 years and it has not helped that Saudi Arabia has decided to use the situation to project its “power” in the region and make things that much worse.  Although North Korea, Russia, Venezuela, Brexit and random terrorist stories get most of the limelight when it comes to international news in America – the situation in Yemen is something that more people should know about.  The sanitation and medical issues facing civilians in the country are massive and it’s possible that Cholera will end up killing more of the population than guns or bombs.  If more people pay attention maybe the US government and UN will focus a little more attention on the Saudi-led clusterfuck in Yemen.  (bbc.com)

TURNS OUT KIDS AND YOUNGER GENERATIONS AREN’T REALLY BETTER AT USING TECHNOLOGY THAN EVERYONE ELSE.  THEY JUST THINK THEY ARE BETTER AT IT THAN EVERYONE ELSE.  THANKS TO SCIENCE WE NOW KNOW THAT ALL GENERATIONS ARE JUST AS FULL OF SHIT AS EVERYONE ELSE – “Digital Natives” was a term coined by trendy educators a few decades ago to imply that children that grow up with computers and new technology develop super powers that let them adapt and learn those new technologies faster than everyone else and in the process need to be taught differently because they can magically multi-task better than everyone else.  Turns out that whole “digital native millennial magic” idea was a bunch of crap.  Research by Paul Kirschner from the Open University in the Netherlands shows that the “digital native” idea is mostly a myth and that all people learn and deal with technology in similar ways and that major changes in educating young people in relation to technology is not particularly effective.  To summarize, just because your fucking kid can play a video game on a tablet does not mean they are fucking geniuses who will one day become tech billionaires and thus need “special treatment” at school.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

SO ……. STEVE BANNON SUCKS HIS OWN COCK – This week Donald Trump continued to be a complete, fucking cunt and failed miserably in regards to ending Obamacare, fell deeper into the Russia pit as well as saying many stupid ass things as usual.  But nothing sums the incompetence of the Donald Trump team more than the hiring of Anthony Scaramucci who then proceeded to talk to a reporter and go on the record with a profanity-laced rant against “leakers” and the White House staff that included the horrible mental image of Steve Bannon engaging in self-fellatio.  Donald Trump is a true role model for the country and the evangelicals in the red states should be proud that they voted for him.  Some people say that the Scaramucci hire and rant was part of an elaborate distraction campaign to cover up the Obamacare fiasco and the additional Russia news that came out this week, but that’s giving these idiots wayyyyyyyy too much credit.  (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/23/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S MONSOONAGEDDON 2017!  EVERYBODY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES – The yearly monsoon has taken up residence in the western part of North America and that means vital rain has come to Paso del Norte and the surrounding Mogollon region.  While the rain is a welcome sign in the desert, sometimes too much of it can cause problems for some people that bought houses that were built on top of arroyos or flood plains.  Naturally, the local media lives for making mountains out of mole hills and decided to turn a sinkhole on the Westside and the yearly flooding in Socorro into end of the world front page news.  Though hats off to KDBC for going beyond the absurd and turning some random resident’s idiotic suggestion to bring in the National Guard to protect 5 houses into the main scope of the story.  This is the equivalent of a child asking for Superman’s help because he dropped his ice cream on the floor and then KDBC running a headline that reads, “Superman Expected To Help Children In El Paso Soon!  How Will Duranguito React?”.  So enjoy the rain and never buy a house that was built on land that used to be an arroyo or a flood plain.  Just because you can bulldoze over an arroyo, doesn’t mean that it should be bulldozed.  (kvia.com / cbs4local.com)

ONE DAY EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE WORLD WILL HAVE A LAWSUIT OR SOME SORT OF LEGAL PROCEEDING PENDING AGAINST BILLY ABRAHAM – Billy Abraham continues to be his old skeevy self and nothing will ever change him.  Billy Abraham literally killed someone and went to prison and he’s back with crazy business transactions and conflicts with the government within months of his release.  The latest instance of Billy Abraham being Billy Abraham has a state judge accusing Billy of perjury and other things for allegedly trying to get one of his friends to lie to the court over the exact date the elevator at the Toltec Building was shut down.  The elevator in his building was never going to be repaired, so a normal person would have just shut down the elevator on the date ordered by the government and try to make any necessary changes to keep at least part of the building habitable.  Or better yet, just sell the damn building if you can’t afford to fix it.  That’s not the Billy Abraham way, so instead he kept the elevator running and tried to get his elevator repairman friend to lie about the dates and the working status of the elevator in a court setting.  And just to make things wackier, he involved his mom in the entire communication chain that got him in trouble with the judge.  Needless to say, Billy Abraham will just get off with a slap on the wrist and continue being Billy Abraham.  Nothing can stop Billy Abraham.  (elpasoinc.com)

FOR YOUR EDUCATIONAL MORSEL OF THE DAY, WE SUGGEST YOU READ STEVEN COTTINGHAM’S HERALD POST PIECE ON ST. ALBAN’S CHURCH IN CENTRAL EL PASO – St. Alban’s is the latest church to be highlighted as part of Steven Cottingham’s excellent series on the history of El Paso’s religious landmarks.  As always, the article is very informative and includes a beautiful photo essay to compliment the article.  So go check out the El Paso Herald Post and support this and their other excellent historical articles.  It really is a breath of fresh air to have someone do historical research on a building and then publish all the facts in an easily accessible article.  Maybe Max Grossman and the other so-called historians in Union Plaza can use this as a template and actually publish the history of the buildings in Union Plaza instead of using anecdotal evidence to create their mythical Duranguito Neighborhood.  At least one person is doing good historical writing in El Paso.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

CHECKING UP ON VENEZUELA, IT’S STILL NOT IN A FULL BLOWN CIVIL WAR BUT IT IS PRETTY DAMN CLOSE – Tensions continue to rise in Venezuela as the majority opposition National Assembly appointed 33 judges to the Supreme Court much to the chagrin of President Nicolas Maduro.  Although the National Assembly is within their right to appoint the judges, Maduro is desperate to cling to power and this will weaken his control over the courts.  Not to be outdone, Maduro is trying to re-write the constitution to give himself more power and possibly make himself God-Emperor of Venezuela.  Let’s hope Donald Trump doesn’t read this and gets ideas from Maduro.  So both sides in Venezuela are as far away from compromise as humanly possible and something’s gotta give sooner or later as the crisis continues.  At this point, anything that doesn’t end in a civil war would be considered a success in Venezuela.  (bbc.com)

NOW IF SOMEONE CAN JUST WRITE A SCIENTIFIC PAPER ON THE “ANAKIN EFFECT” AMONG YOUNG ACTORS – Peer reviewed scientific journals are the most up to date and accurate sources of information in the world, but due to the growth in global communication and the internet some low tier “scientific” journals have popped up over the years that have threatened the sanctity of the entire peer-reviewed journal process.  Thankfully, we have scientists and science aficionados that are keeping the ever growing journal industry honest by exposing the charlatans in the community.  One of the more humorous attempts to expose these quack journals is highlighted on the Discover Magazine blog and is based on the much derided Midichlorians mentioned in the Star Wars prequels that supposedly give Jedi’s their force powers.  You might not hear a peep about Midichlorians in the new trilogy, but at least they live on in scientific papers!  Do yourself a favor and read the entire absurd paper that was submitted and actually published by a few “journals”.  Star Wars prequel references have never made more sense.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

THE ANNUAL SAN DIEGO WAITING-IN-LINE CONVENTION WAS A BLAST! – If you like waiting in a line in order to get the opportunity to wait in another line that leads to another line, then San Diego Comic Con is the place for you.  Simple Minded Entertainment is a comic-centric entertainment site and, as such, we made our yearly trek to San Diego for Comic Con.  We had a great time observing what’s new and important in all things comic books, movies, science fiction, video games and more.  So basically we just walked around, waited in lines, watched panels and partied all under the guise of “working”.  Bless you, San Diego Comic Con.  We’ll be back next year.  (comic-con.org)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/14/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TOM DIAMOND IS DEAD.  LONG LIVE TOM DIAMOND – Thomas “Tom” Mulford Diamond was a local lawyer who was a great force in the local Democratic party and who is best remembered as being the person who was most instrumental in getting federal recognition for the Tigua Tribe and helping them secure their lands.  Tom Diamond passed away on July 8 and he will be greatly missed.  He led an amazing life and did incredible things for El Paso and the surrounding region.  Tom Diamond was one of the most significant figures in the Paso del Norte region during the 20th Century, yet the local media spent more time covering the cheese at Chico’s Tacos than they did covering this great man and his life.  But we won’t forget his legacy.  Rest in peace, Mr. Diamond.  (legacy.com)

JUST A SAD REMINDER THAT EL PASO COULD HAVE HAD A COMPETITIVE UTILITY MARKET, BUT LONG AGO CITY COUNCIL VOTED IDIOTICALLY TO STICK WITH A MONOPOLY FOR ELECTRICITY AND ALL OTHER UTILITIES – Yup, El Paso could have had competition for electricity but instead chose to let a monopoly control everything.  El Paso Electric isn’t even a public utility and the city still allowed them to be the only game in town.  There is still a chance for El Paso to have a logical competitive market, but all levels in the government would have to competently come together and work towards one unified goal.  So basically El Paso is getting a competitive market once hell freezes over.  (elpasoproud.com)

IF THE CHUCK DEBRODER BURGER DOESN’T COME WITH A RANDOM SHOT OF ALCOHOL I’M GOING TO BE SEVERELY DISAPPOINTED – Chuck DeBroder is a local celebrity and one of El Paso’s most legendary weathermen.  Now the KTSM meteorologist will be cemented in history with his own burger at Downtown’s International Bar/Club/Bistro/Café/Thingy.  The burger is a vegetarian creation complete with a veggie patty and a Portobello mushroom.  I’m not a vegetarian, but the burger sounds good and it seems like it’s worth a try.  Now if they can also create a Chuck DeBroder cocktail we’re all set.  (elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S ALMOST AS IF PHILADELPHIA SAW CENTRAL AMERICA’S SEVERE DRUG CRIME EPIDEMIC  AND WANTED TO SHOW THEM THEY COULD DO BETTER – A spoiled brat, rich boy in Philadelphia decided to play the role of “bad ass drug kingpin” and ended up murdering 4 of his acquaintances while spectacularly failing in trying to hide the bodies.  So just a typical weekday afternoon in Philadelphia.  After a week long search for 4 missing men, Cosmo DiNardo confessed to killing them because of some stupid reason involving a drug deal gone bad.  The story is equal parts creepy, sad and pathetic and is a tragic reflection on this idiot’s family and the perverse sense of entitlement they fostered in him.  For one week, Philadelphia made most of the cities in Mexico look nice and peaceful.  Yet Philadelphia still looked calm compared to Chicago.  (philly.com)

DARPA IS LOOKING INTO CYBORGS NOW.  SO EXPECT FULL CYBORG CONSUMER TECHNOLOGY TO START HITTING THE SHELVES IN 30 YEARS FOLLOWED BY A MASSIVE UPRISING OF HALF-HUMAN/HALF-MACHINE HIPSTER APPLE ZOMBIES – The Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency, or DARPA, is a government organization that has influenced research and had a massive impact on most major computer, communication, defense and transportation innovations that have occurred over the past few decades.  From the internet to GPS to cellular communication – DARPA has pretty much had a hand in anything even remotely related to technology.  DARPA recently gave out $65 million to multiple teams to advance the field of neural engineering and create neural implants that can be used to control technology, among other things.  When DARPA starts something it doesn’t dick around, so expect low cost cyborgs to become a reality sometime in the middle of the 21st century.  Assimilate into the manmachine movement or die!  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

IT TURNS OUT DONALD TRUMP JR. IS JUST AS STUPID AND INCOMPETENT AS HIS FATHER – Much like a cartoon character who repeatedly steps on a rake to hilarious results, Donald Trump Jr. has been strung along hilariously by the media this week as he continues to back track and change his story over meetings he had with Russian officials during the campaign.  First Donald Trump Jr. denied ever meeting with any Russians, then after the media offered proof, he said he only met with non-government affiliated Russians, then after the media offered proof, he said that they didn’t talk about Hillary Clinton, then the media offered proof and the cycle repeated itself for the better part of the week.  So either Donald Trump Jr. is hiding something or he’s just a complete, fucking moron like his father – or maybe it’s both!  Working with a foreign government to undermine American rules is tantamount to treason but that doesn’t seem to bother the Donald Trump team one bit as long as they can accomplish their goal of running the country into the ground.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 07/08/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL IS CELEBRATING ITS 10TH ANNIVERSARY AND HAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT RICHARD DREYFUS WILL BE ONE OF THE DISTINGUISHED GUESTS.  SADLY, THE SEVERELY UNDERRATED MOON OVER PARADOR WILL NOT BE SHOWN AT THE FESTIVAL – The Plaza Classic Film Festival will kick off in a few weeks and, even though the full schedule has been announced, it has received a lot less fanfare than years past.  That should all change now that Academy Award-winning actor Richard Dreyfuss has been selected as one of the official guests of the festival.  Even without him, the festival has a good lineup going with other great guests like Kathleen Turner and animators Don Bluth and Gary Goldman, who will be taking part in a retrospective of their animation work that will be showcased at the festival.  So be sure to check the festival out next month and catch a few flicks and hear some of the amazing guests talk about their films and careers.  This is definitely one of the better lineups they’ve presented over the past decade and should not be missed.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

BREAKING NEWS!  CHICO’S TACOS CHANGES THE CHEESE THEY USE ON THEIR FLAUTAS!  THE APOCALYPSE IS UPON US! – Chico’s Tacos recently changed their cheese and this has become headline news on multiple LEGITIMATE news sites and led to an avalanche of bitching and complaining on the internet.  Never change, El Paso.  Chico’s Tacos is an icon in the city, so any change to their signature dish will result in publicity but some of the responses found online are a bit humorous and over the top.  It’s gotten so much press that Chico’s issued a statement that explained that the original cheese used was being discontinued and no longer carried by the distributor.  According to the restaurant, the new cheddar cheese is similar to the original cheese used in the ‘50s and ‘60s and thus more authentic.  For what it’s worth, I like the new cheese better because now the “cheese” actually tastes like cheese and not some hard Velveeta hybrid.  Regardless, Chico’s Tacos still kicks ass and is the perfect end to a night of hanging out with friends.  (cbs4local.com)

MONTANA VISTA FINALLY GETS A PUBLIC POOL AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN HAVE TO INCORPORATE AS AN ACTUAL TOWN  – A water main break in Montana Vista resulted in a large pond forming near Montana and shutting down part of the road for hours.  All things considered, El Paso Water Utilities reacted pretty fast to the situation and had things restored rather quickly – by Montana Vista standards.  The culprit for the break was a private contractor working in the area that probably didn’t even bother to check for utilities like most of the work done in unincorporated areas.  This shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone familiar with the unincorporated areas of the region.  It’s amazing that more disasters don’t occur in Montana Vista or Chaparral considering all the borderline illegal construction activity that occurs at any given moment.  Maybe incorporating and embracing “modern life” isn’t such a bad idea.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IRAQI FORCES HAVE “OFFICIALLY” TAKEN MOSUL AND HAVE DECLARED VICTORY OVER ISIS IN IRAQ.  WE SHOULD BE CAUTIOUS THOUGH, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME SOMEONE PROCLAIMED “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” IN IRAQ – Iraqi forces are celebrating as they have full control of Mosul and have, for the most part, defeated the daesh cunts of isis in Iraq.  Sometimes these victories are short lived and Iraqi forces would be wise not to let their guard down and to keep on fighting extremism in their country.  So best case scenario, this unites all Iraqi forces and they work to a more stable region with possible increased autonomy for different cultural areas.  This being Iraq, however, this positive feeling will last for 15 minutes and then they’ll all return to sectarian violence under the illusion of trying to maintain a “united Iraq”.  Let’s try to get this right, Iraq.  (independent.co.uk)

IT TURNS OUT THERE WERE MULTIPLE MASSIVE VOLCANOES IN THE 15TH CENTURY THAT CAUSED HEAVY LOSS OF LIFE AND MAJOR CLIMATE ANOMALIES ALL AROUND THE WORLD.  IT TURNS OUT THE EARTH REALLY IS TRYING TO KILL US AND IS JUST GATHERING STRENGTH – Scientists are still trying to determine which volcanic eruption led to the climate anomalies around 1465 which resulted in famines all around the world.  Originally, the volcanic eruption at Kuwae was thought to be the source of all the ash found in the geologic layer attributed to this climate event but new research shows that Kuwae was not as large as suggested and happened to occur a few years off from the date of the event.  So now we have either a “lost volcano”, or meteor-strike, that caused the events of 1465 to go along with the large explosion at Kuwae, which was not as big as thought but still caused a lot of damage and changes around the world.  Science is interesting and very, very scary.  (bbc.com)

DONALD TRUMP TAKES HIS “STUPIDITY TOUR” TO GERMANY AND THE G20 SUMMIT WITH HILARIOUS RESULTS – The G20 Summit is a gathering of leaders of the 20 major economies in the world where they to pay lip service regarding major problems by spending days on joint statements that don’t really do anything.  This year was no different, but it featured the comedy antics of Donald Trump to keep everyone entertained.  Among the highlights were Donald Trump pretending like he’d never met Vladimir Putin before, America coming off as a banana republic when Donald Trump inserted his unqualified daughter as his replacement at one of the meetings and America being isolated 19 to 1 on matters of climate change.  It was like if Mr. Bean or Inspector Clouseau was confused as the leader of a major country and invited to the big boy’s table by accident.  This must be extremely hilarious to an outsider living outside of America, but it’s not so funny when you are living in the middle of the idiot republic that Donald Trump is creating.  (bbc.com)