Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/12/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THIS IS HOW THE EL PASO POLICE DEPARTMENT ACTS WHEN DEALING WITH A SUICIDAL OLD MAN, IMAGINE WHAT THEY’LL DO WHEN FACED WITH A REAL EMERGENCY – The El Paso Police Department shut down local businesses around the Pebble Hills Command Center and forced employees and customers to stay inside for hours after an elderly man named Richard Palafox was shot by 3 officers because he allegedly threatened them with a weapon.  Naturally the police department did this overkill shut down for safety reasons and not to stack up easy overtime for their officers.  Lord knows the El Paso Police Department has never had shameless overtime scandals and only does overkill scenarios like this for safety reasons.  If this is how they act with an old man with a gun, if there’s ever a mass shooting event in the city they’ll probably shut down the entire town and force people to stay indoors for a week.  (cbs4local.com)

TWO LIONS AND A TIGER WERE FOUND IN A RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY IN JUAREZ AFTER THEIR OWNER SHOWED UP TO THE HOSPITAL WITH LARGE FELINE-RELATED INJURIES.  OF COURSE, DRUGS AND DRUG DEALING ARE NOT PART OF THIS CASE – The authorities in Juarez have moved two lions and a tiger to a rescue facility after they were taken from their owner who did not have the proper paperwork.  This being Juarez, apparently there is such a thing as a permit to own lions and tigers  So far the owner’s only punishment has been to be mauled by a large feline and having the cats removed from his property.  The authorities could possibly investigate how a regular person had enough money to purchase 3 large predatory cats, but they probably won’t.  Obviously drug dealing was not involved in this case and the authorities will just count this as a win after placing the cats in a shelter.  (cbs4local.com)

MAYBE THE MOUNTAIN LION JUST WANTED TO CHECK OUT THE NEW EXHIBITS AT THE EL PASO ZOO – The El Paso Zoo was on lock down on Friday after security at the zoo allegedly saw a mountain lion around the property.  No “mountain lion” has actually been caught, so this might just be a false alarm and the security guards may have just seen a really large cat.  It’s very easy to confuse Garfield with a mountain lion or any other medium size wildcat.  The mountain lion is believed to come from the Franklin Mountains, but they had some random idiot on the local news say the mountain lion came from Juarez – which is a theory so stupid that we won’t even bother discussing it.  But people in the area shouldn’t worry too much about this, if it were a true “mountain lion emergency” EPPD would have shut down the freeway and all the businesses in a 5 mile radius to make sure everyone was “safe” and not because of sweet, sweet overtime pay.  Then they would shoot a random house cat because it was being “suspicious” and label it “case closed”.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

YOU’D THINK A COUNTRY PLANNING TO SECRETLY MURDER SOMEONE WOULD MAKE AN EFFORT TO AT LEAST TRY TO KEEP IT SECRETISH – Jamal Khashoggi disappeared in Turkey more than a week ago and all evidence points to at least some involvement by Saudi Arabia.  There is video of Khashoggi entering the Saudi Arabia consulate in Turkey, but no evidence that he actually left.  So either he was murdered in there or he magically disappeared.  Turkey is claiming to have audio and video of the murder and Saudi Arabia is responding by covering their ears and yelling “Fake News”.  Even if Saudi Arabia did murder the government critic, nothing will really happen and the rest of the world will just wag their finger and act outraged (like when the Russian government murders people and blows up passenger planes and no one seems to do anything).  At most, Donald Trump will send out an angry tweet filled with empty threats and then nothing will happen.  (bbc.com)

WHO KNEW THAT HIRING IDIOTS TO RUN A COMPANY WOULD LEAD TO SUCH HORRIBLE RESULTS.  REST IN PEACE, SEARS – By Sunday we will know if Sears will shut down completely or will live on for at least a few more months.  It’s no surprise that Sears is in horrible condition.  They’ve been selling off assets and engaging in stupid business practices for more than a decade.  At the moment, Sears’ stock is in the toilet and the company doesn’t have the money to keep all of its stores open.  The company is pinning their hopes on a bankruptcy plan that will keep about half of their 700 stores open, but it’s too early to tell if this will be enough to permanently save the company.  So while not completely dead, this past week’s stock market drop has at least put Sears in a coma.  (reuters.com)

HALLOWEEN IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.  LET’S ALL GO EAT SPOOKY TREATS AT BURGER KING! – Japan has really embraced Halloween in the past decade and one of the most unique things that they have is that almost every store and restaurant has special Halloween items on the menu.  Burger King is one of the companies embracing this trend in America and this year they have brought the Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry drink to their stores.  In the past they have also served whoppers on black buns, so Burger King has been on the cutting edge of American Halloween treats.  Here’s hoping more American businesses embrace this trend and start giving us more spooky treats for October.  (cbs4local.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/05/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EL PASO’S PROFESSIONAL FUTBALL TEAM FINALLY HAS A NAME AND …….. IT’S A PRETTY FUCKING COOL NAME.  MOUNTAINSTAR COULD HAVE REALLY SCREWED THIS UP, BUT THEY CAME THROUGH.  I’M IMPRESSED – MountainStar Sports Group officially announced the name of their new soccer club to much fanfare this week and also gave everyone a first peak at the logo and color scheme for the team.  Welcome the El Paso Locomotive FC to your sports loving hearts!  The name, logo and colors are surprisingly good and the presentation went pretty well.  Overall, most people are really excited about the team and they might pack more people into the Chihuahua’s City Hall Field per game than the actual official tenants.  And if the team proves to be successful, we can see a large stadium project in their future if they can guarantee a shot at being promoted into the MLS.  I would have preferred if the team were named FC Lokomotiv El Paso for traditionalist reasons, but all in all the name and team has great potential.  CHOO CHOO!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

 HOORAY!  THEY HAVE FINISHED THE CONNECTIONS ON US-85 IN THE VICINITY OF PAISANO AND SUNLAND PARK.  TRAFFIC IS STILL A DISASTER IN THAT AREA, BUT AT LEAST IT’S NO LONGER AN APOCALYPTIC CLUSTERFUCK – In a pleasant surprise, txdot has announced the completion of bridge roads on US-85 from Paisano to Sunland Park.  This should help alleviate some of the traffic on I-10 in that area and also takes us one step closer to the super loop that will one day wrap around all of El Paso.  So next time you find yourself in the traffic clusterfuck known as I-10 on the Westside, just use Paisano instead.  (cbs4local.com)

SHEEP AND GOATS AND COWS, OH MY!  – NMSU will be holding its annual Ag Day Degree training program later this month and this time they will also have a special sheep and goat symposium devoted to everything you wanted to know about sheep and goats, but were afraid to ask.  The event will start on Thursday, October 18 and continue through the weekend.  The combined fee for both events is only $50 and is a great way to get a taste of NMSU’s world class agriculture programs.  So if you were ever curious about farming and related topics, this is your chance to learn from professionals!  It’s good to see the sheepies finally get their day in the sun.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S VERY HARD TO ELECT A DICTATOR INTO A DEMOCRATIC OFFICE, BRAZIL LOOKS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE FEAT THIS WEEKEND – The Brazilian presidential election is this Sunday and right wing, wannabe dictator Jair Bolsonaro is the front runner.  Bolsonaro has literally said he is in favor of a dictatorship and has been skyrocketing up the polls by promising to fix Brazil’s crime and corruption problems by unchecked, extra judicial force and general vitriol.  So Brazil basically wants to stop a tire fire by pouring gasoline on top of it.  The election will probably go into a run-off where the idiot will face the more stable Fernando Haddad, but even then it looks like Bolsonaro has a good chance of winning.  Fascism looks to be on the rise and the world should be very careful when right wing idiots start coming to power in droves.  (reuters.com)

IN IMPORTANT NEWS THAT THE WORLD SHOULD PROBABLY BE PAYING ATTENTION TOO, CAMEROON IS CURRENTLY IN THE MIDST OF A BORDERLINE CIVIL WAR BETWEEN FRENCH AND ENGLISH SPEAKERS.  YOU’D THINK SOMETHING THAT CRAZY WOULD GET MORE PRESS COVERAGE – In Cameroon, separatists in the Northwest and Southwest English speaking parts of the Country are seeking independence from the French speaking government.  Although the government claims that things are under control, tensions are still high in the separatist regions and the revolutionaries are vowing to stop the presidential election vote in these areas.  The divisions in these regions run deeper than French vs. English, but this appears to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.  When you start creating boundaries and borders from hundreds of miles away with no actual thought given to the people that live there, you will always have problems.  This is the curse of the Frankenstein countries that cobble together as much land as possible simply for the greed of it.  coughcough  I’m looking in your direction, Russia and America.  (reuters.com)

IN ADDITION TO PLACING A SEXUAL PREDATOR IN THE SUPREME COURT, THE PEOPLE IN POWER ARE PLACING CHILDREN IN INTERNMENT CAMPS.  AMERICA IS TURNING INTO A BANANA REPUBLIC RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES – So now even more children are being placed in internment camps in Tornillo with no release in sight and they aren’t even being offered an education while in custody.  At this very moment, hypocrite and spineless Republicans in Washington are shrugging their shoulders and saying, “At least they haven’t built any gas chambers yet.”  This country is going into the fascist shitter faster than anyone thought possible.  (cbs4local.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/28/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THERE IS NO SNAZZY ENTRANCE THEMES, CHAIR SWINGING AND/OR HEEL TURNS AT THIS YEAR’S SUN BOWL PARADE; I WILL BE GREATLY DISAPPOINTED – Congratulations go out to WWE star Sin Cara for being named the Grand Marshal of the upcoming Thanksgiving Sun Bowl Parade.  It’s good to see more people recognizing the rich wrestling tradition of the Paso Del Norte Region.  For those not familiar with him, Sin Cara is an El Paso native and Burges High School graduate who rose through the ranks of the WWE to become one if it’s top wrestlers.  He wrestles in the luchador style and, keeping with tradition, wears a mask to conceal his identity.  Although you can figure out who he is by the info given in his biography, we will respect tradition and not unmask Sin Cara.  So mark your calendars, start practicing your wrestling moves and be sure to attend the 82nd Annual FirstLight Federal Credit Union Sun Bowl Parade this Thanksgiving.   (kvia.com)

THE CHASE TOWER IS DEAD, LONG LIVE ONE SAN JACINTO PLAZA TOWER – After Chase Bank moved its El Paso headquarters to the Mills Building, the Chase Tower had been looking for a new identity.  The building’s owners have now unveiled the building’s new name as ‘One San Jacinto Plaza’ in addition to a revamped LED lighting system that will cover the building’s façade in programmable light.  So now the city can celebrate the UTEP football team’s next win with a spectacular blue and orange color changing light show at One San Jacinto Plaza.  Just a few more years and I think we’ll finally be able to enjoy that UTEP light show!  (cbs4local.com)

ALASKA AIRLINES IS COMING TO EL PASO.  THERE WILL, HOWEVER, BE NO DIRECT FLIGHTS TO ALASKA – Good news for fans of low cost traveling as Alaska Airlines will enter the El Paso market in February 2019.  The airline will offer daily direct flights to San Diego and Seattle and will give people in the region a low cost alternative when traveling to the west coast.  Now El Pasoans will spend less money whenever they want to go see what rain looks like!  Seattle is just a budget flight away.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

INDONESIA HAS THE WORST LUCK WITH TSUNAMIS – A magnitude 7.5 earthquake near Sulawesi Island in Indonesia has created a tsunami that has devastated the city of Palu.  Waves reaching heights of 10 feet were reported and videos/photos coming out of the scene show a freakishly strong tsunami compared to the magnitude of the earthquake.  There are over 300 confirmed fatalities from this disaster, but it looks like the final count will be much higher.  Let’s hope the worst is over for Palu.  (bbc.com)

THIS WAS A GREAT WEEK FOR FANS OF HOPPING ROBOTS – Japan’s Hayabusa2 space mission entered the history books this week when it successfully deployed 2 rovers onto the surface of the Ryugu asteroid.  This is the first time that a working rover has been placed on an asteroid and is a hell of an accomplishment for Japan and the scientific community in general.  Traditional rovers wouldn’t work on the rocky and uneven surface of an asteroid, so the mission developed an ingenious solution where the rovers ‘hop’ (technically it’s more like floating or hovering) to get from one place to another.  The rovers are already sending pictures and data and even more spacecraft are on their way to analyze this asteroid.  Space mining promises to be one of the main drivers for future space exploration and this mission will hopefully encourage even more research into the potentially lucrative asteroid belt.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS A SHIT SHOW – After trying to ram Brett Kavanaugh through to the Supreme Court, Donald Trump has now called for a “limited” FBI investigation into allegations that Brett is a cliché, affluenza-filled, frat boy, douchebag, rapist drunk.  Donald Trump is just trying to save face after the powerful testimony by Christine Blasey Ford, but the damage is already done.  All he had to do was find a conservative, moralist idiot with a clean past and he could have easily stacked the courts in his party’s favor.  And he couldn’t even do that right.  He went ahead and picked the most insufferable moron with giant, rapey skeletons in the closet and now the country is even more divided.  I like to think that Donald Trump just picked Brett Kavanaugh because he has so many things in common with him; things like lying, sexual assault and a narcissistic sense of entitlement.  So now we wait to see if the FBI points out the obvious and confirms that Kavanaugh is an untrustworthy, perjury-loving, possible rapist.  Or if they tone down their results as a result of Trump’s interference.  The fact is, that aside from 5 Republican Senators, the Republicans in power would gladly place Lucifer in the Supreme Court if it meant they could have a right leaning majority that can rule favorably on any far-right, pro-Trump bullshit cases that they bring in the future.  Let us hope the level headed Republican members of the Senate can show some backbone and not vote for a glorified frat boy rapist as a Supreme Court Justice.  (reuters.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION – 09/21/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

BECAUSE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT THE BORDER, THEY WILL NOW WASTE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO REPLACE THE WORTHLESS FENCE IN DOWNTOWN EL PASO, THAT WAS NOT NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE, WITH AN EQUALLY WORTHLESS “WALL” – The Trump administration will start construction on Saturday for a project to replace the Jurassic Park-style fence in Downtown El Paso with an equally garish border wall that will have no added benefit on the current situation in that area.  But with a bigger fence the Border Patrol agents in that area will now have more time to scratch their ass and shoot at children at Juarez who may or may not be throwing rocks.  Although this wall will be an abomination in the Chihuahuita neighborhood, it’s interesting to note that Max Grossman and his billionaire butt buddy in Houston have not chimed in about the importance of “saving El Paso history” in this area.  I guess that whole “saving history” shtick is only valid for certain projects.  Some local organizations are fighting this stupid waste of money with all their might, but it is all for naught.  When the fascist federal government decides to do something, they will gladly violate any and all laws to get their racist projects done.  The only way to get rid of the fascists is to vote them out, if we don’t vote against fascism we will only have ourselves to blame if the far right extremists destroy the country.  (kvia.com)

GOODBYE, WYLER AERIAL TRAMWAY.  IT’S A SHAME THE TEXAS PARKS AND WILDLIFE DEPARTMENT IS SO FUCKING INCOMPETENT THEY COULDN’T GIVE THE COMMUNITY ADVANCE WARNING THAT THE TRAMWAY HAD TO BE REPLACED AND WAS NO LONGER “SAFE” – After decades of service, the Wyler Aerial Tramway was suddenly shut down after the texas Parks and Wildlife Department cited an engineering report that implied that the tramway might be beyond its normal operating range in terms of years.  Although safety is important, the fact that the idiots in this texas agency decided to do this at the last minute with no planning or public outreach really leaves a bad taste in everybody’s mouth.  Naturally, Austin says there is no money to reopen or replace the tram even though it has passed inspections and is as good as ever.  So once more, we get fucked by Austin and don’t even get a chance to save one of El Paso’s most beloved attractions.  God, the texas government is full of dumbasses.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

YSLETA HIGH SCHOOL GIVES ONE LAST HOORAH FOR PAUL CAIN – One of Ysleta High’s most beloved teachers passed away earlier this year, but the school has not forgotten Paul Cain and will honor him during homecoming for the decades of service he gave to the school.  Mr. Paul Cain has been named the Grand Marshal (in memorial) for the homecoming parade and his family will speak during homecoming festivities this weekend.  Paul Cain taught at Ysleta for 42 years and in that time helped lead the school to multiple High Q championships as well as mentoring many students who would go on to attend prestigious universities such as MIT.  Good show, Ysleta.  Good show, Mr. Cain.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WOW, THIS WHOLE BREXIT THING IS WORKING OUT REMARKABLY WELL.  WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! – In news that surprised no one, British Prime Minister Theresa May is finding out the hard way that based on population, economics and every possible metric imaginable – the European Union has the dominant hand in negotiations with the UK.  Some delusional people probably thought the tail could wag the dog when they voted for Brexit, but now they are realizing that they can’t have their cake and eat it too and will have to accept what the European Union wants if they still want to be treated as part of (but not really part of) the common European market.  This in turn has inspired Theresa May to throw a temper tantrum and proclaim that the EU is not treating the UK with “respect”.  Geez, you’re the fuckers who voted to leave the Union and then went begging for special treatment from the SAME FUCKING PEOPLE you voted to split away from.  These Brexiteers really have a delusional sense of entitlement.  (bbc.com)

LOOKS LIKE CHINA AND THE VATICAN ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS NOW.  GUESS RELIGION ISN’T THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE AFTER ALL – Even though China is a “communist” nation, they still allow state-monitored religion and even have their own state-sponsored offshoot of the Catholic faith.  But after more than 70 years, it appears like the Chinese government and the Vatican will resume diplomatic relations and allow the millions of Catholics in China to be considered official Catholics by all parties.  Historically, Chinese Catholics were split between the state-sponsored variety and the underground church that did not want to be told what to do by Beijing.  If relations resume, the Vatican will have a say in who is chosen as a Bishop and the official clergy in China and will also create a better opportunity to unite and expand the church in China.  Not everyone is excited about this move by the Vatican, but at least no one is claiming to be Jesus Christ’s brother.  As long as we don’t get a repeat of Hong Xiuquan and the Taiping Rebellion, we can call this a win for Christianity in China.  (reuters.com)

IT’S HITLER VERSUS LENNIN IN A POLITICAL BATTLE FOR THE HEART OF A SMALL PERUVIAN TOWN.  EVEN COMPARED TO HITLER VS. LENNIN, AMERICAN POLITICS IS STILL MORE FUCKED UP – Because people in small South American towns like to give their kids weirdo names, we have the odd mayoral campaign in Yungar where incumbent Hitler Alba is seeking re-election against Lennin Vladimir Rodriguez Valverde.  It should be noted that both men have nothing in common with their namesakes and are well aware of the negative connotations that their names give off to some people.  But that’s the name that their parents gave them and they are sticking with them because their parents didn’t really know any better when they gave them those names.  And given the vast scope of human history, every name has been shared with a horrible historical person at one point or another if you really look into it.  But yes, Hitler vs. Lennin makes for a very amusing campaign.  (reuters.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/14/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S KHALID APPRECIATION WEEKEND IN EL PASO!  PLAN ACCORDINGLY – Khalid has returned home to El Paso a conquering hero and he was rewarded by the El Paso city government with the key to the city.  In addition, Khalid will celebrate his triumphant return by playing back-to-back concerts at the Don Haskins Center on Friday and Saturday.  Well played, Khalid.  So make sure you celebrate Khalid Day by buying his album and jamming out to all his great songs – it’s the official way to celebrate this new holiday.  (cbs4local.com)

MORE THAN ONE WEEK LATER AND THE SUNSPOT OBSERVATORY IS STILL CLOSED WITH NO REASON GIVEN.  I DON’T WANT TO SAY IT’S ALIENS, BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A “WEATHER BALLOON” – Last week, the FBI mysteriously closed off the Sunspot Observatory near Cloudcroft and forced all the employees out of the premises.  No reason has been given for this closure and the tight lipped nature of the operation has led to many conspiracy theories popping up online.  It’s anybody’s guess as to what went down in the Sunspot Observatory.  But we can all agree that the authorities will make up some bullshit excuse over the closure that doesn’t even begin to explain the use of Blackhawk helicopters and federal agents on an NMSU facility.  My money is on an official explanation involving swamp gas and birds that look like UFOs.  (kvia.com)

I’VE SAID IT BEFORE, EL PASO NEEDS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER LIKE A PIG NEEDS TWO ASSHOLES.  THE ENTIRE FUCKING CITY IS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER.  IT’S MORE THAN 2/3 “MEXICAN AMERICAN” AND “MEXICAN AMERICAN” IS THE DOMINANT CULTURE IN THE REGION! – As long as the city doesn’t go over budget and keeps the money spent in a respectable range, the Mexican American Cultural Center is okay.  It’s a stupid idea, but if it makes people happy and can be used by the entire community it will be a nice thing.  The latest plan to keep costs down is to expand the Downtown library with a new building and include the cultural center in the improved library/center complex.  This would cut down on costs and fit in nicely with the nearby history museum and future children’s museum.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want to show off their Latino Superman nonsense and are asking for an even bigger center that requires even more taxpayer money.  These people are idiots and, even if they disrupt community meetings, they should just be ignored and the most financially responsible option should be used.  If there is no private sector push, let’s not let this snowball into a massive waste of money.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AT ONE POINT THIS WEEK, THERE WERE FOUR NAMED STORMS IN THE ATLANTIC IN ADDITION TO ALL THE OTHER STORMS RAMBLING AROUND IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN.  AND THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BELOW-AVERAGE HURRICANE SEASON! – As Hurricane Florence soaks the Carolinas and Typhoon Mangkhut makes its way towards the Philippines and China, a bunch of other storms of varying sizes are twirling around all around the globe.  Whether you call them hurricanes, typhoons or cyclones; these storms are dangerous and all should be on alert when in their vicinity.  If this is a below-average season, I can’t imagine what it would be like if we were in an above-average season.  (bbc.com)

REMEMBER WHEN EBOLA OUTBREAKS WERE CONSIDERED SCIENCE FICTION AND THE WORLD WAS SCARED OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY BECAME REALITY?  AH, SIMPLER TIMES.  NOWADAYS EBOLA OUTBREAKS ARE SO COMMON IN AFRICA THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD JUST IGNORES THEM – Lost in the news cycle is the current Ebola outbreak impacting the Democratic Republic of Congo.  The outbreak has been occurring since August and 91 people have died out of 133 cases.  To make matters worse, this is all occurring among the backdrop of warring militant groups fighting for control of this part of the Congo.  Normally this would be pretty big news, but the rest of the world doesn’t really care about poor countries like Congo and tragedies like this are more common than many people think.  The global community should really pay attention to issues like this before they burn out of control.  (telegraph.co.uk)

IN ADDITION TO BEING A SMUG, SACK OF SHIT CONSERVATIVE ZEALOT; LOOKS LIKE BRETT KAVANAUGH IS ALSO A SEXUAL PREDATOR.  THIS WON’T DISQUALIFY HIM FROM THE SUPREME COURT AND ONLY MAKES HIM MORE IN LINE WITH REPUBLICAN IDEALS.  HE’LL BE ABLE TO JOIN FELLOW SEXUAL PREDATOR, CLARENCE “COCA COLA PUBIC HAIR” THOMAS, ON THE SUPREME COURT AND FOLLOW ORDERS FROM ULTIMATE SEXUAL PREDATOR, DONALD TRUMP – Brett Kavanaugh is an idiot conservative zealot and a lap dog for Donald Trump.  For those reasons, he should not be on the Supreme Court.  Though now it seems we can add sexual predator to Kavanaugh’’s list of accomplishments.  A woman has come forward and revealed that Brett Kavanaugh attempted to drunkenly sexually assault her at a high school party back in the ‘80s.  In his defense, getting drunk and trying to take advantage of incapacitated girls is the accepted norm for hypocrite Republicans.  So the Donald Trump shitshow just keeps on growing and we can only expect more creepy stories to come out regarding Brett Kavanaugh.  The guy literally looks like the adult bro embodiment of date rape and roofie abuse.  (newyorker.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/07/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT TURNS OUT ONE OF THE NEGATIVES OF INSTALLING ARTIFICIAL TURF IN POORLY SECURED AREAS IS THAT IDIOTS CAN CAUSE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DAMAGE THAT IS NOT EASILY REPAIRED.  IF EPISD WOULD HAVE JUST INSTALLED REGULAR GRASS AT BOWIE, THE VANDALIZED FIELD COULD HAVE BEEN FIXED WITH SOME DIRT AND $5 OF GRASS – After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to install spiffy artificial turf at Bowie High School Stadium, the field was severely damaged when 4 idiot teens drove their car onto the field to do donuts and then proceeded to vandalize other parts of the stadium.  The idiots were caught but, because laws don’t work and the idiots were minors, they will most likely get off with a slap on the wrist and taxpayers will be on the hook for the full cost of repairs.  Right about now I bet EPISD is wishing they didn’t waste all that money on artificial turf at Bowie without making sure that there was adequate barriers in place to prevent random vehicles from getting on the field.  That’s why you can’t have nice things, Bowie.  (cbs4local.com)

ONCE UPON A TIME, NMSU WANTED TO INCREASE ENROLLMENT SO THEY STARTED HANDING OUT A BUNCH OF SCHOLARSHIPS.  THE PLAN WORKED A LITTLE TOO WELL AND NOW NMSU HAS A BUDGET DEFICIT BECAUSE OF THE SCHEME.  OOPS! – NMSU has announced that they have a deficit in the $5 million range because of all the scholarships they have been giving out over the past few years.  For some ungodly reason NMSU included their scholarship students in their planned revenue stream, which is like including ghosts in the revenue stream.  Teachers are getting paid, no matter what, whether there is 1 student or 50.  So they can just stuff all the scholarship students and ghosts in the classrooms without spending an extra dime.  Just don’t count them in planned revenue and, VOILA, you don’t have a budget deficit.  So with that problem solved, keep on giving out scholarships like Halloween candy, NMSU.  Hell, if you start giving scholarships to cows and farm animals you can be considered visionary.  (cbs4local.com)

BILLY ABRAHAM IS IN JAIL AGAIN.  LOOKS LIKE ABRAHAM’S PAST IS OUT TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS – When you live your life in an antagonistic manner and do things without a care for consequences, eventually your actions catch up to you.  Or when your loaded and connected lawyer father dies, there’s no one left to cover your ass.  Either way, it looks like Billy Abraham is in trouble again and there is no one else to blame but himself.   The latest arrest comes from last year’s “elevator incident” in which Billy Abraham brazenly tried to manipulate and bribe witnesses in his attempts to change the inspection and operation dates on an unsafe elevator in one of his buildings that should not have been in service.  The government went after him for the elevator and he thought he could pull a fast one by dicking around with the inspection certificate.  Next time on the Billy Abraham legal soap opera:  bankruptcy court and a possible final partitioning of his property empire.  Stay tuned.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

ALTHOUGH THE ECONOMIC CLUSTERFUCK IN VENEZUELA AND ARGENTINA HAS NOT YET SPREAD TO BRAZIL, THEY ARE KEEPING BUSY WITH THEIR OWN CLUSTERFUCK THAT SAW THEIR NATIONAL MUSEUM GO UP IN FLAMES AND A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE GET STABBED DURING A CAMPAIGN STOP.  SO JUST ANOTHER WEEK IN BRAZIL – Last weekend, the National Museum in Rio caught fire and virtually all of its contents were lost.  The museum didn’t have a sprinkler system and the people in the country see this as an example of an incompetent government choked by corruption.  The anger of the people in Brazil is palpable and upcoming elections in October are stirring up strong emotions.  A few days ago, one of the front runners for the presidency was stabbed during a campaign stop and almost died.  Granted, Jair Bolsonaro is a right-wing, hate-filled nut job.  But no candidate should be in danger in any advanced democracy.  On the bright side, Brazil’s economy isn’t as crappy as Venezuela or Argentina.  So they’ve got that going for them …….. for now.  (reuters.com)

BURT REYNOLDS IS DOING CRAZY TRANS-AM STUNTS WITH JESUS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.  LONG LIVE BURT REYNOLDS – Some sad news this week as legendary actor Burt Reynolds passed away at the age of 82.  Burt Reynolds will be known for his amazing acting career that included such classics as Deliverance, Smokey and the Bandit and Boogie Nights.  His career ranged from every genre imaginable and he made an impact on both the large and small screen.  Burt Reynolds always had a smile on his face and it seems he had a lot of fun and enjoyed life to the fullest.  Rest in peace, Burt Reynolds.  (bbc.com)

ALTHOUGH THE HURRICANE SEASON STARTED OFF SLOW, IT’S LOOKING TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME WITH 3 POSSIBLE HURRICANES IN THE ATLANTIC AND MORE IN THE PACIFIC – Hurricane Florence is the big monster currently lurking in the Atlantic with its eyes set on the Carolinas.  But there are other storms taking aim at American territory on both sides of the globe.  By this time next week we might have major storms making impact from Guam to Hawaii to the Virgin Islands to the Carolinas.  Although the hurricane season started off slow, it looks like it’s coming on with a vengeance during the peak of the season.  Be careful out there.  (tbo.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/31/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE IDIOTIC FIGHT TO SAVE A WHORE HOUSE AND RED LIGHT DISTRICT-RELATED HISTORY AT UNION PLAZA LOOKS LIKE IT’S COMING TO A CLOSE.  HEAVEN FORBID A NEW ARENE BE BUILT IN THE ULTRA HISTORIC WHORE HOUSE SECTOR OF UNION PLAZA – The Texas Supreme Court has finally done something right and ruled against the lawsuit by morons Max Grossman and J.P. Bryan that was pushing for voters to be allowed to vote on the Union Plaza area being declared a historic district.  The Texas Supreme Court wisely ruled against this stupid idea that would set a precedent to allow organizations with enough clout to put time consuming zoning-related issues on the ballot.  What’s the point of electing a government if every stupid fucking idea and decision is going to be placed on the ballot by sore loser, crybabies?  So now we wait and see how the other frivolous lawsuits by Grossman and friends pan out before construction on the multi-purpose arena/center is begun in the area.  People that really care about the buildings in the area should make a deal with the city as soon as possible and at least incorporate the facades of the more aesthetically pleasing buildings into the new building.  By following an idiot like Max Grossman, the people that really care about the area will see the entire thing flattened completely with nothing saved.  Now is not the time to listen to opportunistic, outsider trash like Max Grossman and J.P. Bryan.  (cbs4local.com)

KUDOS TO SAN ELIZARIO FOR DOING SOMETHING PROGRESSIVE AND TRYING TO SAVE BEES AND NATURAL PLANTS IN THE AREA.  SEE THAT, SOCORRO AND THE REST OF THE LOWER VALLEY?  THAT’S HOW YOU RUN A NON-INCOMPETENT GOVERNMENT – The City of San Elizario recently passed an ordinance protecting three species of plant that are important to bees and the native ecosystem.  The plants that will be protected are Baileya multiradiata, verdolagas and globemallow.  In addition, San Elizario will be holding a “bee festival” to celebrate the little critters and the plants that they love.  Meanwhile, Socorro has just passed an ordinance to allow even more plants to be bulldozed so more shitty drywall and cardboard box homes can be built and they have also hired local cholos to stab all the city’s bees because they might bother the City Manager’s son on his busy schedule of getting drunk, doing cocaine and speeding on Alameda.  We can’t have pesky bees stinging the City Manager’s son as he does cocaine and drive his car really fast.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

WE SALUTE YOU, EL PASO-STYLE FLAUTAS AS CREATED BY CHICO’S TACOS.  WE HAD NO IDEA SO MANY PLACES SERVED THEM – El Paso Inc has a great write up on Chico’s Tacos and the culinary tradition they launched when they made El Paso-style flautas/rolled tacos/flautas ahogadas/Chico’s Tacos so popular.  They have a list of all the places that currently offer the dish around the region and we had no idea they were so pervasive outside of Chico’s.  As a public service, here is a list of all the local restaurants that offer their take on the El Paso culinary staple:  Chico’s Tacos (obviously), Frisco’s, Fat Bun, Fast Lane, La Tapatia, Fat Bear, Spirit Of 66, Carlos & Mickey’s, Lucy’s, Cincinnati Bar & Grill, Knife & Barrel, 3rd Tavern & Grill, The District Pub & Kitchen and every fucking greasy spoon diner along Alameda, North Loop, Montana and Dyer.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S ALMOST AS IF ARGENTINA SAW THE SHIT SHOW IN VENEZUELA AND YELLED OUT, “NO ONE OUT ECONOMIC DISASTERS ARGENTINA.  ARGENTINA IS THE MASTER OF SOUTH AMERICAN ECONOMIC DISASTERS.” – In news that surprised no one, Argentina’s currency has collapsed as the country’s economic troubles spiral into the abyss.  Even after interest rate hikes by the central bank, the peso still keeps on falling and it looks like Argentina will need some outside help.  Naturally even though this is all Argentina’s fault, they will take money from the IMF and still blame them and foreign powers for all the economic troubles.  Brazil, the gauntlet has been thrown.  Now we wait and see if Brazil can do something even dumber than Venezuela and Argentina.  (reuters.com)

BASED ON PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE, LARGE GROUPS OF RIGHT WING NATIONALISTS MARCHING IN GERMANY IS NEVER A GOOD IDEA.  MAYBE IT’S BEST THAT THIS IS NIPPED IN THE BUD EARLY – A tragic crime in the German city of Chemnitz has ignited a powder keg in the country with no resolution in sight.  News leaked last week that Middle Eastern migrants were involved in a late night fight that turned deadly in Chemnitz and that led to right wing bastards hijacking the tragedy to turn it into an anti-immigrant protest and right wing march.  The protests in the city and elsewhere in Germany have been raging all week and thousands of people have marched and counter-marched as a result of this right wing wildfire.  The sad thing is that the nationalist dumbasses don’t even care about the victim, Daniel Hillig, and few people are even mentioning his name.  He wasn’t even political or remotely right wing and now people are using his death to encourage violence.  We should all be weary of those that preach of “nationalism” as nothing more than a cover for racism and hate.  (bbc.com)

IN THE FUTURE, GENETIC ENGINEERS WILL REPLACE DOCTORS FOR MOST MEDICAL TREATMENTS.  THE FUTURE OF MEDICINE IS UPON US – Scientists have made some extraordinary progress in muscular dystrophy research thanks to gene editing.  Using Crispr gene editing, researchers were able to use harmless viruses to enter the body and modify the DNA of dogs to stop one of the irregularities in patients with muscular dystrophy that prevents dystrophin (a protein that is important for muscle strength) from being created in the body.  Although it is too early to tell if just modifying the “dystrophin creation” is enough to end muscular dystrophy, the signs are promising that this will at least make this disorder more manageable.  Thanks to Crispr editing it looks like the genetic engineering revolution in medicine is upon us.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/24/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AT THIS POINT, SUNLAND PARK IS LIKE THAT CREEPY EX-BOYFRIEND THAT CAN’T TAKE ‘NO’ FOR AN ANSWER AND ENDS UP GETTING A RESTRAINING ORDER – Santa Teresa’s fight for freedom continues and they have just gotten good news from the courts.  After some failed lawsuits, a New Mexico judge has ruled in favor of Santa Teresa becoming its own incorporated municipality.  This all comes as a result of Sunland Park’s shameless attempt to forcibly annex Santa Teresa and the ensuing bullying tactics used by the members of the Sunland government to bring about this annexation by force.  After the revolving door of city managers and the virtual collapse of the Sunland Park government a few years back, is it any wonder that Santa Teresa isn’t really excited about forcibly being annexed by Sunland Park?  Keep up fighting the good fight, Santa Teresa.  The Sunland Park government should fix the problems within their own city limits before they start invading other territory in order to bolster their tax base.  The next step now is for Santa Teresa to take their fight to the Dona Ana County government where they must show that they can provide public services better than what Sunland Park can provide.  Judging by the Sunland government’s incompetent past and current bullying tactics, it’s a safe bet that any rational official can see that Santa Teresa shouldn’t be forced to do something it does not want to do.  (kvia.com)

IT’S BEEN CLOSE TO 2 MONTHS AND JUAREZ STILL DOES NOT HAVE AN “OFFICIAL” WINNER IN THE MAYORAL ELECTION.  NORMALLY THIS WOULD BE A PROBLEM, BUT AT THIS POINT A SACK OF POTATOES WOULD PROBABLY BE JUST AS GOOD AS ANYONE ELSE IN THE MAYOR’S OFFICE – On July 1, Javier Mocken won the mayoral election by beating incumbent Armando Cabada by a very narrow margin.  The result was reviewed by the municipal election board and Mocken was declared the winner.  Cabada threw a fit and appealed to the people who handle elections in the state level where he was declared the winner after a “review” by the Chihuahua office.  This has angered many people and now the election will be reviewed at the federal level after multiple complaints.  Once the federal officials decide this thing it looks like there will be nowhere else to complain and Juarez will finally have a legit mayor by sometime in September.  Although we are still hopeful that the Mexican election officials in the federal level just say “Fuck It!” and declare a sack of potatoes the winner of the election and the new mayor of Juarez.  Hell, the sack of potatoes will probably do a better job of lowering crime in Juarez.  (elpasoinc.com)

FOR THOSE PLACING BETS ON HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE FOR SOMEONE TO GET INTO AN ACCIDENT WITH A DOWNTOWN EL PASO STREETCAR, THE ANSWER IS NEGATIVE 2 MONTHS – Yup, the El Paso Streetcars don’t go into service until November and some drunk already crashed into them during the streetcar training phase.  Luckily, the accident was minor and no serious injuries or damage to the streetcar was reported.  But there is still time to place your bets for how long it will take for someone to do something stupid and get killed while running into a streetcar.  My money is on ’20 minutes after they go on official service’.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF ANYONE NEEDS ANY ADVICE ON HOW NOT TO RUN A COUNTRY, JUST TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT MADURO AND FRIENDS ARE DOING IN VENEZUELA – On top of the ultra inflation that is currently crippling Venezuela and its ‘new’ currency, the country’s neighbors are getting nervous at the wave of migrants and are looking to block access at the border.  The latest of the nearby countries that are feeling the pressure is Peru which plans to introduce travel restrictions and require a passport for Venezuelans entering the country.  Normally, Venezuela’s neighbors would let Venezuelans enter as long as they have an ID card.  But the current migration crisis is reaching critical mass and nearby countries have to balance the impact to their own population as well as the humanitarian principles that determine that they should be kind to innocent refugees in a time of need.  So not only is Venezuela imploding, but now the idiotic government of Maduro is threatening the stability of an entire region. God help Venezuela and South America.  (bbc.com)

MAYBE THE HURRICANE’S RAINS WILL FINALLY HELP STOP HAWAII’S ENDLESS VOLCANO – As Hurricane Lane enters in range of Hawaii, Kilauea is still erupting without a care in the world.  Hawaii got lucky this week as Hurricane Lane swerved enough to only brush the island and spare people the worst of the storm.  A ton of rain still fell in Hawaii, but at least they didn’t get category 4 winds barreling down on the island and even more rain that would fallen in a direct hit.  Of note is that the Kilauea volcano is still chugging along and waving at Hurricane Lane as it passes by.  The volcanic lava flow is now a trickle, but you got to be impressed by how powerful and long lasting volcanoes can be.  And you got to be even more impressed by Hawaiians and their ability to live normal, stable lives as they are sandwiched between two forces of nature.  (reuters.com)

DONALD TRUMP IS (AND WILL ALWAYS BE) A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – The idiot Donald Trump completed a banner week as ex-associates Cohen and Manafort were found guilty of various felonies and other associates were found to have received immunity for their testimonies.  On top of all this, Donald Trump continued with his stupid, unwinnable trade war with China and continued whining like a child on Twitter.  I’m pretty sure the idiot did other horrible things and was caught up in more scandals this week, but it’s really hard to keep up with the fuck up and all his disasters.  Here’s hoping that the next week is the one where he resigns or finally gets impeached.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/17/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF A PERSON HAS A DRINK AND GETS CAUGHT IN A WASTE-OF-RESOURCES DUI CHECKPOINT, THEY GO TO JAIL.  IF A PERSON MURDERS SOMEONE WITH THEIR CAR IN A PARKING LOT AND SAYS THEY ARE “DISORIENTED”, THEY GO FREE AND GET A PAT ON THE BACK.  EL PASO LAW AND ORDER SURE HAS ITS PRIORITIES STRAIGHT – Tragedy struck earlier this week as a mother was killed when an idiot driver struck her and her children in the parking lot of Tippin Elementary on the first day of school.  Kharisma James was the young mother that died and her children and others were also injured in the incident.  The idiot in question that killed Kharisma James was Roger Hawkins who was conveniently “disoriented” when the cops arrived after showing off his poor understanding of driving.  Naturally, no charges were filed by the police.  But if he would have had one drink in his system rest assured that the police and every pearl-clutcher in the region would be asking for his execution.  Unfortunately, while driving under the influence is considered a major crime by many, “driving while old and stupid” is considered an accomplishment by many members of society.  So if you ever commit a crime, just be sure to tell them that you are “disoriented” and they’ll let you go with a slap on the wrist.  (cbs4local.com)

EL PASO IS ONE STEP CLOSER TO GETTING A DENTAL SCHOOL!  IT TOOK ABOUT A CENTURY, BUT THE TEXAS GOVERNMENT IS FINALLY NOTICING US – The Texas Tech Board of Regents has just approved the doctor of dental medicine degree that will be offered starting in 2021 at the El Paso medical school campus.  This is a long time coming and is one of the many professional degrees that have been missing from El Paso’s educational puzzle for a long time.  Now if the state can just stop fucking us over and allow us the opportunity to have a law school, architecture school and veterinary school; we’ll be on our way.  Kudos to the Paso Del Norte Foundation and the Hunt Foundation for getting the ball rolling on this plan and helping to bring a dental school to El Paso.  Although it would be cool if the school was called Doctor Diente’s Toothatorium and Dental School, the Woody L. Hunt School of Medicine is also a good name.  After the Hunt Foundation’s $25 million donation and support, they deserve the naming honors.  (elpasoinc.com)

 DOWNTOWN BUSINESS OWNERS ARE ONCE AGAIN BLAMING RANDOM THINGS FOR LACK OF BUSINESS.  THIS SEASON’S BOOGIE MAN IS THE CONSTRUCTION ON EL PASO STREET – El Paso Street is undergoing a major renovation project and, as is tradition, the downtown business owners are blaming their low business numbers on random reason #11354:  construction.  Although much of the loss of business over the years can be attributed to a business plan that basically consists of taking a truck to Los Angeles and buying as much cheap “Made in China” goods as possible and selling them at double the cost.  Though that simple plan might have worked in the past, consumers are now looking for more upscale goods and even shoppers from Juarez will rather drive, or take public transportation, to the mall or the nearest Wal-Mart to buy stuff.  But changing the business plan would require effort and it’s much easier to just blame random things and the government for all your problems.  Of note is the mention in the article that most of the business owners are buying into a rumor that the city has run out of money and has stopped construction on the street.  WhatsApp Conspiracy theories and fake news is alive and well in Downtown El Paso!  But we’ll hold off judgment until the late October deadline for construction to end arrives.  Maybe the conspiracy theory is right!  But once construction is complete by the end of the year we can go back to making WhatsApp rumor jokes about Downtown business owners.  Did you know Godzilla and his kaiju friends are planning to attack El Paso and are only focusing on Downtown Businesses?!?  It’s true because it’s on Facebook AND WhatsApp.  And someone’s tio has it on good authority that none other than Mayor Dee Margo is working with Godzilla to destroy businesses on El Paso St. and in Union Plaza so that they can build TWO arenas.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

EVEN DEVELOPED NATIONS AREN’T IMMUNE TO SHITTY ENGINEERING – In one of the more shocking disasters to occur in quite some time, a bridge collapsed in Genoa, Italy on Tuesday, killing more than 30 people.  What makes this so shocking is that this was a massive bridge in Genoa, Italy that served as one of Italy’s most important connections.  And it was a truly massive collapse that took out a good portion of the bridge and structures below.  It’s actually a miracle that more people didn’t die or get horribly injured, that’s how bad this collapse was.  Authorities and the bridge managers are now pointing fingers and trying to pass the blame on anybody but themselves.  Although a big storm was going on at the time and repair work was being done at the base of the tower that collapsed, it is still too early to determine why such an important bridge collapsed, seemingly, without warning in one of the most advanced and richest regions in the world.  It should be noted that the bridge was de facto privatized and a private sector company was in charge of tolls and maintenance.  So maybe privatizing important public infrastructure isn’t such a hot idea.  In case any private sector groupies want to expand this idea into America, never allow the private sector anywhere near important infrastructure.  (bbc.com)

LONG LIVE THE QUEEN OF SOUL, ARETHA FRANKLIN – Aretha Franklin passed away on Thursday at the age of 76.  Throughout her career she had a string of classic hits including “Respect” and had one of the most powerful voices in the world throughout her lifetime.  She was the Queen of Soul while alive and I don’t see anyone taking that title anytime soon.  Rest in peace, Aretha Franklin.  (reuters.com)

TASMANIAN DEVILS NOT ONLY HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HUMANS DRIVING THEM TO EXTINCTION, THEY ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH A CRAZY CONTAGIOUS CANCER THAT ONLY INFECTS THEIR SPECIES.  NOW THAT’S SOMETHING WE DIDN’T SEE IN THE CARTOONS – Tasmanian Devils are a fascinating creature that managed to survive human encroachment in their isolated geological area yet are still threatened by a cancer known as devil facial tumor disease.  What is interesting about this cancer is that it is highly contagious if the devils touch the infected area of another animal and it is one of the few known cancers that acts in this way.  Thanks to preservation efforts, and sheer Tasmanian Devil will power, the Tasmanian Devil has managed to avoid extinction and is recovering in some areas.  Some fascinating research is being conducted on these remarkable creatures and their relationship to cancer and it is possible that this may help humans in their fight against the disease.  So if you’ve ever been curious about Tasmanian Devil medical issues, have I got a research paper for you.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 08/10/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

A PERSON WAS SEVERELY INJURED AFTER A WHITE PICKUP TRUCK SPED THROUGH AN ALLEY IN FIVE POINTS WITH NO REGARD FOR SAFETY.  SO IF ANYBODY KNOWS ANY CUNTS WHO RECKLESSLY DRIVE WHITE PICKUP TRUCKS, TURN THEM INTO THE COPS – Christian Ortiz, aka DJ Swift, suffered massive injuries this past Sunday when a bastard in a white pickup truck maliciously went through an alley in Five Points and pinned Christian against his car.  Christian is currently in the hospital with severe injuries while the driver of the truck got away.  Surveillance footage was released of the incident and it clearly showed a white pickup truck with no regard for safety plowing into the alley.  So if you know anyone with a white pickup truck that would do something this horrible, report them to the cops immediately.  (cbs4local.com)

WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE DAY WHEN I’LL BE ABLE TO 3D PRINT STRIPPERS FROM THE COMFORT OF MY OWN HOME.  AT THAT POINT I WILL BECOME A SHUT-IN AND DIE – UTEP has pulled off quite a feat and has managed to attract Aconity 3D to set up its North American headquarters in El Paso.  UTEP lured them thanks to their Keck Center for 3D Innovation that provides countless research opportunities for UTEP students to get hands on time with industrial 3D printers.  So kudos to the UTEP staff for bringing more research and employment opportunities for El Paso’s students.  So let’s get started with that 3D printed android stripper research, UTEP.  (elpasoinc.com)

RON STALLWORTH IS ONE OF EL PASO’S GREATEST UNSUNG HEROES.  BUT A NEW MOVIE BY SPIKE LEE WILL FINALLY PUT HIM IN THE SPOTLIGHT – Ron Stallworth is an El Paso native who is best known as the black police officer who managed to trick the KKK into letting him into their organization.  During his time in law enforcement in Colorado, he infiltrated the KKK to stop an attack and later published his experience in his amazing memoir.  His story was recently made into a movie by Spike Lee which will only make his story a wider audience.  The movie, Blackkklansman, is now in theatres and Ron Stallworth will be speaking at Alamo Drafthouse and the Plaza Classic Film Festival about his experiences.  So go check out this El Paso hero if you get a chance this weekend.  As an added bonus, they’ll have copies of his book and he’ll be signing autographs!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

BANGLADESH IS IN THE MIDST OF PROTESTS DESPITE GOVERNMENT CRACKDOWNS TO TRY AND SUPPRESS THE NEWS.  WE’LL DO OUR PART BY GIVING THE PROTESTERS A VOICE AND KEEP THE GOVERNMENT FROM DROWNING THEM OUT COMPLETELY – Bangladesh has a ton of problems and the straw that broke the camel’s back happened in late July when 2 children were killed by a speeding bus driver.  At that point the people became fed up and have been holding almost daily protests to ask for better road conditions.  Although the core of the protests center on pedestrian safety, the protests have flared up due to the general frustration of the people with a government that seems a bit on the corrupt side.  We hope things get better in Bangladesh, but their government will sooner start shooting protesters before it actually tries to make the country better.  Shooting people is much easier than working hard and helping your fellow countrymen.  (bbc.com)

TWENTY MINUTES AFTER THE HEATWAVE ENDED IN EUROPE A GIANT FLOOD HIT THE CONTINENT.  WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO HURRICANES HITTING EUROPE AND PEOPLE WILL STILL DEBATE IF CLIMATE CHANGE “MAYBE” HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT – Wacky weather has always been around, though nowadays it seems like crazy, unpredictable weather is the norm rather than the rarity.  Just as the record temperatures receded in France and the rest of Europe, heavy rains took their place and flooded many parts of the continent.  The heaviest flooding appears to have occurred in France where over 1,500 were rescued due to rising waters.  Welcome to Europe:  If you happen to spontaneously combust, just wait awhile until the floods put you out.  (bbc.com)

SO WHEN CAN I GO TO THE PET SHOP AND BUY MYSELF A FOX? – Researchers in Russia, led by Dmitry Belyaev, managed to domesticate foxes in the 20th century and over that time managed to gather tons of research on domestication and the parts of the brain linked to aggression and the genetic basis for these changes.  The study has tons of information with an impact on everything from genetics to behavioral psychology.  Make sure you read the write up on Discover or the full journal article from Nature Ecology and Evolution if you want the full story on fox domestication.  So where can I go buy a pet fox then?  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)