Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 06/15/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

FROM WILDFIRES TO MUDSLIDES, THE MESCALERO APACHE TRIBE JUST CAN’T CATCH A BREAK – Over 1,000 acres of forest were burned down in last week’s fires near Mescalero, New Mexico and now heavy rains this weekend are expected to bring the threat of mudslides to the area. Wildfires burn down vegetation and that in turn causes the soil to wash away more easily and exasperates the runoff and mudslide potential. Federal authorities are working with the tribe and local governments to try and secure the area that is in danger of mudslides. A state of emergency has been issued by the Mescalero Apache Tribe and evacuations are still on the table in case things get real bad with the storms. And now the unpleasant waiting game begins. (cbs4local.com)

THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT IS NOT VERY GOOD AT BUDGETING AND RESPONSIBLE SPENDING. IN RELATED NEWS, THE SKY IS BLUE – In news that surprised no one, an audit has revealed that the new William Beaumont Army Medical Center in Far East El Paso is over $200 million over budget and 3 years behind schedule. The hospital project was started in 2013 and was expected to be completed in 2016 at a cost of $812 million, yet here we are. Incompetent contractors and an absurd amount of design changes have led to the bloated budget and, unless they are building a secret alien base and using the hospital as a cover, the time and money wasted is absurd even by federal government Baby Huey standards. The moral of the story is that the federal and state governments should never be in charge of anything and all money should just be funneled straight to the local level where it can be used efficiently. Let’s cross our fingers and hope Beaumont Medical Center actually gets completed by 2019. (cbs4local.com)

WE CAN ALWAYS NOT BUILD PLAYGROUNDS AND JUST HAVE CHILDREN RUN AROUND IN THE GRASS LIKE A NORMAL PARK – Parents in El Paso are mad that playgrounds are hot during the middle of the day IN SUMMER and are asking the city to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars for protective shelters at each playground location. Geez, can’t people just go early in the morning or wait until the fucking Sun goes down for their kids to use the playground? Do we really need to spend millions of dollars to coddle people who obviously don’t give a damn about anything and take their children outside during 100+ degree temperature days. Somehow people are up in arms over crappy buildings in Union Plaza being torn down yet aren’t protesting when the government plans to waste millions on pointless projects like playground shelters for dumbass parents and their kids. Your tax dollars at work. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

AFTER DECADES OF POSTURING AND COMPLAINING, GREECE WILL FINALLY RECOGNIZE THE COUNTRY OF ‘MACEDONIA’ AS LONG AS THEY CALL THEMSELVES ‘NORTH MACEDONIA’. GREECE LOVES ITS POINTLESS CONFLICTS – The leaders of Greece and Macedonia/North Macedonia have agreed, in principle, to a compromise that will see ‘Macedonia’ change its official name and Greece finally support the small country’s admission into the European Union and NATO. The compromise is 27 years in the making and is one of the more absurd political powder kegs that Greece has created for itself over the years. At issue was Greece’s objection to the name ‘Macedonia’ being used for a country because there is also a region of Greece known as ‘Macedonia’ and there were fears of future land grabs in the area. Also, Greece has a heavy Alexander The Great fetish and didn’t want to share him and his legend with the place that was now calling itself Macedonia – ‘Macedonia’ being the homeland of Alexander. Though it should be noted that after thousands of years very few people in this geographic region actually have a direct connection to him because thousands of years of migration will generally wipe away any pure genetic connection to any region of the world. But all this posturing seems to be in the rearview mirror and all that remains is for the respective citizens and representatives of the countries to agree to this and it will all be settled. Though because this is Greece and ‘North Macedonia’, we can expect lots of riots before any decision is made official. (bbc.com)

WHO KNEW DESTABILIZING LEGITIMATE GOVERNMENTS IN CENTRAL AMERICA IN ORDER TO FIGHT A FAIRY TALE BATTLE WITH THE SHADOW OF THE SOVIET UNION WOULD LEAD TO SO MANY NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES? – The American government generally reaps what it sows and the current shit show in Nicaragua is indirectly related to all the anti-communist paranoia in Central America that they engaged in for most of the 20^th century. Hell, the CIA might be directly involved in this one as well. President Daniel Ortega and his opposition have been fighting a bitter battle in Nicaragua over the past two months that has left over 170 dead. A truce has been called to try and end hostilities, but as long as President Ortega stays in power and offers no concessions the opposition will still keep on fighting. Considering what happened in the Contra War of the 1980s, this has the potential to explode in scope. Let’s just hope this doesn’t lead to another large refugee crisis in Central America, the idiot in the White House can barely manage the current trickle of immigrants without resorting to human rights violations. For the sake of the whole world, let’s hope that America stays out of this and just lets Nicaragua sort this out themselves with possibly the help of the UN. (reuters.com)

IN CONTINUING WITH THEIR STREAK OF AWARDING THE WORLD CUP TO COUNTRIES WITH FLAGRANT HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS, THE UNITED STATES WILL HOST THE WORLD CUP IN 2026 ON THE HEELS OF THE EVENTS IN RUSSIA AND QATAR – A joint bid by the United States, Canada and Mexico has been chosen by FIFA as the winning entry for the right to host the 2026 World Cup. The only competition was Morocco, but their lack of extreme human rights violations set them back in the voting. The addition of safe, secure and honorable Canada really set the bid back but Donald Trump’s decision to separate children from their parents at the border and place young kids in internment camps was the icing on the cake that put America on top of the voting and dwarfed all the horrible abuses that even Russia and Qatar have engaged in. Although the U.S. and Mexico can hold their own in human rights violations, which is something that FIFA looks for in its World Cup bids, Canada will have to step up its game if it truly wants to earn FIFA’s respect. (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 06/08/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

REMIND ME TO NEVER PISS OFF A HAIL STORM – An American Airlines flight from San Antonio to Phoenix made an emergency landing in El Paso after it went into the path of a severe Thunderstorm last Sunday. This was the same system that brought heavy rains and hail to the El Paso area on Sunday and judging by the after-pictures of the plane it was one hell of a severe storm. I don’t know how large the hail stones were, but they busted up the windshield and “completely fucked up the plane’s nose cone” (actual aviation term). Luckily no one was seriously injured in the incident and the plane will be repaired and live to fly another day. But let this be a lesson to everyone, don’t mess around with desert thunderstorms – they can cause a lot of damage. (cbs4local.com)

AFTER MULTIPLE INSPECTIONS, THE CITY OF EL PASO IS TAKING ACTION AGAINST THE OWNERS OF A BATTERED DOWNTOWN BUILDING TO KEEP IT UP TO CODE. THE PLOT TWIST IS THAT THE BUILDING DOESN’T BELONG TO BILLY ABRAHAM, FOR ONCE – The Popular Building in Downtown El Paso is a historic landmark designed by Henry Trost that once housed the Popular Department Store. Unfortunately, its glory days are long gone and the current owners aren’t exactly rushing to fix the property. After multiple violations, including mold and exposed electrical wires, the City of El Paso has finally put its foot down and given Fallas Paredes and its parent company 30 days to fix the most pressing problems at the building before fines and other punishments are levied on the owners. The building still has retail and some apartments on the first few floors and the owners do seem to have a legitimate restoration plan, so hopefully this will kick start the renovation of the building. Worst case scenario is that Billy Abraham somehow buys the building and nothing gets done for decades until he is sued by the estate of another deceased pop star. (elpasoinc.com)

SUPPORT YOUR LOCAL ARTISTS! – The Paso Del Norte music scene produces tons of great artists and now they have a new outlet to be heard … the El Paso International Music Foundation. The foundation is a great idea that hopes to offer networking and exposure opportunities to local musicians trying to get their music heard. And keeping with the El Paso music scene tradition, you can expect a lot of drama and everybody sleeping around with everyone else’s boyfriends/girlfriends. (elpasoinc.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

GUATEMALA’S FUEGO VOLCANO LIVED UP TO ITS NAME WITH DEADLY RESULTS. ON A RELATED NOTE, NEVER BUILD YOUR HOUSE NEXT TO SOMETHING CALLED FUEGO VOLCANO – The death toll of the disastrous Fuego volcano eruption is now over 100 as authorities and the people of Guatemala struggle during the recovery phase. The volcano erupted with a big explosion earlier this week and , unlike the slow burn lava flow previously seen in Hawaii, the action in Guatemala was limited to a short period of time but produced ultra-deadly pyroclastic flows and lahars that engulfed nearby villages with minimal warning. So as the desperate search for survivors reaches its end, the people are now looking to the authorities for help but also for answers as to why there was no warning about the impending eruption. Let’s hope this is the last we hear from Fuego for awhile. (reuters.com)

HOORAY! IT’S WORLD CUP TIME! THE MAGICAL CONTEST HELD EVERY FOUR YEARS WHERE GERMANY, SPAIN AND BRAZIL WILL COMPETE FOR THE TITLE OF SUPER MASTERS OF FUTBALL AS DOZENS OF OTHER TEAMS WITH A SNOWBALL’S CHANCE IN HELL PRETEND LIKE THEY HAVE AN ACTUAL CHANCE TO WIN – The World Cup starts next Thursday and, even though FIFA chose to have it in a borderline dictatorship like Putinland, at least they didn’t pick a country like Qatar to host the most important futball tournament in the world – that would just be absurd. So sit back and enjoy the magic as your productivity at work and in your personal life drop down to near zero as you aimlessly watch Tunisia vs. Panama while subconsciously wondering where your life went wrong. (dailymail.co.uk)

DONALD TRUMP WILL ALWAYS BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT – Donald Trump is now attacking our allies and is poised to make a fool of himself at the G7 Summit in Canada by bitching about unfair trade even though he understands nothing about global trade and business in general. The idiot probably thinks he can make America declare bankruptcy and he can just run off with all his ill-gotten gains when the whole thing collapses. This is sadly the reality we are living in. Oh, and he gets to meet with Kim Jong-un next week in his attempt to strike a “deal” with North Korea. So he has double the opportunity to make a global ass of himself in the next few days. The bar is so low that as long as he doesn’t give North Korea any American territories or islands as part of the “deal”, people will consider it a great success. (reuters.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 06/01/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

EPISD OFFERS A SURPRISE KICK IN THE BALLS TO MANY STUDENTS AS THEY LEAVE FOR SUMMER VACATION. EPISD DOESN’T HAVE MUCH TACT – In a surprise announcement that caught many off guard, the EPISD Board President and friends decided to let everyone know (during the last fucking week of school) that the district is low on funds and was probably going to close some schools to save money. Even the Superintendent was apparently caught off guard by this news as he only issued a statement on Friday and did not answer questions from the press. The optics of this announcement looks horrible as only last year the El Paso Independent School District got hundreds of millions of dollars in a bond election to consolidate and build new schools and now they are coming back and saying that enrollment is still collapsing and that schools will have to be shut down. Gee, maybe this should have been addressed when the district was asking voters for hundreds of millions of dollars. In addition, there are plans for the construction of a new central office building near Downtown El Paso and the fact that millions will be spent on that will make these school closures look even more awful in comparison. Most of the schools that are “under capacity” and in danger of closing are elementary schools in poor neighborhoods and that just adds to the increasingly horrible optics of this plan. It’s almost as if EPISD wants everyone to hate them and move their kids to another district thus allowing them to close even more schools! (cbs4local.com)

AS EXPECTED, BILLY ABRAHAM’S BANKRUPTCY FILING HAS LED TO SOME AMAZINGLY STUPID SCHEMES TO TRY AND KEEP THE COURT FROM SELLING OFF ALL HIS BUILDINGS. LUCKILY, THE JUDGE AND EVERYONE ELSE WITH A BRAIN CAN SEE HOW STUPID THESE SCHEMES ARE – In an attempt to prevent the court from selling off the American Furniture Building, Billy Abraham is working with Jose A. Gonzalez in a plan that will lease the building to accommodate an alleged Wyndham Hotel. While Paul Foster has made a $225,000 offer on the building, Jose A. Gonzalez is offering a $185,000 a year lease for the building which he says he will renovate and thus bring in a Wyndham hotel to the property. While this is all well and good, Jose A. Gonzalez is just as sketchy as Billy Abraham and has dozens of multi-million dollar projects “in the planning stages” all around the city in addition to his own financial legal issues. Judge H. Christopher Mott, who is handling the bankruptcy case, found all of this to be a bit fishy and has set a July 24 date for a hearing to determine if this is all feasible or just a shameless Abraham-Gonzalez scheme that will never get off the ground and is being proposed solely to keep the building from being sold. Stay tuned. (elpasoinc.com)

FREE ONIONS! CHEAP LEASES ON LAND! THIS CATTLE RANCHING RACKET SOUNDS PRETTY SWEET! – A mini controversy erupted in Las Cruces this week as residents found a huge pile of onions in the middle of the desert and decided to use social media to let people know that there were free onions available for everyone. Unfortunately, the onions belonged to the cows on some guys government leased land and were not put out there so people could go get them. The story garnered multiple news stories on local news sites and was quickly blown out of proportion. Things calmed down when it was explained that the onions were not dumped there as waste and that Barker Produce donated the non-consumer friendly onions to the rancher to feed to the cows. Barker Produce also offered to give cull onions to anyone who went to their company’s front desk and asked for them. Although they have a hard center, the rest of the onion is edible even though they are not too aesthetically pleasing. So problem solved and free onions for everyone! (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

HEY LOOK, ANOTHER EBOLA OUTBREAK IN AFRICA. ONE DAY LUCK WILL RUN OUT ON THE DUMBASSES RUNNING THESE COUNTRIES TO THE GROUND AND AN EBOLA OUTBREAK WILL BECOME CATASTROPHIC – The latest winner of the Ebola lottery is the Democratic Republic of Congo where the World Health Organization has increased their projections to 100 to 300 cases of Ebola this summer in the current outbreak region. Fortunately for everyone else, the outbreak is centered in the remote and sparsely populated Bikoro region and thus will probably not reach any major urban zones. Democratic Republic of Congo is a corrupt, war-ravaged borderline dictatorship; so the presence of Ebola in the country only makes a bad situation even worse. But the WHO is on the case and they have enough experience with this to stop this before it becomes something truly catastrophic. But we shouldn’t grow too complacent, one day luck will run out and the world will have to face prolonged exposure to Ebola in urban environments outside of Africa. (reuters.com)

THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THE CURRENT KILAUEA ERUPTION IS ENTERING A “CALM” PHASE, THE BAD NEWS IS THAT IT MIGHT BE BUILDING UP TO A BIGGER EXPLOSION THAN BEFORE – The volcanic lave flows continue on the big island of Hawaii and more homes and businesses continue to fall in the lava’s path. Even though the eruption has entered a calm phase, the lava still flows and this will continue to be a problem for the residents on this part of the island for some time to come. Though we should be careful not to sensationalize these eruptions and act like all of Hawaii is on fire, it is still a pretty big deal to the people in this area and the pictures and videos of the lava and eruptions are simply spellbinding. Be safe, Hawaii, and let’s hope that the calming isn’t a sign of more devastating things to come. (reuters.com)

DONALD TRUMP CONTINUES TO BE A COMPLETE, FUCKING CUNT AND ANYONE WHO IS OFFENDED BY THAT CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES – This week, Donald Trump decided to bully AMERICA’S ALLIES by putting tariffs on them and risked the start of a major trade war due to his stupidity and arrogance. Though these countries are America’s friends and allies, they won’t stand idly by as they are attacked by a jingoistic American jackass who sadly controls trade powers. Interestingly, Russia is not getting any major tariffs or sanctions, but fuck if Donald Trump would ever anger his masters. In addition, idiot Trump also went back and forth on the North Korea summit and defended racist tweets by Roseanne Barr. So it was quite the week for the racist, moron sack of shit that is currently in the Oval Office. Donald Trump is, and will always be, a complete, fucking cunt. (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/25/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WELCOME BACK, BASSETT TOWER! – After decades of neglect, the O.T. Bassett Tower has finally been renovated and many of its original features have been restored to their former glory. The iconic El Paso tower is now an Aloft hotel and includes an bar called WXYZ that will be open to the public. The ground floor areas at the base of the building will soon see some new restaurants that promise to inject some new life into the area. The pictures of the renovation look excellent and show that this was a high quality project for the city. Kudos to all involved for making this great project a reality. (ktsm.com)

EL PASO HAS TIRZ FEVER AND THE ONLY CURE IS MORE INVESTMENT AND DEVELOPMENTS – The City of El Paso is in the process of creating 2 new Tax Increment Reinvestment Zones, aka TIRZ, and expanding an existing one to include a larger area. The new TIRZ and the expansion area are located in Northwest and Northeast El Paso and are areas that are poised to see increased development in the coming years. TIRZ are a government tool that allows taxes generated in the zone to be reinvested for infrastructure and other projects that are unique to the zone. Overall, TIRZ are a great tool to encourage controlled growth and are a great way to handle taxes. But for those who still have questions, the City of El Paso will be holding public meetings to give more details on the zones and to handle any questions, suggestions and complaints that the public might have. Now is the time to speak up about this plan and to ask questions. Don’t wait until the project is practically ready to start before you begin the bitching and moaning like the fuckers who don’t want the Downtown Arena. It’s good to see the city making an attempt to handle growth and taxation responsibly. (elpasoheraldpost.com)

ONCE MORE, CONGRATULATIONS GO OUT TO KHALID. KHALID JUST CAN’T STOP WINNING AND KICKING ASS – El Paso’s beloved crooner, Khalid, has won another trophy to add to his extensive collection. The singer won the 2018 Billboard Music Award for Top New Artist and gave El Paso a shout out in the process. Kudos, Khalid. Your music is awesome and you are one hell of a guy. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IRELAND WAS ONE OF THE FEW CIVILIZED COUNTRIES IN THE WORLD THAT STILL HAD EXTREME LAWS AGAINST ABORTION. LOOKS LIKE IRELAND WILL BE CASTING THAT ANOMALY ASIDE AND WILL BE AN EVEN STRONGER MEMBER OF THE DEVELOPED WORLD – The Irish people have spoken and it looks like they are overwhelmingly behind Women’s basic rights. For years, abortion was only legal in Ireland when a mother’s life was in danger. But now it seems that Ireland will get less extreme laws when it comes to a woman’s right to choose. Exit polls are showing a landslide vote in favor of changing Ireland’s laws to allow abortions within the first three months and in special cases involving rape and incest. Although not as liberal as some of Europe’s other countries, the change to Ireland’s laws will finally give Irish women the basic rights that were denied to them for so long. (bbc.com)

THE ON AGAIN, OFF AGAIN NORTH KOREA – UNITED STATES SUMMIT APPEARS TO BE OFF AGAIN AS DONALD TRUMP AND KIM JONG-UN CONTINUE TO ACT LIKE TODDLERS WHILE HAVING NUCLEAR WEAPONS AT THEIR DISPOSAL – So after temper tantrums by both Kim Jong-un and Donald Trump, the planned June meeting between the leaders of both countries seems to be off. This could all change at the drop of a hat, however, as we are one penis-compliment away from both sides becoming friends and declaring the end to all nuclear weapons. Donald Trump is a moron and will probably GIVE North Korea nuclear weapons as long as Kim Jong-un compliments Donald Trump’s groin and talks shit about Hillary Clinton. Stay tuned, you never know what to expect when idiots with nuclear weapons get together. (bbc.com)

YES, APPARENTLY THE BORDER PATROL REALLY IS THAT FUCKING STUPID UP ON THE CANADIAN BORDER – Ana Suda and her friend are U.S. citizens and El Paso natives. They were recently stopped at a convenience store in Havre, Montana for speaking Spanish in public and being “suspicious”. Apparently, Border Patrol Agent Buford T. Buttfuck thought he made the bust of the century when he saw two people in Montana speaking Spanish and “obviously” planning terrorist cartel activity. Because, in his tiny mind, drug dealers are so fucking stupid that they would bring attention to themselves by speaking Spanish in front of a Border Patrol agent in MiddleOfNowhere, Montana. The two women were released after being questioned, but not after recording the cringe-worthy encounter with the dumbass border security guard. Border Patrol Agents aren’t exactly the FBI or CIA and you must score really low to end up on assignment in the hinterlands of the Canadian border. Rest assured, the Border Patrol Agents in the southern border would never be this ignorant and even they think the Border Security Guard Force patrolling Canada is the bottom of the barrel. (cbs4local.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/18/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

DOWNTOWN EL PASO IS GETTING A NEW TALL BUILDING! IT’S NOT A HIGH RISE OR A SKYSCRAPER, BUT AT 18 FLOORS IT’S A START – The city and county governments of El Paso have approved millions of dollars in tax incentives and rebates to Hunt Companies and WestStar Bank for the construction of a large headquarters in Downtown El Paso. The building will be built on the corner of North Mesa and I-10 next to the giant ditch where they decided to put the freeway. In addition to housing the main offices of Hunt Companies and WestStar Bank, the building will also include parking and office space for rent. Hopefully this jump starts new construction projects in Downtown and maybe we’ll finally get a new high rise or skyscraper in El Paso. Kudos to everyone involved for making this excellent project happen. (elpasoinc.com)

HUGS NOT WALLS. THAT SHORT PHRASE SAYS IT ALL – Last Saturday, hundreds of families were briefly reunited on the Rio Grande as the Border Network For Human Rights organized the fifth annual Hugs Not Walls event. People from both sides of the border met on the El Paso side of the river for a brief time without fear of punishment and with permission from the authorities. The fact that this has been going on for five years just goes to show that this idiotic obsession with walls and xenophobia the country is experiencing goes way beyond Donald Trump and his stupidity. Some parts of Murica are just really, really fucking racist and stupid. This is a great event for the community and we should do all we can to support the Border Network For Human Rights and everyone else that is trying to create a positive border. Fuck the wall! It’s all about Hugs Not Walls. (ktsm.com)

IT’S LIKE ONE OF THOSE DELIGHTFUL TEEN COMEDIES WHERE STUDENTS GET TOGETHER IN AN ELABORATE SCHEME TO CHANGE THEIR GRADES AND THEN LEARN A VALUABLE LESSON ABOUT LIFE. ONLY NONE OF THE GADSDEN TEENS ARE DELIGHTFUL AND THEY DIDN’T LEARN JACK – The Gadsden School District and Gadsden High are in the midst of a scandal as it was recently revealed that over 50 students were involved in a cheating scheme. The students allegedly gained access to a computer program used for credit recovery (more than likely a student got a teacher’s easy to guess password) and then proceeded to change their grades. If the kids were smart they would have only done this with a few students and only changed their grades slightly and thus would have never been caught. But the fact that they allowed over 50 idiots to get in on the scheme and then made obvious grade changes leads me to believe that these weren’t the best and brightest that Gadsden has to offer. So now multiple students have been punished and many more will no longer be able to graduate this year. All because they got greedy and stupid. Did they not learn anything from those teen comedy heist movies? (kvia.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IF AMERICA’S GOAL WAS TO ADD FUEL TO THE FIRE AND HELP ISRAEL IN ITS HORRIBLE, SOUTH AFRICA-STYLE HANDLING OF THE BORDER DISPUTE WITH PALESTINE, THEN MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. LET IT BE NOTED THAT DONALD TRUMPS IDIOTIC ACTIONS DIRECTLY LED TO THE DEATHS OF 60 PALESTINIAN CIVILIANS – The junior version of Apartheid South Africa, emboldened by Donald Trump’s idiotic move of the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem, acted disproportionately to protests on the Gaza border by firing live rounds at unarmed protesters and killing dozens of people in the process. But the Palestinians had rocks and burning tires, so the brave Apartheid Warriors of Jerusalem were fully justified in using machine guns and calling in airstrikes. Even the UN condemned the horrible overuse of force that happened on Monday and they generally just let Apartheid South Africa Junior do whatever the hell they want. This was a low point for diplomacy in the Middle East and it is completely deplorable that the Palestinians are being ghettoized and massacred at will. Forcing people into ghettos, massacring them when they rise up because of horrible living conditions and then claiming the moral high ground by saying it is “self defense”. Gee, where have we seen that before? (bbc.com)

SPEAKING OF STUPID ACTIONS THAT HAVE DONE MORE HARM THAN GOOD IN THE MIDDLE EAST, LET’S CHECK IN ON IRAN – If the ultimate goal was to make America look weak and untrustworthy, then the current foreign policy is working wonders. Even though the United States have pulled out of the Iran Nuclear Deal, the European Union is still trying to salvage it because it was working and because the last thing the world needs is an economically challenged Iran pushed to make nukes as bargaining chips. The fact that Europe and the rest of the world are still working on this without America’s help speaks volumes to the diminished role and standing that the United States now has. When will this corrupt shitshow in the White House end? (reuters.com)

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER SCHOOL SHOOTING. BUT DON’T WORRY, REPUBLICANS (I.E. FAKE CHRISTIANS) ARE OFFERING THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. WHY EVEN BOTHER REPORTING ON ALL OF THIS, THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS WILL SOLVE THIS PROBLEM IN A SNAP – Somehow, a teenager was able to get access to a shotgun, handgun and other weapons used in a school massacre and the right wing gun nuts are still trying to blame video games and other random nonsense in order to avoid talking about gun control. But at least they offered thoughts and prayers, the most powerful tool available to the Fake Plastic Evangelicals. So 10 innocent kids are dead in Santa Fe High School near Houston and still nothing will be done by the idiots in charge. No one is talking about banning all guns, rational people just want to make sure that fucked up teenagers can’t get easy access to multiple high powered weapons. Is that too much to ask? (reuters.com)

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 05/11/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

WE’RE GETTING CLOSE TO THE DAY WHEN TXDOT SHUTS DOWN ALL THE ROADS IN EL PASO TO PAINT ONE SINGLE TRAFFIC STRIPE ON THE FREEWAY. A TRAFFIC STRIPE THAT WILL BE PAINTED INCORRECTLY THUS RESULTING IN MORE ROAD CLOSURES THE FOLLOWING WEEK. GOOD JOB, TXDOT – The geniuses at txdot are back at it and this time they will close I-10 at the intersection of Sunland Park Drive for 57 hours this weekend to demolish the old Sunland Flyover ramps over I-10 as part of their Super Fantastic Go 10 Re-Construction Project. This latest artificial clusterfuck will shut down the freeway during both a holiday AND UTEP graduations. They got testy when questioned about the timing of the closure and txdot’s not-a-moron spokesperson, Jennifer Wright, responded, “If not this weekend, when?” Gee, Jenny, maybe when it isn’t a holiday AND when there aren’t multiple fucking graduation ceremonies going on a few miles away. I’m sure the original plan was to close the freeway during an important Sunland Park Racetrack event, but even txdot has some common sense. But here we are, part of a Frankenstein state called Texas and forced to take orders from morons hundreds of miles away. Would it be so bad if everything west of the Pecos became a separate state and then we would only have to deal with EPDOT? (cbs4local.com)

LANE GADDY JUST HAS TO BUY A COUPLE OF BUILDINGS IN JUAREZ AND HE’LL BE KING OF THE GREATER MOGOLLON REGION – Not to be outdone by his amazing building renovations in Downtown El Paso, Lane Gaddy has decided to spread the wealth and is leading an investment group in the purchase of the tallest building in Las Cruces. The 11-story Electronic Caregiver building and surrounding area will now, hopefully, get the Lane Gaddy treatment and become a classy yet modern destination in Las Cruces. The city has been seeing some new developments lately and the introduction of Lane Gaddy and friends to the mix signifies that more investment and construction projects are surely on the horizon for Las Cruces. (elpasoinc.com)

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN BAR OWNERS THAT DON’T REALLY GET ALONG WITH THEIR NEIGHBORS MOVE INTO THE WHINIEST RESIDENTIAL NEIGHBORHOOD IN EL PASO? WE’RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT! – The residents of Kern Place have been complaining about any random noise that comes out of the Cincinnati Entertainment District for decades now and most people have learned to ignore them and just do enough to keep them from stopping the economic progress of the Westside. You’d think that living mere feet from North Mesa (one of the most crowded streets in El Paso) would have made them accustomed to noise and traffic. But no, they’ll still bitch and complain about any business that moves anywhere near Stanton. But now it seems that things will get even wackier as the owners of Later Later, who actually have warrants out for not showing up to court for noise complaints, plan to open a bar near Cincy. Add to this the fact that all the local news stations love nothing more than giving crazy people an outlet to complain about pointless shit and you have the ingredients for a very entertaining public fight. We haven’t had any crazy public meetings yet on this topic, but you just know they’re coming. So get your popcorn ready and don’t forget to create a drinking game that involves taking a shot every time a resident of Kern places bitches about traffic circles even though the meeting isn’t even remotely related to street issues. You’ll die of alcohol poisoning in 15 minutes. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S EUROVISION TIME! THE WORLD’S FAVORITE SONG CONTEST … EXCEPT FOR CHINA. EUROVISION IS APPARENTLY A LITTLE TOO GAY FOR CHINA – It’s that time of the year again, time for Europe to crown its champion of music by ignoring all musical merit and focusing instead on gimmicks and wackiness. Yes, kids, it’s Eurovision time! We have some global controversy this year as Chinese broadcaster Mango TV has lost its broadcast rights because they decided to censor parts of the semi-final round when a rainbow flag was pictured on screen and when two men were seen dancing together. Apparently rainbow flags and dancing gay men are the new enemy supreme of China. The grand final will take place on Saturday and, as always, expect the gimmickiest, gaudiest and over the top performance to be crowned as champion. Don’t even worry about analyzing the music (it isn’t even remotely about the music), just sit back and enjoy the magical and overblown spectacle. (bbc.com)

THE HISTORY OF HORSE DOMESTICATION AND THE SPREAD OF LANGUAGE AND IDEAS IN EURASIA HAS BEEN A COMPLEX ISSUE THAT HAS LED TO MUCH DEBATE OVER THE YEARS. AFTER STUDIES OF THE LARGEST COLLECTION OF HUMAN DNA EVER ANALYZED, THE HISTORY OF EURASIA CONTINUES TO BE A COMPLEX ISSUE THAT HAS LED TO MUCH DEBATE – For fans of DNA research and ancient history (who isn’t a fan?), recent studies released in the journals Nature and Science have been a godsend. The Discover Magazine blog has an excellent run down of all these studies and if you aren’t going to read the journals you might as well feed your mind with the summaries. From horse domestication to the Indo European Language Family to tool use to the hepatitis B virus, these studies cover everything but the invention of the kitchen sink (and that will probably come in a later DNA study). (blogs.discovermagazine.com)

IF IT LOOKS LIKE FRAUD AND BRIBERY, IT’S PROBABLY FRAUD AND BRIBERY. UNLESS DONALD TRUMP AND FRIENDS ARE INVOLVED, THEN FOX NEWS LABELS IT “COMMON PRESIDENTIAL BEHAVIOR”. NOTHING TO SEE HERE – The Trump Shitshow continued this week as his personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, was found accepting large sums of money from corporations that had business or pending business decisions related to the federal government. Michael Cohen is a shitty lawyer from the shittiest law school in America and somehow large corporations were giving him hundreds of thousands of dollars for his expertise and not because he could get them influence and access to Donald Trump. Suuuuuuuuuuure. At worst this is extortion to try and get companies to pay up or be punished and at best this is the president’s FRIEND AND PERSONAL LAWYER selling access and possible influence regarding important national decisions. AT&T and the other companies that paid this moron are like the creepy guys on To Catch A Predator who would walk in to a stranger’s house pants-less with a six-pack and a box of condoms. We don’t need to see them commit the crime, we all know what their intent was and what they wanted to accomplish with the fictional underage girl. Where’s Chris Hansen when you need him? (bbc.com)

Simple Minded Daily Recap-ITATION! – 05/04/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

SOMEHOW WHITE SANDS IS JUST A NATIONAL MONUMENT AND NOT A NATIONAL PARK. HOW THE HELL IS IT NOT A MAJOR NATIONAL PARK EVEN AFTER ALL THE INTERNATIONAL ACCOLADES AND RECOGNITION? – White Sands is one of our region’s most beautiful natural wonders and the federal government has done a decent job in preserving it, yet they still haven’t turned it into a National Park! Hopefully all that will change as local governments and U.S. Senator Martin Heinrich are leading the charge to raise White Sand’s profile to National Park status. Some of the current National Parks pale in comparison to White Sands so the change in designation should be a no-brainer. (cbs4local.com)

NOW IF THE GHOST OF PANCHO VILLA EVER WANTS TO ATTACK COLUMBUS, HE’LL HAVE AN EASIER TIME CROSSING INTO AMERICA – Construction has started on the new and improved expansion of the Columbus Port of Entry. The vital connection to Palomas will now have expanded pedestrian areas and more lanes for vehicle traffic. Columbus is rarely in the news, so it’s nice that they are getting some improvements in the town. (cbs4local.com)

CLINT ISD MIGHT FINALLY MOVE INTO THE WORLD OF REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY INSTEAD OF THE CURRENT GOOD ‘OL BOY VOTING NETWORK THAT THEY USE TO DETERMINE WHO SERVES ON THE SCHOOL BOARD – Clint ISD is alone in the realm of local school districts in the way that they choose trustees. The current method is decided on an at-large basis that results in most of the board members coming from the same location because of general voter apathy and population distortion. This leads to schools in the Montana Vista and Horizon area being severely under represented. To correct this, the school board is finally moving toward a direct representation system in which each school area will vote for a representative that comes directly from the area and not based on a popularity vote. There will still be a few seats determined by total vote, but this is a step in the right direction and finally gives people in the far flung reaches of the district a voice in school matters. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

IT’S ALMOST AS IF ARGENTINA SAW VENEZUELA’S ABSURD CURRENCY RATES AND CRAZY ECONOMY AND FELT OBLIGATED TO TRY AND TOP IT – Argentina has raised its interest rate to an amazingly high 40% as it attempts to stop the bleeding from its collapsing currency. Although this looks crazy, it’s the only thing Argentina can do as it transitions to a more market friendly economy after years of protectionism and extreme public spending by the previous administration. The powers that be are steadfast in maintaining a 15% inflation rate and thus the currency and interest rate will continue in its deadly tango to ensure that inflation doesn’t blow up and destroy Argentina as is usually the case in the South American country. At least Argentina is trying to fix its problems as opposed to Venezuela who just want to blame everyone else for their incompetence. (bbc.com)

IF YOU WERE PLANNING ON VISITING HAWAII SOON, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY CHECK YOUR TRAVEL PLANS – The Kilauea volcano in Hawaii has been active for years but now it has decided to up its volcano game and branch out. Although the increased volcanic and seismic activity is isolated to a small part of one of the Hawaiian islands, it is still pretty catastrophic to the people that took a risk and built their houses next to an active volcano. The videos that are coming from Kilauea are spectacular but let’s not sensationalize this and act like all of Hawaii is going to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Yes, there is a volcano erupting in Hawaii. But no, it is not going to destroy America’s beloved island state that should be its own country. (bbc.com)

THE FIRST SATURDAY IN MAY IS FREE COMIC BOOK DAY! GUESS WHAT SATURDAY IS COMING UP? – This weekend brings another installment of Free Comic Book Day, the day that cheapos can enjoy the finest of the Ninth Art for FREE! So take a break from all the awful things going on in the world by picking up a free comic book filled with super fights, violence and jaded, smart-ass dialogue. (elpasoheraldpost.com)

Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2017 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics

In case you missed it, here’s our full recap of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs of 2017 in one convenient location.  In addition to the songs, we've also included top albums and other stats derived from the list. Enjoy.

SIMPLE MINDED TOP 100 SONGS OF 2017

1. “Saved” – Khalid – (American Teen)
2. “Slip Away” – Perfume Genius – (No Shape)
3. “The Study On Falling” – Asaf Avidan – (The Study On Falling)
4. “Desert” – Brand New – (Science Fiction)
5. “The Return Of…” – Left Boy
6. “Wreath” – Perfume Genius – (No Shape)
7. “L’Esercito Del Selfie” – Takagi & Ketra with Lorenzo Fragola and Arisa
8. “Turbo” – Cosmo – (Cosmotronic)
9. “The Good Part” – AJR – (The Click)
10. “We Drift On” – Dan Black with Imogen Heap and Prequell – (Do Not Revenge)

Continue reading “Simple Minded Recap-ITATION! – Top 100 Songs Of 2017 Plus Top Albums And Other Statistics”

Simple Minded Weekly Recap-ITATION! – 04/27/2018

PASO DEL NORTE-CENTRIC NEWS

KUDOS TO UTEP’S WILL HERNANDEZ FOR BEING DRAFTED IN THE NFL DRAFT. AND ALSO FOR PROVING THAT EVEN IF YOU ARE ON A CRAPPY TEAM THAT DOESN’T WIN ANY GAMES, AS LONG AS YOU WORK HARD AND DO YOUR THING YOU CAN EXCEL IN THE HARDEST OF SITUATIONS – Will Hernandez, the UTEP offensive lineman that was one of the few bright spots in the past few years of sad UTEP football, has been drafted by the New York Giants in the 2^nd Round (34^th Overall) of the NFL Draft. Even in the most dire of situations, Will Hernandez never gave up and was a solid presence on the UTEP offensive line. Congratulations to Will and hopefully this is a spark that can be used by the UTEP staff to lead the team back to somewhat respectable levels. (kvia.com)

LIKE THE MAJESTIC SWALLOWS RETURNING TO CAPISTRANO EVERY YEAR; THE ILL-PREPARED. LOWER VALLEY, DOMESTICATED DUCKS HAVE RETURNED TO ASCARATE LAKE TO DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH – Because it just wouldn’t be an El Paso tradition if it didn’t involve poor planning and basic abandonment, countless idiots have once again purchased baby ducks for Easter and then dumped them at Ascarate Lake when they magically transform from cute baby ducks into large, angry and annoying adult ducks. We’ll let Loretta Hyde from the Animal Rescue League explain why this is a bad idea: “Year after year, people get these little ducklings and chicks and little bunnies for Easter and every year, when they’re done with them and the cuteness has worn off, they end up at the lake.” Fuck, people are also dumping chickens and bunnies in Ascarate Lake! What the fuck is wrong with people? So don’t dump your unwanted ducks in Ascarate Lake and definitely don’t dump your chickens and bunnies in the lake as well. I don’t think chickens and bunnies would like Ascarate and I highly doubt they can swim. If anything, I think chickens and bunnies would like the Upper Valley or maybe one of the nice places on the Westside. So take your bunnies to the Animal Shelter or to Whole Foods on North Mesa, I think that’s where bunnies would like to go instead of Ascarate. (cbs4local.com)

THIS WEEK MULTIPLE LOCAL SCHOOL DISTRICTS DID SOMETHING STUPID, CANUTILLO ISD STILL MANAGED TO OUTSTUPID THEM ALL – The trendy students at Canutillo High School saw some stupid “things to do before graduation list” online and like good little posers decided to copy it. A good portion of the activities were illegal and all hell broke loose on campus as multiple students were sent to alternative education for doing illegal things on the list. The principal and District sort of had a half-assed response to this whole thing and somehow managed to drag a dwarf into this as she had to go to the local news stations to complain because one of the challenges was to “jump over a little person” and this led to her being bullied at school. So to recap, the students at Canutillo High saw a list with “jump over a little person” and “smoke marijuana in class” and thought it would be cool to do it. Meanwhile the authority figures at the district fought over a barn. If only one of the items on the list was “don’t be a poser” or “be a competent district administrator” this would have never escalated to this point. (cbs4local.com)

REST OF THE WORLD-CENTRIC NEWS

FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME, THE LEADERS OF NORTH AND SOUTH KOREA HAVE AGREED IN PRINCIPLE TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO BRING PEACE TO THE PENINSULA. LET’S HOPE THIS ONE ACTUALLY LEADS SOMEWHERE AND MAYBE LEADS TO PEACE AND UNIFICATION – Although Donald Trump would like to claim direct responsibility for the olive branch fest in Korea, the fact is that he is such a horrible sack of shit that North Korea decided to take advantage of this situation to try and get a good deal with South Korea now that the south is starting to look at a Trump-led America as more of an obnoxious bully than a friend. After Trump’s use of tariffs on “close friend” South Korea for no apparent reason, they are starting to think,”With Friends like this …” So I guess Trump is INDIRECTLY responsible for this meeting at least. The agreement between the North’s Kim Jong-un and the South’s Moon Jae-in calls for a plan to denuclearize the peninsula and for a formal peace treaty between both nations. The final form that this plan takes will now depend on Donald Trump and how much Kim Jong-un can get out of him in their upcoming meeting. From his actions it seems that Kim Jong-un is willing to abandon nuclear weapons completely as long as America stops its joint military exercises in the region and moves its troops and bases from South Korea. While this can’t be done instantly, if there is a gradual American withdrawal from the peninsula and North Korea continues on the path away from nuclear weapons a lasting peace and reunification might be possible in a span of a few decades. As long as it’s done gradually, and not overnight, a successful reunification is possible this century. The key word here is ‘gradual’. The last thing we need is an economic and social clusterfuck like we witnessed in Eastern Europe in the years after the collapse of the Soviet Union. (bbc.com)

NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY ITS HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS AGAINST THE ROHINGYA IN THE SOUTH OF THE COUNTRY, THE GOVERNMENT OF MYANMAR NOW WANTS TO FOCUS ON NEW HUMAN RIGHTS VIOLATIONS AGAINST THE KACHIN IN THE NORTH OF THE COUNTRY. WHO SAYS YOU HAVE TO BE A BIG NATION TO ENGAGE IN THE RAMPANT IMAGINARY NATIONALISM AND BLATANT LAND THEFT FOUND IN LARGE FRANKENSTEIN COUNTRIES – The Kachin Independence Army (KIA) has announced that the government of Myanmar have increased their activity in the north of the country and the resulting fighting will create a new wave of refugees in that part of the country. The Kachin people and their independence movement is much older and more well entrenched in the country than the Rohingya, so the Myanmar government will probably have a tougher time in pushing them around. May the Kachin and Rohingya one day get their own country and may all the Frankenstein countries go fuck themselves. Maybe the Myanmar and Israeli governments can get together and complain about how the world community “unfairly” criticizes them for stealing other people’s land and killing civilians. (reuters.com)

ALL HAIL DNA! IT SOLVED THE CASE OF THE GOLDEN STATE KILLER WITHOUT BREAKING A SWEAT AND DIDN’T “ACCIDENTALLY” SHOOT ANY UNARMED PEOPLE IN THE PROCESS – Authorities have identified Joseph DeAngelo as the prime suspect in the murders, rapes and thefts that were committed by the so-called Golden State Killer / Original Night Stalker. The serial killer’s rampage continued from the mid-‘70s to the mid-‘80s with the authorities virtually powerless to stop it. In fact, the crimes only stopped because the killer got bored or possibly changed his MO or location. Although DNA had originally linked most of his crimes, the culprit was not discovered until the available DNA was matched with a commercial DNA database used for genealogical purposes. From there the authorities were able to trace it all back to Joseph DeAngelo and now many people will get some closure for all the pain they have suffered. I think I speak for everyone when I say Fuck Joseph DeAngelo and I hope he rots in Hell. (bbc.com)

TOP 100 SONGS OF 2017 – #1 “Saved” by Khalid

We have reached the end of the list and now please enjoy the top song of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs of 2017.

# 1

Khalid

“Saved”

American Teen

AWESOMETASTIC AUDIO SAMPLE:

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE SONG!

POINTLESS TRIVIA THAT’S SORT OF RELATED TO THE SONG:

Although not born in El Paso, Khalid spent a good portion of his teens at Americas High School and considers El Paso his hometown. Khalid is pretty damn cool and 100% El Pasoan.

BONUS SEXY PIC (A sexy pic of the artist or a sexy pic that’s loosely inspired by the song. If no sexy pic of the artist is available, we typed the song title plus “sexy” and/or “nude” into Google image search and this is what we got.) :

PasoDelNorte Sexiness! Khalid makes awesome music and he’s from El Paso, thus he kicks ass and is super sexy! Hey, I’m a shameless homer for hometown talent.

We have reached the end of the Simple Minded Entertainment Top 100 Songs Of 2017 list. Hope you enjoyed it! Once more, don’t forget to support good music! Go buy these songs now (at the store or digitally) or stream them on a legit source so the musicians make money! Mankind can’t live on bootlegging alone. We’ll be back in early-ish 2019 to reveal our Top 100 Songs of 2018.