Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – July 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE EL PASO DEVELOPMENT COMMUNITY’S WORST KEPT SECRET IS FINALLY OFFICIAL.  AMAZON IS BUILDING A BIG ASS BUILDING IN EL PASO – Amazon officially announced this month that they are building a large fulfillment warehouse on the eastern edge of the city.  The project is quite large and is going up on that large lot that is bordered by Rojas, Eastlake and I-10/Gateway West.  Construction crews can currently be seen in the area almost 24/7, so Amazon means business when they say they want it up and running by 2021.  So now El Pasoans will get the chance to work a warehouse job for slightly-above menial wages as Jeff Bezos becomes the world’s first meeleeon-beeleeonaire.  Hooray!  (kvia.com)

EVERYBODY KNOWS THE HOTTEST PART OF EL PASO IS BUTT TOWN (THE STRIPTASTICAL STRETCH OF GATEWAY WEST BETWEEN RED PARROT AND JAGUARS).  WE DON’T NEED A FANCY SCIENTIFIC STUDY TO KNOW THAT – The city of El Paso has announced that it is collaborating with multiple local and national organizations to create a heat map of El Paso.  The group will collect data this summer to determine where the highest temperatures are found throughout the city in order to understand where people are more at risk from dangerously high temperatures.  I think the recent heatwave has shown that 100% of El Paso is really, really fucking hot in the summer – study complete!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WHITE SANDS MISSILE RANGE!  YOU’RE OUR FAVORITE MILITARY TESTING GROUND (AND OUR FAVORITE NON-SECRET NON-ALIEN TECHNOLOGY NON-RESEARCH CENTER WINK WINK) – White Sands base celebrated it’s 75th Anniversary this month and we salute it for the great economic and military impact it has had on the region in that time.  The military complex started as the White Sands Proving Ground on July 9, 1945 and has expanded substantially since then.  Happy Birthday!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE PLAZA CLASSIC FILM FESTIVAL ISN’T GOING TO LET A PANDEMIC STOP THE MOVIES.  LIKE CLONED DINOSAURS, THEY FIND A WAY – Don’t forget to support the Plaza Classic Film Festival this summer.  They will keep the yearly fest going this year with drive-in movies and online screenings.  I’ll miss the experience of watching a classic movie in a wonderful theatre, but classic movies on drive-in screens isn’t too shabby.  As an added bonus, the movies will now be playing in different locations all around the city so you don’t have to travel far to watch some great films  That’s such a good idea that I hope they keep the traveling drive-in portion of the festival even after the pandemic is over.  (theprospectordaily.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE PANDEMIC IS STILL GOING STRONG AND NOW WE  HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT LONG TERM DAMAGE ASSOCIATED WITH THE VIRUS –  Despite some people trying to downplay the current situation for petty political reasons, the COVID-19 pandemic is still a very serious and dangerous issue for the world.  On top of the hospitalizations straining the system and the tragic deaths; we keep on getting word that for those that survive the virus there might be some long term ailments to look out for.  Recent studies and observations have found that the impact of the coronavirus includes memory loss, chronic fatigue, cognitive issues as well as organ damage.  It almost seems like the virus keeps on getting more powers the more we find out about it.  And yet some people still refuse to wear a face mask because it’s the devil or some other stupid reason of that nature.  (sciencemag.org)

LOOK EVERYBODY, DONALD TRUMP NOW HAS A SECRET POLICE THAT ABDUCTS PEOPLE FOR NO REASON.  BUT HE’S NOT A FASCIST, HE JUST DOES FASCIST THINGS BECAUSE HE LOVES AMERICA SO MUCH – Because the Justice Department is now just filled with sycophants that want to suck Donald Trump’s dick, federal agents are going around Portland and abducting people illegally on Donald Trump’s command.  The excuse is because Antifa is some sort of super terrorist group and they are “destroying” Portland.  But the real reason is because Donald Trump is a thin-skinned pussy and he just wants to act like a dictator to impress the racist morons who support him.  And now he’s even threatening to send his secret police to other cities.  So this is how freedom dies in America.  (npr.org)

REMEMBER WHEN TURKEY WAS THE MODEL OF PROGRESS IN THE MIDDLE EAST?  PRESIDENT ERDOGAN REALLY DID AN AMAZING JOB OF RUNNING HIS COUNTRY TO THE GROUND – In a largely political gesture to appease his idiot Islamist followers, Erdogan has converted the Hagia Sophia in Istanbul into a mosque after serving as a museum and a symbol of Turkey’s secular triumph in the 20th century.  The building is considered one of the most beautiful in the world and was originally built as a cathedral in 537 and eventually became a mosque in 1453 after the Fall Of Constantinople.  So now we wait until Erdogan gets more desperate as the economy and society continues to implode and he finally makes Turkey a full-blown Islamist country.  At that point it will become Iraq 2.0 and the world will just shrug its shoulders after the country explodes.  Good job, Erdogan.  (bbc.com)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JULYJohn Lewis was a key figure in the civil rights movement in the ‘60s and his subsequent work as a congressman had a profound impact on equal rights in this country.  He passed away at the age of 80 and his legacy is evident with the sheer number of memorials around the country.  Carl Reiner was one of the leading comedians of the ‘50s who worked as a writer, director and actor in the early days of television and who had a great influence on comedy in the decades to come.  He passed away this month at the age of 98.  Olivia De Havilland was the last living main cast member from Gone With The Wind, but her acting career went far beyond one movie.  She was regarded as a great beauty and an amazing talent and had a successful career in Hollywood before retiring to France.  She passed away this month a the age of 104.  Regis Philbin had a very long career in television, but to people my age he will always be remembered for his hosting duties on Live With Regis And Kathie Lee and for being Mr. Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.  He passed away at the age of 89.  I remember Hugh Downs from his work on 20/20 and for appearing in practically every news special on TV when I was growing up.  He retired decades ago but his memory will live on for anyone who ever watched copious amounts of TV growing up in the ‘80s.  He passed away this month at the age of 99.  Rest in peace.  (apnews.com / deadline.com)

 

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – June 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

SUPER ARROYOS HAVE ARRIVED TO SAVE THE DAY! – El Paso Water is showing some vision and intelligence by going forward with its new “aquifer recharge project”.  The project seeks to use excess treated water from the river and other sources to replenish our main aquifer.  One of the main highlights of the project will be an enhanced arroyo (super arroyo) that will not only filter water down to the aquifer but will also provide beautiful landscaping and trails for people to enjoy the outdoors.  Kudos, El Paso Water.  And all hail Super Arroyo, our new overlord.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

WHO EVER THOUGHT THE PLAZA HOTEL WOULD FINISH ITS RENOVATION FASTER THAN THE NEXT-DOOR PASO DEL NORTE HOTEL.  AND THE PASO DEL NORTE HOTEL GOT SWEET, SWEET GOVERNMENT HELP.  I’M SURE THEY’LL JUST BLAME CORONAVIRUS – It’s official, the Plaza Hotel at Pioneer Park is now open for business.  The hotel opened on June 17 after an extensive multi-million dollar renovation done by owner – and Paso Del Norte’s very own Mr. Burns – Paul Foster.  The hotel was originally scheduled to open earlier this year, but COVID-19 sort of delayed plans a little bit.  The hotel was designed by Henry C. Trost and was built by Conrad Hilton during the Great Depression, so the hotel is used to grand openings during major global events.  Overall, the over $70 million renovation project looks great and the restaurants and meeting spaces look to make this one of the best hotels in the city and surrounding greater Mogollon region.  (kvia.com)

IF WE PLAY OUR CARDS RIGHT, WE CAN HAVE A TOMMY LEE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL IN EL PASO.  COMPLETE WITH ANACONDA MASCOTS AND METHODS OF MAYHEM PLAYING AT THE ASSEMBLIES – The El Paso Independent School District just realized that naming a school after a traitor who fought to keep people enslaved is probably not a very progressive idea.  Thus, Robert E. Lee Elementary in Northeast El Paso will now get a name change.  If they want to save money, they can just keep the Lee Elementary Name and find someone else to honor who has ‘Lee’ as a surname.  I suggest Bruce Lee Elementary, Stan Lee Elementary, Christopher Lee Elementary, Geddy Lee Elementary, Jason Lee Elementary, Spike Lee Elementary or, most awesomely, TOMMY LEE ELEMENTARY AND MOTLEY CRUE MIDDLE SCHOOL!  Make this happen, El Paso.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

REMEMBER WHEN THEY SAID THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC WAS DYING DOWN AND THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO REOPEN?  YEAH, IT WASN’T TRUE – Coronavirus continues to run rampant around the world and no matter how hard some people try to minimize the virus in order to “reopen muh konomy”, things are still pretty bad.  Recently the pandemic has exploded in big states like Texas and Florida and reopening plans have obviously stalled as a result.  Things can only get better though … right?  (bbc.com)

LOOKS LIKE IT IS ALREADY 2047 IN HONG KONG – China has just passed a tough national security law that aims to declaw Hong Kong and make any political dissent illegal in the territory.  Hong Kong came back under Chinese rule in 1997 under the “One Country, Two Systems” plan that saw the transfer of the territory from British rule.  The idea was that Hong Kong would have a sort of semi-independence from China until 2047 in order to lessen any sudden shock from the political and economic shift that would occur in the territory.  Due to recent protests and general unrest, it looks like China wants to cash-in its chips early and just bring in Hong Kong as soon as possible.  At this point it seems like Hong Kong will never be able to return to its past version and must now adapt to being a part of China.  If it doesn’t happen now, it will eventually happen in 2047.  (npr.org)

KIM JONG UN THREW A TEMPER TANTRUM AND BLEW UP A BUILDING THIS MONTH.  I GUESS HE WANTED ATTENTION BECAUSE THE WORLD IS FOCUSED ON OTHER MORE IMPORTANT THINGS AND HAS BEEN IGNORING NORTH KOREA RECENTLY – A joint liaison building has been blown up by the North Korean government near the town of Kaesong.  The building was destroyed for no apparent reason and the action is part of North Korea’s recent sabre rattling to try and gain some attention.  It seems like most governments around the world are run by overgrown children who throw tantrums and are getting cranky because COVID-19 just won’t go away.  Join us next time to see what random object North Korea will blow up next.  (bbc.com)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JUNE – Back To School is one of the most underrated comedies of all time and is one of the quintessential ‘80s comedies.  Alan Metter was the director of that film and he also directed a few other great comedies along the way.  Although he is not regarded as highly as some other comedy directors of the era, he had a great career and retired from directing to lead a comfortable life.  He passed away this month at the age of 77 and we will always be grateful for his help in bringing the awesometastic Back To School to life   (hollywoodreporter.com)

 

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – May 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

DID YOU KNOW EL PASO HAS AN EXTREME WEATHER TASK FORCE?  THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOME SORT OF HARDCORE SUPERHERO TEAM! – Summer is here and that means the Greater Mogollon region will now be bombarded by intense soul-scorching heat.  Even though we are in the middle of a pandemic and social unrest, we should not forget that the harsh desert summers can be deadly and that some people need help keeping cool in the summer.  Enter El Paso’s Extreme Weather Task Force (EWTF).  The organization is limited in their distribution and fundraising because of current events, but they are still doing their best to distribute fans to those in need and providing information on how to keep cool in the summer.  So if you need a fan this summer or want to help the community with a donation, contact thew EWTF.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GEORGE FLOYD PROTESTS REACH EL PASO – The protests that started in Minneapolis after the murder of George Floyd by police have now reached El Paso.  Police reform is a very important topic and people in El Paso have come together to peacefully protest against police brutality and other related issues.  There were some small skirmishes between police and protesters in Memorial Park after the event ended, but nothing major compared to other cities.  The El Paso Police Department is nowhere near as bad as the New York, Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Austin or Seattle police departments; but there is always room for improvement.  Let’s keep these protests peaceful and push for meaningful change in El Paso and beyond.  (cbs4local.com)

CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE VIRTUAL WORKSHOP FOR THE EL PASO MEXICAN-AMERICAN COMMUNITY CENTER.  I HOPE PEOPLE CAME IN WITH GREAT IDEAS LIKE ‘BUILDING A CHICO’S TACOS INSIDE THE CENTER’ AND ‘A STATUE CELEBRATING SELENA’S LUSCIOUS ASS’ – El Paso’s planned Mexican-American Cultural Center is still a thing and the city held a virtual workshop in early May to allow random people the opportunity to complain and make stupid suggestions via Zoom (it’s the El Paso way).  All in all, the project will improve the downtown library and the surrounding area so it will be nice to see more daytime activity in that area – along with the children’s museum once that is completed as well.  There are still some reservations about building a Mexican-American center in a city that is over 80% Hispanic – which is like building a white pride museum in the middle of Buttfuck, Alabama.  But if they build a classy and well thought out center it should all be worth it.  (ktsm.com)

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST IN MAY – UTEP football legend Fred Wendt passed away this month at the age of 95.  He is regarded as one of the best running backs to ever play at UTEP and his playing career in the ‘40s produced many records that still stand to this day.  Rest in peace, Mr. Wendt.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF YOU THOUGHT 2020 COULDN’T GET ANY CRAZIER, WELL IT JUST GOT CRAZIER – George Floyd was murdered while being ‘restrained’ by Minneapolis police and the resulting protests grew into riots and looting after the Minneapolis government failed to act in a timely manner against the police.  The situation reached a tipping point when rioters burned down a police precinct in the city and the protests spread throughout the country and the world.  The protests have only grown in recent days and people of all colors and backgrounds have joined in calling for change.  It feels like this has grown larger than just a protest against the Minneapolis police and has become a call to arms against racism, poverty and police brutality worldwide.  This has all been exasperated by the current COVID-19 pandemic which has shut down sports, movies, concerts and other forms of ‘bread and circuses’ that normally distract people from what’s happening around them.  Now the blinders are off and people are not distracted by trivial pursuits and can focus on what is really important.  2020 has been a crazy year but at least it can’t get any more wild, right?  Wait, hurricane season just started.  Of course it’s only going to get crazier.  Rest in peace, George Floyd.  Like Mohamed Bouazizi, George Floyd will go down in history as those whose abuse and death at the hands of corrupt authorities will not be in vain.    (bbc.com)

OH RIGHT, CORONAVIRUS IS STILL AROUND.  ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT FOR A SECOND – The COVID-19 pandemic is still going strong around the world and now America has passed the 100,000 death mark.  The coronavirus has now spread around most of the world and places like Brazil and India are starting to feel the most dire effects of the virus.  No matter how hard they try to frame this, this is only the beginning and it looks like the worst is yet to come.  Add in millions of people protesting and a new spike in cases is almost assured in the coming weeks.  But at least the bars get to open up again and the rich get richer after trillions are pumped into the stock market by the government.  It’s almost as if the powers that be want us sedated while they fix the system so that only the rich come out unscathed.  (bbc.com)

LOOK AT CHINA OVER THERE, SECRETLY TRYING TO MOVE THE CLOCK FORWARD TO 2047 WHILE EVERYONE IS DISTRACTED – The Chinese government has imposed national security laws on Hong Kong without their full consent and now there are complaints that Hong Kong is losing their sovereignty.  The ‘One Country, Two Systems’ agreement that governs Hong Kong was set to expire in 2047 and now it seems like that deadline will be symbolic as China seeks to fast forward their obvious ‘unification’ plans.  No matter how hard they protest, it seems like there will be no help for the Hong Kong protestors as the rest of the world struggles with their own issues.  Hell, even the U.S. government wants to strip Hong Kong of its special trade status in order to hurt China economically.  It seems like no one will fight for Hong Kong and that 2047 is just an eventuality that will come sooner rather than later.  (reuters.com)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN MAYLittle Richard is perhaps one of the most underappreciated rock stars in history.  He was one of the first over-the-top pop music performers – when he started out in the ‘50s – who not only focused on the music but the visual elements of a live performance.  His on-stage persona influenced many musicians for decades to come.  He passed away in May at the age of 87 and his influence still lives on and will continue to exist as long as pop music lives on.  Fred Willard had an impressive career in comedy that spanned decades and included several movies and TV shows including Best In Show and Modern Family.  He passed away last month at the age of 86 and will be remembered as a comedy legend.  Few actors are able to create a truly iconic character, but Ken Osmond did just that when he brought Eddie Haskell to life on Leave It To Beaver.  In addition to creating such an iconic role, he continued acting on various projects afterwards and even became a police officer in Los Angeles.  Ken died last month at the age of 76 but will live on forever as the manipulative-yet-likable Eddie Haskell.  Rest in peace.  (deadline.com)

 

 

Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2019 And Analysis

Top 100 Songs 2019 / Songs, Album, Language & Geography Analysis

Here’s our full recap of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs of 2019 including breakdowns by album, geography and language. Enjoy.

SIMPLE MINDED TOP 100 SONGS OF 2019

1. “Hypersonic Missiles” – Sam Fender – (Hypersonic Missiles)
2. “Make Art Not Friends” – Sturgill Simpson – (Sound & Fury)
3. “Daisy” – Pond – (Tasmania)
4. “Lost” – Dermot Kennedy – (Without Fear)
5. “Not” – Big Thief – (Two Hands)
6. “So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings” – Caroline Polachek – (Pang)
7. “Mercury In Retrograde” – Sturgill Simpson – (Sound & Fury)
8. “Hot Girl Bummer” – Blackbear
9. “bmbmbm” – black midi – (Schlagenheim)
10. “Faraway Look” – Yola – (Walk Through Fire)

Continue reading “Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2019 And Analysis”

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – April 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EVEN A GLOBAL PANDEMIC CAN’T KEEP SAN ELIZARIO DOWN – The City of San Elizario has been ahead of the curve when it comes to urban agriculture and their City-To-Table program was one of the best urban garden programs in the region before the pandemic hit us all.  Not to be deterred, San Elizario has launched the City-In-A-Box program that will give every household in the city the opportunity to have their own mini-garden at home to grow desert-friendly vegetables.  The kits they are giving out for free include a 2×2 raised bed, soil, seeds and instructions.  So if you live in San Elizario, make sure to contact the city’s Urban Agriculture Department and start your own little farm.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

TONY THE TIGER IS IN EL PASO TO HELP FEED THE HUNGRY.  WE ARE SAVED! – Among the many issues the pandemic and lockdown have brought to the region, food scarcity is one of the bigger ones.  Fortunately, El Pasoans Fighting Hunger has been doing all they can to make sure everyone that needs help can get food for their family.  And now they have the combined might of Tony The Tiger and the National Guard to make sure even more food is distributed to the community!  I was a bit disappointed to see that Tony The Tiger was not wearing a face mask while giving out food, but I assume cartoon tigers are immune to this virus.  I still love you, Mr. Tiger.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

MINOR LEAGUE SPORTS MAY BE OFF THE MENU FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, BUT OUR LOCAL SPORTS TEAMS HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ABOUT US – In an effort to boost morale and show solidarity with the community, local professional sports teams have come together to showcase a message of hope for the region.  The Bravos De Juarez, El Paso Locomotive and El Paso Chihuahuas have joined forces and will be lighting up their stadiums and showing positive messages on their video boards in a show of solidarity between communities on both sides of the border.  The first event was livestreamed on April 29 and the next one will occur on May 6 and will also be shown on the team’s respective internet outlets.  We miss you too, Chico The Chihuahua.  (cbs4local.com)

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST IN APRIL – Butterfield Trail Golf Club is officially closing as the City of El Paso tries to find ways to NOT lose money.  Municipal golf courses aren’t that profitable during times of prosperity and are a giant albatross around the neck during borderline economic recessions.  The course was out in the desert and never really made any money for the city, so its closing was sort of predictable.  But fret not, the course is very good and there is hope that a developer will end up buying it for pennies on the dollar and finally develop the area around Butterfield Trail.  The airport has a bunch of land it doesn’t need and maybe this will lead to more sales and development on these vacant lands.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

PROBLEM SOLVED, EVERYONE!  IF WE JUST DRINK LYSOL WE CAN KILL THE CORONAVIRUS.  WE ALSO DIE IN THE PROCESS, BUT AT LEAST THE VIRUS IS KILLED AND WE CAN “REOPEN THE ECONOMY” – The COVID-19 Pandemic is still raging across the globe and Donald Trump is still babbling on like a dementia-riddled old man.  This month, Dr. Donald Trump gave us his ideas on using disinfectants and UV rays in fighting the virus in a rant that was incoherent and stupid even by Trump’s standards.  The only reason he is so desperate to “cure” the disease is because his entire re-election hinges on the strength of the economy – Donald Trump could care less if average people live or die.  Amazingly, the idiot has managed to turn “reopen the economy” as a campaign slogan even though the economy is already open and is just limiting non-essential businesses.  As long as Wal-Mart and Amazon are open, THE ECONOMY IS FUCKING OPEN.  Hell, Wal-Mart and McDonald’s are hiring at this moment!  If you are a shuttered business owner and you need cash you can go there.  But at least we now have a scapegoat for the overinflated economy’s collapse.  Now every shitty business that goes under can claim the coronavirus.  (bbc.com)

FOR IT’S NEXT TRICK, OIL WILL NOW GO TO A NEGATIVE VALUE AND PEOPLE WILL STILL THINK THAT IT IS A GREAT INVESTMENT FOR THE FUTURE – They finally did it.  Oil producers have kept putting product on the market despite low demand and now we are at a point where they will pay people to take the oil due to storage issues.  This unprecedented phenomenon occurred this month when WTI oil contracts for April were about to be closed and traders were scrambling to sell them off.  Unlike stocks, when you buy commodity contracts on the market you have to either sell them off or actually pick up the product or pay a fee when the contract comes to term.  Oil prices have stabilized now, but the roller coaster will continue until the middle of May when the contracts start hitting the month’s deadline and all hell breaks loose when they realize that the storage and demand isn’t there for the oil they keep pumping.  Though rest assured, the Fed is working overtime to figure out a way to use their magic money printing machine to inflate this commodity as well.  (Bloomberg.com)

YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE BIG TO BE TOUGH.  MEET THE HERO SHREW, THE ANIMAL WITH THE WORLD’S STRONGEST BACKBONE – Scientists have begun to unravel the secrets of the interlocked vertebrae of the hero shrew that allows it to withstand an amazing amount of pressure for an animal of its size.  A new study has come out that sheds more light onto the inner workings of this amazing animal.  The hero shrew is so tough that there are stories of full grown men stepping on them with no damage to the little shrew.  Thankfully, that experiment was not repeated for these studies.  So grow a backbone and be strong like the hero shrew.  It might be small, but the hero shrew is tougher than most.  Go read the full report for more detailed info on this fascinating little mammal.  (sciencenews.org)

 

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – March 2020

PASO DEL NORTE CENTRIC-NEWS

WE ARE ALL AWARE OF THE PANDEMIC THAT IS OFFICIALLY TAKING OVER THE WORLD.  NOW IS THE TIME FOR ALL OF US IN THE GREATER MOGOLLON REGION TO COME TOGETHER AND HELP OTHERS – COVID-19 has reached El Paso and the surrounding areas and, although things aren’t as bad as other parts of the world, we can’t let our guard down.  In addition to health issues, the pandemic and its related lockdowns are financially hurting many unprepared businesses and individuals.  Kudos to the Paso Del Norte Community Foundation and all the other local organizations and individuals that are donating money and food to help the community in this time of need.  If you have the means to do so, please help out your fellow citizens.  Every little bit helps.  Together we can get through this safely, no matter how long it takes.  (cbs4local.com)

SO IF KILLER VIRUSES WEREN’T ENOUGH, NOW WE HAVE EARTHQUAKES TO WORRY ABOUT.  WHAT’S NEXT?  VOLCANOES?  GODZILLAS? – A magnitude 5.0 earthquake struck between Pecos and Carlsbad this month and was felt here in El Paso.  Although not a terribly big tremor, it was felt by many people in the region and was a reminder that, although we are not in a major seismic zone, the surrounding area is prone to a tremor every now and then.  But at least the nearby volcanoes are still dormant – so we got that going for us.  But let’s not jinx it.  (cbs4local.com)

LOOKS LIKE THEY’RE MAKING PROGRESS IN STOPPING THE DUST STORMS OF DEATH THAT BLOW ACROSS I-1O NEAR LORDSBURG.  AT THE VERY LEAST THEY ARE TRYING TO MAKE THE DUST STORMS IN THE AREA LESS DEADLY – If you’ve ever driven along I-10 in the playa area near Lordsburg during any type of storm, you know that visibility can drop at a moment’s notice.  Since 1980, 117 major crashes have been caused by dust storms in the area resulting in 41 deaths and countless road closures.  Various government agencies have been working on making this stretch of road safer and NMSU researchers have made great progress in monitoring the area.  Working together, the hope is to create an early warning system for severe dust storms that can turn deadly and cause major accidents.  It’s a start and hopefully the dust storms around the Lordsburg playas will no longer be a deadly threat to drivers.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

S-H-E-N-E-L-I IS HOW YOU SPELL ‘WINNER’ – Congratulations go out to Sheneli De Silva from Mesita Elementary for winning the 2020 El Paso region spelling bee.  It looks like the Scripps National Spelling Bee might be canceled, but maybe they’ll make a digital version so that kids like Sheneli can battle it out for the national crown.  Either way, Sheneli is the English spelling master of the Greater Mogollon region for 2020 and even a major pandemic can’t take that away.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

MARCH 11, 2020 WILL BE LOOKED BACK ON AS THE DAY THAT SHIT HIT THE FAN FOR MOST PEOPLE AND WHEN THEY FINALLY STARTED TAKING THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC SERIOUSLY – The COVID-19 pandemic is still going strong and will be with the world for the foreseeable future.  On March 11, three things happened that finally made people see that this was a serious issue that was not just happening in foreign lands.  First, the NBA postponed the remaining games of the season after Rudy Gobert of the Utah Jazz tested positive for the virus just before their game against the Oklahoma City Thunder.  The situation was surreal as officials stopped the game before tipoff and left everyone scratching their heads wondering what was going on.  Eventually other sports would follow the NBA’s lead and virtually all events with thousands of spectators have been postponed since.  Also on this day, it was announced that Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson had both been infected by the coronavirus while in Australia.  If wealthy celebrities could get the disease it was now apparent that no one was safe and that everyone was in danger of getting the disease.  Finally, March 11 was the first time that Donald Trump addressed the nation on the serious nature of the disease after weeks of downplaying things and saying it was nothing more than a “little flu”.  And now here we are, waiting for the worst to pass us by so that we can try to cope with a virus that will be a part of our lives for the next couple of months – if not years as the 1918 influenza pandemic showed us.  (Bloomberg.com)

WE ALSO HAVE AN OIL CRASH IF ANYONE IS NOTICING – The price of oil has crashed to prices not seen in decades and the prices look to collapse even lower.  Unlike the stock market and other parts of the economy, the government can’t really prop up oil and inflate this sector as much because if you buy oil you eventually have to store it somewhere.  The government has been buying up oil as a form of welfare for the oil industry and now we find ourselves in a situation where storage space is running out and there is no demand to process the oil.  So things will only get worse from here.  But hey, maybe if we “open up the economy” again by letting shithole bars and restaurants in the middle of bumfuck towns operate at 50% we can “save the economy”.  Sure more people will die, but at least Donald Trump can point to the clown world numbers in the stock market and claim he’s doing an excellent job and thus deserves to get re-elected.  (bbc.com)

EVEN A GIANT CLOUD OF DEATH HAS A SILVER LINING – UN Security-Gerneral  Antonio Guterres has called for a global ceasefire for all conflicts around the world due to the giant pressing issue that is engulfing the world at the moment.  Normally the UN has very little pull, but it appears most warring factions around the world are taking heed and looking at declaring a ceasefire until the COVID-19 pandemic passes or it kills off their enemies.  So it looks like the coronavirus has given us a brief taste of world peace.  Someone give that precocious little virus the Nobel Peace Prize.  (businessinsider.com)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN MARCH – This pandemic will claim a lot of lives in the coming months.  We remember all those that died this month and the countless lives that will be extinguished by this global pandemic.  Stay safe and hunker down, everyone.  This will be a long fight.

 

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – February 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE NEW WILLIAM BEAUMONT ARMY MEDICAL CENTER IS FINALLY COMPLETE.  FOR REAL THIS TIME! – After what felt like decades and over a billion dollars later, the new William Beaumont Army Medical Center on the far east side of El Paso is finally complete.  The building is now officially “done” and it will open its doors later this year once the hospital is “outfitted” and is determined to be in operating condition.  The VA will now be able to better serve El Paso area veterans and is a big upgrade from the old William Beaumont Center.  And remember, all the delays and cost overruns were not because the building will also serve as a top secret government facility involving aliens.  That’s just a silly conspiracy theory.  Wink Wink (cbs4local.com)

MONTANA VISTA IS GETTING A SEWER SYSTEM AND IS GETTING ONE STEP CLOSER TO BEING A LEGITIMATE CITY!  ALL THEY HAVE TO DO NOW IS INCORPORATE AND THEY CAN GET EVEN MORE PUBLIC SERVICES IN THEIR AREA – We normally don’t hear much news from Montana Vista, but it looks like there is some good news afoot for the community in the far, far east area of El Paso County.  Montana Vista is finally getting a sewer system thanks to the help of various government agencies and community outreach.  This will help development and health in the area greatly and the community might just take the next step to becoming a legitimate town sometime in the near future.  And according to the plans it looks like there will be some rather deep manholes in the system that will be filled with giraffes and other large animals.  So it looks like Montana Vista might get a zoo as well.  Good show, Montana Vista.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ZUILL BAILEY DAY IS THE HOLIDAY YOU NEVER KNEW YOU NEEDED – The City of El Paso has just given the Conquistador Award (the highest honor the city gives out) to internationally renowned cellist Zuill Bailey.  In addition, the city proclaimed February 4 to be Zuill Bailey Day.  The cellist and music instructor is perhaps the most renowned musician in the Greater Mogollon region and has won numerous awards and has contributed to the community in many ways to numerous to list.  Let us all celebrate Zuill Bailey Day by listening to cello music and getting hammered – it’s the El Paso way.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS WE LOST IN FEBRUARY – Wolves usually get a bad wrap, but the El Paso Zoo has done a good job educating the public about them with their Mexican Gray Wolf exhibit.  Zephyr, a 14-year old gray wolf, was euthanized by the El Paso Zoo due to health issues this month and it was a great loss to the zoo family.  The outdoor music festival market is a bit oversaturated at this point and the latest casualties are Music Under The Stars and the Las Cruces Country Music Festival.  Both fests were run with the help of local government agencies and the costs associated with the fests were too much to justify continuing with the projects.  Though they could have just focused on local artists and been fine, they would not have been the big events that people are used too.  Maybe one day the fests will come back in another form.  But for now the festivals will only take place in music festival heaven.  (elpasoheraldpost.com / cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WELL, THIS DOESN’T LOOK GOOD – The artist formerly known as the Wuhan Virus has an official name now thanks to the World Health Organization and will henceforth be officially known as COVID-19 as caused by coronavirus.  The infections seems to be growing substantially and we now have major clusters popping up in Italy and Iran.  Things aren’t looking too good at the moment, but this is a great opportunity for anybody who has ever dreamed of doing a real-world reenactment of 12 Monkeys.  (bbc.com)

ARROKOTH THE CELESTIAL SNOWMAN IS JUST FULL OF SURPRISES – The New Horizons spacecraft flew by Pluto and then later passed by the Kuiper Belt orb Arrokoth on its way to further deep space exploration.  The spacecraft passed by Arrokoth over a year ago but scientists are still receiving and analyzing data from that spectacular visit to the Kuiper Belt orb.  Arrokoth was found to have a snowman shape as a result of two orbs fused together and now scientists are determining how the odd little snowman came to be.  The preferred theory for the formation involves a low speed collision that was as slow as 2 miles per hour, but I like to think it was fused together by aliens creating an art installation in the Kuiper Belt.  Who knows what other secrets the Kuiper Belt snowman holds for us?  (popsci.com)

THESE COLORS DON’T RUN ……. UNLESS DONALD TRUMP COMMANDS A ONE-SIDED PEACE TREATY AND RETREAT – After more than a decade of pointless fighting in Afghanistan by the American government, Donald Trump and company have announced a “peace treaty” with the Taliban in Afghanistan.  The treaty pretty much offers the Taliban free reign while the United States removes all troops from the region – all while the Taliban offers minimal-to-zero concessions to the Afghan government and America.  So basically the Taliban won the “War On Terror”.  Congratulations, Taliban!  Have fun destroying Afghanistan all over again!  (npr.org)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN FEBRUARYKirk Douglas was a Hollywood Legend who not only excelled in front of the camera but was an instrumental force behind the scenes on many classic movies.  He passed away this month at the age of 103 and leaves a cinematic legacy that few will ever match.  His legend will live on via his family and the countless people that were influenced by his work.  Lee Phillip Bell passed away this month and she will now go up to the big soap opera in the sky.  She is best known as being the co-creator, along with her husband William J. Bell, of the long-running soap operas The Young And The Restless along with The Bold And The Beautiful.  Most people don’t give soap operas the respect they deserve and just write them off as trivial throwaway entertainment.  But soap operas have been offering some of the best character development and plots for decades and the recent surge in serialized television owes a great deal of gratitude to soap operas.  Lee Phillip Bell was a true pioneer.  Robert Conrad was best known for his iconic TV roles, but was an accomplished actor who had an amazing career that spanned decades.  He will always be remembered for his lead roles on The Wild Wild West and on Baa Baa Black Sheep and is an icon of the early years of television’s rise.  Rest in peace, Robert Conrad.  (deadline.com / Bloomberg.com)

 

Simple Minded Monthly Recap-ITATION! – January 2020

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

I’LL TAKE A LUCKY GUESS AND ASSUME THAT THE NEW RIDE WILL HAVE THE WORDS ‘SPLASH’, ‘WET’ AND/OR ‘SPLOOGETASTIC’ SOMEWHERE IN THE TITLE – Wet ‘N’ Wild Waterworld is building a new ride for the coming summer season and it promises to be their biggest ride yet.  A groundbreaking ceremony was held this month – complete with frog mascot – and park officials are optimistic about what the new year will bring.  The ride hasn’t been named yet and there are scant details on what the actual ride will look like, but the water park promises to drop hints on the new ride in the coming weeks.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

TORNILLO IS FINALLY GETTING A PUBLIC PARK!  GOOD TO SEE THE EL PASO COUNTY GOVERNMENT FINALLY NOTICED THERE IS LIFE BEYOND SOCORRO ON THE EASTSIDE – The El Paso County Government along with Tornillo ISD have come together to build Coyote Park in Tornillo.  The park is named after one of the most dangerous things in the immediate vicinity of the park area – apparently Redneck Rapist Park was already taken.  Coyote Park will feature many amenities including new trees, trails, playgrounds and sidewalks and will connect with the $2.1 million hike and bike trail that will one day stretch from Alameda to Aguilera International Highway.  Now that El Paso County is finally showing some efficiency, maybe they can build some more parks in Fabens, San Elizario, Sparks, Clint and some of the other communities in the county.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THE BILLY ABRAHAM BOOZE IMPLOSION – Just days after getting probation for his skeevy business dealings, Billy Abraham decided to fight the system by getting drunk and driving to the El Paso Times building to yell at the newspaper.  It appears he wasn’t yelling at any specific person but at the newspaper itself.  I guess he was mad at the media but sort of chose the most irrelevant form of journalism he could find in this day and age.  Needless to say, he was arrested for drunk driving because he was visibly perturbed, parked incorrectly and the influence of booze was obvious to everyone at the scene.  Most people would just be sent to jail after doing something like this while on probation, but Billy Abraham will just get an award and live to drink another day.  (kvia.com)

HAPPY TRAILS TO OUR GREATER MOGOLLON FRIENDS LOST THIS MONTH – January saw long time El Paso Zoo tiger Melor pass away after living a long life.  She was brought to the El Paso Zoo in 2001 and was beloved by many from the very beginning.  This month also saw Monsignor Francis J. Smith leave this world at the age of 85.  He served the El Paso community for decades, including 29 years at St. Raphael Parish.  Happy trails, friends.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WUHAN!  THEY GOT YOU ALL IN CHECK – Looks like the Wuhan Coronavirus is a lot tougher to control than originally thought and now we have cases popping up in different places around the world.  The Chinese government has practically shut down the country and isolated all of Wuhan and Hubei province but it seems like that wasn’t enough to keep the virus from spreading from the hot zone.  Technology is way more advanced today than what our ancestors had on hand during the bubonic plague/Black Death and the 1918 Influenza Pandemic.  So this will hopefully be stopped or somewhat controlled ……. I hope.  (bbc.com)

IN MORE SIGNS OF IMPENDING ARMAGEDDON, A RATHER LARGE VOLCANO IN PHILIPPINES IS THREATENING TO BLOW UP – The Taal volcano in the Philippines has been very active lately spewing tons of ash and lava in the surrounding area as scientists fear the eruptions will only get bigger.  The volcano is in a highly populated area and less than 100 miles from Manila.  Taal has already disrupted the lives of millions of people and the hope is that it doesn’t go off in a giant mega explosion.  Because a much bigger eruption would be very, very bad for the area.  (nature.com)

IN OTHER NEWS, AUSTRALIA IS STILL ON FIRE – The brushfires that have been raging across Australia continue to burn, with the southeast portion of the country getting some of the most vicious fires.  The ecological disaster is already one for the record books and the social and economic impact is also quite massive.  The only thing that will stop this is eventual rains or if the fire just gets bored after burning the entire country to the ground.  Stay safe, Australia.  (npr.org)

WE POUR ONE OUT TO THOSE WE LOST IN JANUARY – One of the most shocking events this past month occurred when NBA legend Kobe Bryant, his daughter and others died in a helicopter crash just north of Los Angeles.  The loss was unexpected and the outpouring of grief has been massive around the world.  Fans of Lamb Chop and Shari Lewis would be saddened to know that Lan O’Kun has passed away.  He was vital in helping create the songs and stories of the Lamb Chop extended universe and with his passing only Lamb Chop and her other puppet friends remain as part of the original team.  Fortunately, Lamb Chop and her puppet friends are in good health and will outlive us all.  In January we also saw some great musicians, performers and writers pass away including Buck Henry, David Olney, Harriet Frank Jr. and Mary Higgins Clark.  Rest in peace, friends.  (deadline.com)

 

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/27/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER OVER 100 YEARS, WHITE SANDS WILL FINALLY BE A NATIONAL PARK – Due to land issues and multiple agreements, White Sands has only been classified as a national monument and has never received the full national park treatment.  But that should all change in 2020 as recently passed legislation in Washington includes a designation for White Sands to become a national park.  There will be a land-swap with the White Sands Military Base as part of the agreement, but as long as there is no environmental harm in this land deal it should be a win-win for everyone.  White Sands National Park has a nice ring to it.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

THEY SAID IT COULDN’T BE DONE, BUT EL PASO CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL HAS FINALLY TURNED A PROFIT!  HOORAY! – After around 7 years, and a bankruptcy, El Paso’s Children’s Hospital turned a profit for the first time in fiscal year 2019.  The hospital was expected to lose close to $4 million this year, but instead brought in a tidy $2.6 million in profit.  The hospital is on track to pay off its bankruptcy and will use the sudden influx in cash to expand services and help even more children – which is exactly what a children’s hospital should do instead of losing tons of money.  What a difference competent leadership and rigorous oversight can do for an organization.  (cbs4local.com)

NEVER CHANGE, EL PASO – Santa Claus celebrated Christmas this year in typical El Paso fashion by being stranded in traffic on I-10.  He was witness to a minor traffic accident that then turned into a foot chase along I-10 when an off-duty officer and other bystanders subdued the guy who crashed into multiple cars.  Naturally, the overtime commandos of the El Paso Police Department shut down the freeway for hours because even fender benders deserve full blown investigations – it’s not because they want to rack up easy overtime hours, honest.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WHAT BETTER WAY TO SAY GOODBYE TO 2019 THAN WITH YET ANOTHER DEADLY GIANT WHIRLY STORM – Another deadly typhoon has struck the Philippines and, sadly, the world will continue to see more of these deadly storms in greater frequency in the years to come.  Typhoon Phanfone made landfall over the Christmas holiday and the storm has so far claimed the lives of 28 people.  It wasn’t the biggest storm to hit the Philippines this year, but that’s just because many large storms hit this season.  Goodbye 2019, we hope for less storms next year but know that will probably not be the case.  (bbc.com)

BELOVED STAR BETELGEUSE MIGHT EXPLODE INTO A SUPERNOVA ……. SOMETIME IN THE NEXT 100,000 YEARS – The media has been abuzz this week as news spread that Betelgeuse, one of the brightest stars in the night sky and a part of the Orion constellation, has been dimming at an alarming rate over the past few months.  Though the star normally varies in brightness, the substantial drop in brightness was rare and led to speculation that the star was dying and on the verge of exploding as a spectacular supernova.  Scientists aren’t exactly saying that an explosion is imminent, but it does appear that the star will probably go boom in the next couple of thousand years.  Or perhaps it already has exploded and we still haven’t seen it because light from the red supergiant takes about 600 years to get here.  Regardless, if we do see the explosion in our lifetime it will produce an amazing visual in the night sky that will be very memorable.  None of the effects of the explosion will be felt on earth, however.  But maybe the scientists are lying to us and super gamma radiation is on its way and that’s why they raided the solar observatory in Cloudcroft last year.  Just playing ……. or am I?  (universetoday.com)

HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM SIMPLE MINDED ENTERTAINMENT.  NEW AND BETTER THINGS ARE ON THE HORIZON – Just want to wish everyone a Happy New Year and hope you keep on periodically perusing our website.  Next year should bring some new and improved changes and perhaps some new features.  Starting next month we’ll be doing the Recap-ITATION! on a monthly basis, so we’ll see you in 30 days for a recap of what we found important/amusing/perturbing for January.  Happy Holidays one and all.  (simplemindedentertainment.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 12/20/2019

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IN THE CITY OF EL PASO’S DEFENSE, THE CITY GOVERNMENT CAN BARELY MANAGE THEIR CURRENT PRIORITIES.  YOU REALLY WANT THEM OWNING AN ELECTRIC COMPANY? – The greedy fuckers at El Paso Electric have decided to sell out to the even greedier fuckers at JP Morgan and now we will have a completely privatized electric company.  The City Of El Paso had a shot to buy it and turn it into a municipal utility, but it just didn’t make much sense financially.  Even though virtually every other government group in the region wanted to block the sale, the City Of El Paso had the final say and decided not to risk their finances on owning a public utility.  So now we are left at the mercy of a private company to manage our electricity and, judging by privatized companies in the past, we’ll be lucky if they leave the headquarters in El Paso and only raise rates by a couple dozen percentage points.  (cbs4local.com)

THE PONIES ARE BACK JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS! – Horse racing is back at Sunland Park Racetrack and Casino starting on December 26.  This will be the 61st season of racing at the track and will run through April 21, 2020.  As always, the highlight of the race schedule will be the Sunland Derby at the end of the season but many big purse races will also take place from now until April.  So go cheer on your favorite ponies and jockeys at the track and make some money in the process.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

GOOD SHOW, EL PASO SYMPHONY – Starting in 2020, the Tocando after school music project will expand to Tornillo Elementary School.  The program is sponsored by the El Paso Symphony and provides instruments and instruction to students from low-income schools.  The program currently serves Aoy and Hart Elementary as well as Guillen Middle School and the Young Women’s Academy.  This is a great program that provides music opportunities to student’s that would not regularly get a chance to seek out musical extracurricular activities.  It’s good to see Tornillo get some love.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

THE LATEST UN CLIMATE SUMMIT IS REACHING THE END AND REMARKABLY LITTLE HAS BEEN ACCOMPLISHED.  BUT AT LEAST THE ATTENDEES GOT A NICE CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST OUT OF THE DEAL – The Chile-hosted climate summit (that was moved to Madrid, Spain for rioting reasons) is about to close and the developed world and the developing world are as far apart as before.  So basically the big and rich countries don’t care anymore and just want to make as much money as possible before shit really hits the fan and small countries – particularly island nations – want something done immediately because they are already getting screwed over by rising sea levels.  As it stands, we’re all sort of fucked and it appears that climate change is here to stay and temperatures will keep on rising because there is very little that can actually be done in today’s political environment.  But at least rich people will be able to make even more money.  (reuters.com)

AUSTRALIA IS HOTTER THAN HELL AT THE MOMENT.  LITERALLY HOTTER THAN HELL – A massive heatwave is hitting Australia at the same moment that large brushfires are burning across New South Wales.  It was so hot in Australia that the record for hottest day ever was broken on Tuesday and then again on Wednesday as the average maximum temperature in the nation reached 41.9C (107.4F) – or an average summer day in El Paso.  So the fires and heat rage on as the forecast shows little cold/rain relief in the forecast.  (bbc.com)

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!  AS AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT, THE IDIOT DONALD TRUMP HAS JUST BEEN IMPEACHED! – Christmas is next week, so be sure to enjoy time with your loved ones as you eat tons of food, get lots of presents and watch a bunch of Star Wars movies.  As an early present, Congress finally impeached Donald Trump for only a few of the corrupt things the idiot has done while in power.  Unfortunately, the Republican controlled Senate – led by Mitch McConnell and other bootlickers – are already on their knees ready to suck Donald Trump’s dick and let him go free once the Senate trial begins.  But at least history will know how horrible Donald Trump is as he becomes only the 3rd  American president in history to be impeached.  MERRY CHRISTMAS!  (bbc.com)