Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 11/09/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

THE STREETCARS ARE BACK IN EL PASO!  SADLY, THESE FANCY PANTS, MODERN STREETCARS WILL NOT BE PULLED BY MULES LIKE IN THE GOOD OL’ DAYS – It’s official!  As of today, the El Paso Streetcar system will be back in business after being gone for decades.  The trolleys – as the cool kids call them – are the original Presidents Conference Committee Streetcars that ran on the El Paso system back in the day and that have been lovingly restored for modern use.  The system will run on two loops from downtown to UTEP and consists of a 4.8 mile route with over twenty stops.  And as an added inauguration bonus, the streetcars will be available for free rides on weekends until January 6.  So get a move on and get on the streetcar.  Free trolleys!  Hooray!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

EVEN IN FAILURE, BILLY ABRAHAM STILL WALKS AWAY WITH HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS.  NOTHING WILL EVER STOP WILLIAM “BILLY” ABRAHAM – It finally happened.  After all the fines, threats and lawsuits; the courts have finally auctioned off Billy Abraham’s properties in El Paso to pay off all his creditors.  In the end, 11 of his properties were sold for a total of $10.53 million in bankruptcy court this week.  The sales amount will allow all his creditors to be paid and leaves him with a substantial amount of money to do as he pleases.  This marks a new chapter in the history of Downtown El Paso as some wonderful historic landmarks (such as the Kress Building and Caples Building) will now be in the hands of people who should be able to renovate them and bring them back to their old glory.  Interestingly enough, Paul Foster was shut out of the auction when he was unable to purchase the Kress Building after bidding got to high.  This was the only building he made a move on even though he had shown great interest in buying up all the buildings in an earlier offer that was rejected by Abraham.  As for Billy Abraham, he now has spending money so he can finally buy an old building and renovate it – that or he just uses up all his cash and turns The Tap bar into some super nightclub.  (elpasotimes.com)

AFTER YEARS OF POINTLESS LEGAL FIGHTS, A COURT OF APPEALS HAS RULED THAT THE CITY OF EL PASO HAS THE RIGHT TO HOST SPORTS, AND WHATEVER IT WANTS, INSIDE THE WAITING-T0-BE-BUILT ARENA.  AND WE’RE SLOWLY GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE MAX GROSSMAN WILL FINALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR GOOD AND BE COMPLETELY IGNORED BY THE MEDIA – The Downtown Arena project is closer to reality now as the courts have removed a major obstacle to attracting tenants and sponsorships for the arena.  Though there is still room for more appeals, it looks like sports will be a major part of the downtown arena.  It would probably be best for critics of the arena to just compromise and work for the preservation of some buildings and the facades of the more unique structures before their grandstanding results in the entire neighborhood getting flattened.  The courts at the federal level would not get involved with property rights and at this point there is no real reason to save the entire arena footprint as is.  Just pick the most important structures and at least get the city to incorporate the buildings or the facades into the final arena complex.  Hopefully Max Grossman will finally ride off with his butt buddy to Houston and someone intelligent will finally step up among the “historians” and “conservationists” to work out a compromise that gets the arena built and saves a few of the more meaningful structures in the area.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

“CALIFORNIA IS BURNING” IS A PHRASE THAT GETS MORE USAGE EVERY YEAR.  SO WHAT WE HAVE LEARNED FROM CLIMATE CHANGE PATTERNS IS THAT SOME PLACES WILL GET SWALLOWED BY THE OCEAN AND CALIFORNIA WILL JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUST – Multiple fires are raging in California and two of them look pretty bad.  The Camp Fire in northern California practically wiped out the town of Paradise and the Woolsey Fire in the southern part of the state looks to destroy tons of homes around the Malibu area.  To add insult to injury, the Woolsey Fire is raging around the city of Thousand Oaks which just went through a terrible mass shooting/terrorist attack this past weekend that claimed the lives of 12 people in a country music bar.  Although the fires are not completely contained, most of the endangered areas have been evacuated and the firefighters on the ground will do all they can to limit loss of life and property.  It’s a sad state of affairs when writing about deadly forest fires and mass shootings becomes common practice.  Be careful out there, everyone.  (reuters.com)

IT WASN’T A BLUE TSUNAMI, BUT THE ELECTIONS DID PRODUCE A SIGNIFICANT BLUE WAVE – The mid-term elections are over and Democrats have taken over the House of Representatives and have come ever so close to flipping the Senate.  The Senate dream was a bit of a stretch considering most of the seats up for grabs were in majority Republican-held, hillbilly territory that worships Donald Trump – but they did come close.  So it might not have been a complete rebuke of Donald Trump and his idiot xenophobic, fascist policies – but the people have spoken and they are mad.  And even though he didn’t win, Beto O’Rourke lost the Texas Senate race by only 200,000 votes or so and helped lift Democrats around the state to upset wins.  It’s pretty amazing that a Democrat came that close to winning a statewide contest in Texas of, all places.  Maybe the state is finally turning blue.  You made El Paso fucking proud, Beto.  Onward to 2020 where hopefully we will finally be rid of the orange, fascist sack of shit in the White House.  (fivethirtyeight.com)

OUMUAMUA IS PROBABLY NOT A PIECE OF AN ALIEN SPACECRAFT, BUT IT MIGHT BE.  THE ONLY THING THAT SCIENTISTS CAN ALL AGREE ON IS THAT IT WAS WEIRD AND PENIS-SHAPED – Oumuamua was the weirdo space object that entered the solar system (and our hearts) from a weird trajectory last year that instantly generated speculation about being interstellar and maybe even an alien object.  In addition to the weird path in travels, its penis shape has also been a mystery because no known space objects of that size resemble a penis.  A new study by Harvard astronomers Shmuel Bialy and Abraham Loeb has suggested that because of its shape, size, trajectory and speed that it might be a solar sail or some other similar object from an alien spacecraft.  While the research offers this as just one possible explanation, many people have criticized the report.  But as it stands, it’s either alien space junk or a one-in-a-million penis-shaped object from a penis solar system where everything is shaped like penises.  You decide!  (abc.net.au)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION – 11/02/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

TONS OF PEOPLE ARE VOTING IN EL PASO, BUT WE NEED EVEN MORE TO KICK THE FASCISTS OUT OF OFFICE – Early voting numbers are breaking records in El Paso and throughout the state, but we need even more people to vote to kick the fascists out of office. Over 120,000 people have voted so far in El Paso and here’s hoping that even more people turn up on election day. So please vote on Tuesday to ensure that corrupt, boot-licking morons are kicked out of office. Vote for Beto O’Rourke and every other candidate that isn’t a fascist or a coward – America is counting on you. Everybody is voting, El Paso, don’t be left out! (kvia.com)

HELLO, COLDNESS. THE WEATHER OUTSIDE CAN FINALLY MATCH THE COLD, DARK RECESSES OF MY DEPRESSED HEART. YAYYYYYYY! EMO POWERS ACTIVATE! – Fall is progressing and Winter is slowly approaching and the cold weather is finally returning to the Greater Mogollon region. Temperatures have dropped throughout the area and this week has seen the first freezes and even snow in some parts of our neck of the woods. So while the temperature will fluctuate between super hot and super cold in El Paso, as is the case every Fall and Winter, you can start enjoying Winter early by going out to Ski Apache – they’ve already had snow! (cbs4local.com)

HOORAY! SAN ELIZARIO IS GETTING A (SORT OF) NEW LIBRARY. MEANWHILE IN SOCORRO, CITY COUNCIL DECIDED TO BLOW UP A LIBRARY. BECAUSE SOCORRO DON’T BELIEVE IN THAT FANCY BOOK LEARNING – In positive news, San Elizario High School has announced that their library will be now be open to the public. Access to books and computers is very important for the advancement of a community and it’s good to see San Elizario ISD step up and help the people in this way. Library access is very scarce in the mission area and this really gives everyone hope that things are looking up in the area. (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

MASS MURDER IS BECOMING SO COMMON IN AMERICA THAT PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO TREAT IT AS A DAILY NEWS STORY WITH NO MEANINGFUL IMPACT BEYOND A FEW DAYS. THAT’S JUST SAD – This is a story that is becoming all too familiar, a crazy moron with easy access to guns kills multiple civilians because of hate-filled beliefs. Last Saturday; a fat-ass, redneck piece of trash walked into a Synagogue in Pittsburgh and shot and killed 11 innocent people just because the conspiracy theories that he was a big fan of told him that “Jews are bad” and “immigrants are invading America”. That actually was the thing that set him off and that he mentioned in his last social media post – his belief that a specific Jewish organization was helping out refugees and bringing them into America for an invasion. Gee, where could such a feeble-minded idiot get the idea that “refugees were invading America”. It’s almost as if there is an ignorant fat ass in power that is stoking fear and hatred in America in order to get votes for his party in the upcoming election. Fuck this terrorist, racist piece of trash and all his enablers in power that use fear and hatred to divide people. 11 innocent people are dead because of the hate-filled rhetoric that is the new normal for the Republican Party and no one seems to want to call them out on it. (reuters.com)

IN FUNGUS WE TRUST – In the realm of biomaterial engineering, mycelium is gaining a reputation for being a truly super material. Mycelium is the very strong “root” structure of fungus that makes up most of its mass and is usually found beneath the surface. By controlling growth and allowing the mycelium to fill out molds, this super material can be used to make everything from boots to building materials and can one day even become the basis of “space construction” all over the solar system. Due to its light weight, low cost and ease of transport; fungus spores can be cheaply sent virtually anywhere. The BBC has a great article on the biomaterial applications of mycelium and how it can one day shape our future construction needs. Check it out if you want to learn more about the fascinating world of fungus, they aren’t just pizza toppings anymore. (bbc.com)

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PLEASE VOTE! – We’ve mentioned it before, but it bears repeating, PLEASE VOTE! If you didn’t do early voting, just show up on Tuesday and do your duty as a citizen of this country. In addition to Beto O’Rourke for Senate; other local, state and national races will be determined and we need your help to vote for non-fascists and decent human beings to rule this country. So to summarize, vote for Beto O’Rourke and every Democrat on the ballot. The Republicans have shown themselves to be nothing more than Donald Trump bootlickers who are one step short of becoming fascist foot soldiers. And if the Republican snowflakes don’t like the criticism, they can all go fuck themselves. Vote these fuckers out! This is no joke. (fivethirtyeight.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/26/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

ON PAPER, TRADING 44 ACRES FOR OVER 2,000 ACRES OF LAND IS A GREAT DEAL.  BUT GIVING AWAY 44 ACRES OF PRIME WESTSIDE REAL ESTATE FOR LAND IN THE UNDEVELOPED HINTERLANDS OF FAR NORTHEAST EL PASO IS STILL A GAMBLE.  BUT WE’RE GETTING A GIANT INDOOR WATER PARK, SO WHO CARES ABOUT THE OTHER GUY! – After what seems like decades of begging, the City of El Paso has finally managed to snare Great Wolf Lodge into setting up an operation in El Paso.  Although the deal is not yet finalized; with the vast amount of tax breaks and land swaps involved, it should be approved.  In return for his prime real estate on the Westside where Great Wolf will set up, Paul Foster will get thousands of acres in Far Northeast El Paso that have been awaiting development for years.  If the Northeast land gets developed property and generates taxes soon, this will be a win-win for everyone.  It’s still possible that Great Wolf Lodge goes back on the deal but, with the decade plus of tax breaks being offered, it makes great financial sense for them to set up shop in El Paso and build a world-class resort in the area.  Let’s see how this all shakes out when City Council votes on the plan on Tuesday.  (elpasotimes.com)

WE’RE ONE STEP CLOSER TO MAX GROSSMAN FINALLY SHUTTING THE FUCK UP – The City of El Paso has recently won more legal battles in its quest to build an arena in the former whore house area of Union Plaza and Max Grossman is down to his final appeals that he hopes to use to keep his name in the papers just a little longer.  The City of El Paso no longer has to give advance warning to tear down buildings in the arena footprint area and hopefully they can start the construction process as soon as possible just so this can all be done and over with.  Though Max Grossman has agreed to these terms, he still has a few more pointless appeals and legal cases that he will try to use via his billionaire buddies in east texas.  So although we aren’t at the end of this legal clusterfuck, it looks like we’re close to the end when Max Grossman just shuts the fuck up and lets the entire city move forward.  At this point no one else in the city really cares and it’s only one foreign out-of-towner who wants to see El Paso get left behind.  Meanwhile in Chihuahuita, the federal government is actually destroying a historical neighborhood with their stupid wall and Max Grossman and friends are eerily quiet.  I guess actual history takes a back seat when it comes to kissing Donald Trump’s ass and letting them do whatever the hell they want.  (cbs4local.com)

IF 3D PRINTING WERE A SPORT, UTEP WOULD BE NATIONAL CHAMPIONS! – While UTEP athletics have not been too competitive lately, at least we’re kicking ass in 3D printing and high tech research!  UTEP’s EM Lab team led by Raymond C. Rumpf has been developing new and exciting technology for years and their latest creation looks to be one of their most important.  It turns out that researchers at the UTEP lab have created the first true three-dimensional volumetric circuit using a 3D printer.  If this line of research is successful it can revolutionize the manufacturing of microchips and benefit electronics manufacturers of all types.  Good show, UTEP.  Does anyone know if Dr. Rumpf can coach any sports?  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WELL, IT WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED.  CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF AND BASIC ECONOMIC THEORY, STUPID TARIFFS AND OVERVALUED COMPANIES DO NOT LEAD TO A STRONG ECONOMY – Stocks are down worldwide and economies all over the world are going into the shitter.  Though it’s not an official “crash”, Friday was a pretty bad day for stock markets around the world and there is no real positive news to keep the charade going.  But I’m sure we can expect a dead cat bounce and shameless attempts to prop up dead companies in order to get as much cash as possible from the markets.  The Christmas season is going to have to put up some phenomenal numbers to keep all the markets from going into super Yogi the Bear territory.  (bbc.com)

SURPRISE, SURPRISE.  THE IDIOT WHO SENT BOMBS TO VARIOUS DEMOCRATIC PARTY LEADERS IS A TRUMP FANATIC.  A REALLY, REALLY BIG TRUMP FANATIC – Predictably, the person responsible for sending all those mail bombs this week was an idiot from Florida that was obsessed with Donald Trump and his hate-filled rhetoric.  The idiot in question is Cesar Sayoc and there is no doubt that this guy was influenced by Donald Trump and has been obsessing over him for years.  His entire fucking van was covered with pro-Trump stickers for crying out loud ……. literally the entire van was covered by stupid pro-Trump meme stickers.  Luckily, or predictably, the bomber was a moron and none of the bombs went off.  But even though the idiot looks like he was the president of the Florida branch of the Donald Trump fan club, conservatives will just brush this off and ignore the fact that the FUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES practically influenced an insane person to go on a bombing spree.  But sure, let’s just continue to ignore Donald Trump’s violent rhetoric and just lie and say that “both sides do it” and use that as a catchall excuse for his idiocy.  (reuters.com)

DIONE, SATURN’S MOON, APPEARS TO BE COVERED BY MYSTERIOUS STRIPES.  IT MIGHT BE ALIENS, BUT IT’S PROBABLY NOT – Researchers from the Planetary Science Institute and the Smithsonian are currently studying what caused the mysterious stripes found on the Saturnian Orb, Dione.  So far, scientists have found that the mostly linear lines are most likely caused by materials falling from the heavens and not from surface activity.  Because there is no concrete explanation so far, we are obligated by internet law to claim that the lines on Dione were caused by aliens in order to increase traffic to this article.  So if anyone asks, the mystery lines on Dione might have been caused by aliens.  Though they were probably not caused by aliens.  For more information on these mysterious moon features without our expert alien speculation, you can find the full report in the journal Geophysical Research Letters.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/19/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

MAYBE WE SHOULD LET THE EL PASO CHILDREN’S MUSEUM RUN ALL THE QUALITY OF LIFE BOND PROJECTS.  THEY SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ONES MAKING RATIONAL, INTELLIGENT DECISIONS – The El Paso Children’s Museum Committee has announced that they have chosen Snohetta as the architectural firm that will be designing the museum.  Snohetta had the best presentation in the design contest and the project they have planned for the museum should be world class.  Once more, the El Paso Community Foundation and the Children’s Museum have done excellent work and are one of the few organizations in the city that can competently do public/private partnerships in El Paso.  The $60 million project has everyone excited and there should be no problem raising the private capital that will push this project to the next level.  Maybe we should get these guys to also manage the cultural center and arena projects.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

A MAJOR INFRASTRUCTURE PROJECT IN THE LOWER VALLEY?!?  WHAT SORT OF SORCERY IS THIS?  EVERYONE KNOWS THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT CONSIDERS THIS AREA AN IMAGINARY PLACE LIKE ATLANTIS AND CAMELOT – After years of traffic issues near the international bridge on Zaragoza, the City of El Paso and Camino Real Regional Mobility Authority will address these problems with major projects in the area.  The main solution for this traffic problem will be the extension of Winn Road and its conversion to a 4-lane road to connect to an updated entrance area at the bridge.  In addition, changes will be made to the ramps on Loop 375 in the area to create a more efficient flow of traffic.  Hopefully this will further separate the commercial traffic from the normal traffic that goes in and out of the bridge and create a much safer and free flowing traffic environment.  It’s good to see the Lower Valley be acknowledged by the government.  Who knew it was a real place?  (cbs4local.com)

EVERYONE DESERVES A JOB AND A PLACE TO CALL HOME – Although homelessness isn’t as big of a problem here as in other parts of the world, it is still a problem facing El Paso.  The El Paso Herald Post has an excellent write up on the local homeless issue presented via a profile on a homeless person befriended by the writer.  Like most tales of homelessness, the story of Chuck and his dog is filled with tragedy and sadness.  But his story does put things in perspective and gives a human face to this ever growing issue that needs society’s full attention.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

NOW BOB AND DOUG MCKENZIE CAN GET DRUNK AND HIGH!  GOOD SHOW, CANADA! – It’s official, Marijuana is now legal in Canada.  The country now joins Uruguay as one of the few countries where weed is legal on a national level.  The move will generate tons of extra revenue for the government in addition to denting the power of drug dealers and minimizing the unnecessary amount of individuals being placed in prison for bullshit “crimes”.  Canada is taking a brave stance in the face of the disastrous “war on drugs” that has engulfed the world over the past few decades and is showing that advanced countries can control drug use in other non-authoritarian ways.  Meanwhile, south of the border in America, fascists are in control of the government, rapists are being placed on the Supreme court and the war on drugs continues to waste trillions of dollars while accomplishing jack shit.  Advantage:  Canada.  (reuters.com)

IF YOU CAN’T TRUST THE COUNTRY THAT PROVIDED THE MOST 9/11 HIJACKERS THEN SWEPT THE INFORMATION UNDER THE RUG, THEN WHO CAN YOU TRUST? – After weeks of lies and denials, the Saudi Arabian government has finally admitted that Jamal Khashoggi DID die in the consulate and did not leave happy and alive as previously stated.  But it was totally an accident, guys – they promise!  No one is really buying their current story about a fight that ended in accidental death, but more cover-ups will be on the way until they make up a suitable story that is accepted by the world and that throws everyone under the bus except Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman.  For its part, the American government led by Donald Trump is just nodding like morons accepting everything that the Saudi government says because they care more about money than anything else.  Donald Trump is completely against “terrorist” nations like Iran and Qatar, unless those nations kiss his ass and offer “business opportunities that are not really business opportunities (wink wink)” like Saudi Arabia.  They’re only ‘terrorists” if they don’t give Donald Trump a nice piece of the action.  Maybe Yemen should have let Donald Trump build a shitty ass hotel.  (bbc.com)

AND THAT’S WHY WE HAVE RULES, LAWS AND EVENT PERMITS.  PERMITS ARE A BURDEN BUT COMPLETELY NECESSARY – Tragedy struck near the northern Indian city of Amritsar this week when a train slammed into a crowd of people watching a Dusshera fireworks display while gathering on top of live rail tracks.  Over 60 people are dead and hundreds are hurt in this accident that could have easily been prevented with competent planning and reasonable rules, regulations and permits.  The videos emerging from the scene are chilling and it’s remarkable that more people are not hurt after this horrible accident.  Although many people will end up being blamed for this disaster, the person who organized this event right next to live rail lines and the government officials who approved such a stupid idea are the ones who will get the brunt of the people’s wrath.  Permits are not just there to annoy people, they are there to prevent stupid ideas from becoming terrifying disasters.  (bbc.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/12/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THIS IS HOW THE EL PASO POLICE DEPARTMENT ACTS WHEN DEALING WITH A SUICIDAL OLD MAN, IMAGINE WHAT THEY’LL DO WHEN FACED WITH A REAL EMERGENCY – The El Paso Police Department shut down local businesses around the Pebble Hills Command Center and forced employees and customers to stay inside for hours after an elderly man named Richard Palafox was shot by 3 officers because he allegedly threatened them with a weapon.  Naturally the police department did this overkill shut down for safety reasons and not to stack up easy overtime for their officers.  Lord knows the El Paso Police Department has never had shameless overtime scandals and only does overkill scenarios like this for safety reasons.  If this is how they act with an old man with a gun, if there’s ever a mass shooting event in the city they’ll probably shut down the entire town and force people to stay indoors for a week.  (cbs4local.com)

TWO LIONS AND A TIGER WERE FOUND IN A RESIDENTIAL PROPERTY IN JUAREZ AFTER THEIR OWNER SHOWED UP TO THE HOSPITAL WITH LARGE FELINE-RELATED INJURIES.  OF COURSE, DRUGS AND DRUG DEALING ARE NOT PART OF THIS CASE – The authorities in Juarez have moved two lions and a tiger to a rescue facility after they were taken from their owner who did not have the proper paperwork.  This being Juarez, apparently there is such a thing as a permit to own lions and tigers  So far the owner’s only punishment has been to be mauled by a large feline and having the cats removed from his property.  The authorities could possibly investigate how a regular person had enough money to purchase 3 large predatory cats, but they probably won’t.  Obviously drug dealing was not involved in this case and the authorities will just count this as a win after placing the cats in a shelter.  (cbs4local.com)

MAYBE THE MOUNTAIN LION JUST WANTED TO CHECK OUT THE NEW EXHIBITS AT THE EL PASO ZOO – The El Paso Zoo was on lock down on Friday after security at the zoo allegedly saw a mountain lion around the property.  No “mountain lion” has actually been caught, so this might just be a false alarm and the security guards may have just seen a really large cat.  It’s very easy to confuse Garfield with a mountain lion or any other medium size wildcat.  The mountain lion is believed to come from the Franklin Mountains, but they had some random idiot on the local news say the mountain lion came from Juarez – which is a theory so stupid that we won’t even bother discussing it.  But people in the area shouldn’t worry too much about this, if it were a true “mountain lion emergency” EPPD would have shut down the freeway and all the businesses in a 5 mile radius to make sure everyone was “safe” and not because of sweet, sweet overtime pay.  Then they would shoot a random house cat because it was being “suspicious” and label it “case closed”.  (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

YOU’D THINK A COUNTRY PLANNING TO SECRETLY MURDER SOMEONE WOULD MAKE AN EFFORT TO AT LEAST TRY TO KEEP IT SECRETISH – Jamal Khashoggi disappeared in Turkey more than a week ago and all evidence points to at least some involvement by Saudi Arabia.  There is video of Khashoggi entering the Saudi Arabia consulate in Turkey, but no evidence that he actually left.  So either he was murdered in there or he magically disappeared.  Turkey is claiming to have audio and video of the murder and Saudi Arabia is responding by covering their ears and yelling “Fake News”.  Even if Saudi Arabia did murder the government critic, nothing will really happen and the rest of the world will just wag their finger and act outraged (like when the Russian government murders people and blows up passenger planes and no one seems to do anything).  At most, Donald Trump will send out an angry tweet filled with empty threats and then nothing will happen.  (bbc.com)

WHO KNEW THAT HIRING IDIOTS TO RUN A COMPANY WOULD LEAD TO SUCH HORRIBLE RESULTS.  REST IN PEACE, SEARS – By Sunday we will know if Sears will shut down completely or will live on for at least a few more months.  It’s no surprise that Sears is in horrible condition.  They’ve been selling off assets and engaging in stupid business practices for more than a decade.  At the moment, Sears’ stock is in the toilet and the company doesn’t have the money to keep all of its stores open.  The company is pinning their hopes on a bankruptcy plan that will keep about half of their 700 stores open, but it’s too early to tell if this will be enough to permanently save the company.  So while not completely dead, this past week’s stock market drop has at least put Sears in a coma.  (reuters.com)

HALLOWEEN IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER.  LET’S ALL GO EAT SPOOKY TREATS AT BURGER KING! – Japan has really embraced Halloween in the past decade and one of the most unique things that they have is that almost every store and restaurant has special Halloween items on the menu.  Burger King is one of the companies embracing this trend in America and this year they have brought the Frozen Fanta Scary Black Cherry drink to their stores.  In the past they have also served whoppers on black buns, so Burger King has been on the cutting edge of American Halloween treats.  Here’s hoping more American businesses embrace this trend and start giving us more spooky treats for October.  (cbs4local.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 10/05/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EL PASO’S PROFESSIONAL FUTBALL TEAM FINALLY HAS A NAME AND …….. IT’S A PRETTY FUCKING COOL NAME.  MOUNTAINSTAR COULD HAVE REALLY SCREWED THIS UP, BUT THEY CAME THROUGH.  I’M IMPRESSED – MountainStar Sports Group officially announced the name of their new soccer club to much fanfare this week and also gave everyone a first peak at the logo and color scheme for the team.  Welcome the El Paso Locomotive FC to your sports loving hearts!  The name, logo and colors are surprisingly good and the presentation went pretty well.  Overall, most people are really excited about the team and they might pack more people into the Chihuahua’s City Hall Field per game than the actual official tenants.  And if the team proves to be successful, we can see a large stadium project in their future if they can guarantee a shot at being promoted into the MLS.  I would have preferred if the team were named FC Lokomotiv El Paso for traditionalist reasons, but all in all the name and team has great potential.  CHOO CHOO!  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

 HOORAY!  THEY HAVE FINISHED THE CONNECTIONS ON US-85 IN THE VICINITY OF PAISANO AND SUNLAND PARK.  TRAFFIC IS STILL A DISASTER IN THAT AREA, BUT AT LEAST IT’S NO LONGER AN APOCALYPTIC CLUSTERFUCK – In a pleasant surprise, txdot has announced the completion of bridge roads on US-85 from Paisano to Sunland Park.  This should help alleviate some of the traffic on I-10 in that area and also takes us one step closer to the super loop that will one day wrap around all of El Paso.  So next time you find yourself in the traffic clusterfuck known as I-10 on the Westside, just use Paisano instead.  (cbs4local.com)

SHEEP AND GOATS AND COWS, OH MY!  – NMSU will be holding its annual Ag Day Degree training program later this month and this time they will also have a special sheep and goat symposium devoted to everything you wanted to know about sheep and goats, but were afraid to ask.  The event will start on Thursday, October 18 and continue through the weekend.  The combined fee for both events is only $50 and is a great way to get a taste of NMSU’s world class agriculture programs.  So if you were ever curious about farming and related topics, this is your chance to learn from professionals!  It’s good to see the sheepies finally get their day in the sun.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S VERY HARD TO ELECT A DICTATOR INTO A DEMOCRATIC OFFICE, BRAZIL LOOKS TO ACCOMPLISH THIS VIRTUALLY IMPOSSIBLE FEAT THIS WEEKEND – The Brazilian presidential election is this Sunday and right wing, wannabe dictator Jair Bolsonaro is the front runner.  Bolsonaro has literally said he is in favor of a dictatorship and has been skyrocketing up the polls by promising to fix Brazil’s crime and corruption problems by unchecked, extra judicial force and general vitriol.  So Brazil basically wants to stop a tire fire by pouring gasoline on top of it.  The election will probably go into a run-off where the idiot will face the more stable Fernando Haddad, but even then it looks like Bolsonaro has a good chance of winning.  Fascism looks to be on the rise and the world should be very careful when right wing idiots start coming to power in droves.  (reuters.com)

IN IMPORTANT NEWS THAT THE WORLD SHOULD PROBABLY BE PAYING ATTENTION TOO, CAMEROON IS CURRENTLY IN THE MIDST OF A BORDERLINE CIVIL WAR BETWEEN FRENCH AND ENGLISH SPEAKERS.  YOU’D THINK SOMETHING THAT CRAZY WOULD GET MORE PRESS COVERAGE – In Cameroon, separatists in the Northwest and Southwest English speaking parts of the Country are seeking independence from the French speaking government.  Although the government claims that things are under control, tensions are still high in the separatist regions and the revolutionaries are vowing to stop the presidential election vote in these areas.  The divisions in these regions run deeper than French vs. English, but this appears to be the straw that broke the camel’s back.  When you start creating boundaries and borders from hundreds of miles away with no actual thought given to the people that live there, you will always have problems.  This is the curse of the Frankenstein countries that cobble together as much land as possible simply for the greed of it.  coughcough  I’m looking in your direction, Russia and America.  (reuters.com)

IN ADDITION TO PLACING A SEXUAL PREDATOR IN THE SUPREME COURT, THE PEOPLE IN POWER ARE PLACING CHILDREN IN INTERNMENT CAMPS.  AMERICA IS TURNING INTO A BANANA REPUBLIC RIGHT BEFORE OUR EYES – So now even more children are being placed in internment camps in Tornillo with no release in sight and they aren’t even being offered an education while in custody.  At this very moment, hypocrite and spineless Republicans in Washington are shrugging their shoulders and saying, “At least they haven’t built any gas chambers yet.”  This country is going into the fascist shitter faster than anyone thought possible.  (cbs4local.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/28/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IF THERE IS NO SNAZZY ENTRANCE THEMES, CHAIR SWINGING AND/OR HEEL TURNS AT THIS YEAR’S SUN BOWL PARADE; I WILL BE GREATLY DISAPPOINTED – Congratulations go out to WWE star Sin Cara for being named the Grand Marshal of the upcoming Thanksgiving Sun Bowl Parade.  It’s good to see more people recognizing the rich wrestling tradition of the Paso Del Norte Region.  For those not familiar with him, Sin Cara is an El Paso native and Burges High School graduate who rose through the ranks of the WWE to become one if it’s top wrestlers.  He wrestles in the luchador style and, keeping with tradition, wears a mask to conceal his identity.  Although you can figure out who he is by the info given in his biography, we will respect tradition and not unmask Sin Cara.  So mark your calendars, start practicing your wrestling moves and be sure to attend the 82nd Annual FirstLight Federal Credit Union Sun Bowl Parade this Thanksgiving.   (kvia.com)

THE CHASE TOWER IS DEAD, LONG LIVE ONE SAN JACINTO PLAZA TOWER – After Chase Bank moved its El Paso headquarters to the Mills Building, the Chase Tower had been looking for a new identity.  The building’s owners have now unveiled the building’s new name as ‘One San Jacinto Plaza’ in addition to a revamped LED lighting system that will cover the building’s façade in programmable light.  So now the city can celebrate the UTEP football team’s next win with a spectacular blue and orange color changing light show at One San Jacinto Plaza.  Just a few more years and I think we’ll finally be able to enjoy that UTEP light show!  (cbs4local.com)

ALASKA AIRLINES IS COMING TO EL PASO.  THERE WILL, HOWEVER, BE NO DIRECT FLIGHTS TO ALASKA – Good news for fans of low cost traveling as Alaska Airlines will enter the El Paso market in February 2019.  The airline will offer daily direct flights to San Diego and Seattle and will give people in the region a low cost alternative when traveling to the west coast.  Now El Pasoans will spend less money whenever they want to go see what rain looks like!  Seattle is just a budget flight away.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

INDONESIA HAS THE WORST LUCK WITH TSUNAMIS – A magnitude 7.5 earthquake near Sulawesi Island in Indonesia has created a tsunami that has devastated the city of Palu.  Waves reaching heights of 10 feet were reported and videos/photos coming out of the scene show a freakishly strong tsunami compared to the magnitude of the earthquake.  There are over 300 confirmed fatalities from this disaster, but it looks like the final count will be much higher.  Let’s hope the worst is over for Palu.  (bbc.com)

THIS WAS A GREAT WEEK FOR FANS OF HOPPING ROBOTS – Japan’s Hayabusa2 space mission entered the history books this week when it successfully deployed 2 rovers onto the surface of the Ryugu asteroid.  This is the first time that a working rover has been placed on an asteroid and is a hell of an accomplishment for Japan and the scientific community in general.  Traditional rovers wouldn’t work on the rocky and uneven surface of an asteroid, so the mission developed an ingenious solution where the rovers ‘hop’ (technically it’s more like floating or hovering) to get from one place to another.  The rovers are already sending pictures and data and even more spacecraft are on their way to analyze this asteroid.  Space mining promises to be one of the main drivers for future space exploration and this mission will hopefully encourage even more research into the potentially lucrative asteroid belt.  (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION IS A SHIT SHOW – After trying to ram Brett Kavanaugh through to the Supreme Court, Donald Trump has now called for a “limited” FBI investigation into allegations that Brett is a cliché, affluenza-filled, frat boy, douchebag, rapist drunk.  Donald Trump is just trying to save face after the powerful testimony by Christine Blasey Ford, but the damage is already done.  All he had to do was find a conservative, moralist idiot with a clean past and he could have easily stacked the courts in his party’s favor.  And he couldn’t even do that right.  He went ahead and picked the most insufferable moron with giant, rapey skeletons in the closet and now the country is even more divided.  I like to think that Donald Trump just picked Brett Kavanaugh because he has so many things in common with him; things like lying, sexual assault and a narcissistic sense of entitlement.  So now we wait to see if the FBI points out the obvious and confirms that Kavanaugh is an untrustworthy, perjury-loving, possible rapist.  Or if they tone down their results as a result of Trump’s interference.  The fact is, that aside from 5 Republican Senators, the Republicans in power would gladly place Lucifer in the Supreme Court if it meant they could have a right leaning majority that can rule favorably on any far-right, pro-Trump bullshit cases that they bring in the future.  Let us hope the level headed Republican members of the Senate can show some backbone and not vote for a glorified frat boy rapist as a Supreme Court Justice.  (reuters.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION – 09/21/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

BECAUSE THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT THE BORDER, THEY WILL NOW WASTE MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TO REPLACE THE WORTHLESS FENCE IN DOWNTOWN EL PASO, THAT WAS NOT NEEDED IN THE FIRST PLACE, WITH AN EQUALLY WORTHLESS “WALL” – The Trump administration will start construction on Saturday for a project to replace the Jurassic Park-style fence in Downtown El Paso with an equally garish border wall that will have no added benefit on the current situation in that area.  But with a bigger fence the Border Patrol agents in that area will now have more time to scratch their ass and shoot at children at Juarez who may or may not be throwing rocks.  Although this wall will be an abomination in the Chihuahuita neighborhood, it’s interesting to note that Max Grossman and his billionaire butt buddy in Houston have not chimed in about the importance of “saving El Paso history” in this area.  I guess that whole “saving history” shtick is only valid for certain projects.  Some local organizations are fighting this stupid waste of money with all their might, but it is all for naught.  When the fascist federal government decides to do something, they will gladly violate any and all laws to get their racist projects done.  The only way to get rid of the fascists is to vote them out, if we don’t vote against fascism we will only have ourselves to blame if the far right extremists destroy the country.  (kvia.com)

GOODBYE, WYLER AERIAL TRAMWAY.  IT’S A SHAME THE TEXAS PARKS AND WILDLIFE DEPARTMENT IS SO FUCKING INCOMPETENT THEY COULDN’T GIVE THE COMMUNITY ADVANCE WARNING THAT THE TRAMWAY HAD TO BE REPLACED AND WAS NO LONGER “SAFE” – After decades of service, the Wyler Aerial Tramway was suddenly shut down after the texas Parks and Wildlife Department cited an engineering report that implied that the tramway might be beyond its normal operating range in terms of years.  Although safety is important, the fact that the idiots in this texas agency decided to do this at the last minute with no planning or public outreach really leaves a bad taste in everybody’s mouth.  Naturally, Austin says there is no money to reopen or replace the tram even though it has passed inspections and is as good as ever.  So once more, we get fucked by Austin and don’t even get a chance to save one of El Paso’s most beloved attractions.  God, the texas government is full of dumbasses.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

YSLETA HIGH SCHOOL GIVES ONE LAST HOORAH FOR PAUL CAIN – One of Ysleta High’s most beloved teachers passed away earlier this year, but the school has not forgotten Paul Cain and will honor him during homecoming for the decades of service he gave to the school.  Mr. Paul Cain has been named the Grand Marshal (in memorial) for the homecoming parade and his family will speak during homecoming festivities this weekend.  Paul Cain taught at Ysleta for 42 years and in that time helped lead the school to multiple High Q championships as well as mentoring many students who would go on to attend prestigious universities such as MIT.  Good show, Ysleta.  Good show, Mr. Cain.  (elpasoheraldpost.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

WOW, THIS WHOLE BREXIT THING IS WORKING OUT REMARKABLY WELL.  WHAT A BRILLIANT IDEA! – In news that surprised no one, British Prime Minister Theresa May is finding out the hard way that based on population, economics and every possible metric imaginable – the European Union has the dominant hand in negotiations with the UK.  Some delusional people probably thought the tail could wag the dog when they voted for Brexit, but now they are realizing that they can’t have their cake and eat it too and will have to accept what the European Union wants if they still want to be treated as part of (but not really part of) the common European market.  This in turn has inspired Theresa May to throw a temper tantrum and proclaim that the EU is not treating the UK with “respect”.  Geez, you’re the fuckers who voted to leave the Union and then went begging for special treatment from the SAME FUCKING PEOPLE you voted to split away from.  These Brexiteers really have a delusional sense of entitlement.  (bbc.com)

LOOKS LIKE CHINA AND THE VATICAN ARE GOING TO BE FRIENDS NOW.  GUESS RELIGION ISN’T THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE AFTER ALL – Even though China is a “communist” nation, they still allow state-monitored religion and even have their own state-sponsored offshoot of the Catholic faith.  But after more than 70 years, it appears like the Chinese government and the Vatican will resume diplomatic relations and allow the millions of Catholics in China to be considered official Catholics by all parties.  Historically, Chinese Catholics were split between the state-sponsored variety and the underground church that did not want to be told what to do by Beijing.  If relations resume, the Vatican will have a say in who is chosen as a Bishop and the official clergy in China and will also create a better opportunity to unite and expand the church in China.  Not everyone is excited about this move by the Vatican, but at least no one is claiming to be Jesus Christ’s brother.  As long as we don’t get a repeat of Hong Xiuquan and the Taiping Rebellion, we can call this a win for Christianity in China.  (reuters.com)

IT’S HITLER VERSUS LENNIN IN A POLITICAL BATTLE FOR THE HEART OF A SMALL PERUVIAN TOWN.  EVEN COMPARED TO HITLER VS. LENNIN, AMERICAN POLITICS IS STILL MORE FUCKED UP – Because people in small South American towns like to give their kids weirdo names, we have the odd mayoral campaign in Yungar where incumbent Hitler Alba is seeking re-election against Lennin Vladimir Rodriguez Valverde.  It should be noted that both men have nothing in common with their namesakes and are well aware of the negative connotations that their names give off to some people.  But that’s the name that their parents gave them and they are sticking with them because their parents didn’t really know any better when they gave them those names.  And given the vast scope of human history, every name has been shared with a horrible historical person at one point or another if you really look into it.  But yes, Hitler vs. Lennin makes for a very amusing campaign.  (reuters.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/14/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S KHALID APPRECIATION WEEKEND IN EL PASO!  PLAN ACCORDINGLY – Khalid has returned home to El Paso a conquering hero and he was rewarded by the El Paso city government with the key to the city.  In addition, Khalid will celebrate his triumphant return by playing back-to-back concerts at the Don Haskins Center on Friday and Saturday.  Well played, Khalid.  So make sure you celebrate Khalid Day by buying his album and jamming out to all his great songs – it’s the official way to celebrate this new holiday.  (cbs4local.com)

MORE THAN ONE WEEK LATER AND THE SUNSPOT OBSERVATORY IS STILL CLOSED WITH NO REASON GIVEN.  I DON’T WANT TO SAY IT’S ALIENS, BUT IT WAS PROBABLY A “WEATHER BALLOON” – Last week, the FBI mysteriously closed off the Sunspot Observatory near Cloudcroft and forced all the employees out of the premises.  No reason has been given for this closure and the tight lipped nature of the operation has led to many conspiracy theories popping up online.  It’s anybody’s guess as to what went down in the Sunspot Observatory.  But we can all agree that the authorities will make up some bullshit excuse over the closure that doesn’t even begin to explain the use of Blackhawk helicopters and federal agents on an NMSU facility.  My money is on an official explanation involving swamp gas and birds that look like UFOs.  (kvia.com)

I’VE SAID IT BEFORE, EL PASO NEEDS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER LIKE A PIG NEEDS TWO ASSHOLES.  THE ENTIRE FUCKING CITY IS A MEXICAN AMERICAN CULTURAL CENTER.  IT’S MORE THAN 2/3 “MEXICAN AMERICAN” AND “MEXICAN AMERICAN” IS THE DOMINANT CULTURE IN THE REGION! – As long as the city doesn’t go over budget and keeps the money spent in a respectable range, the Mexican American Cultural Center is okay.  It’s a stupid idea, but if it makes people happy and can be used by the entire community it will be a nice thing.  The latest plan to keep costs down is to expand the Downtown library with a new building and include the cultural center in the improved library/center complex.  This would cut down on costs and fit in nicely with the nearby history museum and future children’s museum.  Naturally, certain idiots in the city want to show off their Latino Superman nonsense and are asking for an even bigger center that requires even more taxpayer money.  These people are idiots and, even if they disrupt community meetings, they should just be ignored and the most financially responsible option should be used.  If there is no private sector push, let’s not let this snowball into a massive waste of money.  (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AT ONE POINT THIS WEEK, THERE WERE FOUR NAMED STORMS IN THE ATLANTIC IN ADDITION TO ALL THE OTHER STORMS RAMBLING AROUND IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN.  AND THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A BELOW-AVERAGE HURRICANE SEASON! – As Hurricane Florence soaks the Carolinas and Typhoon Mangkhut makes its way towards the Philippines and China, a bunch of other storms of varying sizes are twirling around all around the globe.  Whether you call them hurricanes, typhoons or cyclones; these storms are dangerous and all should be on alert when in their vicinity.  If this is a below-average season, I can’t imagine what it would be like if we were in an above-average season.  (bbc.com)

REMEMBER WHEN EBOLA OUTBREAKS WERE CONSIDERED SCIENCE FICTION AND THE WORLD WAS SCARED OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY BECAME REALITY?  AH, SIMPLER TIMES.  NOWADAYS EBOLA OUTBREAKS ARE SO COMMON IN AFRICA THAT THE REST OF THE WORLD JUST IGNORES THEM – Lost in the news cycle is the current Ebola outbreak impacting the Democratic Republic of Congo.  The outbreak has been occurring since August and 91 people have died out of 133 cases.  To make matters worse, this is all occurring among the backdrop of warring militant groups fighting for control of this part of the Congo.  Normally this would be pretty big news, but the rest of the world doesn’t really care about poor countries like Congo and tragedies like this are more common than many people think.  The global community should really pay attention to issues like this before they burn out of control.  (telegraph.co.uk)

IN ADDITION TO BEING A SMUG, SACK OF SHIT CONSERVATIVE ZEALOT; LOOKS LIKE BRETT KAVANAUGH IS ALSO A SEXUAL PREDATOR.  THIS WON’T DISQUALIFY HIM FROM THE SUPREME COURT AND ONLY MAKES HIM MORE IN LINE WITH REPUBLICAN IDEALS.  HE’LL BE ABLE TO JOIN FELLOW SEXUAL PREDATOR, CLARENCE “COCA COLA PUBIC HAIR” THOMAS, ON THE SUPREME COURT AND FOLLOW ORDERS FROM ULTIMATE SEXUAL PREDATOR, DONALD TRUMP – Brett Kavanaugh is an idiot conservative zealot and a lap dog for Donald Trump.  For those reasons, he should not be on the Supreme Court.  Though now it seems we can add sexual predator to Kavanaugh’’s list of accomplishments.  A woman has come forward and revealed that Brett Kavanaugh attempted to drunkenly sexually assault her at a high school party back in the ‘80s.  In his defense, getting drunk and trying to take advantage of incapacitated girls is the accepted norm for hypocrite Republicans.  So the Donald Trump shitshow just keeps on growing and we can only expect more creepy stories to come out regarding Brett Kavanaugh.  The guy literally looks like the adult bro embodiment of date rape and roofie abuse.  (newyorker.com)

 

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 09/07/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

IT TURNS OUT ONE OF THE NEGATIVES OF INSTALLING ARTIFICIAL TURF IN POORLY SECURED AREAS IS THAT IDIOTS CAN CAUSE HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DAMAGE THAT IS NOT EASILY REPAIRED.  IF EPISD WOULD HAVE JUST INSTALLED REGULAR GRASS AT BOWIE, THE VANDALIZED FIELD COULD HAVE BEEN FIXED WITH SOME DIRT AND $5 OF GRASS – After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to install spiffy artificial turf at Bowie High School Stadium, the field was severely damaged when 4 idiot teens drove their car onto the field to do donuts and then proceeded to vandalize other parts of the stadium.  The idiots were caught but, because laws don’t work and the idiots were minors, they will most likely get off with a slap on the wrist and taxpayers will be on the hook for the full cost of repairs.  Right about now I bet EPISD is wishing they didn’t waste all that money on artificial turf at Bowie without making sure that there was adequate barriers in place to prevent random vehicles from getting on the field.  That’s why you can’t have nice things, Bowie.  (cbs4local.com)

ONCE UPON A TIME, NMSU WANTED TO INCREASE ENROLLMENT SO THEY STARTED HANDING OUT A BUNCH OF SCHOLARSHIPS.  THE PLAN WORKED A LITTLE TOO WELL AND NOW NMSU HAS A BUDGET DEFICIT BECAUSE OF THE SCHEME.  OOPS! – NMSU has announced that they have a deficit in the $5 million range because of all the scholarships they have been giving out over the past few years.  For some ungodly reason NMSU included their scholarship students in their planned revenue stream, which is like including ghosts in the revenue stream.  Teachers are getting paid, no matter what, whether there is 1 student or 50.  So they can just stuff all the scholarship students and ghosts in the classrooms without spending an extra dime.  Just don’t count them in planned revenue and, VOILA, you don’t have a budget deficit.  So with that problem solved, keep on giving out scholarships like Halloween candy, NMSU.  Hell, if you start giving scholarships to cows and farm animals you can be considered visionary.  (cbs4local.com)

BILLY ABRAHAM IS IN JAIL AGAIN.  LOOKS LIKE ABRAHAM’S PAST IS OUT TO BITE HIM IN THE ASS – When you live your life in an antagonistic manner and do things without a care for consequences, eventually your actions catch up to you.  Or when your loaded and connected lawyer father dies, there’s no one left to cover your ass.  Either way, it looks like Billy Abraham is in trouble again and there is no one else to blame but himself.   The latest arrest comes from last year’s “elevator incident” in which Billy Abraham brazenly tried to manipulate and bribe witnesses in his attempts to change the inspection and operation dates on an unsafe elevator in one of his buildings that should not have been in service.  The government went after him for the elevator and he thought he could pull a fast one by dicking around with the inspection certificate.  Next time on the Billy Abraham legal soap opera:  bankruptcy court and a possible final partitioning of his property empire.  Stay tuned.  (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

ALTHOUGH THE ECONOMIC CLUSTERFUCK IN VENEZUELA AND ARGENTINA HAS NOT YET SPREAD TO BRAZIL, THEY ARE KEEPING BUSY WITH THEIR OWN CLUSTERFUCK THAT SAW THEIR NATIONAL MUSEUM GO UP IN FLAMES AND A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE GET STABBED DURING A CAMPAIGN STOP.  SO JUST ANOTHER WEEK IN BRAZIL – Last weekend, the National Museum in Rio caught fire and virtually all of its contents were lost.  The museum didn’t have a sprinkler system and the people in the country see this as an example of an incompetent government choked by corruption.  The anger of the people in Brazil is palpable and upcoming elections in October are stirring up strong emotions.  A few days ago, one of the front runners for the presidency was stabbed during a campaign stop and almost died.  Granted, Jair Bolsonaro is a right-wing, hate-filled nut job.  But no candidate should be in danger in any advanced democracy.  On the bright side, Brazil’s economy isn’t as crappy as Venezuela or Argentina.  So they’ve got that going for them …….. for now.  (reuters.com)

BURT REYNOLDS IS DOING CRAZY TRANS-AM STUNTS WITH JESUS AT THIS VERY MOMENT.  LONG LIVE BURT REYNOLDS – Some sad news this week as legendary actor Burt Reynolds passed away at the age of 82.  Burt Reynolds will be known for his amazing acting career that included such classics as Deliverance, Smokey and the Bandit and Boogie Nights.  His career ranged from every genre imaginable and he made an impact on both the large and small screen.  Burt Reynolds always had a smile on his face and it seems he had a lot of fun and enjoyed life to the fullest.  Rest in peace, Burt Reynolds.  (bbc.com)

ALTHOUGH THE HURRICANE SEASON STARTED OFF SLOW, IT’S LOOKING TO MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME WITH 3 POSSIBLE HURRICANES IN THE ATLANTIC AND MORE IN THE PACIFIC – Hurricane Florence is the big monster currently lurking in the Atlantic with its eyes set on the Carolinas.  But there are other storms taking aim at American territory on both sides of the globe.  By this time next week we might have major storms making impact from Guam to Hawaii to the Virgin Islands to the Carolinas.  Although the hurricane season started off slow, it looks like it’s coming on with a vengeance during the peak of the season.  Be careful out there.  (tbo.com)