Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 04/16/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ONE OF THE COOLEST EASTER TRADITIONS IN THE PASO DEL NORTE REGION IS THE TREK UP MOUNT CRISTO REY.  JUST DON’T FALL OFF THE MOUNTAIN – The annual Mt. Cristo Rey Easter weekend pilgrimage hike went off without a hitch, sort of, this year and this is one of the safer and best ways to enjoy this hike if you ever plan on going up the mountain to see the 29 foot Jesus statue at the top.  Thousands of people enjoyed the hike this year and, besides the person that fell off the mountain, a good time was had by all.  Kudos to the Mt. Cristo Rey Restoration Committee for taking care of the mountain and keeping it as clean and safe as possible – thus making all these pilgrimage hikes possible.  (kvia.com)

IT’S LIKE A LIVE ACTION EPISODE OF BOB’S BURGERS! – In cool, local, uplifting news with a high tech spin; a young girl who is recovering from cancer can finally return to class “virtually” via the help of a robot!  Jackie Rosales has missed most of the current school year due to medical reasons, but thanks to a remote controlled robot with two way cameras and mics she can now go to class with her friends and interact with people at school.  The robot was provided by Socorro ISD and is helping Jackie re-enter the fold at her John Drugan fourth grade class.  Here’s a clip of a recent episode of Bob’s Burgers where Tina misses school and goes back with the help of a robot in case you need a better and amusing visual aid of how all this works.  This story is uplifting and very fascinating.  (cbs4local.com)

TURNS OUT THE EL PASO FIRE DEPARTMENT IS PRETTY DAMN GOOD – There might be some issues with “funding requested” and “funding available” when it comes to the local fire department, but their performance is pretty good despite everything else.  The El Paso Fire Department is one of only 4 large fire departments in the country that has a Class 1 ISO Public Protection Classification and international accreditation.  Not only does this mean that the city has very good response times and has a better rate of fire fighting than other cities, it also is an important factor in luring companies and businesses to the city thanks to lower insurance rates.  Kudos, El Paso Fire Department, for keeping us safe from all burning things except for the giant one over our head that gives us 100+ degree Fahrenheit temperatures in the summer.  Though there is very little that can be done to fight the giant burning thing in the sky.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF YOU GIVE THE MASSES FULL DEMOCRATIC POWER, AND ELIMINATE ALL DISSENTING VOICES, YOU’LL EVENTUALLY GET THE MASSES TO VOTE FOR THE ELIMINATION OF DEMOCRACY AND THE ESTABLISHMENT OF A DICTATORSHIP.  THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS THAT PEOPLE ARE MORONS AND SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO VOTE – Erdogan has gotten his wish and is now one step from becoming dictator of Turkey ……. for life.  For someone that constantly bitches about Hitler and accuses others of being Nazis, he sure does love using Hitler’s tactics.  This weekend’s election had 51.37% of the vote going toward a ‘yes’ vote that would turn Turkey from a rational parliamentary government to a strong man president form of government.  Although there are discrepancies galore and the ‘no’ campaign was unfairly hindered throughout the process, the results will most likely stand and Turkey will move closer in the direction of “totalitarian cesspool”.  So in a few decades Turkey has gone from being on the verge of entering the European Union to becoming central Asia’s answer to Venezuela.  You got to feel bad for the moderate and intelligent people in Turkey, the country has been hijacked by the idiot masses and there is very little they can do.  (bbc.com)

SO THIS IS WHAT IT’S LIKE WHEN TWO MORONS HAVE ACCESS TO NUCLEAR WEAPONS AND GET INTO A DICK MEASURING CONTEST.  SO SAD – Because nothing else is working in his administration, Donald Trump has decided to just bomb and verbally attack other nations in order to make himself look ‘presidential’.  Keep in mind that one of his core campaign messages was to stop American intervention in other countries and to stop being the world’s policeman – so let’s add that to all the other excrement that has come out of Trump’s mouth that never came to pass.  The latest country to feel Trump’s ‘wrath’ is North Korea, who just happens to have nuclear weapons and is close enough to Seoul to bomb the hell out of it if they were ever attacked.  So now we have the SAD situation of two morons engaging in a dick measuring contest to make themselves look cool in front of their home populations.  But North Korea is far enough away that no one in Trump’s family would get hurt in a retaliatory attack, so in Trump’s mind it’s okay if millions die as long as his business and family are still standing.  It’s also worth noting that China has stepped into its role of “pre-eminent world power to be” by being the rational intermediary in this whole conflict.  That’s right, CHINA is being the cautious and rational one in this international conflict.  America’s crown is in the mail, China.  (bbc.com)

THE FATE OF THE FURIOUS HAS OPENED TO RECORD SHATTERING RESULTS AND NOW WE WAIT FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT THAT WILL HOPEFULLY FEATURE A SUBMARINE JUMPING A SKYSCRAPER ……. OR POSSIBLY ALIENS.  NOTHING IS TOO OVER THE TOP FOR THIS FRANCHISE – The Fate Of The Furious now has the record for biggest worldwide debut of all time after it brought in $532.5 million in the global box office and beat the previous record held by Star Wars:  The Force Awakens.  Although the domestic box office was down from the last movie, international more than made up for it thanks to China’s $190 million opening weekend.  China’s opening is impressive because it was almost double America’s $100 million opening and it ranks in the top five of all-time domestic weekend openings (including North America) just behind Avengers:  Age of Ultron and its $191.2 million opening weekend in North America (though the China opening can jump that movie if it gets $1 million+ extra in the final box office count).  Once upon a time, the North American box office was untouchable and was always the market that produced the most revenue.  But in the past few years the Chinese market has grown exponentially and now we are starting to see an increased number of films make more money in China than they do in North America – which is something that would have been unheard of only a decade ago!  This is just another example of China’s rise as a global power and its eventual overtaking of the United States as the world’s top power.  And how does America react to this strange new transition period?  Well, they went ahead and voted the most inexperienced idiot they could find as president and seem to be planning to speed up this process as fast as they can.  But I digress.  Congratulations to everyone involved on The Fate Of The Furious for their impressive accomplishment.  (deadline.com)

 

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 04/09/2017

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ACCORDING TO EL PASO ELECTRIC, PEOPLE WITH SOLAR PANELS THAT CONTRIBUTE ELECTRICITY BACK INTO THE SYSTEM NEED TO BE CHARGED MORE FOR ELECTRICITY BECAUSE THEY USE UP SOME FORM OF “SUPER ELECTRICITY” THAT COSTS THE ELECTRIC COMPANY MORE TO PRODUCE BECAUSE OF SPECIAL POLES AND WIRES.  EL PASO ELECTRIC IS SKETCHY AS FUCK – El Paso Electric does not want to deal with people with solar panels because they, stupidly, believe that residential solar power is competition or will take their jobs or is powered by the Devil – at this point it’s pretty hard to understand what their reasoning is.  A competent organization would try to work with ALL solar energy providers to create the most solar friendly utility in the world.  But El Paso Electric is petty, greedy and incompetent and thus it somehow manages to get beat by places like Austin and any random city on the east coast when it comes to solar initiatives.  So basically the city with the most sunshine in America is getting its butt kicked by cities in cloudy and humid environments when it comes to solar power thanks to El Paso Electric.  Luckily, local government bodies and individuals like county commissioner Vince Perez are fighting the utility’s stupidity.  But we’ll have to wait and see if they can actually do anything against a powerful utility that is essentially a money printing monopoly.  I won’t even try to explain El Paso Electric’s argument because it is just a pointless revolving door of excuses designed to cover their asses.  But I will leave you with this poorly phrased word jumble that El Paso Electric spokesman, Eddie Gutierrez, gave as an explanation for his employer’s horrible policy, “The $14 a month for private solar customers reflects and attempts to capture a portion of the bill — of the wires and poles, the system to be on standby — to attempt to capture the subsidy that’s currently being imposed upon residents that don’t have this technology.”  Wires!  Poles!  Subsidies!  Solar power is the Devil and it wants to take your money and molest your children!  That truly is one of the dumbest explanations for anything that anyone has ever uttered in defense of a giant monopoly.  (kvia.com)

THE CHIHUAHUAS ARE BACK IN ACTION AT CITY HALL FIELD!  LET’S FETCH SOME EXCITEMENT AND (INSERT ANOTHER SHAMELESS DOG PUN HERE)! – Coming off a very successful season last year in which the team was one win away from claiming the Supreme Minor League Championship (or whatever the championship is called), the El Paso Chihuahuas kicked off the 2017 season this weekend against Las Vegas with very promising results.  Good luck to the Chihuahuas this season and hopefully we see an even larger economic impact in downtown this season.  (cbs4local.com)

BAWWWWWW!  LOOK AT THE CUTE BABY PRONGHORN – Congratulations go out to Princessa and Tabasco at the El Paso Zoo on the birth of their brand new male pronghorn fawn.  The baby was named Bowser and the fawn and mother are doing well.  Peninsular pronghorns, or Baja California pronghorns, are listed as a critically endangered subspecies of pronghorn and this birth is great news for re-population efforts.  So if you are a fan of baby animals (who isn’t) make sure you go to the El Paso Zoo and say hi to Bowser.  (elpasoproud.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

LOOK!  AMERICA ISN’T THE ONLY COUNTRY THAT REALIZES THEIR PRESIDENT IS A MORON AND SHOULD BE FIRED IMMEDIATELY.  SOUTH AFRICA SEEMS TO HAVE THAT PROBLEM TOO.  THE CITIZENS OF THE WORLD REALLY DO HAVE MANY THINGS IN COMMON – South African President, Jacob Zuma, has been a disaster in office and has “led” his country into a horrible economic malaise with a junk status credit rating.  This has, naturally, pissed off a good portion of South Africa’s population who marched in cities around the country this weekend demanding that he step down from power.  Although this is a great show of “people power”, Mr. Zuma will still find a way to survive all of this and just blame others as he fires all the competent people in the government and replaces them with his personal “yes men” and stooges.  Firing everyone and replacing them with cronies – hmmm, where have I heard that before?  It’s almost as if Zuma is “draining the swamp” and using nepotism to make all of his hiring decisions.  I’m glad things like that don’t happen in developed nations.  (bbc.com)

WHEN THE OCTOPUS ARMIES TAKE OVER THE WORLD, WE WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT SIMPLE MINDED ENTERTAINMENT WAS THE FIRST TO WARN THE WORLD ABOUT THE IMPENDING DANGER – Scientists have discovered that cephalopods don’t rely on DNA mutations to adapt over generations, like virtually all species, but instead alter their RNA to make changes at the individual level that are not passed on to offspring.  So most adaptations in cephalopods are done “on the fly” and don’t rely on natural selection or a traditional interpretation of evolution.  Although octopi, squid and other cephalopods are known to be very clever creatures, the changes do not appear to be made consciously by the animal but, rather, as a result of interaction with the environment.  But what if octopuses where really ancient aliens and they are so smart that they can change their adaptations on command via RNA?  What if this is only the beginning of the Grand Octopus Army?  Somebody call SyFy Channel or History Channel!  I have an idea for a horribly inaccurate show that fits perfectly with their content!  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

IT TOOK YEARS BEFORE BILL CLINTON AND THE BUSHES LAUNCHED CRUISE MISSILES INTO RANDOM COUNTRIES TO DISTRACT US FROM DOMESTIC PROBLEMS.  IT TOOK DONALD TRUMP LESS THAN 100 DAYS TO DO THE SAME – Even though Donald Trump said he would never involve America in pointless conflicts, he just launched cruise missiles at Syria and further involved us in a pointless Middle East conflict.  Donald Trump says the tipping point for him came when he saw babies dying after a chemical attack in Syria – never mind that babies have been dying for a long time in Syria due to guns and fire bombs.  Even Donald Trump can’t resist the power of “Obama’s Red Line of Syria”.  So now the world will just sit back again write a strongly worded letter to Russia and Assad and continue letting babies die because of fire bombings – but they better think twice if they plan on using chemicals on those babies.  At this point I’m starting to think that this is all just some elaborate ploy by Putin to accomplish whatever weirdo goal he has lined up.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2016 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics

 

In case you didn’t catch it the first time, here’s our full recap of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs of 2016 including top albums and other stats from the list. Enjoy.

SIMPLE MINDED TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016

1. “Lost On You” – LP – (Death Valley)
2. “Do I Ever” – Kensington – (Control)
3. “Never Ever” – Royksopp with Susanne Sundfor
4. “De La Bouche A La Taille” – Jil Is Lucky – (Manon)
5. “It’s Just Us Now” – Sleigh Bells – (Jessica Rabbit)
6. “Akhar Zaman” – Bombino – (Azel)
7. “Ablaze” – School of Seven Bells – (SVIIB)
8. “Excuse Me” – Nothing But Thieves – (Nothing But Thieves)
9. “Il Messia” – Salmo with Victor Kwality and Travis Barker – (Hellvisback)
10. “In The Years 2000” – Tender Suns – (Fits Like This)

Continue reading “Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2016 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics”

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #1 “Lost On You” by LP

We've Finally reached the end of our list.  Now please enjoy the best song of 2016!
# 1
LP
“Lost On You”
Death Valley

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Lost On You” was a very big hit in Europe last year, but is barely starting to get traction here in the States.  American audiences aren’t exactly the most refined musical consumers in the world.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

There is no better way to end our list than with this random Pokemon screen cap that Google image search gave us when we typed in “Lost On You Sexy”.  The picture is from the famous “lost” episode of Pokemon where James uses magic or something to get huge breasts to try and win a bikini contest and then Team Rocket proceeds to body shame Misty for not looking hot in a bikini.  Yes, that episode of Pokemon REALLY DID happen and has not been officially released in America for very obvious reasons.  Not shown is Pikachu who I assume was just crying in the corner the entire episode.  Yup, this is the most absurd and best way we can end our countdown.  Lost Suggestive Pokemon Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Join us again next year when we once again countdown the top 100 songs, hopefully a little earlier than March.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #2 “Do I Ever” by Kensington

# 2
Kensington
“Do I Ever”
Control

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Kensington is a rather nice section of London.  The band Kensington is not from Kensington, or England for that matter, and is from Utrecht, Netherlands.  “Utrecht” just doesn’t roll off the tongue as well as “Kensington”.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

For some reason, “Do I Ever Sexy” gives us a picture of a hot girl in a sexy Scooby Doo costume.  I wasn’t even aware a sexy Scooby Doo costume was possible, but Google image search showed us the light.  Scooby Dooby Mmmmmmmm Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

Top 100 Songs of 2016 – #3 “Never Ever” by Royksopp with Susanne Sundfor

# 3
Royksopp with Susanne Sundfor
“Never Ever”

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Royksopp and Susanne Sundfor are Norwegian musicians who joined forces to create a hit song in English.  Now we need to have English musicians join forces and create a hit electropop song in Norwegian – I elect The Chemical Brothers and Adele.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Royksopp are prim and proper young chaps and are not afraid to be classy.  Are we sure they aren’t in an orchestra and not techno superstars?  Smooth Nordic Techno Model Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #4 “De La Bouche A La Taille” by Jil Is Lucky

# 4
Jil Is Lucky
“De La Bouche A La Taille”
Manon

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Manon Rheaume was the first woman to sign with an NHL team (Tampa Bay Lightning) back in 1992.  This album is probably not a concept album devoted to Manon Rheaume, but it would be a good idea for a concept album.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Bonus Trivia:  Did you know that Jil Is Lucky moonlight as Religious Tolerance Power Rangers on the side?  Theological Spandex Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #5 “It’s Just Us Now” by Sleigh Bells

# 5
Sleigh Bells
“It’s Just Us Now”
Jessica Rabbit

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Although they are in the band’s name, there is no pervasive use of sleigh bells anywhere on the song.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

The Google image search for “It’s Just Us Now Sexy” gave us this snazzy picture of Magic Mike giving us his patented ultra pelvic thrust.  Sometimes Google image search works in divine and mysterious ways.  It’s best not to question the Google algorithm, it truly knows all.  Absurd Search Result Tatumtastic Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and pirate downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #6 “Akhar Zaman” by Bombino

# 6
Bombino
“Akhar Zaman”
Azel

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

“Akhar Zaman” means “This Moment” in the Tuareg language of Tamasheq and is NOT a Star Wars character related to Admiral Gial Ackbar.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

Here is Bombino looking suave with his guitar.  Tuareg Guitar Hero Sexiness!

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2016 – #7 “Ablaze” by School of Seven Bells

# 7
School of Seven Bells
“Ablaze”
SVIIB

 

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

 

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

A school with only seven bells would be very weird and consist of only like 3 periods and one random warning bell.  That school is probably in YISD and was one of Superintendent Xavier De La Torre’s “brilliant” ideas.

 

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song.  If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

School of Seven Bells was a very photogenic group from any angle.  I don’t think they were capable of taking a bad group picture.  Mythical Pick Pocketing Sexiness!

 

 

Support Good Music!  Go buy these albums now (at the store or digitally)!  Mankind can’t live on free streaming and downloads alone.  Check back soon as we unveil the remaining songs of the Top 100.